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StupidSexyMothman
Aug 9, 2010

Hey I was acti-oh you bastards :argh:

Mornacale posted:

oldskool, I am still wondering about your Felix Hernandez. I offered HR Baker to give you some depth at 3B and I don't think you ever responded. I'm open to counteroffers, I'm just not sure what you want for one of your rando pitchers.

I think I'm keeping Felix, on the off chance I decide to go hog wild on a pitching theory I've been working on.

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Ice To Meet You
Mar 5, 2007

I'd like to announce that nobody is getting relegated, and we're all going out for a pizza party.

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

by exmarx
how am i not infuriating i bitch about my team and play dota and bitch about it in non dota related channels this poll sucks

Pungry
Feb 26, 2011

JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

Ice To Meet You posted:

I'd like to announce that nobody is getting relegated, and we're all going out for a pizza party.

Yes!!!! I will rename the Coldplayers if this is true.

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



tatankatonk posted:

1. Pander - Get The gently caress Outta Here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc4TnopiuzQ

Yaya
Nov 14, 2012

vancloober cablucks
Pick 'em: Finals!

Super-League XVII, Finals
Pick the Winner, Number of Games (Best of Seven), and score of Final Game.

The SOUTHPAWS have home-field advantage

Finals
RCMP vs. Chicago Southpaws in 5, 6-3

GVOLTT
Dec 27, 2012

Honestly, I don't know what I want to put here, so I'm going with this.

tatankatonk posted:

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's time for the first ever end-of-the-season Villainy Power Rankings! Who's been brushing up on their callousness? Who's rolled out a brand new personality to be spit upon? Who's too weak to deserve your enmity? Let's find out! All ratings determined by a proprietary formula, and definitely were not dictated from a damaged, sparking, and screaming CthulhuDreams
Where would I fit on this list? Granted, I was only in the EC this time around, but I have owned a couple of teams previously.

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


McFreeze please post the preshow soon.

tadashi
Feb 20, 2006

tatankatonk posted:

33. tadashi - Did I say Cardinals fans are the worst? I meant Cubs fans are the worst. You think I'm scared? Smasher has never read anything I've ever written here, and he sure as hell isn't going to start right now. Go Brewers

I thought about posting about the wonders of rural South Carolina every update but decided being a Cubs fan was annoying enough.

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa
Everyone in Pander's division give me your 4th round picks and I won't beat him like I intended to.

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


is lee smith available or is he still still a double picker

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

DannoMack posted:

Everyone in Pander's division give me your 4th round picks and I won't beat him like I intended to.

You're not exactly bargaining from a position of strength here with the Southpaws having the home field advantage and having torn the league apart this season.

Also, FairGame gave his fourth rounder to me, and mrnoun doesn't get one because the Symphony disbanded (EDIT: And even if he didn't do that, he would have gotten demoted instead, and we don't yet know who gets into the Senor Goodtimes division to replace the Symphony). So what you're saying is "mentholmoose give me your 4th round pick", and I think I can tell you that the response will probably involve something along the lines of "gently caress off".

TheMcD fucked around with this message at 02:31 on Nov 17, 2015

Pungry
Feb 26, 2011

JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.
Look I just want to survive and rename my team to the Greig Mad Ducks! Come on, please?

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa

HulkaMatt posted:

is lee smith available or is he still still a double picker

No, good reliever Lee Smith is worth more than two bad picks.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

DannoMack posted:

No, good reliever Lee Smith is worth more than two bad picks.

How do they say "Post your finals roster, you nerd" in Canadian? Do I also have to supply the phrase in French? Because I don't speak French.

That goes for you as well, Pander.

Ice To Meet You
Mar 5, 2007

HulkaMatt posted:

McFreeze please post the preshow soon.

Look I had to go back in, re-edit it so the video wasn't glitching out, and also dub the music in! Then the video has to render, too. Very time-consuming.

Anyway, check this in like 3 hours.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tC8oR1ILcWg

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

by exmarx

Smasher Dynamo posted:

How do they say "Post your finals roster, you nerd" in Canadian? Do I also have to supply the phrase in French? Because I don't speak French.

