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Good: Rez - Any points it loses for being on the ancient PS2 system it more than makes up for with the vibrator that apparently comes with it. Basically like buying a porno on VHS tape only it comes with a vibrator. Bad: Call of Duty Modern Warefare - Even if you could see your character's butt in this game it would always be a dude's butt since this game is the ultimate in sausage fests. Fail: Sim City - What more is there to say really about the game which is infamous for its DRM that gave the whole gaming industry blue balls, and another kind of blue balls as well.
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Oct 26, 2015 19:09
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| # ? Jun 9, 2024 17:54 |
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If you're masturbating only the PC master race can truly offer you the depraved cartoon gaming your genitals desire.
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Oct 26, 2015 19:12
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i just jo on the internet op
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Oct 26, 2015 19:14
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porntipguzzardo
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Oct 26, 2015 20:10
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Good: All the PSP Vita games with weird Japanese sounding titles with made up words in them probably - I don't have a Vita and I haven't played any of these games but if there is one thing the Japs know besides video games it is masturbation so I am going to assume that these are like the chocolate and peanut butter to people who are into this kind of thing. Bad: Q*Bert - Despite the titular character's best efforts at talking dirty, it doesn't seem likely that this notoriously difficult game will do anything good for your frustration level sexually or otherwise. Fail: Street Fighter - Plays like total rear end garbage for cheese dicks on a KB+M which as any hard core gamer will tell you is the only way to cum.
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Oct 26, 2015 20:38
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Good: Bayonetta. Magical babe w. taut butt does sexy poses and wears outfits. Bad: Planetary Annihilation. Unless you've got a hard on for military hardware, your only option for fanservice is putting two planets close to each other so they look like boobs. Fail: Act of Aggression. Just a poo poo game on every level.
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Oct 26, 2015 21:03
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I was going to do that one next but I will just settle for saying Fact of Fagsession
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Oct 26, 2015 21:15
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The Good: Dragon's Crown. There's a big booby sorceress in it. I've never played, but the sorceress has really huge tits. Also there's a barbarian girl in it and she's totes naked and you can even see her asscrack! The Bad: Skullgirls. Takes the sexy idea of an all girl fighting game and ruins it by making the girls all zany and having weird bondage fetish stuff and other shameful kinks. The Fail: Achron. Tiny units that all look alike, terrible animation, clumsy controls, and just general poor implementation of what was a promising game mechanic.
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Oct 26, 2015 21:49
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The Good: Super Time Force Ultra. The sniper chick is way hot, as are several other girl characters. The Bad: Wolfenstein III: The New Order. A solid FPS with excellent art, an engaging storyline and solid gameplay. Unfortunately, also a missed opportunity to see some sexy chicks with big boobs in skimpy SS inspired uniforms. The Fail: The Talos Principle. OMG so boriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!
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Oct 26, 2015 21:59
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Uh, how do I subscribe to an user's RSS feed Asking for a very horny frined
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Oct 26, 2015 22:01
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wasn't there a goon who once bragged about how his gf gave him a blowjob while he played ff7?
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Oct 26, 2015 22:02
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The Good: Dragon's Lair-  The Bad: Fez- This atmospheric platform jumper has some nice environments, but ultimately feels lonely and pointless, not least because there are no sexy babes in it whatsoever. The Fail: Endless Space- This GalCiv wannabe suffers from a steep learning curve, a lack of intuitive controls, a boring battle system and a lackluster soundtrack.
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Oct 26, 2015 22:07
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Protip: to find the best games with hot babes, watch Feminist Frequency and buy the games Anita Sarkeesian hates the most.
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Oct 26, 2015 22:08
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i tried to jerk it to the Prince of Persia reboot on ps3 but there were so many loving jump puzzles i couldn't get a hand free for more than a second or two (LOL ya boys it takes a little longer than that!)
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Oct 26, 2015 22:10
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good: goldeneye, bc no matter what you r "preference" baron samedi and female helicopter pilot are at the right height!
