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Knyteguy posted:Same with the meal ideas. Thanks. We're trying to come up with a plan here. Shopping at the cheaper store is... a lot cheaper. I'm trying to figure out this whole planning thing, and not just for meals. Have you considered counter-offering for $500 but without the free expedited shipping? Would that work out for you? Also no offense but it took you how long to figure out about shopping at cheaper grocery stores? loving lol.
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Nov 10, 2015 20:55
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Horking Delight posted:Have you considered counter-offering for $500 but without the free expedited shipping? Would that work out for you? I just counter-offered that. I didn't realize I could modify any terms beyond the price. I went to free "standard shipping" @ $500 in the counter offer. Thanks I'll update later. The store is cheaper yes, but I didn't realize how much cheaper. It is a cluster gently caress of people, but I think it's worth it now. Meat started to go bad kinda quickly, but other than that it's great. I was in the process of replying to another post or two, but it's lunch time.
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Nov 10, 2015 21:06
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Offer accepted and sold. Gracias everyone involved. Got another update after lunch and some qs re the emergency fund.
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Nov 10, 2015 21:23
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Knyteguy posted:Therapy: Just put lots of calls out there to therapists (presumably your medical insurance has a database you can search), see who calls back and is accepting new patients, explain what you're hoping to get out of it, and eventually you'll find someone that works for you. In general, though, finding a therapist that you gel with can be a long process. Star War Sex Parrot fucked around with this message at 22:43 on Nov 10, 2015 |
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Nov 10, 2015 21:43
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What you are looking for is behaviour modification. SWSP has pointed out that it's you impulse control. Given that your tangible goals are financial it should give a therapist something to work with.
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Nov 10, 2015 22:35
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Star War Sex Parrot posted:I didn't chime in before, but I don't think that's really a thing. One of your issues seems to be general impulse control anyway; not necessarily restricted to financial decisions. Hm. Alright. We don't have our insurance cards yet as far as I know (could be in the mail), but I'll see what's going on with that from my wife. I believe we are insured however. I can't really check out the database until I have that stuff. I've been reading a lot lately, and I was thinking of picking one of these up: http://www.amazon.com/Marshmallow-Test-Self-Control-Engine-Success/dp/0316230863/ or http://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Works-Matters/dp/1583335080/ Devian666 posted:What you are looking for is behaviour modification. SWSP has pointed out that it's you impulse control. Given that your tangible goals are financial it should give a therapist something to work with. Right. I did try CBT before, and it made me happier, but he or I didn't really know what to say about the finances I think. Maybe I don't know if I know how to approach therapy, though. Do I just go in and say "hey here's me yada yada"? I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do or ask. Before I knew what I had to do, which was deal with a few deaths in the family and learn how to cope with my crazy mom (who is finally doing good again), but I don't really know how to approach a financial problem. I believe when speaking to my previous therapist that he didn't think I had too many problems financially, and maybe that's because I was approaching the situation incorrectly. I tried to make impulsive behavior and finances a very dominant part of our sessions. I'm willing to try out some more people though. Updates: Got another credit card. Kohls, $300 limit under my wife's name. We bought some clothes this weekend and I wanted the 25% off. Both the clothes shopping and the credit card were planned. That's the last credit until we can move to a good cash back rewards card for daily use. I'm guessing that will be a few years as we continue to rebuild our credit. I've paid off all but the Kohls (I need to get with my wife so I can setup the online stuff). None of the cards have annual fees. All purchases were reconciled against the budget already. I've been holding off putting extra money towards the car. I tried to set it up so I could do it through bill pay (just manage the extra payments online), but it's being a pain in the rear end and keeps changing my mailed check option to an electronic transfer. Unfortunately principal payments require me to go through a bunch of hoops. Question: We now have $1,600 available to us in credit should an emergency come up. This has been mentioned before way earlier in the thread: using credit cards as a last resort emergency fund. The current outlook is $3,200 in the emergency fund right now, which is deceptively low. We have about $3,500 for the following month's expenses saved as well. Assuming that's a valid envelope to count then we have $6700 liquid, plus $400 in our car and vet fund, plus just about $450 for an extra car payment that's saved, and finally $1,600 in credit. That's $9,150. Should be enough to stop contributing at the moment yeah? Or should we just keep going as we're going?