That goes for you as well, Pander.

postez-vous la liste, binoclard !!

(i think, i'm sure somoene actually speaks french as opposed to 'took classes in it a decade ago')

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



Smasher Dynamo posted:

How do they say "Post your finals roster, you nerd" in Canadian? Do I also have to supply the phrase in French? Because I don't speak French.

That goes for you as well, Pander.

Sorry, my wife JR Leap and I have been packing. Very busy. Working on it now.

(she gets a kick out of her character. She also says replace Supergirl with House of Cards and you have captured her perfectly)

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa

Smasher Dynamo posted:

How do they say "Post your finals roster, you nerd" in Canadian? Do I also have to supply the phrase in French? Because I don't speak French.

That goes for you as well, Pander.

I'm doing mine now, shouldn't take long seeing as I only have to do vs LHP

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



Do we have to use the players we specified in earlier rounds? Or can we replace them with players from the "minors"? Cause Goose Goslin is outta Gas and I think I should probably sub him out.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Pander posted:

Do we have to use the players we specified in earlier rounds? Or can we replace them with players from the "minors"? Cause Goose Goslin is outta Gas and I think I should probably sub him out.

You can swap players in from your minors.

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.





Finals Time. No big changes. I'll just trust my dudes to put it together.

DH LINEUP
code:
SS	George Davis
2B	Eddie Collins
DH	Dan Brouthers
RF	Paul Waner
CF	Ty Cobb
3B	Cecil Travis
LF	Goose Goslin
C	Deacon White
1B	Joe Judge
NO-DH LINEUP
code:
SS	George Davis
2B	Eddie Collins
1B	Dan Brouthers
RF	Paul Waner
CF	Ty Cobb
3B	Cecil Travis
C	Deacon White
LF	Goose Goslin
P	<pitcher>
BENCH
code:
C	Smoky Burgess
1B	Todd Helton
RF	Elmer Flick
IF	Ken Oberkfell
OF	Max Carey
ROTATION
code:
Clayton Kershaw
Sandy Koufax
Randy Johnson
Steve Carlton
BULLPEN
code:
CL Billy Wagner (healthy one)
SU Jesse Orosco
SR Sparky Lyle
SR Gary Lavelle
MR Chris Sale
LR Warren Spahn

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa


Okay, let's be honest, with home field advantage maybe the RCMP stood a chance. Now, we need the series to go 7, we need to sweep all three home games and we need to somehow pull out a win in that stupid stadium where guys like Gehrig and Ruth go to die. I'm really sorry Smasher, I know you're sick of the league right now and I'm sure you were sick of making major team changes by the third week, but this is my last chance to beat Pander. Once he's Machoed he'll have a new team with a new gimmick and the RCMP will always just be the Southpaws annoying little brother. So I'm making some big changes... please forgive me. As an (allegedly) villanous Canadian scheme hell bent on defeating the left, I give you Harper's Gambit:


Sliders
Hit and Run: +2
Sacrifice Bunt: +5
Squeeze Play: +5
Trying for extra bases: 0
Stealing Bases: -5
Aggressively Tagging Up: 0
Giving Intentional Walks: -5
Pitching Around Good Hitters: -5
Bringing the Infield In: +3
Guarding the Lines: +3
Making Cutoff Throws: 0
Bringing in Pinch Hitters: -2
Bringing in Pinch Runners: -2
Bringing in Defensive Replacements: -2

Please bring the fences in the RCMP home stadium in as much as the game will allow. And I'm pretty sure it is already this, but just to make sure: grass surface, excellent quality infield.
Please send down Bassler, Joe Morgan and Larry Walker and call up Gary Carter, Aaron Ledesma and Hal McRae.

