|
My father killed two men in two separated occasions, he also helped stage a major jail breakout in the 70s. One of the men he shot was related to said breakout. My grandfather on my motherīs side was a legit nazi that decided to live it out in South America rather than return to Europe. My grandmother used to have a bunch of pictures of when her kids were growing up, one of those is of my uncle when he was just a baby sitting on a strangerīs lap. When i asked her if he was also a relative or something she revealed that it was Mengele and that Granpa used to visit him in the 50s. My cousin used to work as a bank officer and decided it would be a good idea to empty some accounts and transfer the money to his own, one of said accounts belonged to a retired police captain. He will probably get out of jail in another 15 years or so.
|
#
?
Oct 9, 2015 23:38
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 16, 2024 23:52 |
|
|
My mom always used to ask papa why she didn't have grandparents on his side and he'd say some poo poo like they got eaten by polar bears and stuff like that. She was always like "oh dad why you always gotta make up crazy Pollack bullshit  "Turns out it's either true or a lot worse. But there's no way to know. He came from a big polish family and when the Nazis came they had to escape somehow. Apparently they somehow ended up in a Siberian gulag. Everyone died except for four. Papa, his two brothers, and his sister. At some point they made it to the Philippines. Sister became a nun, older brother married a chick, younger was gay and disowned. All the brothers immigrated thru California. Older one stayed in California, mine went as far east as Ohio & the youngest got GRID. Sister stayed with the church. Nobody knows any details. The only thing left is a little urn of ashes, some old pics, and an amulet. I remember him sitting me and my siblings down when we were young as gently caress and explaining how when he died he wanted to be cremated and what that ment and he probably had like ten years left. My mom flipped out and thought we'd be, like, traumatized or something, but I at least was totally fine with it and got it. I've had this bronze amulet for a while and nobody could figure out what the gently caress. My one friend was a mason and was intrigued and kinda creeped out by it, cause he said he thought it looked Masonic, but if it was it would have to be "really high degree over what I know. Usually you can tell if a figure is supposed to be good or bad, but you can't tell at all with this." Etc, etc. Then one day I was watching some science channel thing on syncretic religions and they talked about the Philippines and I paused, rewound, freeze framed. It was right there, super similar practically the same. They only showed it for a few seconds. Dunno how he ended up with the thing. P sad I'm a failure goon because while I want my urn next to his I never got any meaningful object to put up with it. One of the thumb sticks from my vidia game controllers isn't real magic like that.
|
|
#
?
Oct 10, 2015 03:06
|
|
|
My dad cooked meth. Didn't find out until well into adulthood. As a kid my life was basically breaking bad light.
|
|
#
?
Oct 10, 2015 04:07
|
|
|
McZargalds posted:My dad cooked meth. Didn't find out until well into adulthood. As a kid my life was basically breaking bad light. Did he use it? If he only sold it, did he at least spend some of his sweet drug money on you?
|
|
#
?
Oct 10, 2015 04:30
|
|
|
THE DOG HOUSE posted:apparently im directly related to some guy who fiercly fought to keep slavery around in the USA . I saw a dot matrix family tree and everything. also another one of my direct relatives hosed abraham lincoln One of multiple-great grandmothers is Mary Surratt, who was hanged for being a lincoln assassination conspirator
|
|
#
?
Oct 10, 2015 17:26
|
|
|
MeLKoR posted:My family motto is "nemo me impune lacessit". 
|
|
#
?
Oct 10, 2015 17:46
|
|
|
My sisters dad shot himself a whole bunch of mounties back in the sixties. The official story is 'he just went crazy one day'. Truth be told, he was a good looking Aboriginal dude with a fondness for the white ladies, hence my sister. The mounties would pick him up about every other week and beat the living poo poo out of him, in an effort to learn him good or whatever. Whether he shot the ones responsible or not doesn't really matter, they died screaming and that's good enough for me.
|
|
#
?
Oct 10, 2015 18:10
|
|
|
one of my great great grandpas married his first cousin
|
|
#
?