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Nov 10, 2015 23:02
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Star War Sex Parrot posted:I didn't chime in before, but I don't think that's really a thing. One of your issues seems to be general impulse control anyway; not necessarily restricted to financial decisions. I think it does exist, but it's definitely pretty new: http://www.financialtherapyassociation.org/search-by-state I would agree that lots of 'regular' therapists will be able to assist. I think that KG should consider seeing someone that is more on the 'life coaching' side of therapy instead of the talk it out side of things. In addition, I believe there are some addiction issues that need to be worked on as well. Edit: Question: We now have $1,600 available to us in credit should an emergency come up. This has been mentioned before way earlier in the thread: using credit cards as a last resort emergency fund. The current outlook is $3,200 in the emergency fund right now, which is deceptively low. We have about $3,500 for the following month's expenses saved as well. Assuming that's a valid envelope to count then we have $6700 liquid, plus $400 in our car and vet fund, plus just about $450 for an extra car payment that's saved, and finally $1,600 in credit. That's $9,150. Should be enough to stop contributing at the moment yeah? Or should we just keep going as we're going? If no money came in for the next 6 months, could you cover your living expenses without adding to debt? n8r fucked around with this message at 23:07 on Nov 10, 2015 |
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Nov 10, 2015 23:03
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n8r posted:I think it does exist, but it's definitely pretty new: Bolded: Unsure. I'll do some math.
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Nov 10, 2015 23:12
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The answer is no. Not really close either. I don't know what you could bare bones it to though but you say $3500 and have about $7000 available, 2 months I guess. The odds of both of you losing your job is probably pretty low though so you probably will be able to keep some income going at all times.
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Nov 10, 2015 23:26
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Knyteguy posted:Right. I did try CBT before, and it made me happier, but he or I didn't really know what to say about the finances I think. Your therapists opinion on your finances is unlikely to survive n8r's emergency fund question. You may have to take in some financial goals. 6 months emergency fund, save 10% of your gross income to invest. The emergency fund is a safety net and the saving rate links in with trying to control your spending. I am only giving you examples but setting a bigger goal and then using a therapist or life coach to achieve the small goals (controling impulse spending for example) to make this happen. Again I don't want you to get overloaded or stressed out and maybe you just need to set one important goal to start out.
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Nov 11, 2015 00:06
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Knyteguy posted:I've been reading a lot lately, and I was thinking of picking one of these up: http://www.amazon.com/Marshmallow-Test-Self-Control-Engine-Success/dp/0316230863/ or http://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Works-Matters/dp/1583335080/
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Nov 11, 2015 00:31
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Stop spending so much drat money.
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Nov 11, 2015 00:53
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*buys book to find out that the advice it contains is not to buy the book* You need a no cost hobby so that you have something other to do than shopping.
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Nov 11, 2015 01:28
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He has a drum set he can play for free. Unfortunately, his real hobby is spending money.
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Nov 11, 2015 01:59
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n8r posted:Stop spending so much drat money. Also, put the money you get from selling the Oculus into your savings. Edit: Also want to jump in on the bandwagon that's pointing out that you appear to be struggling with impulse control and that's what you should be looking to work on. Colin Mockery fucked around with this message at 02:49 on Nov 11, 2015 |
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Nov 11, 2015 02:39
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When I start to have impulse control issues I just bite down on my leather strap. Content: instead of buying those books you should go get them from the library. Another trick I do is put stuff on a wish list for thirty days before I buy it from Amazon. I usually don't feel that I really need to buy it once they timeline hits. This can work on anything with a paper list. If it can't wait 30 days you probably didn't need it even if it was "limited time" or "short sale". This also gives you some time to budget for it.
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Nov 11, 2015 02:54
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I think there are spending addiction / alcohol addiction issues. This stuff only gets fixed in therapy. The emergency fund question just sounds like another attempt at justifying another poor spending decision.