Rotation
SP1 Walter Johnson R
SP2 Satchel Paige R
SP3 Deacon Philippe R
SP4 Cy Young R
MU Joe McGinnity R
Bullpen
CL Wagner L <--- Whichever one has been doing best this postseason
SU Mariano R
SR Wagner L
SR Sid Fernandez L
MR Mark Eichhorn R
LR Juan Marichal R

Lineup vs LHP no DH
LF Ed Delahanty R
RF Babe Ruth L
2B Riggs Stephenson R
CF Al Simmons R
1B Lou Gehrig L
SS Ernie Banks R
3B Harmon Killebrew R
C Gary Carter R

Bench:
C Ted Simmons S
IF Aaron Ledesma R
IF/OF Hal McRae R
OF Tris Speaker L
3B Wade Boggs L
IF/OF Robin Yount R

Lineup vs LHP w/DH
1B Ed Delahanty R
CF Tris Speaker L
2B Riggs Stephenson R
RF Babe Ruth L
LF Al Simmons R
3B Wade Boggs L
DH Robin Yount R
C Gary Carter R
SS Aaron Ledesma R

Bench:
1B Lou Gehrig L
SS Ernie Banks R
1B/3B Harmon Killebrew R
C Ted Simmons S
IF/OF Hal McRae R

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




Super-League XVII, Finals
Pick the Winner, Number of Games (Best of Seven), and score of Final Game.

The SOUTHPAWS have home-field advantage

Finals
RCMP vs. Chicago Southpaws in 7, 4-3

GenericGirlName
Apr 10, 2012

Why did you post that?
:magical: :angel: :holy: :woop: :wiggle:

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
I plan to sim it tonight, unless someone objects.

You have five minutes to object.

Mornacale
Dec 19, 2007

n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates
God help me I just saw a Fanduel ad and thought "what if in addition to pick 'em there was a daily fantasy competition for a third sandwich pick?"

e: Actually, now I'm thinking about it, and we could do a non-daily fantasy league, open either to non-owners or to anyone who isn't in the SL. It could give owners with no team something to do while they wait for the EC to start, plus disperse a little more power to EC (or possibly SpL) teams. It would have to be something simple--no waiver wire, no trades, maybe small rosters--but you could do Roto with the stats visible in the updates. I'm not necessarily saying I'm up for running it, but what do people think if I decide I am?

Mornacale fucked around with this message at 09:43 on Nov 17, 2015

mentholmoose
Nov 5, 2009

YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

Mornacale posted:

God help me I just saw a Fanduel ad and thought "what if in addition to pick 'em there was a daily fantasy competition for a third sandwich pick?"

e: Actually, now I'm thinking about it, and we could do a non-daily fantasy league, open either to non-owners or to anyone who isn't in the SL. It could give owners with no team something to do while they wait for the EC to start, plus disperse a little more power to EC (or possibly SpL) teams. It would have to be something simple--no waiver wire, no trades, maybe small rosters--but you could do Roto with the stats visible in the updates. I'm not necessarily saying I'm up for running it, but what do people think if I decide I am?

That is just too much, even for you.

tadashi
Feb 20, 2006

Mornacale posted:

God help me I just saw a Fanduel ad and thought "what if in addition to pick 'em there was a daily fantasy competition for a third sandwich pick?"

e: Actually, now I'm thinking about it, and we could do a non-daily fantasy league, open either to non-owners or to anyone who isn't in the SL. It could give owners with no team something to do while they wait for the EC to start, plus disperse a little more power to EC (or possibly SpL) teams. It would have to be something simple--no waiver wire, no trades, maybe small rosters--but you could do Roto with the stats visible in the updates. I'm not necessarily saying I'm up for running it, but what do people think if I decide I am?

I can't speak for everyone but I know I don't keep very close tabs on SL players and standings when I don't have a team. It gives me a break from being bad at this.

Ice To Meet You
Mar 5, 2007

Mornacale posted:

God help me I just saw a Fanduel ad and thought "what if in addition to pick 'em there was a daily fantasy competition for a third sandwich pick?"

e: Actually, now I'm thinking about it, and we could do a non-daily fantasy league, open either to non-owners or to anyone who isn't in the SL. It could give owners with no team something to do while they wait for the EC to start, plus disperse a little more power to EC (or possibly SpL) teams. It would have to be something simple--no waiver wire, no trades, maybe small rosters--but you could do Roto with the stats visible in the updates. I'm not necessarily saying I'm up for running it, but what do people think if I decide I am?