Oct 10, 2015 19:05
|
|
|
deep impact on vhs posted:somewhat related, anyone have good luck with those ancestry sites? kinda interested in finding out more about my family They're very useful, but not in the way that many people think. You can't type your name in (or your parents' names) and magically get a family history. The sites are repositories for documents (generally government documents) that may or may not contain the names of your ancestors. People often to get the idea that they can sign up and then get an already-compiled family history, which is not the case. I've been doing genealogy for around 20 years now, and I still have years of work ahead of me. It's extremely interesting, but more complicated and time-consuming than most realize. Your luck with the sites will depend on how far back your family has been in America, and beyond that, what country they came from. Family in America since colonial times? You're golden. You're American, but your father immigrated to America from Malaysia? You'll find basically nothing. If your ancestors came from another English-speaking country (or at least a "white" country), then you've at least got a chance of finding records there. That being said, Ancestry usually offers 2-weeks-free trials, so you might as well try it out. ChairmanMeow posted:did you find any genetic matches? Anyone who is any kind of "white" will have thousands of matches via the DNA tests at Ancestry and 23andMe. Anyone who is black will still likely have thousands of matches. The only time you end up with few matches (and by few, I still mean 100+,) is if you're from a population who is unlikely to have purchased DNA testing. If you're American but you were born in China to 100% Chinese parents and adopted by American parents then you will have very few matches, because nobody in China is buying DNA tests. Regardless of your race/ethnicity, most of your matches will be from so far back in time that you won't have any idea how you're related to them. Like, you share an ancestor back in the 1600's. And if you come from a significantly inbred population (Ashkenazi Jewish, French-Canadian, Amish, etc) then just lol, because it breaks the relationship-predicting system. You'll have a buttload of people showing up as your 2nd cousin when in reality they're actually your 4th cousin on your mom's side plus your 5th cousin on your dad's side, plus their grandparents were 1st cousins to each other plus they're all each other's 7th cousin, etc. All those tiny bits of DNA from distant ancestors add up and makes it look like they're a much closer cousin than they are. But again, it's still very interesting, and you always have a chance of unearthing some crazy skeletons of your own, or helping someone else out with theirs. Be forewarned that I've been doing the DNA stuff for 6 years now and people discover shocking secrets from it ALL THE loving TIME. Their dad isn't their dad, they are the product of donor sperm, they're adopted and were never told, they or one of their parents is the product of incest, etc.
|
|
#
?
Oct 10, 2015 19:28
|
|
|
I found out my grandmother's maiden name was white, and that I'm related to the West Virginia Whites. This was discovered some time after seeing the documentary. So proud.
|
|
#
?
Oct 10, 2015 19:29
|
|
|
uncle frank didn't die of cancer, he hung himself because his wife cheated on him. right after he died, his wife's lover went to live with her and her two children. and this is why we never went to see aunt mel again joke-cracking, keyboard-playing, lovable goof uncle tony was in fact super depressed and has only recently recovered. his wife says they won't have children because "he's my child" uncle john is a gambling addict and his wife has to hide money from him when my grandparents died, their sons and daughters jumped to each other's throats over their house, and this is the real reason they sold it uncle matt used to be a monarchist (wtf)
|
|
#
?
Oct 10, 2015 19:53
|
|
|
chalk posted:My maternal grandfather was a military dog handler. During the 1970s he had five children and then disappeared for a number of years. My grandmother assumed he'd left and began seeing somebody else. One day my grandfather suddenly returned and, seeing a strange man on the sofa, said something like "Who the gently caress are you? I'm back now, get out of my house." and simply moved back in. this one's probably the most sordid, dog pack attacks are grisly and he probably saw packs tear many people literally to shreds, their organs splayed and supped upon heap that upon ethnostatist apartheid, a culturally monstrous crime, this takes all the cakes
|
|
#
?
Oct 10, 2015 19:58
|
|
|
hackbunny posted:uncle matt used to be a monarchist (wtf) hosed up if... true
|
|
#
?
