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hey, if this is his destiny, us stealing all that poo poo would be part of the prophecy too, so no harm, bro fowl
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Nov 12, 2015 14:13
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| # ? Jun 1, 2024 15:21 |
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Poland Spring posted:no harm, bro fowl 
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Nov 12, 2015 16:23
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Applewhite posted:Allow Mois to fulfill his destiny. While he is distracting the High Avian, steal all its stuff. This then if the High Avian annoys us we just eat him
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Nov 12, 2015 17:15
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Poland Spring posted:This guy is a Consultant, sort of like a scammer except you pay them to tell you things you already know This guy knows what's up. Here's the update: The last page complete:  CaptainSarcastic posted:Bring the ancient bird alien on board (but don't trust him or take him at his word - I think he may be a scammer), bring the Quadrilinium on board, and check for anything else of value. (This bird guy seems like he is playing a god-grift variant of some sort.) the_steve posted:Ask not what we can do for them, but ask what they can do for us. Applewhite posted:Allow Mois to fulfill his destiny. While he is distracting the High Avian, steal all its stuff. etc. Re: the synergizer - that's a different item from an expansion! This guy isn't...good. As we'll see. Moving on to 101:  And here's the card we pick up, pretty much the worst thing in the game:  I check to see who he starts glomming on to and it's the Weapons officer. He now has an EXPERTISE of 3 until the date progresses. Luckily there's nothing left to fight right this second. 552:  1. We need to make our final preparations to leave this sector (and indeed, the game). The only thing that might delay us is the weapons system being borked (and along with it the other starship upgrades). It's a 16-day job which Mois should be able to do in (or 3 if he attracts the attention of the Mentor) Do we want to commit the little energy we have to speeding up the jump at all, or healing the injured crew members, or should we hold onto it in case it's needed in the next sector? The cloacaing device will refill while we're in this jump and Crocmelia will return to her post during this time, for what it's worth. 2. Once we've decided on this, we also need to figure out what kind of stirring final speech we're giving. This will give us some bonuses or penalties in the next sector. Here's the manifest: 
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Nov 13, 2015 02:44
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Final Speech: Declare "CAIMAN 3:16 SAYS I JUST WHOOPED YOUR rear end" give a stone cold stunner to every crew member, flip everyone off, and start the self-destruct sequence.
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Nov 13, 2015 02:56
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Deliver a rousing speech, one which will help all of our crew prepare for the inevitable confrontation with the Threshers. One which will make our crew actually get off of their lazy asses for once in their lives.pathetic little tramp posted:Final Speech: Declare "CAIMAN 3:16 SAYS I JUST WHOOPED YOUR rear end" give a stone cold stunner to every crew member, flip everyone off, and start the self-destruct sequence. Also do this.
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Nov 13, 2015 03:03
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Sometimes it's a time for rousing words and speeches. But this is not one of those times. Sometimes it's a time where gifts should be given the men to honor their service. But this is not one of those times. Sometimes it's a time for heroic actions that inspire the men into greatness. But this is not one of those times. Sometimes it's a time for grabbing the nearest skink and eating it whole before giving a large belch and taking a nap. This is one of those times.
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Nov 13, 2015 03:10
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Are the Avians and their robots a reference to the Mentors from Norby the Mixed Up Robot? For the final speech: We're a long way from home. We've jumped way beyond the edge of the Caiman Empire, into uncharted space. Limited supplies, limited fuel. No allies, and now, no hope? Maybe it would have been better for us to have died quickly, back on the Caimania with our families, instead of dying out here slowly, in the emptiness of dark space. Where shall we go? What shall we do? I know where we shall go! The Void. The most guarded secret we have. The location was only known by the senior commanders of the fleet, and we dared not share it with the public. Not while there was a Thresher threat upon us. For now we have a refuge to go to. A refuge the Threshers know nothing about. It wasn't an easy journey. It was long, and arduous. But I promise you one thing: on the memory of those we left behind, we shall find it, and The Void shall become our new home. So say we all!
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Nov 13, 2015 03:53
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pathetic little tramp posted:Final Speech: Declare "CAIMAN 3:16 SAYS I JUST WHOOPED YOUR rear end" give a stone cold stunner to every crew member, flip everyone off, and start the self-destruct sequence.
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Nov 13, 2015 03:56
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pathetic little tramp posted:Final Speech: Declare "CAIMAN 3:16 SAYS I JUST WHOOPED YOUR rear end" give a stone cold stunner to every crew member, flip everyone off, and start the self-destruct sequence.
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Nov 13, 2015 04:56
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What? We're still Caiman, can't have a speech without mentioning the riches to be stolen in the undisturbed nebula.
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Nov 13, 2015 04:57
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cF4ZTcuhixc
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Nov 13, 2015 05:17
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My fellow Caimen, we're about to make our final jump. The most important thing to remember now is that I have first dibs on any loot we find on the other side. Get back to work!
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Nov 13, 2015 06:27
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My fellow Caimen, Assembled Freemen & Sexy Older Turtles: We are but one jump away from our target. However, it's entirely possible that The Sexless Threshers are, too. They've destroyed countless planets. They've ripped families apart, slaughtered numerous innocents, and seem to have a bloodlust that's nigh unquenchable. There's just one thing they haven't considered. So have we. Our Meson Beam has gotten quite the workout on this little adventure, slicing through planets like a hot knife through a valet. And, unlike the sexless threshers, we KNEW what we were doing! These things seem like mindless slugs...we were totally cool with just blowing away planet after planet, just because they annoyed us! We're such crazy assholes, our own computer turned against us, and we warped inside its mind and killed, it and installed a DEVO-loving robot that has made our lives much worse, JUST because it hosed with us! NOBODY FUCKS WITH THE CAIMEN EMPIRE! I'M THE KING OF THE CAIMEN EMPIRE NOW! BOW DOWN TO YOUR KING, AND LAVISH HIM WITH RICHES AND SEXUAL ATTENTION AS HE LEADS US ALL TOWARDS TOTAL VICTORY!!!