I already had this idea but I decided it was stupid. Because if you're not playing by these rules, there's no point:

cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.
I was ranked way too low. My villainy lies not in the Super League, however. I might actually be Mike Illitch and be biding my time until my partner the Reaper arrives to take tatankatonk's soul. You'll soon see.

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



cbx posted:

I was ranked way too low. My villainy lies not in the Super League, however. I might actually be Mike Illitch and be biding my time until my partner the Reaper arrives to take tatankatonk's soul. You'll soon see.

Nah, you should have been ranked much much lower. Just PRETENDING to be in the military made John Cena less villainous. Actually being in the military reduces your villainy total to like zero*, unless you shot puppies while deployed or something.

(*) does not apply to Pander

Pash
Sep 10, 2009

The First of the Adorable Dead

cbx posted:

I was ranked way too low. My villainy lies not in the Super League, however. I might actually be Mike Illitch and be biding my time until my partner the Reaper arrives to take tatankatonk's soul. You'll soon see.

I once unleashed the god of bureaucracy to make Armitage lose a game... I guess in the grand scheme of things thats not particularly evil... I do make people do a lot of paper work though...

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Pash posted:

I once unleashed the god of bureaucracy to make Armitage lose a game... I guess in the grand scheme of things thats not particularly evil... I do make people do a lot of paper work though...

Bureaucracy is pretty evil, but you got to do it right to be really evil.

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa

This is good

Robert Deadford
Mar 1, 2008
Ultra Carp
There are two problems with my ranking.

1. I am only evil by omission, never commission.
2. I'm not actually Polish, I just live here

I hope you can see fit to lower my evilness rating as a result.

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa

tatankatonk posted:

3. Dannomack - What have you turned into? Have you always been this way? Were we blind? We thought that a villain had to taunt us, or tell us that we had lost. But you stand there, smiling, and we're smiling with you. And the knife doesn't hurt when it goes in our side. And the blood on us is warm. And you say 'How about that trade, eh?' And we've lost. And you say 'You want to trade me your 1904 Rube Waddell and a first rounder for my 1969 Juan Marichal?' And before we close our eyes, we say yes.

I would argue that I am, in fact, one of the least villainous owners in the SL. The RCMP's trading may be prolific, but it is rarely (if ever) evil. Indulge me for a moment while we examine the notable ones on my commute home:

To RCMP:
1919 Babe Ruth
1902 Joe McGinnity
To Communists:
1919 Ty Cobb
2009 Mariano Rivera
1902 Cy Young
1967 Hank Aaron
Analysis: The RCMP's most recent trade, and one that most have said, value for value, that we lost. Nothing evil about paying a fair price to a veteran owner.

To RCMP:
DD Pick 25
To Janus:
DD Pick 48
DD Pick 63
RCMP Rd 2 SD Pick
05 Nap Lajoie
13 Roy Halladay
Analysis: I used the pick to select Billy Wagner, one of the best relievers in the league. But, again, I paid a lot for it, and I'm sure the Janus don't regret it. Fair value to a veteran owner.

To RCMP:
1967 Hank Aaron
2004 Billy Wagner
1907 Deacon Philippe
2001 John Olerud
DD Pick #63
To Dragons
1959 Stan Musial
1929 Harry Heilmann
1930 Goose Goslin
Analysis: Once again, this trade was entirely about getting Billy Wagner to improve the bullpen. But those are three very good SL hitters I traded, and I know that no one at the time objected, and a couple of people (I remember FairGame specifically being one) saying that the RCMP overpaid. Yet again, fair value to a veteran owner, even if the players the Dragons got had down years, and the Wagner and Philippe I got had good years.

