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 Round 5, Fight 6  Spooky Scary Skeletons is on the left side of the arena. Tash Al'rhyn (tithin) is a female werewolf. She wields a silver war hammer and a wooden shield and wears a copper mail shirt and leather gauntlets. Three Gremlins in a Blender (AJ_Impy) is a male strangler. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears a copper cap, copper gauntlets, and copper low boots. Bad Munki (Coward) is a male kobold. He wields a steel bow and wears a leather cap. Candy Corn Tiger (Klokwurk) is a male tigerman. He wields an iron halberd and a wooden shield and wears bronze gauntlets. Worker Cooperative is on the right side of the arena. Combat Liberalism (Jack the Lad) is a female gremlin. She wields a copper large dagger and wears no armor. Unthrottle the Axolotl (Zwingley) is a female kobold. She wields a copper scourge and wears no armor. Jameson the Unruly (alvie) is a male human. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a copper cap, a copper breast plate, copper leggings, copper gauntlets, and copper low boots. Albrik the Insignificant (Tiler Kiwi) is a male kobold. He wields an iron battleaxe and wears a bronze cap, leather armor, leather leggings, and leather low boots. Worker Cooperative is a 1.06 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 2200.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 2073.00 dwarfbucks for Spooky Scary Skeletons . God, this is too many kobolds for one fight. And only one even had the traditional ceremonial kobold weapon of "a steel bow".  Thanks for disproving my point, Bad Munki. Shot pulls wide left.  Unthrottle and Jameson sprint faster than everyone else, crossing the midline before fight start. It's not the best move. Candy Corn hacks at Jameson, shredding thigh meat. Meanwhile, Three Gremlins engages everyone. Unthrottle jumps away, Liberalism attacks but hits only shield, and Albrik shreds his kidney. Don't engage several foes at once.  Another arrow. It... just sort of disappears?  Seriously, it just vanished. I think what happened was it hit the floor without generating a report, and I can't see it because everyone's standing on that square. Meanwhile, Tash pounds Jameson's shoulder in a terrible fracture. Unthrottle finally catches Candy Corn twice with her scourge, and the tiger is out like a light. Liberalism and Albrik, meanwhile, double-team Tash, and her shield hand is gone. Technically, all fighters are still alive. In practice, the Skeletons are not doing so hot. Three Gremlins aims to change that. He floors the actual gremlin on the other side with a pick stroke, and Liberalism won't be walking again on that leg. Albrik follows up with the same sort of crippling leg shot to Tash. It's a bloodbath out here, folks. Stabs, slashes and more that simply aren't as significant are all over the place.  And Tash's hand just came down. The brighter gore color means it's still airborne, just now on this Z-level.  A third arrow flies.  The gently caress are you aiming at? Anyway, Albrik has completely literally disarmed Tash. Also, Unthrottle was trying to kill Candy Corn for a while, but after six skull fractures the tiger was still dreaming away as peacefully as ever. It takes Jameson sneaking up and stealing the kill for the fight's first death. Moments later, Three Gremlins chops into Liberalism's neck, and the gremlin is unconscious. Another swing, and the one gremlin's head is severed. That's a kill apiece.  Tash is unfortunately close to the entire remaining visiting team. Unthrottle flaps a scourge against the large werewolf's mail shirt, doing... a lot? Tash can add "hard to breathe" to her immediate problems. The kobolds torture her mercilessly. Three Gremlins sneaks up.  Another shot.  The gently caress? That's three arrows so far that have targeted that one empty space on the far wall. While it flies, Albrik's systematic mincing of Tash kills the werewolf. Currently in the air are her right upper leg, her right lower arm, and her right hand.  The three surround Three Gremlins, making for an even matchup. Albrik has an axe. I just... kind of needed to point that out. One of Three Gremlins's arms goes flying, then one leg. Then his intestines. Then his head. Finally, Bad Munki shoots straightish. His arrow is a terrible leg wound on Albrik.  Now, it's time for a demonstration on the virtues of an archer having a helmet and dodging skill. Hint: there really aren't any. Unthrottle quickly disables Bad Munki, then bashes his head in. Final Score Spooky Scary Skeletons: 1 Worker Cooperative: 4 Kills Unthrottle the Axolotl: 1 Jameson the Unruly: 1 Albrik the Insignificant: 2 Three Gremlins in a Blender: 1 Combat Log And then reports are Bad Munki collected a backstage bribe for throwing the fight.