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Nov 13, 2015 06:59
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Asterios posted:My fellow Caimen, Assembled Freemen & Sexy Older Turtles: This. And spit some teeth into the air, because.
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Nov 13, 2015 07:46
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Heal everyone up. It's our last jump, so just save enough energy for our weapons. Give a Defiant speech: "gently caress those guys. And gently caress THOSE guys. And gently caress some of you too. gently caress everyone who isn't us, and gently caress anyone who thinks they're going to gently caress with us!"
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Nov 13, 2015 08:30
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Asterios posted:My fellow Caimen, Assembled Freemen & Sexy Older Turtles:
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Nov 13, 2015 09:58
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I wish we had used the Giant corpse as a diplomat once.
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Nov 13, 2015 10:24
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I would say to the crew, as I said to those who have joined this Government: "You have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat." You have reached the end. You have ran away in Kitalpha, you have ran way in space and on planets, you shall fight with decreasing confidence and decreasing strength in the air, you shall defend our ship, whatever the cost may be. You shall fight in the space, you shall fight on the landing grounds, you shall fight in the corridors and in the lido deck, you shall fight in the bridge; you shall never surrender. Do. Or do not. There is no try. So say we all!
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Nov 13, 2015 10:26
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There's not enough PowerPoint in these speeches.
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Nov 13, 2015 11:03
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Get the bird guru to help you write a rousing speech.
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Nov 13, 2015 11:26
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EvilTaytoMan posted:Get the bird guru to help you write a rousing speech. if it isn't clear from the card description that mentor is no help with anything.
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Nov 13, 2015 11:34
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These scrubs don't deserve anything inspirational, in Caimen culture one's true power is proportional to the boredom to which you can subject others. Deliver a tedious speech extolling our ancestry (20 generations should be sufficient), captaincy, and overall sneakiness. The accompanying slide-pack should use every available wipe.
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Nov 13, 2015 11:54
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Initiate repairs, and use a Caimanized version of the St. Crispin's Day speech from Henry V to rally the troops.
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Nov 13, 2015 12:07
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Asterios posted:My fellow Caimen, Assembled Freemen & Sexy Older Turtles:
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Nov 13, 2015 12:29
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Asterios posted:My fellow Caimen, Assembled Freemen & Sexy Older Turtles:
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Nov 13, 2015 13:04
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Nobody fucks with us, we're xenocidal space reptiles!
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Nov 13, 2015 13:23
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Asterios posted:My fellow Caimen, Assembled Freemen & Sexy Older Turtles: Time to end this poo poo 
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Nov 13, 2015 17:07
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We're more like this version of Steve Austin: http://i.imgur.com/swEPYDz.jpg
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Nov 13, 2015 17:32
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Got 5 votes for the Stone Cold Stunner (available because we're tyrants) 5 for a belligerent tirade 3 for the Classic Caiman with a promise of looting 1 for boring the hell out of your space scum crew and 1 for a vaguely inspirational speech. I'll check again soonish. Update will probably be a short one tonight as I have people coming into my house and staying there, but I believe this is the home stretch and in a couple of days we will have either won or died pathetically close to the goal.
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Nov 13, 2015 17:42
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belligerent tirade
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Nov 13, 2015 18:06
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Nov 13, 2015 18:19
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Always go for the unlocked option. STONE COLD STUNNER
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Nov 13, 2015 18:26
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Poland Spring posted:Always go for the unlocked option. STONE COLD STUNNER
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Nov 13, 2015 18:48
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Poland Spring posted:Always go for the unlocked option. STONE COLD STUNNER Save the stunner for the threshers
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Nov 13, 2015 20:02
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Belligerent tirade. We are gonna gently caress the threshers, find a planet in the void to crash on, rebuild our empire then continue screwing over every species we encounter. The problem is that will be a lot of work. My fellow caimens, which is greater, our bloodlust or our laziness?
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Nov 13, 2015 22:19
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Also to clarify I was voting for the belligerent tirade I just liked that Stone Cold GIF from 1848. Save the stunner for the threshers
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Nov 13, 2015 22:32
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Jenkem Delivery posted:Also to clarify I was voting for the belligerent tirade I just liked that Stone Cold GIF from 1848. Save the stunner for the threshers Our only option now may be for singles combat. If we were dealing with klingons we could challenge thier captain, winner take all. I wonder if threshers have honour.......
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Nov 13, 2015 23:25
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Tirade it is. Update soonish. If it's any consolation this book predates Steve Austin's professional wrestling career by a couple of years and the Stunner by almost a decade, so picking the stunner option wouldn't have been exactly the same as what was being asked for. It's pretty clear Austin read this book and took his entire persona from it though.
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Nov 14, 2015 00:00
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| # ? Jun 1, 2024 15:21 |
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I regret that we didn't find the Laser Sword. It was a worthless item that killed or maimed you more often than not, but it led to some amusing Game Overs.
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Nov 14, 2015 00:36
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