TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I'm hear to speak sedately and chew bubblegum, and no I've never been paid to endorse bubblegum although it is such a great product that I'm actually all out of it

# ? Nov 3, 2015 12:43

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# ? May 27, 2024 20:03

the paradigm shift: Jan 18, 2006

pretend I quoted the Rosie gif

the paradigm shift fucked around with this message at 12:53 on Nov 3, 2015

# ? Nov 3, 2015 12:49

Fritz Coldcockin: Nov 7, 2005

Smoothrich posted:

I actually listened to a recent BBC radio program about the anti-vax movement, and they had a cultural anthropologist/social worker or something like that explain some of the research into the root causes of people not vaccinating their kids. There's a lack of trust between stupid web forum reading moms hearing about Big Pharma and doctors who dismiss all questions and criticism about the safety of vaccinations with "trust me, I'm a doctor" with zero acknowledgement of this growing paranoia that has very real consequences on public health.

It sounds like there is a consensus within the "medical community" to pander a little bit to this segment of the population by saying things like "its probably safe to wait a little bit for the last round of vaccines instead of doing them all at once" to appease the (left-wing) fringe anti-vaxxers who fear Big Pharma uses doctors like puppets to inject kids with autism out of corporate greed, because otherwise there are likely millions of adults who will not get their kids vaccinated at all. SO many people believe this, the mass hysteria went full blown in the UK a decade ago over MMR vaccines and measles/mumps resurged to endemic levels, with similar trends appearing in America nowadays following Wakefield around like a plague.

As the director of pediatrics of John Hopkins, Ben Carson was probably the one funding this kind of research in the first place. Since most of America is too unsophisticated to listen to BBC podcasts that actually help me stay informed on real things, I immediately understood Ben Carson was trying to "restore trust" with the wackos instead of bluntly rebuking them, which has been shown to make people trust vaccines and science even less.

Trying to pander to antivaxxers at all disqualifies him to be President, and in fact should disqualify him from practicing medicine.

And a guy who compares abortion and universal healthcare to slavery shouldn't be elected dog catcher.

# ? Nov 3, 2015 13:36

kitten emergency: Jan 13, 2008; get meow this wack-ass crystal prison

this election sucks. boosted's over there posting his heart out for trump but everyone keeps going for this new smoothrich gimmick and tbh it's not nearly as good as 2012 anywhere

bring back romney and ambassador arkane

# ? Nov 3, 2015 13:40

Third World Reagan: May 19, 2008; Imagine four 'mechs waiting in a queue. Time works the same way.

I thought arkane was the hunstman fan, the only one

# ? Nov 3, 2015 13:42

Fritz Coldcockin: Nov 7, 2005

uncurable mlady posted:

this election sucks. boosted's over there posting his heart out for trump but everyone keeps going for this new smoothrich gimmick and tbh it's not nearly as good as 2012 anywhere

bring back romney and ambassador arkane

Agreed. Arkane actually believed the dumb poo poo he was saying, so destroying his arguments was much more satisfying.

# ? Nov 3, 2015 13:43

A Neurotic Jew: Feb 17, 2012; by exmarx

Ben Carson is popular because ASMR videos haven't been discovered in the South yet, and they like the tingling sensations his opium soft voice brings to their head and scalp, and probably think it means Jesus is talking through him, hth.

# ? Nov 3, 2015 13:46

kitten emergency: Jan 13, 2008; get meow this wack-ass crystal prison

Third World Reggin posted:

I thought arkane was the hunstman fan, the only one

thats the joke, yes

# ? Nov 3, 2015 14:11

J. P. Beagley: Apr 11, 2008

We're all going to die.

quote:

Asked about handling the nation�s nuclear weapons - another insight into voters' views on foreign policy - 34 percent of Republicans said they would trust Trump. He trailed only Carson, with 39 percent saying they would trust Carson to have his finger on the proverbial button. Only 27 percent said they would trust Rubio.

http://news.yahoo.com/republicans-trust-trump-economy-nuclear-weapons-reuters-ipsos-110213564.html

# ? Nov 3, 2015 14:29

stuffed crust punk: Oct 8, 2004; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Patter Song posted:

"Marco, you aren't yet ready," Jeb sighed as he drew his katana. He was no longer young, and even unsheathing his blade required so much more of his energy than it used to. "The Blade of Chang is not a child's toy."

