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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:i don't care who passes ranger school they're dumb for still being in the army
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Oct 13, 2015 15:36
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MurderBot posted:I just want to go to a school where they teach me how to be a james bond type soldier. The one who learns how to dress fashionably, force women into having sex with me on boats, can drink copious amounts of alcohol but still round-house kick bitches in the face with precision accuracy, drive/fly anything. Also would allow me to not adhere to AR670-1 and grow sick hair-styles and not shave while I'm in the Bahamas plowing women for secrets of their bosses intention to sell plutonium to ISIS. Getting women to have sex with you on a boat is easy. You just get them all tipsy topside then bring them to a comfy spot below deck. They can't refuse, you know, because of the implication. Dude, dude, think about it. She is out in the middle of nowhere with a dude she barely knows. She looks around and what does she see? Nothing, but open ocean. "Ahh, theres no where for me to run, what am I gonna do, say no?!". If the girl says no, then obviously the answer is no, but the thing is she isn't going to say no. She would never say no, because of the implication. The implication that things might go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with me, you know, not that things are going to go wrong for her, but she's thinking that they will. Great episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ1lc6KASWg
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Oct 13, 2015 16:28
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MurderBot posted:I just want to go to a school where they teach me how to be a james bond type soldier. The one who learns how to dress fashionably, force women into having sex with me on boats, can drink copious amounts of alcohol but still round-house kick bitches in the face with precision accuracy, drive/fly anything. Also would allow me to not adhere to AR670-1 and grow sick hair-styles and not shave while I'm in the Bahamas plowing women for secrets of their bosses intention to sell plutonium to ISIS. Secret service was the right answer. Cocaine, hookers, suits, close fighting, weapons, and Yankee white clearances.
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Oct 13, 2015 16:47
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I think it's more the suspicion of compromising standards to get women through it. Which is a legitimate gripe if it's true. But I'm out so it doesn't bother me too much.
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Oct 13, 2015 19:23
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Lol if you give a poo poo at all about anything going on in the army Double lol if you have to give a poo poo because you're still in
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Oct 13, 2015 20:00
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i should close this thread and we'll never talk about the army again
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Oct 13, 2015 20:02
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But then where will we talk about how awesome it is to not be in the Army anymore?
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Oct 13, 2015 20:04
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Civ/Chat thread & drunk thread
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Oct 13, 2015 20:17
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This is just the schadenfreude thread for us to make fun of anyone still in.
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Oct 13, 2015 20:21
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Mike-o posted:This is just the schadenfreude thread for us to make fun of anyone still in. N4I, plz rename thread to this
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Oct 13, 2015 20:27
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I'm not gonna lie. Every now and then I wish I was still in. You know, hanging with my buddies every day. Shooting guns. Smoking and joking. Deployments were pretty cool. And I'm like "man... I should really see if I can reenli--" About this far into the thought process is when I've reached this thread and lmfao I feel like an idiot for ever wanting to go back in. What I'm saying is I need this thread.
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Oct 13, 2015 21:12
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I'm genuinely curious to see if I'll ever have those thoughts once I'm out. I'm having a hard time coming up with anything in the last 2.5 years that I'll miss, but I dunno. Maybe more time will allow the rose-colored glasses thing to kick in.
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Oct 13, 2015 21:18
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Sure as gently caress didn't happen for me. gently caress the army, 24/7/365
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Oct 13, 2015 21:28
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lol if you're still in
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Oct 13, 2015 21:52
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Wasabi the J posted:Secret service was the right answer. I transported a patient who does initial training for the FBI and some overseas special operation units. He gave me his contact number since we were actually talking about joining the secret service and, as he put it *I can get you in contact with individuals to at least guide you on the path towards a secret service career...Granted your first assignment will be some super lovely place* I'm almost at the point to call him, since my job is cool but PhD school is for loving idiots, even though that sounds rear end-backwards.
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Oct 13, 2015 22:07
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Aranan posted:I'm genuinely curious to see if I'll ever have those thoughts once I'm out. I'm having a hard time coming up with anything in the last 2.5 years that I'll miss, but I dunno. Maybe more time will allow the rose-colored glasses thing to kick in. I'm in the same boat plus one year. Got a counseling statement brewing for advising other Joes that reenlisting is for retards and negatively affecting unit morale. Not sure if that paperwork clears before my next meaningless ARCOM. Same guy wrote both so I guess it's up to him. Not sure why they think I'll give a poo poo about either.
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Oct 14, 2015 01:18
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not caring here posted:Sure as gently caress didn't happen for me. yea but the army turned you into a super broken soup brain
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Oct 14, 2015 01:27
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now I feel like ham and pea soup
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Oct 14, 2015 01:32
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Teflon Don posted:lol if you're still in
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Oct 14, 2015 01:32
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MurderBot posted:I transported a patient who does initial training for the FBI and some overseas special operation units. He gave me his contact number since we were actually talking about joining the secret service and, as he put it *I can get you in contact with individuals to at least guide you on the path towards a secret service career...Granted your first assignment will be some super lovely place* gently caress it dude, a man's best ambition in life is to be a secret squirrel or an astronaut or the president, and you got a chance to do one of those things. I've thought about reenlisted as an 18X, but under conditions I replace a molar with a cyanide capsule in case I wash out because gently caress giving the non-cool parts of the army another minute of my time. Actually gently caress all of that because the happiest times of my life never involved a uniform.