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Nov 11, 2015 03:25
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I think it's hilarious that the Oculus was bought way outside of the budget, and now selling it is being considered a windfall. Faaaaaaaaaaaaart.
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Nov 11, 2015 05:00
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Old Fart posted:I think it's hilarious that the Oculus was bought way outside of the budget, and now selling it is being considered a windfall. The old fashioned term is fiddling the books. That's all that's happening and why this thread needs to be closed.
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Nov 11, 2015 06:09
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I was all set to make a snarky reply, but for some reason I'm in a charitable mood: Knyteguy, your credit limit is not an 'emergency fund'. It's not uncommon for credit lines to be lowered or closed if your utilization and/or credit score drops. You also can't pay rent with a credit card, at least not without paying some hefty fees. For these reasons (among others) you can't count it. Being a month ahead is sort-of okay, but it's still not really emergency savings. Your emergency fund should be 6 months cash, or something else that's easily accessible.
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Nov 11, 2015 07:15
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Credit cards are perfectly fine as part of an emergency fund. Losing credit lines is rare and uncorrelated with most emergencies that would require an e-fund. Not being able to pay rent on it doesn't matter as rent isn't the only expense and money is fungible. Of course $9k isn't sufficient for KG no matter how it's denominated...
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Nov 11, 2015 13:52
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Not sure what you mean by 'perfectly fine', but a credit card is not the same as cash on hand, not even close. Everytime KG gets much in the way of money on hand, bad financial decisions soon follow. Not sure what is up with the whole car principle payment thing, but at every reasonable chance, KG should be overpaying on the car to get it paid off. KG, are you sure you can't just send them a check for more than the amount and it won't automatically apply to the balance? Not sure how it would work any other way than that. For now, the car can represent his emergency fund. If poo poo went south, he can sell the car, and access the additional money he's paid into it. Definitely not as ideal as having a real emergency fund, but better than buying Camaros, gaming PCs, and weight sets.
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Nov 11, 2015 14:52
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Holy poo poo, a credit card isn't an emergency fund, if it was I'd have a 2 year emergency fund from those and should invest this money I have in a worthless savings account.
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Nov 11, 2015 15:03
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Credit card emergency fund: Alright well it's been suggested in here before, but I thought it was worth a clarification.n8r posted:Everytime KG gets much in the way of money on hand, bad financial decisions soon follow. Not sure what is up with the whole car principle payment thing, but at every reasonable chance, KG should be overpaying on the car to get it paid off. KG, are you sure you can't just send them a check for more than the amount and it won't automatically apply to the balance? Not sure how it would work any other way than that. Car principal: I can just send them a check, but it requires a bunch of double checking to make sure I hit their requirements. If I send them just a check with an account number, then it treats it like I've made regular monthly payments in advance. It all goes towards the interest balance rather than the principal. I wouldn't be comfortable with the car being the entire emergency fund. That could be brutal. I don't want to spend more money on things by not contributing to the emergency fund as much; I want to allocate more towards debt pay down. n8r posted:Stop spending so much drat money. Thread summary.
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Nov 11, 2015 18:53
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Knyteguy posted:Car principal: I can just send them a check, but it requires a bunch of double checking to make sure I hit their requirements. If I send them just a check with an account number, then it treats it like I've made regular monthly payments in advance. It all goes towards the interest balance rather than the principal. I would not use the car as an emergency fund as well. I would encourage you to keep a limited amount of money on hand, and use principal payments on the car as a way to 'hide' money from yourself. The minute you start looking at your bank account and start thinking about other poo poo you can buy is the time to chop another chunk of money out of your account and putting it into the car. How is the therapist search going? I think you should set a deadline of the end of the month to have an appointment made with *someone*.