Oct 10, 2015 20:06
|
|
|
op needs to make a sequel thread where we vote on the most hosed-up skeletons. my vote goes to either the mercenary rascit grandpa or the family that reenacted part of flowers in the attic.
|
|
#
?
Oct 10, 2015 21:12
|
|
|
symbolic posted:op needs to make a sequel thread where we vote on the most hosed-up skeletons. my vote goes to either the mercenary rascit grandpa or the family that reenacted part of flowers in the attic. How is it possible that these are getting more shocking? I've never seem that happen, usually these threads just dry up after a week or so. I thought flowers in the attic was going to be the peak, but then paid-people-to-rape family-members might have topped it Edit: unless "two of my great great grwmdma's kids were her grandkids" means what i think it does, in which case flowers in the attic is back on top Drunk Nerds fucked around with this message at 05:06 on Oct 12, 2015 |
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2015 05:04
|
|
|
Oh boy, my family is a dysfunction junction when it comes to skeletons in the closet. How I found that my childhood nanny, whom I thought was fired when I told my mother I saw her getting involved with a construction worker (we were renovating at the time), was instead fired for using a cloth hanger to abort a baby from that relationship. The mystery of my paternal grandmother's death: a tale in which we find that no, she didn't die from a heart attack but was instead shot in the head. Why did my parents divorce? I had thought it was because my parents were too different and my dad suffering from a heavy degree of Aspergers. All that plus a lesbian relationship from my mother with her best friend. How that said best friend was thrown in jail for fiscal fraud and had to escape to the US where she met a mysterious business owner who then mysteriously died from an OD for a drug habit that he was supposed to have kicked. Mother didn't want to visit her uncle ever again because she was a rebellious child but rather because she was sexually abused by him. And many more.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2015 05:31
|
|
|
My mom had another kid before my 3 sisters and me. I didn't know until he showed up for like a month when I was 12. We never talk about him now. I've still got some baseball cards he gave me. nooneofconsequence fucked around with this message at 06:45 on Oct 12, 2015 |
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2015 06:11
|
|
|
my parents don't tell me poo poo about their past and i don't ask poo poo about their past it's very healthy and all of you should try it
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2015 06:27
|
|
|
I have a family member on my mother's side who performed her own abortion with a hat pin.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2015 07:03
|
|
|
Das Boo posted:I have a family member on my mother's side who performed her own abortion with a hat pin. see? wouldn't you prefer not to know that?
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2015 07:06
|
|
|
Das Boo posted:I have a family member on my mother's side who performed her own abortion with a hat pin. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2015 08:15
|
|
|
Drunk Nerds posted:but then paid-people-to-rape family-members might have topped it This is the only one I can't figure out. If "GA" is great aunt and the receivers of the raping were the poster's great aunt and grandma as stated (bolding mine): Rudoku posted:This one's apparently common in the post slavery days: My grandmother's parents both died suddenly (her mom was headstrong and had a lot of enemies, she may have been poisoned) and 9 out of the 10 kids (3 Girls, 7 Boys) they had went to live with an aunt and great aunt. When the Aunt went to work, apparently the GA would get rid of the boys and have random men pay to rape my Grandmother and Great Aunt. Was the great aunt letting men pay to rape herself and her sister or were there two great aunts one of which got paid for men to rape her two sisters? If it was only one great aunt and grandma, and this is something really common after slavery as stated at the beginning of the post, were they just missing the days they could hunt mandingos in their family field and was just a common kink after slavery? Also, thanks to mini golf goon for some comedy relief amongst the killing, raping and incest. Kirk Vikernes fucked around with this message at 16:13 on Oct 12, 2015 |
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2015 15:59
|
|
|
I'm gay.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2015 16:30
|
|
|