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Oct 14, 2015 06:16
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What the gently caress is a "Digital Liaison Detachment"?
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Oct 14, 2015 07:58
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Suntan Boy posted:What the gently caress is a "Digital Liaison Detachment"? Um you missed the fact that it's also an Operation. Digital Liaison Detachment Operation, or DLDO.
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Oct 14, 2015 08:06
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Why the gently caress am I up at 530 every goddamn day?
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Oct 14, 2015 14:23
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Soulex posted:Why the gently caress am I up at 530 every goddamn day? 
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Oct 14, 2015 14:27
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Soulex posted:Why the gently caress am I up at 530 every goddamn day? Dude, I feel ya. I've been out for 5 + years now and I still wake up every morning at 5-530 every day of the week
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Oct 14, 2015 14:34
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Man, if I wasn't hurt it wouldn't be a big deal. Mainly, I have a fast track 7 in 7 NCOIC that doesn't understand basic human decency. "Hey guys, all this week, we are going to clean up my mess that I put off for months, oh everything is still due as normal, you are big kids so just stay late." I get that it's normal, I've seen it loads in the 8+ years I've been in. I'm just loving tired of it. Tired of Facebook patriots all like "Thanks for service!" Dude, this is a job. That's like thanking you in Walmart or whatever when you are shopping for making my fries at McDonalds. I just want to be treated like a human. Instead of being this anger fueled hate gently caress robot that is slowly becoming self aware in the matrix.
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Oct 14, 2015 14:54
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Soulex posted:I just want to be treated like a human. Instead of being this anger fueled hate gently caress robot that is slowly becoming self aware in the matrix. ETS
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Oct 14, 2015 16:33
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Soulex posted:I just want to be treated like a human. Well, what the hell are you doing in the army then?
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Oct 14, 2015 18:49
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The Army does make a lot of stuff easier compared to how civilians see it. For example I live three miles from school so when the weather is really nice I'll walk. Takes about 50 minutes. When I tell people I walk three miles to school you would think I told them I climbed loving Everest to get there.
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Oct 14, 2015 20:46
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2019. Medboard pending stuff. Obstacle2 posted:Well, what the hell are you doing in the army then? I didn't learn this fact after the first 8 years. Cole posted:The Army does make a lot of stuff easier compared to how civilians see it. I just spent the last 3 hours pulling weeds.
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Oct 14, 2015 21:28
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When it's 830 in the morning and 55 degrees out I like to take advantage. Also does anyone not get cold as easy anymore? Everybody will be bundled up in heavy jackets and I'll be wearing a thin long sleeved shirt comfortably.
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Oct 14, 2015 22:14
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Cole posted:When it's 830 in the morning and 55 degrees out I like to take advantage. Also does anyone not get cold as easy anymore? Everybody will be bundled up in heavy jackets and I'll be wearing a thin long sleeved shirt comfortably. Loss of temperature sensitivity is one of the side effects of aging. You're getting old. Oldie.
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Oct 14, 2015 22:17
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Soulex posted:I just spent the last 3 hours pulling weeds. I thought that's what privates are for
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Oct 14, 2015 23:08
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I just spent three hours pulling my privates
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Oct 14, 2015 23:19
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Cole posted:When it's 830 in the morning and 55 degrees out I like to take advantage. Also does anyone not get cold as easy anymore? Everybody will be bundled up in heavy jackets and I'll be wearing a thin long sleeved shirt comfortably. I have this going on, but it's because I'm from Cleveland originally and now live in south Texas. The natives are wearing coats and watch caps any time it's under 70 and look at my like I'm nuts for coming in wearing just a long sleeve shirt if it's under 65.
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Oct 14, 2015 23:48
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Mustang posted:I thought that's what privates are for Shut up and go sit in your office, noble.
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Oct 15, 2015 00:03
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Mustang posted:I thought that's what privates are for I'm a triple private
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Oct 15, 2015 00:09
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Mustang posted:I thought that's what privates are for Shut up boot
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Oct 15, 2015 00:10
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Kiryen posted:I have this going on, but it's because I'm from Cleveland originally and now live in south Texas. The natives are wearing coats and watch caps any time it's under 70 and look at my like I'm nuts for coming in wearing just a long sleeve shirt if it's under 65. You've been away from home too long... Pussy.
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Oct 15, 2015 00:43
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its cool going home for this first time in like five years and seeing that since your father has died your mom lives in absolute filth ammonia ridden house and you have to be the first kid to have the balls to say anything to her and make her feel like poo poo but its also about the same temperature here as idaho so thats not so bad
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Oct 15, 2015 00:50
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