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Nov 11, 2015 20:47
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*I* would be comfortable with 1 month in an emergency fund plus 1 month ahead while you get out of 50k of debt. Maybe 2 months in efund, but that's about the limit. The biggest reason is because spare cash seems to convince you it's okay to spend more, which I understand. I've watched this with me in the past and many, many of my friends. I would really suggest finding something to do with your time, and a good therapist. Both will provide huge QOL improvements and a high ROA. SiGmA_X fucked around with this message at 20:59 on Nov 11, 2015 |
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Nov 11, 2015 20:47
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SiGmA_X posted:*I* would be comfortable with 1 month in an emergency fund plus 1 month ahead while you get out of 50k of debt. Maybe 2 months in efund, but that's about the limit. The biggest reason is because spare cash seems to convince you it's okay to spend more, which I understand. I've watched this with me in the past and many, many of my friends. I think that's good advice. I would add on that the 1 month emergency fund should be in a separate account that is not linked to the primary checking account, perhaps with no online access. Put up as many safeguards as possible as to not access easily when the next purchasing impulse comes up. The month ahead thing has been a really... flexible concept for KG, and he has shown a willingness to really game the numbers based upon what his purchasing whims for the month are. There are all sorts of tricks that we've suggested in the past to force KG to stay on budget, but I think the only thing that will really work is therapy.
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Nov 12, 2015 00:04
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Hey, KG, how goes the no smoking thing?
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Nov 12, 2015 00:10
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n8r posted:I think that's good advice. I would add on that the 1 month emergency fund should be in a separate account that is not linked to the primary checking account, perhaps with no online access. Put up as many safeguards as possible as to not access easily when the next purchasing impulse comes up. The month ahead thing has been a really... flexible concept for KG, and he has shown a willingness to really game the numbers based upon what his purchasing whims for the month are. There are all sorts of tricks that we've suggested in the past to force KG to stay on budget, but I think the only thing that will really work is therapy. Therapy is FTMFW. I really suggest it. For most anyone, but especially K&J.
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Nov 12, 2015 02:15
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foxatee posted:Hey, KG, how goes the no smoking thing? Still smoking. I'm not sure if willpower is a finite resource or not, but I haven't had the energy to get going on this yet. I'm also quitting drinking right now, working on finances, starting a workout regime with my wife, and working on some marriage stuff. I'll probably give it a real go Saturday. I'm confident I can get this all in time. In alcohol counseling about a decade ago I learned to slay "one dragon at a time" when working with substances, so I'm taking out the most destructive first. I don't drink a lot of alcohol in terms of volume, but it does have a negative effect on my life. More so than smoking. I like to spend money while drinking too, so yeah. It's hindering my goals if nothing else, so I don't really care about having a beer if that's the case. Plus my cousin and my mom are sober right now, and I want to show support and provide a good example. SiGmA_X posted:My savings went up drastically when I stopped using my CU for savings and started using ING Direct and then Ally! 3 days is plenty of lead time, especially when I'm a month ahead in my bill payment & checking accounts that I could use if needed, too. I saw you said you are an accountant in another thread. Does that mean you passed the test? Nice. I'm sure that comes with a hefty income boost. Yep yep I'll look into a therapist when we get our insurance cards. It's a fruitless search looking right now when I don't even know what provider we have. I'll talk to my wife, because I suspect something is up. I'll get a savings account. Ally seems like the popular one, so I'll probably go there. Goals for the month: Follow through on the stopping drinking. Stop smoking. Open a savings account to keep our emergency fund and savings goals there, destroy ATM card; wire to checking if we need the money. Prereq: talk to thread before wiring for any event. Get Kohls card on auto pay (we need the actual card which will be mailed). Find a therapist. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 17:09 on Nov 12, 2015 |
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Nov 12, 2015 16:58
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I don't have a response to most of that but I'll say that yes, willpower is a finite resource. You need to expend it to change bad habits and then once they aren't habits any more you can use the willpower on something else.