To RCMP
1924 Tris Speaker
To Coldplayers
1988 Tim Raines
1960 Joe Torre
DD Pick #101
Analysis:: You were all very mean to Pungry about this trade when it happened. You were all so mean in fact that I offered to let him reneg on it if he thought he could get more elsewhere, but he honourably declined. Not very evil. In defense of the trade, Speaker is old and had just put up the worst season by a Tris ever for the Coldplayers, and 88 Tim Raines is peak aged and good. In hindsight, with Speaker turning in a good season as a platoon CF for the RCMP, I acknowledge that the RCMP won this trade. But an old player in Mogul is a risky proposition, as you all know, and this one also required a good SL-hitting right hander capable of playing passable CF D to caddy for Tris to turn out. I traded a full-time starting outfielder in peak Raines plus a couple of other things for a platoon bat. A good platoon bat, but undeniably a platoon bat nonetheless. Again, to a veteran owner, nothing shady about that.

To RCMP:
1905 Nap Lajoie
1930 Goose Goslin
1988 Tim Raines
To Oranges
1984 Rickey Henderson
Analysis: When this trade happened even HulkaMatt, my fiercest critic and future bae, said he couldn't criticize it because oldskool made the offer to me in the thread and I simply accepted. Veteran owner, made the offer to me, nothing evil.

To RCMP:
1995 Mariano Rivera
To Gumshoes:
1994 Mike Timlin
1950 Richie Ashburn
2002 Carlos Delgado
DD Pick #
Analysis: I asked Marauder what he wanted for Mariano, he listed those things, and I said yes. Not only fair value and a veteran owner, but fair value with the SL's King of trades. Nothing evil.

To RCMP:
1919 Ty Cobb
To Goog:
1907 Walter Johnson
1909 Cy Young
Analysis: Gosh you guys were angry about this one. You were mad because Walter is young and Cy is old, which ignores the fact that they are both league average or better SL pitchers at those ages. It also ignores that the Googs needed pitching more than hitting, and acquiring two 100-ish ERA+ pitchers for a struggling rotation is actually very valuable. The Goog has been here since SL1, which makes him a veteran owner by any estimation, and even if no one will agree that it was fair value, I don't see how anyone can view it as a major ripoff. Near fair value to a veteran owner. Might have rubbed you the wrong way, but I can't see it as evil.

To RCMP
DD15 Pick #73
1988 Rick Aguilera
1988 Terry Leach
1988 Gary Carter
Right to swap Rd1 SD Picks
To Googs
DD15 Pick #80
1999 Jeff Bagwell
2000 Joe Nathan
Analysis: This was a pre-season gamble that my team would do better than the Googs. The odds were that would be the case, which is why the Goog also got a good starting 1B and a very good SL reliever. After the swap, the Googs ended up picking 16th overall and the RCMP ended up picking 7th. A starting 1B and a very good SL closer to blindly move up 9 spots in the draft is not a monster rip off, and once again it was with a veteran SL owner. The RCMP cannot be blamed for the googs mistakenly putting a 2006 Nathan on their roster when it should have been the 2000 version.

To RCMP:
1902 Cy Young
1995 Mike Timlin
1906 Roger Bresnahan
To Marmosets
1927 Lou Gehrig
1910 Eddie Plank
Analysis: That season, Cy Young gave me a 119ERA+ in the Sub Par league. That Gehrig put up a 141OPS+ for the Marmos and that Plank put up a 113ERA+ in the Super League. 1995 Timlin sucked for me (even though, looking back now, it should have been a 94 Timlin) and Bresnahan is a very good backup catcher but not a star. I feel that, valuewise, the RCMP lost that trade, but at worst it's fair value to a veteran owner.

To RCMP:
1958 Ernie Banks
To Tornadoes
1935 Joe Cronin
1966 Fergie Jenkins
Analysis: RCMP needed a good defender at short because we give up a fair number of groundballs. Afterwards a bunch of people told me Cronin was worth more than Banks on his own, but CFBalla STILL made me throw in Canadian Hero Fergie Jenkins just so he could let him die to the Machos. Fair value to a veteran owner, but also CFBalla murdered a Canadian Hero just for the hell of it and I'm higher up the villain rankings than him? That just doesn't add up!