"You'll find I'm no longer a child, sensei," Rubio sneered. "The powers of Chang served you well once upon a time, but your day is over. I have a new sensei now, one who is teaching me powers beyond your wildest dreams."

"In Gronk's name, no, Marco!" Jeb gasped. He panted and gazed at his erstwhile apprentice's sweaty brow. Marco always had dehydrated quickly. Maybe he was still lacking in stamina. "You don't mean...The Donald?"

"That's right, Jeb. I agreed to teach him the secrets of the high energy art if he would get you out of the race...permanently. How's that for the Art of the Deal?" Trump emerged from the shadows. "You'll find your pupil no longer dehydrates quite as quickly."

Jeb closed his eyes and thought. This wasn't good, but he still had one final hope: perhaps Marco had not yet figured out how to unleash the Blade of Chang's true power, the secret passed down from generation to generation since 1975. The Blade of Chang had tasted the blood of Japanese, Communists, and perhaps many other peoples? Who knew what Chang had gotten into? He'd never really looked into it. The upshot is that under the right circumstances, the spirit of Chang would manifest and, unleashed from the confines of the sword, strike a mighty blow for conservative principles. If Rubio had not yet figured out how to unleash Chang, he might still have a shot.

Jeb drew his wakizashi, the smaller blade, and prepared to go for a two-bladed defensive style. If Rubio did not know about the power of the Blade of Chang, the wakizashi should be able to blunt Rubio's offensive moves. It was a gamble, but one Jeb would have to take. "I made the mistake of giving you the Blade of Chang, Marco, but like any mistake, Jeb can fix it!" he roared.

Marco Rubio grinned, held the Blade of Chang aloft, and spoke the magic word: "Kuomintang." Jeb cursed as the ground rumbled, the skies turned black, and a ghostly apparition seemed to rise out of the sword. It was Chang, or rather, Chiang, and his presence meant one thing: Jeb's luck had run out.

Would watch this movie

# ? Nov 3, 2015 14:32

Zelder: Jan 4, 2012

Oiled and Ready posted:

Look 1) can't stop laughing at people telling me to calm down when defending smoothrich is the easiest way I've ever gotten people riled people up and

2) you all quit reading his posts too early, i mean come on, we're at peak smoothrich - just read his last post and tell me that poo poo isn't quality posting

e: I wish thread titles were long enough we could have "a catatonic Jeb dreams of a reality where he still had the Sword of Chang at his side.. and who would want to wake him?" as the header. Also, just gonna preempt the first response of just 2 quote bubbles of "smoothrich" and "quality posting" because clearly smoothrich is surging

I'm gonna stuff you in a locker you nerd

# ? Nov 3, 2015 14:51

Boosted_C5: Feb 16, 2008; Can't post for 5 years!; Grimey Drawer

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!

One poll with Carson in the lead is fine, but multiple polls???

YOU'VE HAD YOUR FUN EVANGELICALS. It's time to get serious now and get back on board the Trump train.

DON'T SCREW THIS UP

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:08

Third World Reagan: May 19, 2008; Imagine four 'mechs waiting in a queue. Time works the same way.

it looks like a lot of those carson supporters were walker fans

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:11

blue squares: Sep 28, 2007

Boosted_C5 posted:

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!

One poll with Carson in the lead is fine, but multiple polls???

YOU'VE HAD YOUR FUN EVANGELICALS. It's time to get serious now and get back on board the Trump train.

DON'T SCREW THIS UP

agreed

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:11

Boosted_C5: Feb 16, 2008; Can't post for 5 years!; Grimey Drawer

This Wall-Street Journal Poll cannot be trusted. 400 respondents, are you kidding me? Not to mention the fact that it's the WALL-STREET journal. Of course they want to take down Trump, Hillary is their candidate of choice.

