PUGGERNAUT posted:

Fathis Munk posted:

Wow this is so so bad. Completely unbelievable, terrible "witty" writing style, complete lack of understanding of the world.

10/10 good find.

Positronbob posted:

It's better than the rest of queensland. I guess?

Khazar-khum posted:

Candy

Coleridge49 posted:

As a Brisbane resident I wholeheartedly say, gently caress BRISBANE!

Na'at posted:

How did the AUG thread get gassed but this one is still going strong after the previous 900 pages of "ZOMG Albert Einstein Lol guys"

Khazar-khum posted:

Candy

PUGGERNAUT posted:

Dad(Angrily): I am not buying a new car. Maybe you can ask your mom to do that. Oh wait, she would rather spend her money on a vacation to Italy and NOT take her daughter!

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

God, I love the sandcastle-kicking that closing those threads has inspired.

WAAAAH YOU CLOSED THOSE THREADS I LIKED THESE ONES ARE BAD CLOSE THESE TOO

Pththya-lyi posted:

It's really immature for a divorced parent to try and drive a wedge between their child and their ex. Children of divorce already experience enough turmoil, they shouldn't have to be forced to choose sides. The ex is a co-parent to your child and you should not try to compete for your child's love with them. Hell, your kid will probably try to turn the competition in her favor by encouraging you and your ex to bribe her with gifts and privileges (which is exactly what the Spoiled Brat is doing)! I hope that Imaginary Dad will read these tips for divorcing parents.

Na'at posted:

Just asked a question. But go ahead and fill in the deets you want you god fearing, ACLU professor punching Marine you

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

"Actually," I said, without missing a beat, "he was an atheist, too."

You and I have been married for sixteen years next month

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

"Actually," I said, without missing a beat, "he was an atheist, too."

You and I have been married for sixteen years next month

quote:

Pet Hate
PET STORE | AZ, USA | CRAZY REQUESTS, PETS & ANIMALS
(I work in a local branch of a pet supply store, and one day at the end of my shift a women comes in, and slams her purse down on the counter.)

Customer: “You don’t have [Product]! This is unacceptable!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Unfortunately that’s due to the supplier and—”

Customer: “If they die I’m blaming you!”

Coworker: “You would certainly be able to find some at [Other Pet Store, not too far away].”

Customer: “I don’t want to go to f****** [Other Pet Store]! I’m going to sue you!” *throws her empty container at my coworker, then storms out*

Coworker: “Well. First customer of the day. It’s gonna be a good one…”

Me: “Here, have some candy.”

Samizdata posted:

Wait, I thought you and I were married after that time I worked at the restaurant and explained to the stupid customer they can't get a cake well done!

sweeperbravo posted:

One day at the end of my shift there was the first customer of the day

ibntumart posted:

A Classy Ghost posted:

I mean really

ibntumart posted:

quote:

Teacher The Terrible
HIGH SCHOOL | PA, USA | BIZARRE/SILLY, TEACHERS
(Our geometry teacher is known for tolerating some behavior that would normally get students sent to the office, and for getting angry over things most teachers would tolerate.)

Teacher: “[Student #1], everything you do is wonderful.”

Student #2: “While everything YOU do is terrible.”

(The class goes quiet. No one is ever sure how our teacher will react.)

Student #3: *whispering* “You do know he grades your papers?”

Teacher: *menacingly to Student #2* “I hope your dog pees on your bed tonight.”

Noyemi K posted:

TIFU is largely comically made-up stories, much like greentext. I guarantee you the writer didn't expect anyone to believe this.

Joey Freshwater posted:

What's the point?

Noyemi K posted:

beats me. I'm sure originally it was to share stories of massive fuckups but turned into greentext over time.

goose fleet posted:

Noyemi K posted:

TIFU is largely comically made-up stories, much like greentext. I guarantee you the writer didn't expect anyone to believe this.

subpar anachronism posted:

Didn't this actually happen? I mean they even identified the other kid in the story and spoke to him.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/trending/mom-s-thank-you-letter-to-stranger-who-taught-her-daughter-to-skateboard-goes-viral-1.3282915

Wizard of Smart posted:

That's a nice story

The Goatfather posted:

I was drinking with a buddy of mine at this dive bar on the other side of the city in a bad part of town and a couple of the regulars kept talking about the “sex maze” next door. I had never heard of anything like that before- so I asked. Apparently next door was this gay cruising club that took the form of a big maze. Even weirder: The club paid guys to dress up as a “sex minotaurs” and chase dudes around the maze. They kept joking that if you got caught you had to suck the minotaur's dick. When I heard all this my jaw dropped, it was the most insane thing I've ever heard and I am into some weird sex poo poo.

We kept joking about it over the course of the night and the riffing eventually turned into talking about going in there. Once we got sufficiently drunk, it was decided. We went in. The lobby was really nondescript, but had a drab and kind of sinister quality to it. It looked like the waiting room for a doctor's office except there were no magazines and it looked it hadn't been cleaned in ages. There were even dim florescent lights overhead. There was a guy behind bulletproof glass to the side and straight ahead was a normal looking door with an electronic lock that we guessed was the entrance.

We stumbled up to the counter and asked the guy how much to get in. He said because it was our first time it was free, but we had to sign some forms first. We were shocked that it was free, but also kind of happy that we didn't have to pay to get in since we were just doing this for the story. The forms looked like typical “don't sue us” bullshit and we signed pretty quickly. I had no idea what I was getting into when I signed those forms.

The guy wasn't enthused with two giddy drunk straight guys trying to get into his “SECRET GAY MAZE.” He didn't seem annoyed exactly... just vacant. It was weird.

When we finished signing he took the forms, looked them over and hit a button and we heard the door lock unclick. We took his silence as consent to go in.

The first thing we noticed was how dark it was. It wasn't pitch black, but the only lighting was by way of a streak of glow in the dark red smears along the walls of the maze. The second thing we noticed was the screaming. It was loud, terrifying, and it never stopped. We immediately tried to go back but the door was locked. Then we heard the wail of the minotaur. It was a beastly thing. Definitely not something that could be made by a human being. What had previously been a joke was now very real and terrifying. Whatever we were involved with was more hosed up than we had imaged. We decided we needed to find a way out of the maze and fast. Every minute or so we heard the minotaur's cries getting closer. We kept running until we hit a dead end.

We felt the minotaur before we heard him. We saw the dim outline of a huge, muscular naked man with the head of a bull as he approached us. We were scared out of our minds. He got close enough that we felt and heard his heavy animal breathing. We were able to make out that the bull head was just a cartoonish mask, which was even scarier. The only thing he had to do was make a gesture and we knew exactly what he wanted. We were going to have to suck his dick.

And we did. It was terrifying. The screaming never stopped. When we finished he just grunted and walked away. We eventually found our way out of the maze and immediately called the cops. It turned out that the entire experience was planned out from the beginning and we agreed to it when we signed the forms. It's a way for super kinky gay men to pay for some kind of horrific sexual experience. The part where we sucked his dick was actually supposed to be the “climax” of the experience.

It was traumatic for a while but we eventually decided it wasn't as big of a deal as we thought. We were looking for a story after all, it just turned out to be way crazier than we thought.