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Despite most of his books having no ending, I enjoyed Neal Stephenson's early output: Snow Crash, The Diamond Age, etc. I even thought his technothrillers were - while not great books - decent reading. But Cryptonomicon was where the smell started. Everyone was praising it, while I was plagued with the idea that it was much less than the sum of it's parts. And that some of the parts were very bad indeed: * Amy Shaftoe: barely has any personality or impact on the book. Exists only to develop a strange and unexplained attraction to schlubby computer programmer. * The heroes of this novel (in the modern day anyway) are basically looters and tax dodgers. * Digressions upon digressions. Which are fun and amusing but piled on so much that the plot disappears. * it's long, oh so long * Mysterious character Enoch Root pops up, acts enigmatic and disappears again. What? Anathem was long and dorky and silly (it largely uses the tropes of a Harry Potter story, with lots of made up words and a ninja fight scene thrown in) but was entertaining enough that I give it a pass. Reamde however: this is what I said elsewhere in the Book Barn: quote:Look, it's surprisingly readable page-to-page. You'll want to know what happens next. But Stephenson has basically reinvented the Robert Ludlum novel, except with a lot more digressions about MMOs.
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Nov 10, 2015 15:49
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outlier posted:Despite most of his books having no ending, I enjoyed Neal Stephenson's early output: Snow Crash, The Diamond Age, etc. I even thought his technothrillers were - while not great books - decent reading. I finished the whole of Cryptonomicon, but in retrospect, the scene where Stephenson has his stand-in totally pwn a stupid postmodern hipster who doesn't even science was a really bad sign.
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Nov 10, 2015 15:54
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I'm that guy still reading Stephenson books, it's me I'm enjoying Seveneves, but that says more about me than Stephenson's writing prowess. He's still spending multiple pages describing the exact workings of sci-fi machinery (the worst culprit was when he spent like ten pages describing how these plastic bubbles allowing people to live in space outside of a spaceship for a few weeks work and all I could do was skip ahead until he stopped because holy poo poo I don't care it is a plastic bubble) but I'm a sucker for worldbuilding and that's basically all the second half of Seveneves is. (it dragged p badly in the second quarter though) Also he's still horrible at writing romance subplots (it's telling that the best one he ever wrote was the one in Anathem which wasn't even good) and he still seems to have a fetish for laconic Russian badasses
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Nov 10, 2015 16:01
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While I'm dissing SF giants: William Gibson. Or, to be more specific, some of Gibson's books. I think even fans (and I'm one) will admit that he writes for effect and colour and that there's often a lot of nonsense rolling around in his books. The question is, does the nonsense distract you? Cue, the Blue Ant Trilogy: * Pattern Recognition: a cool hunter tries to track down the creator of a series of mysterious videos, her super-rich boss makes lots of portentous statement. Probably doesn't bear examination, but reads fairly well with lots of nice observations of people and places. * Spook Country: a cavalcade of diverse characters try to hunt down a mysterious shipping crate. Some of them don't even know what's in the crate but assume it must be valuable. Surprise - it's a million dollars. Arguably less than has been spent chasing the drat thing. Passable if irritating. * Zero History: an ex-rock star who is strangely like previous leads is sent by super-rich boss to hunt down a mysterious ... set of jeans. Seriously, WTF? And Gibson apparently got friends to send him descriptions of places in London, which explains why it seems to be set in some strange parallel not-quite London, complete with multiple "stared at their reflection in the burnished surface of the elevator".
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Nov 10, 2015 17:15
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I was hoping to do a writeup about this thriller which I found in a charity sale a few months ago and never got round to reading. Unfortunately it's proved too boring even for comedy as it's mostly just long screeds of missionary material. Excellent blurb caught my eye: It is terrible though! Apparently Israelis are all just waiting for a good Hebrew Christian to come and convert them to the real Jewish faith. I'll limit myself to pointing out that it starts with them killing a 12 year old Palestinian with a grenade and ends with a Hebrew Christian missionary kidnapping a character in her hotel room on the night of her wedding and refusing to let her out until she converts to Christ; both events presented totally uncritically of course. Apart from the first section it's remarkably even-handed towards Arabs and Palestinians, as long as they are vocal in their approval of Israel. Zola Levitt's other books include 'The Coming Russian Invasion' which sounds a lot more fun, but I'm not going out of my way to track that one down.
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Nov 10, 2015 21:13
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outlier posted:While I'm dissing SF giants: William Gibson. Re the last point, Pattern Recognition goes into the "mirror world" feel when travelling, where everything is not quite the same as your home country. Outlets are different, street signs use different fonts, etc. So it's porbably on purpose.