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:12

Boosted_C5: Feb 16, 2008; Can't post for 5 years!; Grimey Drawer

These polls are skewed. This is bull-poo poo.

I know now what I must do.

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:12

Necc0: Jun 30, 2005; by exmarx; Broken Cake

Reminder that Carson is a medical doctor who endorsed torture during the first debate.

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:13

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

I would wonder if he opens his patient consults with his raving bullshit like "when god created our brains 6,000 years ago..."

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:14

Oiled and Ready: Oct 11, 2004; He wished it could be as respectable and orthodox as spying. But somehow in his hands the traditional tools and attitudes were always employed toward mean ends: cloak for a laundry sack, dagger to peel potatoes, dossiers to fill up dead Sunday afternoons ...

Zelder posted:

I'm gonna stuff you in a locker you nerd

all of your posts for the past several months are about how everything in the world is racist, why don't you lighten up

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:17

Necc0: Jun 30, 2005; by exmarx; Broken Cake

Third World Reggin posted:

it looks like a lot of those carson supporters were walker fans

lmao that's not at all what the Koch bros. planned

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:17

Smoothrich: Nov 8, 2009; Can't post for 2 years!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7dFMbubxr4

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:18

Thump!: Nov 25, 2007; Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!

Boosted_C5 posted:

These polls are skewed. This is bull-poo poo.

I know now what I must do.

You're the only constant on these forums and the only thing I trust as true, Boosted.

Gimme some of that sweet sweet unskewering.

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:20

Patter Song: Mar 26, 2010; Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.; Fun Shoe

Boosted_C5 posted:

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!

One poll with Carson in the lead is fine, but multiple polls???

YOU'VE HAD YOUR FUN EVANGELICALS. It's time to get serious now and get back on board the Trump train.

DON'T SCREW THIS UP

Hey, it's worth pointing out that Rubio is actually down in that poll.

At this point, Trump and Carson in close race, all others lag far behind is a fine narrative. It may force Trump to get serious and make ads, which I'm looking forward to.

It'll be interesting to see when Rubio and Cruz make their big pushes. Rubio is keeping his powder dry for big push, but when will that be?

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:22

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Speaking of Breitbart, they are turning on Rubio.

http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2015/11/02/kiss-of-death-billionaire-who-funded-gay-marriage-endorses-rubio/

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:29

Sir Tonk: Apr 18, 2006; Young Orc

Trump endorsed Rubio? :confused:

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:29

Sephiroth_IRA: Mar 31, 2010

Patter Song posted:

"Marco, you aren't yet ready," Jeb sighed as he drew his katana. He was no longer young, and even unsheathing his blade required so much more of his energy than it used to. "The Blade of Chang is not a child's toy."

"You'll find I'm no longer a child, sensei," Rubio sneered. "The powers of Chang served you well once upon a time, but your day is over. I have a new sensei now, one who is teaching me powers beyond your wildest dreams."

"In Gronk's name, no, Marco!" Jeb gasped. He panted and gazed at his erstwhile apprentice's sweaty brow. Marco always had dehydrated quickly. Maybe he was still lacking in stamina. "You don't mean...The Donald?"

"That's right, Jeb. I agreed to teach him the secrets of the high energy art if he would get you out of the race...permanently. How's that for the Art of the Deal?" Trump emerged from the shadows. "You'll find your pupil no longer dehydrates quite as quickly."

Jeb closed his eyes and thought. This wasn't good, but he still had one final hope: perhaps Marco had not yet figured out how to unleash the Blade of Chang's true power, the secret passed down from generation to generation since 1975. The Blade of Chang had tasted the blood of Japanese, Communists, and perhaps many other peoples? Who knew what Chang had gotten into? He'd never really looked into it. The upshot is that under the right circumstances, the spirit of Chang would manifest and, unleashed from the confines of the sword, strike a mighty blow for conservative principles. If Rubio had not yet figured out how to unleash Chang, he might still have a shot.