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Nov 30, 2015 18:32
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| # ? May 9, 2024 21:20 |
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I'm sorry Bad Munki. I cursed you. 
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Nov 30, 2015 18:54
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Welp.  knuckledusters and skullcap surprisingly effective posted:Combat Liberalism (Worker Coop) slashes Three Gremlins in a Blender (Spooky Scary) in the second right hand with her large copper dagger, but the attack is deflected by Three Gremlins in a Blender (Spooky Scary)'s small copper right gauntlet! Wasn't expecting that, they're mainly there to make opportunity attacks better. Then again, the weapons are also copper. Albrik the Insignificant is pretty drat terrifying The axe-wielding Kobold is now out in front with 8 kills, enough to solo two entire teams, as many kills as This Bites have managed across the whole tournament. The second tier is now 7 kills, with Three Gremlins in a Blender stepping up alongside Chaz Steadyfist and In Like Flynn.
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Nov 30, 2015 19:07
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Worker Cooperative are going to be even scarier in later fights thanks to the reduced dodging costs and high skill gain.
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Nov 30, 2015 19:42
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i will admit, i did cackle a bit.
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Nov 30, 2015 20:16
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Yeah, that is the archer performance I'm more used to. Basically an archer pretty much has to hit with the first shot or the team loses.
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Nov 30, 2015 22:14
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That's what we get for examining your good fortune.
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Nov 30, 2015 23:49
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Round 5, Fight 8  The Petting Zoo is on the left side of the arena. Antwoman (Spermy Smurf) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields an iron large dagger, two copper large daggers, and a bronze large dagger and wears a copper mail shirt and copper greaves. A Lost Cowman (Locomotive breath) is a male minotaur. He is empty handed and wears a silver helm, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, copper greaves, silver gauntlets, and copper low boots. Simon Belmole (Ablative) is a male molemarian. He wields a copper scourge and wears a copper cap, a copper mail shirt, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Stephen Harper (ChickenWing) is a male serpent man. He wields a silver war hammer and a wooden shield and wears leather gauntlets and leather high boots. A Tarantino Film is on the right side of the arena. Uma Thurman (AnoHito) is a female human. She wields a steel two-handed sword and wears leather armor. Urist McLee (Fuubi) is a male dwarf. He is empty handed and wears a copper helm. Snarls Barkley (Bene Elim) is a female werewolf. She wields a bronze pike and a wooden shield and wears a bronze helm. Solomon Rabinowitz (Added Space) is a male serpent man. He is empty handed and wears a steel helm, a steel mail shirt, steel gauntlets, and steel high boots. The Petting Zoo is a 2.07 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 3192.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 1540.00 dwarfbucks for A Tarantino Film. Well, I believe this is a first. We've got a serpent on each side. The betting is... uneven, though.  Cowman and Snarls are fastest, Cowman slightly moreso. Snarls is forced to jump back, and then the lines meet in earnest. Cowman follows up by grabbing Uma's teeth, and Antwoman stabs her foot. The serpents meet. Stephen hits the other with a hammer. Solomon bites back, but gets only copper. Simon punishes Solomon with a bruise. Back to Uma. Cowman lets go of her teeth, and grabs her finger instead. Uma has a big steel sword, and breaks his spine. Somehow, he's still in the game, though, so he kidney-punches her. Antwoman chops off one of Uma's hands. Cowman crushes her other hand with his bullish might. Somehow, Uma hasn't dropped her weapon, which means it's changed from a two-handed sword to a no-handed sword. Well, until Antwoman gets another stab in. The sword drops. That leaves Snarls as the only other person in A Tarantino Film with a weapon, and he's stunned and not doing much.  