Read about a new car? Thats the 2024 Giant Piece of Shit

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Read about a new car? Thats the 2024 Giant Piece of Shit

«‹›2061 »

CornHolio: May 20, 2001; Toilet Rascal

Kraftwerk posted:

If they make this car you will get it in an 8-Speed with the 5.7L Engine and AWD just as you have seen in the article. Dodge engineers probably designed that thing on a napkin over beer and wings. The 300C has AWD and the 5.7L as an option so you just transition that to a shorter wheelbase and add a few fenders, slight interior mods and some concave truck rims and you're good to go.

So yeah, another thing for the nice Tremec 6-speed to not go in.

Oh well.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 16:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 25, 2024 06:33

KillHour: Oct 28, 2007

Throatwarbler posted:

You know what else customers were demanding? Genesis is now its own brand and cars will follow a G[number] naming scheme.

http://jalopnik.com/hyundai-makes-the-genesis-brand-official-cars-will-get-1740446762

God loving damnit. Not another one.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 16:56

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

I think spinning Genesis off from Hyundai is good, but I don't want another Letter-Number naming scheme.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 17:12

Longpig Bard: Dec 29, 2004

Alphanumeric dumbness will make it easier for me to ignore.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 17:15

priznat: Jul 7, 2009; Let's get drunk and kiss each other all night.

I think we can all agree that Infiniti has the worst model naming scheme. So many Qs.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 17:18

Tahm Bwady: Aug 7, 2008; Its 1 thing to jump and be able to land on 2 feet but I had no idea I was landing in Heaven.Hope all is well on this good Friday

PT6A posted:

I think spinning Genesis off from Hyundai is good, but I don't want another Letter-Number naming scheme.

I'm in the same boat. New Hyundai can definitely compete with the Germans and I think Genesis is a really big step in getting there but letter+numbers naming systems are so overdone. Actually, now that I think about it, are there even any luxury manufacturers that don't use either the letter+number or acronyms?

# ? Nov 4, 2015 17:19

Fender Anarchist: May 20, 2009; Fender Anarchist

Tahm Bwady posted:

I'm in the same boat. New Hyundai can definitely compete with the Germans and I think Genesis is a really big step in getting there but letter+numbers naming systems are so overdone. Actually, now that I think about it, are there even any luxury manufacturers that don't use either the letter+number or acronyms?

I think at this point the closest thing is the Mercedes Black models (are they even still doing those?)

# ? Nov 4, 2015 17:26

PBCrunch: Jun 17, 2002; Lawrence Phillips Always #1 to Me

Tahm Bwady posted:

I'm in the same boat. New Hyundai can definitely compete with the Germans and I think Genesis is a really big step in getting there but letter+numbers naming systems are so overdone. Actually, now that I think about it, are there even any luxury manufacturers that don't use either the letter+number or acronyms?

Cadillac Escalade
Porsche (Numbered sports cars excepted)
Rolls-Royce

# ? Nov 4, 2015 17:36

Seat Safety Switch: May 27, 2008; MY RELIGION IS THE SMALL BLOCK V8 AND COMMANDMENTS ONE THROUGH TEN ARE NEVER LIFT.; Pillbug

So remember how VW had that problem with the cam follower breaking and keeping the high-pressure fuel pump from working on the 2.0T? And how they swore it was fixed after several revisions of updated cam followers, so they added the vacuum pump to the cam follower as well in MY2015?

Well, they just issued a stop sale for all 2015-16 1.8T and 2.0T VWs this morning in the USA, because the cam follower breaks.

It knocks a lobe off the camshaft, and not only fails the fuel pump but now the vacuum pump as well, so you have no power brakes as your engine undergoes rapid unplanned self-disassembly at highway speeds.

http://www.goapr.com/tsp/3f4b0448-abe5-496d-9c9f-17108ccf2271.pdf

I have to admit, it takes balls for VW to look at their terrible design and then go "we should add more critical components to that there cam follower."