To RCMP
2009 Mariano Rivera
1909 Cy Young
To Owls
1907 Willie Keeler
1988 Tim Burke
1907 Jack Chesbro
1990 Ellis Burks
2013 Jesse Crain
1907 Earl Moore
Analysis: Okay this one looks bad when you see the names. But 09 Rivera is 39 and 09 Cy is 42, and if you're going to be mad at me for the Cobb trade with Goog, you can't be mad at me for this one, too! At the time you all made a big stink and Smasher had to step in and say (likely due to ages), that the trade was fine and there was nothing to be done about it. Truth is, Willie Keeler is a former SL batting champ, Tim Burke has had more good SL years than bad, and go see how 07 Chesbro just did for the Sheikhs. But the most important part is that there had never been an 09 Cy or an 09 Mariano in the SL before. There had been a 10 Cy and Marianos, though, and the old Marianos wer unreliable at best and the 10 Cy had just put up a couple of near-league-average seasons in the Sub Par, which is valuable enough but not a star. Both those guys were parts of bigger trades for me later, so the RCMP ended up doing very well from this deal, but at the time it was not particularly evil. Kensei was not a rookie owner, either. So the RCMP won the trade, but can taking a gamble on two old stars be considered evil?

To RCMP
1943 Paul Waner
1947 Fritz Ostermueller
2001 Trevor Hoffman
To Generics
1965 Harmon Killebrew
2003 Ken Griffey Jr
1993 Mike Stanton
1978 Frank Tanana
1970 Clay Carroll
1987 Dave Righetti
2008 JJ Putz
Analysis: This one made everyone very mad because you said I overpaid horribly. Waner and Ostermueller are old and lovely and never played for the RCMP, but I really wanted Hoffman and this was kw's price. Veteran owner, and a more than fair price.

To RCMP
1927 Lou Gehrig
1920 Amos Strunk
To Chicago
1921 Ty Cobb
1961 Sandy Koufax
Analysis: At the time I felt like I was getting ripped off, and looking back I certainly don't feel it was a win for the RCMP. At worst, again, fair value to a veteran owner.

To RCMP
1984 Rickey Henderson
To PUBC
Wonderfuls' 1st SD Pick
Australia's 4th DD Pick
1999 Wade Boggs
1990 Larry Andersen
Analysis: A trade made whilst facing the gauntlet, that 1st round SD pick turned out to be Eddie loving Collins. Trade was made because it was LITERALLY the only offer anyone made for the Wonderful's SD pick and I had no reason to hold onto it going into the Gauntlet. You should all feel ashamed of yourselves. Nothing evil here.

To RCMP
1961 Stan Musial
1921 Ty Cobb
2000 Joe Nathan
Wonderfuls' 1st SD Pick
To Wonderfuls
DD#14 Pickem Prize Sandwich Pick
Analysis: At the time you all claimed it was a bad trade for the RCMP, but I was just trying to survive the Gauntlet. "Musial and Cobb are too old," you told me. "Why survive the Gauntlet to field an old and bad team next season?" you asked. This was a trade where I was auctioning off the pick and took the highest offer. The way things turned out, the RCMP definitely benefitted most from the deal, but if you go back and look at DD14, the Wonderfuls ended up using this pick to select the Black Envelope at #15. Who was chosen at #16? Well it's that dastardly CFBalla again, choosing the MASKED SHORTSTOP with a pick he probably underpaid for from the Salem Witches. If the Wonderfuls had picked TMSS instead of the Envelope, would this deal have even been close?

To RCMP:
1903 Cy Young
1992 Dennis Eckersley
1960 Joe Torre
To Llamas
1991 Barry Bonds
Analysis: Eck and Torre were garbage throw-ins that Llama didn't even want. Fair value to a veteran owner.