Uma is not giving up. She bites Antwoman, and chitin cracks. Cowman rolls his eyes and grabs the human by the toe. Uma shakes vigorously, and Antwoman's arm comes away. She spits it out and, while Cowman is putting her in an ankle lock, bites Cowman in the eyelid. And... he passes out. Cowman confirmed to be a bit of a wuss. Antwoman finally gets another good chop in, and Uma is dead. Meanwhile, Urist basically hasn't been useful yet, but he hasn't been idle. Stephen finally catches him with a good smack, and we've got another cracked spine. Simon, too, finally is mentally in the game and attacks Urist, who's down next to Cowman. Antwoman surgically removes the leg that Simon had just flayed. At the same time, Snarls kills Cowman. Antwoman stabs Urist again and again, ripping open heart and lung. Snarls stabs Stephen in the guts, breaking the largely ineffectual snake fight they'd had for a bit.  So: Petting Zoo: one dead, one unconscious, one inscrutably contributing mole, Antwoman Tarantino Film: one dead, one unconscious, one werewolf with pike, and one snake And then... Solomon bites Antwoman. Venom courses through her veins, and her body seizes up. He bites again, crushing her head. That was a serious momentum shift. Simon is the only zoo that's still fighting, but he is utterly unhurt. Of course, he's also ineffectively trying to kill Urist. Snarls finishes off Stephen. This fight would be tremendously different if Urist weren't clinging so tenaciously to life.  How is he still alive? How? Simon keeps at it. One of the mole's boots (and feet) comes free, courtesy Snarls. Finally, inevitably, Urist bleeds to death. Five dead. Simon faces an uphill battle, but not an impossible one. Solomon has nothing but his natural weaponry, and Simon is decked out in armor. Snarls has a weapon that can easily kill the mole with any swing, but little armor of her own; Simon could painfully flay the werewolf with his scourge and pacify her by one of a few different types of hits. The scourge comes around. Somehow, the scourge breaks bone and collapses lung. On Solomon. That's a potentially crippling blow. Snarls steps up. The pike swings. Headshot. ...with the haft. It's only a bruise. She reverses the weapon and tries again, this time stabbing through the mole's foot. Simon falls over.  Simon's scourge comes around again. Snarls chokes, his breathing labored. Can Simon do it? He forgot Solomon. Paralytic venom floods his torso, and the scourge falls. Simon probably can't survive long enough to overcome that, and the two assailants aren't going to die from their labored breathing. Another foot comes free. The amount of time he'd need to overcome the venom keeps going up, as Solomon injects more. Finally, Snarls pulls herself together and smashes Simon's head. Final Score The Petting Zoo: 2 A Tarantino Film: 4 Kills Snarls Barkley: 3 Solomon Rabinowitz: 1 Antwoman: 1 Simon Belmole: 1 Combat Log I love when these fights are back-and-forth dramatic matches over the one-sided easy victory.
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Dec 1, 2015 17:58
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Incredible. The shaming worked, Bene!
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Dec 1, 2015 18:10
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"His heart is broken." Aww.
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Dec 1, 2015 18:14
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A first win for a Tarantino Film, though they remain rooted to the bottom of Syrupleaf. Snarls Barkley's hat trick pulls her ahead in one match from teammate Uma Thurman's tally for the tournament, and until now she was the only Film with any heads taken. Still, can't argue, losing both hands and then ripping the arm off one enemy with her teeth, then chomping a minotaur's face until it passed out is  as all hell. No changes at the top of the kill boards, but the ranks of the killless unbloodied shrank significantly. AJ_Impy fucked around with this message at 18:20 on Dec 1, 2015 |
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Dec 1, 2015 18:17
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The combat log with Uma is pretty fantastic too. It is like on a whole other level from Josie biting the snake man until he passed out.