Dedicated followers (har) of German engineering will also notice that Mini had a similar problem with their cam-driven vacuum pump on older Coopers.

Seat Safety Switch fucked around with this message at 17:51 on Nov 4, 2015

# ? Nov 4, 2015 17:49

Fender Anarchist: May 20, 2009; Fender Anarchist

so what's the vegas odds on VW still being around in a year

# ? Nov 4, 2015 18:00

Seat Safety Switch: May 27, 2008; MY RELIGION IS THE SMALL BLOCK V8 AND COMMANDMENTS ONE THROUGH TEN ARE NEVER LIFT.; Pillbug

From what I've read, the only car that VW dealerships in North America can sell right now is the Passat V6.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 18:04

The Prong Song: Sep 7, 2002; WHITE
DRIVES
MATTER

PT6A posted:

I think spinning Genesis off from Hyundai is good, but I don't want another Letter-Number naming scheme.

That makes it easier for buyers to determine which is better. "My H90 is better than your H70, of course!"

# ? Nov 4, 2015 18:07

fknlo: Jul 6, 2009; Fun Shoe

Seat Safety Switch posted:

From what I've read, the only car that VW dealerships in North America can sell right now is the Passat V6.

Just loving :lol:

a million times

# ? Nov 4, 2015 18:09

skipdogg: Nov 29, 2004; Resident SRT-4 Expert

I drive past Onion Creek VW in Austin a few times a week and they have a HUGE banner outside stating their hiring technicians and salespeople. I chuckle every time I see it.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 18:36

priznat: Jul 7, 2009; Let's get drunk and kiss each other all night.

Seat Safety Switch posted:

From what I've read, the only car that VW dealerships in North America can sell right now is the Passat V6.

Not the Touareg? (Unless this is considered "not a car"). I wonder if the new Tiguan was going to have that 2L engine too. :laffo:

vvv laff, are they bad? I didn't even consider them when I was car shopping because they were so spendy.

priznat fucked around with this message at 18:41 on Nov 4, 2015

# ? Nov 4, 2015 18:38

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

priznat posted:

Not the Touareg?

They couldn't sell those even without a stop-sale :rimshot:

# ? Nov 4, 2015 18:39

Seat Safety Switch: May 27, 2008; MY RELIGION IS THE SMALL BLOCK V8 AND COMMANDMENTS ONE THROUGH TEN ARE NEVER LIFT.; Pillbug

Hmm, Touareg should be fine too, if what I'm reading is correct.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 18:45

redgubbinz: May 1, 2007

I'm sure they've got a few Routans sitting around with flat spotted tires and enough varnish in the tank to get them parked out in front. Oh, and the e-Golf!

# ? Nov 4, 2015 18:49

F1DriverQuidenBerg: Jan 19, 2014

Seat Safety Switch posted:

From what I've read, the only car that VW dealerships in North America can sell right now is the Passat V6.

I thought this was a joke until I saw the latest recall. Holy gently caress VW is gonna go bankrupt.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 18:50

blugu64: Jul 17, 2006; Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?

Do they still sell the cc?

# ? Nov 4, 2015 18:52

TKIY: Nov 6, 2012; Grimey Drawer

I was told by my dealer that the next 'Genesis' will be a three row SUV to provide a step up from the Santa Fe. I'm looking forward to it, my 2015 sedan is an amazing car and my wife wants a bigger SUV for the dogs.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 19:48

Blame Pyrrhus: May 6, 2003; Me reaping: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.; Pillbug

Throatwarbler posted:

Sorry to interrupt the new cars you hate talk

http://truckyeah.jalopnik.com/the-kid-rock-concept-chevy-truck-is-basically-murica-t-1740290981

You can tell it's the "kid Rock" edition from the words "Kid Rock" stenciled in Times New Roman on the bed.