To RCMP
1965 Ernie Banks
SL13 DD Pick #58
To Wizards
1907 Al Orth
1907 Deacon McGuire
Analysis: Despite Al Orth putting up a 134ERA+ for the Wizards, and the pick turning out to be not-that-great SL reliever Dave Righetti, and Ernie Banks being old and everyone in the league assuming he was too old for SS at the time, I assume you would all still be as mad about this trade now as you were then. And you were all very mad then. You demanded Smasher step in to protect TheMcD, citing the fact that he was a new owner being victimized. And I agree, protecting new owners is important, but that ignores the fact that I was a new loving owner too! He and I had both had 1 season in the SL at the time of this trade, and my season was with the Longshots, a horrible, terrible, hilariously bad team. I had no idea what was good value and what wasn't. Ernie Banks was too old for SS as far as I knew. Al Orth was a generic deadballer, which I had heard was a good thing. Deacon McGuire had never played in the SL, but I found him on a list as the best catcher of the pre-Ruth era and was told oldschool catchers were amazing behind the plate in Mogul. I didn't know that he was too old and might retire midseason. As far as I knew, I was trading an old catcher with some good MLB seasons and a generic deadballer for a late draft pick and a guy too old to play the only position he has value at.

To RCMP:
1991 Barry Bonds
1979 Ted Simmons
To Tornadoes
2007 Albert Pujols
1996 Sammy Sosa
Analysis: Balla wanted Pujols because he wanted cool Cardinals. I had just acquired Gehrig and needed to turn Pujols into an outfielder. Fair value at worst.

To RCMP:
1936 Lou Gehrig
To Metsss
18th overall DD pick
1990 Gary Sheffield
Analysis: Again, I was a new owner who had only barely figured out how IRC worked. GGN was collecting envelopes or some gimmick in the draft which ended up with the Metsss fielding the Mets Family that season. This was dumb luck. I had the next pick, GGN wanted it to choose an envelope, and the offer was made. In fact, everyone else in IRC decided I had to throw in Gary Sheffield while I was AFK and GGN posted the trade with Sheffield included before I got back. This one was entirely out of my hands. I cannot be vilified for good luck!

To RCMP
2007 Albert Pujols
2004 Mike Lieberthal
To Oranges
1970 Pete Rose
1970 Johnny Bench
1907 Slow Joe Doyle
1999 Wilson Alvarez
Analysis: The RCMP's first trade. Albert Pujols was not yet the God-tier SL player he is now. The Oranges were shopping him in the thread for a C, a utility man, and some bullpen help, and I needed a 1B. I offered Rose and Bench plus any relievers he wanted to try and he chose those two. Nothing evil about it.



In conclusion, the RCMP have overpaid or paid fair value in most trades (edit: I didn't even include overpaying for Joe Morgan and Ed Delahanty just a few weeks ago!). Trades like Gehrig for the final Mettss Family envelope, the Oranges Henderson offer and the 1st round pick Gamble with the Googs were simply good luck. Good luck is something the RCMP have had a lot of (Masked SS injury being the most recent example).

I also won two sandwich picks in pickems, had Satchel Paige fall to me in a draft because Balla wanted a hitter not a pitcher and Andy Waltfield chose Maddux instead of Paige for some reason, and had the good fortune of the Southpaws beating up on my division so hard that I ended up with the 4th overall pick in SDXV (Walter Johnson), plus a whole extra season in the Sub Par which netted me another 1st round SD pick in SDXVI.


Villains aren't lucky. Loveable goofballs are lucky. Al Borland is lucky. Jughead Jones is lucky. I am the Jughead Jones of the SL! Plus I just typed this poo poo on an iPad and it was the worst.

DannoMack fucked around with this message at 23:59 on Nov 17, 2015

Robert Deadford
Mar 1, 2008
Ultra Carp
It's OK DannoMack. You're a good trade buddy. I don't think you're evil.

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

While I believe that the rumors abounding you are exaggerated, and I largely only buy into them because :argh: MOUNTIES :argh:, the fact that you just typed all of that out might speak more than the words themselves.

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kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

I think the biggest rule about this thread is that we're adhering to pro-wrestling rules of drama; it's all kayfabe and all the narratives are written in that manner because it's funnier that way.

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