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Nov 11, 2015 11:47
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outlier posted:While I'm dissing SF giants: William Gibson. They weren't trying to get the money which was a billion I think, maybe more they were just trying to prevent it from being used to fund black ops because it was untraceable until they made it radioactive. RE: Stephenson, I read the entire baroque cycle and the thing that baffles me the most is how I had the time. Then again I'm rereading Red Mars which I think I read when I was 12 and I'm amazed I had the patience back then so maybe I'm just losing my attention span.
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Nov 12, 2015 01:41
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Gabriel Pope posted:This actually sounds pretty awesome, I want to spend a vacation standing around destroying yuppie marriages by proximity. You and me both.
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Nov 12, 2015 01:57
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I think I'll buy this.
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Nov 12, 2015 02:12
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bringmyfishback posted:I think I'll buy this. This thread is for terrible books, not works of art.
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Nov 12, 2015 03:18
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chuck tingle books are okay, and not terrible
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Nov 12, 2015 04:28
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bringmyfishback posted:I think I'll buy this. Uhh, be careful you don't end up living out: 
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Nov 12, 2015 05:00
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Tiberius Thyben posted:Uhh, be careful you don't end up living out: My boss is giving me quite a look for laughing so hard in the office. Thank you. God bless you, Chuck Tingle.
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Nov 12, 2015 09:42
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We need to go deeper SurreptitiousMuffin has a new favorite as of 10:22 on Nov 12, 2015 |
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Nov 12, 2015 10:13
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Chuck Tingle is a wonderful genius who has no place in this thread, but after bringing up Piers Anthony I feel like we need some more levity in the thread. Have some Best of Chuck Tingle.     
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Nov 12, 2015 10:21
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People like Chuck Tingle and the rear end Goblins of Auschwitz guy are just as bad as the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies guy. Calling them authors and the things they create books is giving them way too much credit.
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Nov 12, 2015 16:58
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:RE: Stephenson, I read the entire baroque cycle and the thing that baffles me the most is how I had the time. When I was reading these books in college my dad asked me what they were about and I could not answer that question for the life of me
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Nov 12, 2015 17:00
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Sleeveless posted:Calling them authors and the things they create books is giving them way too much credit. people who write books you dislike can still be authors these people on tumblr aren't: http://www.portlandmercury.com/BlogtownPDX/archives/2013/12/24/writer-says-you-have-to-write-to-be-a-writer-tumblr-gets-upset
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Nov 12, 2015 17:09
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The Saddest Rhino posted:people who write books you dislike can still be authors Are those the same people on Tumblr who got really mad when a professional author said that writers should read books?
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Nov 12, 2015 17:25
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Probably
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Nov 12, 2015 17:29
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The Saddest Rhino posted:people who write books you dislike can still be authors quote:So how about you fling open the stupid gates of your dumb categorizations of people and let writers be people who write as little or as much as they want to or are able, so long as it makes them whole and happy. Including those who write nothing. Tumblr: the very incarnation of Poe's Law.
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Nov 12, 2015 17:56
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This means that when I tell people at parties I'm an astronaut I'm not technically lying
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Nov 12, 2015 18:50
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loquacius posted:This means that when I tell people at parties I'm an astronaut I'm not technically lying Wow, guess I really was a doctor. I gotta call her back...
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Nov 12, 2015 22:23
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E: WRONG THREAD
Hemingway To Go! has a new favorite as of 23:09 on Nov 12, 2015 |
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Nov 12, 2015 23:06
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Timely Chuck Tingle quote:Former preacher turned viral video sensation, Jabua Fogstein, lives for the holidays; the sights, the smells, and especially the tastes. In fact, he’s so excited to trying out his favorite coffee, Starbutts Christmas blend, that he camps out overnight for the introduction of their brand new red holiday cups.
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Nov 13, 2015 01:33
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I love you all so much, and all of your butts, but let's not turn this into a derail about what's a real book and what isn't, or what makes something terrible or not. Also am really an astronaut irl spaceposting
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Nov 13, 2015 02:05
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plsd to meet u, im a rhino
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Nov 13, 2015 02:15
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im gay
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Nov 13, 2015 02:22
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I'm a scandalous wench.
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Nov 13, 2015 03:52
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I'm an enormous dumbass, an obscure side character from a popular fantasy series and a particularly large and ornery specimen of a small bird. I got every angle covered at parties.