Dirk Squarejaw posted:This is the only one I can't figure out. If "GA" is great aunt and the receivers of the raping were the poster's great aunt and grandma as stated (bolding mine): I was told this story after my grandmother watched some show on BET about post-slavery life, then compared it to her own. And to specify, it was her Great Aunt (who I guess was a child of a slave) that let the men rape her and her sister (my Great Aunt). I just didn't want to put that many "greats"down. Rudoku fucked around with this message at 16:58 on Oct 12, 2015 |
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2015 16:55
|
|
|
One of my wife's first cousins is a strong liberal, who pissed off thebentire family by pretending to be staunchly conservative in order to get a job as the district attorney of a right wing county. There's been some schadenfreude recently, as one of the high profile mass shootings of the last few years happened in his county, so watching him have to be frequently interviewed on the news, and double down on "gun control isnt the solution," when we all know he disagrees with what he's saying has been pleasantly awkward to behold.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2015 17:21
|
|
|
I guess I'm the skeleton in someone's closet, though he doesn't know it yet. My mother got pregnant as a teenager at boarding school, and had me. She felt 100% sure that my father was her boyfriend there, but fast-forward 30-something years and DNA testing showed he isn't my father. Now my mother claims not to know who my father is, but she's a homeless heroin addict, so she's not exactly reliable and may just be refusing to say. Either way, some dude is probably going to have the shock of his life when I figure it out. My great-grandmother was from England. About 10 years after she was born, her mother (my great-grandmother) was sent to the county asylum, in approximately 1903. This place:  Her husband pretty promptly packed up the kids and moved the family to America, abandoning his wife to the asylum. She stayed there until her death in 1925. I've heard she was schizophrenic, but that's secondhand knowledge, so I don't know the truth. There are some surviving documents from the hospital, but they're sealed for 100 years after the death of the patient, so I've got another 10 years to wait. It's unlikely there are even detailed records, but even the admission log giving a few words about why she was admitted would be interesting to see. Additionally, once the aforementioned great-great-grandfather brought my great-grandmother and his other kids to America, he he sent my 12-year-old great-grandmother to live in a stranger's home and be their live-in maid. I'm pretty sure he probably collected her earnings from that too. I've got about a million other skeletons in the closet. We're a family of miscreants and ne'er-do-wells.
|
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2015 19:37
|
|
|
Mnemosyne posted:
it sounds brutal, but it wasn't uncommon for the time. My great grandma went so far as to tattoo my grandma so she could prove she was hers at the end of the winter season. That wasn't a secret though,no one liked the great grandma. ChairmanMeow fucked around with this message at 20:15 on Oct 12, 2015 |
|
#
?
Oct 12, 2015 20:12
|
|
|
This pales in comparison, but it's the best I've got. My mom wasn't supposed to be able to have kids, so I was unexpected. During the pregnancy, my dad, who by all accounts was not very religious at the time (He had kids from two previous marriages and one ...acquaintance) began to receive 'visions' and by the time I was born, he was fully convinced that if I wasn't the second coming of Jesus, I was at least like a Moses or Joseph Smith level preordained holy religious figure (They were Mormon), and that's the only reason I was conceived, which was supposed to be impossible. They started going back to church, and he was super-super religious for the rest of his life. He only told me this when I was like 18, in a desperate attempt to talk me out of sleeping with my girlfriend, it didn't work  Supposedly, he never told me before because I had stopped going to church some years previous, and I can't know about that stuff while living a sinful life or something to that effect. I wanted to know more, but he said I couldn't know more unless I started going to church again. I didn't, and he never would go into anymore detail. He's passed away since, so I guess I'll never know about my missed opportunity to be nu-Jesus or start my own cult or something. It sounds absurd now, but at the time I was considering what sort of prophesied religious role I could fill, and was briefly very concerned that I might be the anti-Christ.
