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Last Chance posted:Ahh haha one of my old favorites. I used to love these. Do they even do ones like this anymore? My alltime favorites are Ask An Elderly Black Woman As Depicted By A Sophomore Creative Writing Major and Ask a Gut-Shot Policeman.
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Oct 8, 2015 14:14
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My favorite of those: http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/ask-cover-letters-for-an-entry-level-social-media--35010
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Oct 8, 2015 16:59
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This Thought-Provoking Video Shows What The World Would Be Like If No One Smoked
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Oct 8, 2015 18:57
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:This Thought-Provoking Video Shows What The World Would Be Like If No One Smoked The guy offering the girl a light 
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Oct 9, 2015 06:09
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As much as I love it when the Onion goes super dark, their wacky absurd side makes me laugh just as hard. Beaver Overthinking Dam 
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Oct 9, 2015 13:22
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Alright, this Clickventure is driving me crazy. I seem to get real close but can't find the right path to evolve into a duck, assuming there is one. You’re A Single-Celled Organism. Can You Evolve Into A Duck?
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Oct 12, 2015 06:57
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i managed to become a picture of a duck
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Oct 12, 2015 07:08
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i became a duck
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Oct 12, 2015 07:15
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Oct 12, 2015 07:33
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Oct 12, 2015 18:52
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Blood Runs Down House Of Representatives Walls As Chamber Itself Selects New Speaker
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Oct 12, 2015 22:02
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:This Thought-Provoking Video Shows What The World Would Be Like If No One Smoked
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Oct 12, 2015 22:15
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Man Disgusted Just By Constant Thought Of 2 Guys Kissing
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Oct 13, 2015 01:20
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dead in real life posted:Alright, this Clickventure is driving me crazy. I seem to get real close but can't find the right path to evolve into a duck, assuming there is one. You’re A Single-Celled Organism. Can You Evolve Into A Duck? Size-->Size-->Size-->Land-->Beaks-->Beaks-->Beaks-->Henry-->Symbiotic Relationship-->Stone-->Roundness-->Smallness-->Smaller-->Split Open-->Duck.
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Oct 14, 2015 05:14
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College Administrators Hold Candlelight Vigil to Honor Donor Lost In Mishandled Rape Case 
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Oct 14, 2015 06:08
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Aging Mother Knows Any Wrong Move Could Be Taken For Telltale Sign Of Dementia
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Oct 15, 2015 02:17
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David Koch Delivers Suit With Note Reading ‘Wear This Tonight’ To Marco Rubio’s Hotel Room
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Oct 15, 2015 08:32
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Never-Before-Heard Buzzword Flying Around Office Can’t Be Good
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Oct 15, 2015 17:08
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Guantanamo Bay buys a comfy recliner and video games for Prisoners to play while being force fed.
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Oct 15, 2015 20:11
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American Voices: 43 Shootings Committed By U.S. Toddlers This Year Also that statistic is not something The Onion made up. 
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Oct 16, 2015 00:34
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Can You Comfort This Dying Horse With Some Bible Stories? "Horse, let me soothe you with these, the Ten Commandments: God is real. Never give up. Kill or be killed. Lick ’em and stick ’em. Give daddy his due. Something about a lake? Covet or be coveted. Usury. There they are, the Eight Commandments."
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Oct 16, 2015 00:55
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Ivanka Trump Defends Father Because, Well, Wills Can Be Rewritten
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Oct 16, 2015 23:33
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Evil Mastermind posted:Blood Runs Down House Of Representatives Walls As Chamber Itself Selects New Speaker At press time, House Republicans had decided that Roskam had not been willing enough to take on President Obama and were aggressively seeking his replacement.
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Oct 17, 2015 01:32
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Oct 17, 2015 04:57
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Depression, Strained Finances Combine Forces To Produce Grotesque Culinary Abomination
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Oct 19, 2015 18:37
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 O...kay...
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Oct 19, 2015 20:19
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nice, found my halloween costume
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Oct 19, 2015 20:23
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Fecal Transplant is a medical procedure more people should know about.
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Oct 19, 2015 20:24
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MariusLecter posted:Fecal Transplant is a medical procedure more people should know about. Didn't the forums commission a documentary on it a few years ago?
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Oct 19, 2015 21:23
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canyoneer posted:Didn't the forums commission a documentary on it a few years ago? Don't know about that, but Three Word Phrase did a comprehensive comic about it a while ago: 
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Oct 19, 2015 21:29
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It led to one of their best American Voices: Ooh, a new one on Ben Carson: Ben Carson Tormented By Periodic Rational Thoughts And one on where goons came from: New Evidence Confirms First Human Ancestors Climbed Down From Trees To Retrieve Dropped Snack
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Oct 19, 2015 22:21
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canyoneer posted:Didn't the forums commission a documentary on it a few years ago? Yes. Yes we did.
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Oct 19, 2015 23:53
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PewDiePie And 4 Other YouTube Millionaires To Help You Really Lean Into Your Bad Mood
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Oct 20, 2015 00:07
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MPAA Adds New Rating To Warn Audiences Of Films Not Based On Existing Works It's perfect. The Onion posted:The rating will also reportedly serve as a warning of the potentially disorienting effects associated with having to remember characters’ names for as many as two hours and the discomfort that can occur when one is forced to keep track of narrative arcs for an entire film. The Onion posted:Citing test audiences they have observed, MPAA officials said that many moviegoers spent the entirety of such [original] films in a state of distress, waiting for the moment when the Incredible Hulk, Katniss Everdeen, Wolverine, or another recognizable character from an established franchise would appear onscreen and clarify the meaning and direction of the film. The Onion posted:“How does this trash even get made?” said Katherine Hubbard, a mother of three from Rockford, IL, who, after buying tickets for the Pixar film Inside Out, was incensed that her children had been exposed to original storytelling.
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Oct 20, 2015 18:05
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Robert Denby posted:MPAA Adds New Rating To Warn Audiences Of Films Not Based On Existing Works I watched The Kids are Alright like a day or two after I saw the Avengers so I was looking for the Hulk too.
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Oct 20, 2015 23:45
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I brought this up over the summer, but does anyone know what's going on with LiterallyUnbelievable? It hasn't updated in almost 2 months and it was pretty sporadic for months even before that
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Oct 21, 2015 02:47
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I found it extremely hard to not become the next great daredevil. I think the last 12 choices all are winners.
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Oct 21, 2015 03:45
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The Onion explains Goon cuisine. Depression, Strained Finances Combine Forces To Produce Grotesque Culinary Abomination
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Oct 21, 2015 04:19
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Lucky To Be Alive: Harrison Ford Ate A Chili Pepper So Hot His Head Turned Into A Nuclear Explosion I thought the first one was a dud, but the series of cartoonishly exaggerated mishaps befalling Harrison Ford is quickly becoming my favorite after the fire truck videos.
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Oct 21, 2015 15:41
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Government To Confiscate One Person’s Guns Just To Make Rest Of Them Squirm
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Oct 21, 2015 18:47
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