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Nov 13, 2015 14:06
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Toast Museum posted:Timely Chuck Tingle 1_chuck_red_cups.avi
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Nov 13, 2015 19:37
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As a native of the Detroit area I grew up with Mitch Albom's newspaper columns, which are almost universally terrible. These days I still read them on my phone every Sunday just to laugh at him and then be sad that he makes a ton of money and wins awards cranking out schmaltzy, pointless garbage. I have never read any of his books (Tuesdays With Morrie, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, etc.), but his new one just came out and from the excerpt it looks like it's gonna be a doozy.quote:I have come to claim my prize. quote:It happened here, in Villareal, Spain, a city near the sea that was founded by a king more than seven centuries ago. I prefer to begin everything with a time signature, so let us set this as August 1936, in an erratic 6/5 tempo, for it was a bloody period in the country’s history. A civil war. Something whispered as El Terror Rojo — the Red Terror — was coming to these streets and, more specifically, to this church. Most of the priests and nuns had already fled to the countryside. This is a 512-page novel. I've never hate-read a book before but I might have to now.
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Nov 13, 2015 20:46
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Someone bringing up The Alchemist as inspirational is a cool and efficient way to know to disregard whatever comes out of their mouth.
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Nov 13, 2015 21:37
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Eighteen pages and no mention of Twisted? The most breathlessly, gloriously, sincerely enthusiastic werewolf-vampire-roller coaster love story you'll ever read? Unlike other 'weird book' authors (Carlton Mellick III, Chuck Tingle), Leek is invested in her subject matter, and it makes all the difference in the world. Leek's passion elevates the work. She loving loves anthro roller coasters. She wants you to love anthro roller coasters. Leek is the opposite of ironic. The writing is, as one of my friends put it, "a mix of sentences you've read in every young adult book, ever, and sentences you will never read anywhere else, ever." Leek also illustrated Twisted, and she's quite artistically competent (especially considering she made the book, as she says in her author's bio, "at the tender age of 17"). But no amount of artistry can make anthro roller coasters look not-goofy. In one character-defining scene, the protagonist clarifies that he is not a mere mortal roller coaster, "built to scare and thrill," rather, he is "built for combat and sorcery." At another point the werecoasterpire locks himself in a cake factory (as a roller coaster) and, in a fit of pique, eats all the cakes. I'll save you a summary of the romantic drama (go look it up yourself, it's worth the effort). However, I will say that the line "Our love is... forbidden! [...] A roller coaster cannot be in love with a human!" is wailed in the throes of crisis. During the final fight with the main bad guy ('Ironwheel,' the evil roller coaster ruler of an alternate dimension called 'Amusement Park Between' ), werecoasterpire gives a badass speech before administering the final blows: quote:“You know, when I first transformed into the creature that I am, I found out that I could smell fear. Ironwheel, you seem to have a great deal of it lingering from you.” I said calmly. “This is kind of like a student being punished by the principal. However it is not principal with the "pal” it should be the one spelled p-r-i-n-c-p-l-e. So, it is where the “student” is being punished by the principle of justice. Twisted is a magical intersection of niche interests, teen writing, and imagination. It's a national treasure. My other favorite 'terrible' book isn't a book so much as it is a whole series of books. Any prose published for White Wolf/Onyx Path's Vampire: the Masquerade franchise, especially between 1995 and 2001, is bound to be a grimdark edgy delight. The best example is probably Eternal Hearts, by Lucy Taylor. It's White Wolf-sanctioned erotica, starring NPCs from the metaplot. A character opens a locked door using his genital piercing and frankly that tells you all you need to know about the tone of the book. JollityFarm has a new favorite as of 02:38 on Nov 14, 2015 |
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Nov 14, 2015 02:29
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JollityFarm posted:Eighteen pages and no mention of Twisted? The most breathlessly, gloriously, sincerely enthusiastic werewolf-vampire-roller coaster love story you'll ever read? Guess what! http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3535471 If you haven't read that thread, I highly suggest you do.
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Nov 14, 2015 04:34
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JollityFarm posted:Eighteen pages and no mention of Twisted? The most breathlessly, gloriously, sincerely enthusiastic werewolf-vampire-roller coaster love story you'll ever read? Yeah, things always lose some of the marvel when the author seems too in on the joke. Twisted is one of those rare things that's 100% straight-faced so it turns into something transcendent. I'm always forgetting the name though. What does "Twisted" have to do with anything?
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Nov 14, 2015 05:55
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JollityFarm posted:Eighteen pages and no mention of Twisted? JollityFarm posted:White Wolf-sanctioned erotica  edit: mycot posted:I'm always forgetting the name though. What does "Twisted" have to do with anything?
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Nov 14, 2015 16:05
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Sham bam bamina! posted:Roller coasters twist and turn all over the place, and the protagonist is a twisted goddamn psycho. / 
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Nov 15, 2015 03:57
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...This is reminding of that woman who is in love with the Berlin Wall.
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Nov 15, 2015 18:58
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Rabbit Hill posted:...This is reminding of that woman who is in love with the Berlin Wall. I think you might be subconsciously mixing up that story with the woman who married a roller coaster. I know I am.
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Nov 15, 2015 20:02
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