Seriously thought I clicked an Onion link for a sec.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 20:20

david_a: Apr 24, 2010; Megamarm

I'm still amazed that Kid Rock is a big enough thing in 2015 to get a garish special edition truck. Is he still a musician or did he turn into a "lifestyle brand" or something?

# ? Nov 4, 2015 21:07

Coredump: Dec 1, 2002

Remember when Porsche tried to buy VW and failed? Revenge.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 21:11

moon demon: Sep 11, 2001; of the moon, of the dream

david_a posted:

Is he still a musician or did he turn into a "lifestyle brand" or something?

Is there even a difference anymore?

# ? Nov 4, 2015 21:29

You Am I: May 20, 2001; Me @ your poasting

Enourmo posted:

so what's the vegas odds on VW still being around in a year

I hate to use the cliche "Too big to die" but I can't see the German Government allowing a company the size of VW just die.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 22:56

The Prong Song: Sep 7, 2002; WHITE
DRIVES
MATTER

You Am I posted:

I hate to use the cliche "Too big to die" but I can't see the German Government allowing a company the size of VW just die.

I can't see VW, a $202B international company, dying because they stop selling cars in the US.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 22:59

Fender Anarchist: May 20, 2009; Fender Anarchist

by "around" i clearly meant "in america" god dont you fuckers know The Rules by now

# ? Nov 4, 2015 23:07

ilkhan: Oct 7, 2004; I LOVE Musk and his pro-first-amendment ways. X is the future.

Sigma X posted:

I can't see VW, a $202B international company, dying because they stop selling cars in the US.

This poo poo is killing them internationally as well.

But yeah, it will put a beating on them, but won't kill them completely.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 23:29

Friar Zucchini: Aug 6, 2010

davebo posted:

If they're confident it can handle the 5.7 then it shouldn't be much trouble to add a V8 AWD option to the Charger if not the Challenger also.

Well I guess it was trouble enough, because they actually did offer a V8 AWD Charger and discontinued it for the 2015 redesign. Motor Trend says it was because it didn't sell well enough.

# ? Nov 4, 2015 23:43

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

Sigma X posted:

I can't see VW, a $202B international company, dying because they stop selling cars in the US.

The one financial thing put the damage estimate at around 73 billion dollars, and that was before it turned out their bigger diesels and all their gas engines were poo poo too.

I would imagine everybody's going to be pulled through this though. VW's engines weren't special enough for their cheating to be a one-off.

Just like with safety recalls, GM paid their fine and then it came out that honda was a pile of shitbags, and they paid their fine, and now it's chrysler's turn.

I mean, takata is still alive. if takata can live with blood on their hands, VW can live with soot on theirs.

davebo posted:

So the AWD system in that is the same one from the V6 300 and Charger? But they knew they couldn't use the 6.4L because it wouldn't handle the torque, which gives us a rough idea of it's breaking point. If they're confident it can handle the 5.7 then it shouldn't be much trouble to add a V8 AWD option to the Charger if not the Challenger also.

The AWD system is just the AWD version of the ZF transmission. the problem is that it requires the whole engine to be in front of the front axle, and the bigger V8s are still cast iron, giving it the weight distribution of an audi.

Powershift fucked around with this message at 23:50 on Nov 4, 2015

# ? Nov 4, 2015 23:47

dissss: Nov 10, 2007; I'm a terrible forums poster with terrible opinions.

Here's a cat fucking a squid.

Powershift posted:

I would imagine everybody's going to be pulled through this though. VW's engines weren't special enough for their cheating to be a one-off.

No but they were one of only a few manufacturers that claimed to meet the US standards

# ? Nov 5, 2015 00:21

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Powershift posted:

the bigger V8s are still cast iron, giving it the weight distribution of an audi.

Do any modern Hemis have aluminum blocks?

# ? Nov 5, 2015 00:27

Christobevii3: Jul 3, 2006

What engine is a hemi still? Real answer, no but they have an aftermarket aluminum block coming out soon.