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Oct 26, 2015 22:11
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the trump tutelage posted:porntipguzzardo aaaaaaaahhh nerdy day camp memories edit: i thought it was porntipSguzzardo though YeahTubaMike fucked around with this message at 22:38 on Oct 26, 2015 |
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Oct 26, 2015 22:31
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tomb raider 2 man remember those bomb pyramid titties
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Oct 26, 2015 22:38
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Good: Goldeneye: you can get real up close to those Xenia Onatopp titties in multiplayer Bad: Banjo Kazooie: You gotta lose so you can see sexy rear end Grunhilda Fail:The girl is like sixteen or something. Gross.
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Oct 26, 2015 22:47
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Good: Tomb Raider - I hope you like titties because this game has got them for days and is so well known for being hot that people have been trying to find out the secret code to make the Tomb Raider naked as long as the game has been around. Bad: Starfox - It's just a bunch of shapes floating around, maybe you could get into this if you are a liberal arts degree type who is into hairy women and shapes but who has time for that. Fail: Hearthstone - These aren't your grandad's sexy cards that he had back in the day, these are just fake cards with World of Warcraft stuff on them so for every volumptuous blood elf babe there are like 40 dudes that look like the singer for Cannibal Corpse and the cards come out of the deck pretty much at random so good luck.
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Oct 26, 2015 22:48
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Good: Sonic
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Oct 26, 2015 22:48
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Good: Crypt of the Necrodancer- not much in the way of cheesecake or beefcake (though there is some of both) but it does have the benefit of being playable with only one hand and that goes a long way. Bad: mario kart. Princess Peach and Daisy are sorta hot, but you don't get to see much of their bodies under those old timey dresses. Fail: Etherium- a mediocre, by the numbers RTS that dares nothing.
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Oct 27, 2015 00:06
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Applewhite posted:The Fail: Achron. Tiny units that all look alike, terrible animation, clumsy controls, and just general poor implementation of what was a promising game mechanic.
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Oct 27, 2015 00:09
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How would one categorize Skyrim with more mods than base files?
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Oct 27, 2015 00:14
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Kirby vore fetish anyone?
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Oct 27, 2015 00:20
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good: any other thread bad: this thread fail: not gassing this thread
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Oct 27, 2015 00:40
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Good: Whatever game that guy's avatar is from
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Oct 27, 2015 00:55
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the guys from cracked.com are masturbating to this thread
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Oct 27, 2015 01:09
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The Good: Dungeon of the Endless- There are several hot babes in it and their pixels jiggle nicely. The Bad: Mirror's Edge- A game with surprisingly few mirrors, thus making it impossible to see your hot character. The Fail: Cortex Command- Seriously what the hell is this poo poo?
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Oct 27, 2015 01:23
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Good: Hoyle Casino Games 2012. Michelle or Jessica? Why not both?  Bad: Hoyle Book of Games Vol. 3. The first time they had Roger Wilco in it, it was okay. But in Vol. 3 he doesn't even try to escape. It's like some weird entrapment porn. Not my thing. Fail: Hoyle Casino Games 2012. The PC police ruin gaming yet again.
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Oct 27, 2015 01:32
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The Good: Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain - I don't think I need to say anything about this game and masturbation when you could look at any of the reviews by mainstream games journalists. The Bad: Metal Gear Online 3 - This one isn't bad so much as in limbo between good and fail until I can hopefully unlock an ability that will stop my team mates from shooting down the balloons that the enemy team attaches to me. The Fail: Meatl Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain: FOB - The FOB system in this game is everything its critics have hailed it as and worse, the option to casually obliterate other players' hard won progress in the game without risk or repercussion has led to extended sprees of publisher-sponsored griefing that have left little time for other forms of debased self gratification.
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Oct 27, 2015 01:43
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Good: Grim Fandango - Not only skeletons but even female ones. Mucho recommended. Bad: Dungeon Keeper - Despite what the names implied, very little serious roleplaying. At least has some skeletons. Fail: Day Z - Not only are there no skeletons at all, it even features their sell-out flesh-having cousins, zombies. No skele-thank you.
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Oct 27, 2015 02:01
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