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Nov 12, 2015 17:25
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Bugamol posted:I'm waiting for him to buy a new computer. I'm almost certain it's coming. Due to simple timing he's going to have $4,000 sitting in the bank this month and it's going to burn a hole in his pocket. He's already made a few casual mentions that he needs to upgrade his rig. It will be followed by many "It's an investment!" "My last computer lasted 5 years!" "It's where I spend most of my free time!" Didn't realize you finally opened up this thread. Look - I was right, over a year ago, you finally saved up some money, it was burning a hole in your pocket, and you bought a computer. Except you didn't even try to justify it and instead just lied about it! [sarcasm]You're definitely making progress Knyteguy! Great job! Keep up the good work![/sarcasm] Hey your thread is also over 2 years old! Remember when you thought you'd have all your debt paid off and have saved $20k for a house downpayment in just 2 years? How's that coming along?
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Nov 12, 2015 17:39
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Bugamol posted:Didn't realize you finally opened up this thread. I really don't think this is a productive post at all. KG realizes that he's not met some of his goals, but he has made some measurable progress. KG: In addition to locating a therapist, I think you should consider seeking out a Psychiatrist, or a psychiatric midlevel provider - like a nurse practitioner/PA. You need to think about bringing on as much support from professionals as you possibly can. You clearly understand how to budget, but you've also clearly got mental/habits/etc things preventing you from making it happen.
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Nov 12, 2015 18:05
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Bugamol posted:Didn't realize you finally opened up this thread. Thanks for summing up this thread. Really puts it in perspective. Much respect to this Knyteguy for getting his poo poo together and working to better himself and his family's life.
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Nov 12, 2015 18:26
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Knyteguy posted:Still smoking. I'm not sure if willpower is a finite resource or not, but I haven't had the energy to get going on this yet. I'm also quitting drinking right now, working on finances, starting a workout regime with my wife, and working on some marriage stuff. I'll probably give it a real go Saturday. If there's one thing that will drain willpower, energy and create a lot of downtime it's drinking. I have a friend who drinks all the time and he hasn't been progressing any of his goals or improving his life. He can see that his drinking severely affects his life yet still hasn't done anything about it. If you can stop drinking you'll notice a considerable difference in your life.
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Nov 12, 2015 20:00
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What the hell is wrong with America that having 17.5 credit cards and two car loans is a normal thing. Maybe I'm financially naive but we have one credit card. It has a $5000 limit. That is all. It is very simple to manage because there is only one. Why do you need a billion different cards? This just enables you to spend more.
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Nov 12, 2015 20:41
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n8r posted:I really don't think this is a productive post at all. KG realizes that he's not met some of his goals, but he has made some measurable progress. To be fair. This thread is not productive at all. This is KG's second attempt at getting help on the forums. Him soliciting help on this forums dates back over 4 years at this point (his original thread was posted July 19th 2011). And in that time he's used the same excuses time and time again. I definitely feel bad from him, and have always hoped he'd get his poo poo together, but there's a point where it's just funny. I guess I'm sorry I offended you by not coming back and giving KG a warm hug after he lied to and hid spend from the thread for 3 months. Snapshot from 2011 for those who missed it last time! Knyteguy posted:Hello Goons, Bugamol fucked around with this message at 20:49 on Nov 12, 2015 |
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Nov 12, 2015 20:47
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Tamarillo posted:What the hell is wrong with America that having 17.5 credit cards and two car loans is a normal thing. Maybe I'm financially naive but we have one credit card. It has a $5000 limit. That is all. It is very simple to manage because there is only one. Why do you need a billion different cards? This just enables you to spend more. The way our credit is measured means that you don't want to ever have more than 30% of your credit card credit being used. but yeah, that much is weird.
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Nov 12, 2015 20:49
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And we have a terrible social safety net and pitiful wages. For some (a lot) of people credit cards = food on the table.
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Nov 12, 2015 20:56
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Bugamol posted:To be fair. This thread is not productive at all. This is KG's second attempt at getting help on the forums. Him soliciting help on this forums dates back over 4 years at this point (his original thread was posted July 19th 2011). And in that time he's used the same excuses time and time again. The only hope KG and Janus is to seek therapy and psychiatric treatments. No amount of posting on the internet or budgeting tricks will help him solve his financial issues.
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Nov 12, 2015 21:10
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