Christobevii3 fucked around with this message at 00:45 on Nov 5, 2015

# ? Nov 5, 2015 00:42

Throatwarbler: Nov 17, 2008; by vyelkin

Powershift posted:

The one financial thing put the damage estimate at around 73 billion dollars, and that was before it turned out their bigger diesels and all their gas engines were poo poo too.

I would imagine everybody's going to be pulled through this though. VW's engines weren't special enough for their cheating to be a one-off.

Just like with safety recalls, GM paid their fine and then it came out that honda was a pile of shitbags, and they paid their fine, and now it's chrysler's turn.

I mean, takata is still alive. if takata can live with blood on their hands, VW can live with soot on theirs.

The AWD system is just the AWD version of the ZF transmission. the problem is that it requires the whole engine to be in front of the front axle, and the bigger V8s are still cast iron, giving it the weight distribution of an audi.

I'm sure its still bad for weight distribution but the whole engine isn't in front of the axle like an Audi.

http://www.autowp.ru/pictures/engines/maserati_3.0_v6_twin_turbo_2.jpg

Here's Bob Lutz

http://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/a27197/bob-lutz-vw-diesel-fiasco/

quote:

Ferdinand Pi�ch, the immensely powerful former chief of Volkswagen's supervisory board, is more than likely the root cause of the VW diesel-emissions scandal. Whether he specifically asked for, tacitly approved, or was even aware of the company's use of software to deliberately fudge EPA emissions testing is immaterial.

I sat next to him at an industry dinner in the Nineties, just after the fourth-generation Golf had debuted at the Frankfurt show. I told him, "I'd like to congratulate you on the new Golf. First of all, it's a nice-looking car, but God, those body fits!"

"Ah, you like those?"

"Yeah. I wish we could get close to that at Chrysler."

"I'll give you the recipe. I called all the body engineers, stamping people, manufacturing, and executives into my conference room. And I said, 'I am tired of all these lousy body fits. You have six weeks to achieve world-class body fits. I have all your names. If we do not have good body fits in six weeks, I will replace all of you. Thank you for your time today.' "

"That's how you did it?"

"Yes. And it worked."

It's what I call a reign of terror and a culture where performance was driven by fear and intimidation.

That's the way he ran everything. It's what I call a reign of terror and a culture where performance was driven by fear and intimidation. He just says, "You will sell diesels in the U.S., and you will not fail. Do it, or I'll find somebody who will." The guy was absolutely brutal.

I imagine that at some point, the VW engineering team said to Pi�ch, "We don't know how to pass the emissions test with the hardware we have." The reply, in that culture, most likely was, "You will pass! I demand it! Or I'll find someone who can do it!"

In these situations, your choice was immediate dismissal or find a way to pass the test and pay the consequences later. Human nature being what it is�if it's lose your job today for sure or lose your job maybe a year from now, we always pick maybe a year from now.

That management style gets short-term results, but it's a culture that's extremely dangerous. Look at dictators. Dictators invariably wind up destroying the very countries they thought their omniscience and omnipotence would make great. It's fast and it's efficient, but at huge risk.

This diesel fiasco is immeasurable in terms of damages�so much worse than Toyota acceleration, Ford Firestone tires, or GM ignition switches. In all those cases, tragically, people died, but it wasn't premeditated. You settle with the victims' families, pay the fine, put in the new parts, and for $1.5 billion, it can all be contained. But this Volkswagen mess is like the disaster that keeps on giving.

To make the cars legal in the U.S., VW will need to program them with the software that passes the test, in which case, performance is down and fuel consumption is up, and every VW TDI owner is part of a class-action suit against Volkswagen. To retrofit a urea system is basically a nonstarter, as it would require far too much change.

There is no easy fix. But you can probably rely on the German government to do what is necessary to pull Volkswagen out of this crisis.