Jeb drew his wakizashi, the smaller blade, and prepared to go for a two-bladed defensive style. If Rubio did not know about the power of the Blade of Chang, the wakizashi should be able to blunt Rubio's offensive moves. It was a gamble, but one Jeb would have to take. "I made the mistake of giving you the Blade of Chang, Marco, but like any mistake, Jeb can fix it!" he roared.

Marco Rubio grinned, held the Blade of Chang aloft, and spoke the magic word: "Kuomintang." Jeb cursed as the ground rumbled, the skies turned black, and a ghostly apparition seemed to rise out of the sword. It was Chang, or rather, Chiang, and his presence meant one thing: Jeb's luck had run out.

Mas!

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:30

Sir Tonk: Apr 18, 2006; Young Orc

Has Carson started creating a campaign infrastructure yet, or is he still investing in trying to get more donations? Dude is less serious about his campaign than Cain was.

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:30

Fritz Coldcockin: Nov 7, 2005

Smoothrich posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7dFMbubxr4

Why, it's almost like having endless friendly media coverage inflates your polling numbers.

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:31

memy: Oct 15, 2011; by exmarx

Ben Carson doesn't want to be president

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:33

Aves Maria!: Jul 26, 2008; Maybe I'll drown

Gibberish posted:

Carson closed his eyes, sighing as his benzo prescription put him to sleep

Ftfy

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:35

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

zen death robot posted:

What is Ben Carson going to do if he actually starts winning primaries?

Become unelectable by saying reasonable and progressive things.

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:37

StealthArcher: Jan 10, 2010

Boosted_C5 posted:

These polls are skewed. This is bull-poo poo.

I know now what I must do.

It's official everyone.

The Campaign is on.

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:37

a.lo: Sep 12, 2009; Can't post for 6 hours!

zen death robot posted:

What is Ben Carson going to do if he actually starts winning primaries?

If he isn't excited now than just you wait till that happens

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:48

Zelder: Jan 4, 2012

Oiled and Ready posted:

all of your posts for the past several months are about how everything in the world is racist, why don't you lighten up

lol what about trump being in the lead would make me think about racism

I wonder

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:49

Zelder: Jan 4, 2012

it's because trump is going to make America great again

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:56

Smoothrich: Nov 8, 2009; Can't post for 2 years!

Zelder posted:

lol what about trump being in the lead would make me think about racism

I wonder

he's not, the black guy who grew up in the hood of Detroit stabbing people is in the lead of the GOP primary. what does that make you think about racism?

# ? Nov 3, 2015 15:58

SHY NUDIST GRRL: Feb 15, 2011; Communism will help more white people than anyone else. Any equal measures unfairly provide less to minority populations just because there's less of them. Democracy is truly the tyranny of the mob.

Epic High Five posted:

Once Carson's numbers start dropping again Smoothrich will vanish again, just give it a few days

He'll start supporting Trump again

# ? Nov 3, 2015 16:09

Pener Kropoopkin: Jan 30, 2013

Smoothrich posted:

he's not, the black guy who grew up in the hood of Detroit stabbing people is in the lead of the GOP primary. what does that make you think about racism?

He's One of The Good Ones.

# ? Nov 3, 2015 16:13

Pener Kropoopkin: Jan 30, 2013

Naga Warlord posted:

We're all going to die.

http://news.yahoo.com/republicans-trust-trump-economy-nuclear-weapons-reuters-ipsos-110213564.html

It's refreshing to see a clear majority of Republicans admit that their own front runners should never be president.

# ? Nov 3, 2015 16:14

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# ? May 27, 2024 20:03

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

Smoothrich posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7dFMbubxr4

Polling a Republican against Clinton right now is useless seeing as Clinton isn't really actively campaigning for the General and getting very little press coverage while the Republicans are busy with their circus.

I mean of course Clinton is going to poll lower right now, she can't run against all of the Republican's insane platforms at the same time.

# ? Nov 3, 2015 16:19

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