counterfeitsaint fucked around with this message at 04:32 on Oct 13, 2015 |
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2015 01:52
|
|
|
My great uncle supposedly spent WW2 in the navy. He had a tattoo and mentioned it occasionally but never elaborated on it. A few months ago I asked my grandma about it and it turns out he shot himself in the foot during basic training and spent WW2 in prison. Grandma's dad was a moonshiner, but this isn't secret, she'll gladly tell you about it. However, grandma's grandma came to live with them after her grandpa died and his family tried to burn down g-g-grandma's house with her in it so they could have the land. Another great uncle and my two of my cousins bought mail order brides. Great uncle's wife got him to go back to the Philippines with her, where she poisoned him. His son can't afford to bring his wife over (apparently it's like $20,000) so instead he sends her money every week. She probably prefers it that way. Other cousin ended up divorcing his because she was nuts.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2015 03:09
|
|
|
My brother's first girlfriend in high school turned out to be the same girl our uncle and aunt gave up for adoption.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2015 03:17
|
|
|
WTF BEES posted:I found out my grandmother's maiden name was white, and that I'm related to the West Virginia Whites. This was discovered some time after seeing the documentary. So proud. are you any good at tap dancing and/or doing lines of oxycodone off a bar toilet?
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2015 03:46
|
|
|
Doppelganger posted:My brother's first girlfriend in high school turned out to be the same girl our uncle and aunt gave up for adoption. So he was dating his cousin? Weird.
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2015 03:49
|
|
|
my cousin was a bush appointee george w bush
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2015 04:01
|
|
|
great uncle was a methodist priest with fifteen illegitimate children
|
|
#
?
Oct 13, 2015 04:19
|
|
|
huskarl_marx posted:this one's probably the most sordid, dog pack attacks are grisly and he probably saw packs tear many people literally to shreds, their organs splayed and supped upon An extra dimension to this is that back in the UK he was pretty highly regarded in his local community, and by my mother's account he was a strict but decent father... take from that what you will. I never met the guy, he died of cancer before I was born. However - one of his children (and therefore my aunt) has been disowned by that side of the family, for reasons that I still don't know, so there may be more skeletons to come! Yaaaay.
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2015 15:05
|
|
|
My paternal grandmother's actual husband was killed early on in WW2 so she shacked up with an American GI stationed in the village year or so later. She got pregnant, he went to war and presumably also died and of course she'd never married the man and still had her deceased husband's last name, so my dad ended up spending a lot of time with his aunt and uncle as a kid, since rural English villagers didn't look to kindly on single mothers in the 40s. I'd need to get him to clarify, but at some point she started seeing a Spaniard who I guess became his fairweather stepdad. I do know said Spaniard fought in the Civil War on the Republican side. Not a very interesting story but it's all I got. 
|
|
#
?
Oct 15, 2015 18:33
|
|
|
My mother's side was Confederate blue blood of the highest order until they were smashed by the Civil War. That family lineage, barring myself, is now trapped in defunct farming towns in the lower midwest. Also, I've got a cousin with three testicles.
|
|
#
?
Oct 24, 2015 01:43
|
|
|
My great-great-grandfather was supposedly a Russian count. When he was called to participate in some war, he fled the country in a hay cart and raised horses in Prussia. My dad had a twin, but he died in utero after my Oma was in a motorcycle accident. I guess my Opa was abusive and he literally drank himself to death with homemade beer. My uncle got drunk and tried to murder my Oma with a baseball bat. It's a miracle she even survived. He spent several years in prison for it. He and my Oma share a house now. My mom and uncle were adopted by my grandparents because they couldn't have children. When I was little, my mom ran into her birthmother in a Greyhound station. We would make the 7 hour drive to go up to see them every summer and I always considered them to be grandparents that weren't really grandparents. When I was 11, my mom told me that my "not really a grandmother" was "really a biological grandmother". I'm glad to know this, since now I know that breast cancer and diabetes run in the family. At my grandfathers funeral recently, we found out he had a brother that no one knew about. I guess he died as an infant.
|
|
#
?
Oct 24, 2015 02:44
|
|
|
a relative went to prison for executing a cop in a hostage situation that went wrong
|
|
#
?
Oct 24, 2015 03:08
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 16, 2024 23:52 |
|
|
one of my aunts was in a house that was getting raided by the police and she had a shitload of cocaine on her, so she stuffed into a ziplock bag and up her rear end. it burst and she died. this wasn't remotely a secret, though, so i guess it doesn't exactly work. sorry.
|
|
#
?
Oct 24, 2015 04:03
|
|