In terms of marketing cars in the U.S., Volkswagen will need a radically new array of products that are much closer to mainstream American tastes than what it has. The whole Clean Diesel campaign, as the foundation of the VW brand, cannot be resurrected. It's history.

# ? Nov 5, 2015 01:10

Throatwarbler: Nov 17, 2008; by vyelkin

priznat posted:

vvv laff, are they bad? I didn't even consider them when I was car shopping because they were so spendy.

They're very similar to a Grand Cherokee - same transmission, available diesel engine, etc and prices around the same or slightly more expensive(there will be big incentives on both) , and the US market gets a 10* year 100k mile powertrain warranty. It's pretty comparable to the Land Rover discovery too, and lots of people buy Jeeps and Land Rovers.

Or I guess you could buy a 4Runner or Lexus GX/LC Prado, commute down a riverbed every day for 5 years, never have to fix anything, and then sell it for $4k less than what you paid for it new. But why be so boring?

# ? Nov 5, 2015 01:42

dissss: Nov 10, 2007; I'm a terrible forums poster with terrible opinions.

Here's a cat fucking a squid.

The Toureg doesn't look either very rugged or very distinctive. I think that's the main issue.

# ? Nov 5, 2015 01:45

priznat: Jul 7, 2009; Let's get drunk and kiss each other all night.

A German being a totalitarian dictator of a boss? What is this world coming to. :godwin:

# ? Nov 5, 2015 01:55

Giblet Plus!: Sep 14, 2004

Wheeee posted:

This is going back a page, but realtalk:

That Top Gear thing was a circus trick, any old mechanically simple and reasonably rugged vehicle could have "survived" that poo poo, none of that proved anything with regard to real reliability or durability. It's a bullshit comedy show. And just in case: "could" not "would", for our younger members.

That said, the Hilux really is one of the most dependable trucks being made, with one problem: The Tacoma has nothing to do with the Hilux on any level.

Globally, the Hilux is sold as a work truck, and it was designed wholly with that market in mind. It's not a plush American style daily driver truck, it's a miniature 2500 Heavy Duty and drives like one. The Tacoma was designed entirely for the North American market and is a very light duty lifestyle truck, engineered to tow a jet ski, haul a dirt bike, do mild off-roading, and require little maintenance. Tacomas are reliable but they aren't durable in the way that work trucks are, they're designed and sold as toys.

Regarding frame rust, that was a production problem with the supplier who builds the frames for Toyota not rust-proofing them properly. All truck frames are made from regular high carbon steel which doesn't resist rust like stainless steels, which is why every one you see is black: That's rust-proofing. Toyota had, and I believe still has, a program in place to replace these flawed frames when they appear.

Tacoma's frame is what they call triple-tech and is a hybrid boxed (Under the front) and C-channel (Middle through rear) frame. These frames are much more flexible than fully boxed, which can give a little more articulation if you're going crazy off-roading and saves weight. It's also part of why the Tacoma (And Tundra, which uses a similar design) ride like complete poo poo at high speed.

I'd never advise against buying a Tacoma, in fact I'd buy one over a new Colorado despite the Colorado being a better truck just due to the Toyota resale, but buy one knowing what you're getting. It'll be as or more reliable than any other truck on the road if you're using it as a daily driver that gets some use off-roading, but it's a lifestyle truck, not a work truck.

My dad has the Tacoma you're describing, he consistently overloads it and tows with it, and it's just fine. It literally is his work truck.

# ? Nov 5, 2015 02:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 25, 2024 06:33

heated game moment: Oct 30, 2003; Lipstick Apathy

Giblet Plus! posted:

My dad has the Tacoma you're describing, he consistently overloads it and tows with it, and it's just fine. It literally is his work truck.

you just don't get it man it's not a real work truck unless it's a 90hp diesel with a crate for a front seat that's owned by a South American peasant. No one in America does real work you see

# ? Nov 5, 2015 02:26

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Read about a new car? Thats the 2024 Giant Piece of Shit

«‹›2061 »