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Dec 1, 2015 18:18
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tarantino film would do a ton better if it was urist that ran facefirst into three combatants instead of snarls i love it when there's a betting upset like this, also
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Dec 1, 2015 18:42
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Well, I guess it's a good thing I made a totally conscious decision not to bet on my team, because I saw this coming. The only other alternative would be that I forgot to, and that'd be silly. That said Cowman needs to learn to stop grabbing people's teeth. It's very unhygienic.
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Dec 1, 2015 19:02
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Ramc posted:Incredible. The shaming worked, Bene! (I might need to start betting!)
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Dec 1, 2015 20:39
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Bene Elim posted:(I might need to start betting!) Join us. Bask in my hemorrhaging of riches. I'm more happy a perpetual loser finally won than I'm sad I lost bling.
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Dec 1, 2015 20:51
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By the way, a completely new version of Dwarf Fortress is out. It includes music. And beatboxing. And writing. And taverns. And malleable ethics. And science. And non-dwarf tourists who may potentially apply for citizenship if they like your fortress well enough. And objects made from more than one material. 
my dad fucked around with this message at 22:05 on Dec 1, 2015 |
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Dec 1, 2015 22:02
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Christ, Tash got absolutely wrecked. Reading that fight I was getting the impression she was doing a good job keeping people distracted while the rest of my team were busy spanking. Evidently not.
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Dec 1, 2015 22:17
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How certain are we that we actually have a minotaur and not one of those fainting goats on our team? Can someone check the macro? And Antwoman has had what? 5 limbs bitten off so far this tournament?
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Dec 1, 2015 23:36
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Spermy Smurf posted:And Antwoman has had what? 5 limbs bitten off so far this tournament? Must be a Honeypot ant.
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Dec 1, 2015 23:53
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 The new customization options. 
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Dec 1, 2015 23:58
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Well, he certainly did something in those months without new builds.
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Dec 2, 2015 00:00
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My cursed love of highly granular stat systems with obtuse or nigh-meaningless mechanics attached to them will be my downfall.
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Dec 2, 2015 00:53
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SynthOrange posted:
The fun part is, your character can now change the ethical systems of entire civilizations by rocking out just that hard. Ever wanted peaceful goblins or particularly warmongering elves? Now's your chance to do it. e: Oh my God my dad fucked around with this message at 01:21 on Dec 2, 2015 |
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Dec 2, 2015 01:17
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This game. The next SA DF LP is going to be a doozy.
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Dec 2, 2015 02:33
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Someone link it here when it happens.
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Dec 2, 2015 02:43
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my dad posted:e: Oh my God 
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Dec 2, 2015 03:03
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What happened with that screenshot my dad? Did someone create the south park brown noise in a song in df, or was that a happy naming accident from df? Can someone test out a lustful, murdery, brawl lover for me? Codename: Hate Fucker
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Dec 2, 2015 03:47
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Spermy Smurf posted:What happened with that screenshot my dad? I have no idea. I'm waiting for the first couple of bugfixes before I dare start playing it, and I guess I'll find out then.
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Dec 2, 2015 03:53
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Waiting for the next tourney when we have a team attempt to sweep their division with the power of DEBATE.
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Dec 2, 2015 03:54
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I don't know anything about Dwarf Fort but how will these changes effect future Arena threads? Will I be able to make a Bard and incapacitate the enemy with songs of poop and puke?
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Dec 2, 2015 10:09
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ZeeToo posted:How is he still alive? How? Yay! Urist wasn't useless!
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Dec 2, 2015 11:33
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Balls, I'm out of dwarf$
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Dec 2, 2015 16:15
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Round 5, Fight 2 Gonna be some quick fights because I've been neglecting this and want to run 2 or 4 today. Two Chicks with Dicks is on the left side of the arena. Suck & gently caress Pighead (Dirty Frank) is a female goblin. She wields a silver war hammer and wears no armor. Bo (Haystack) is a male human. He wields a bronze short sword and a wooden shield and wears a leather cap. Stumpy (Mygna) is a female dwarf. She wields an iron great axe and wears a copper mail shirt. Richard Kyanka (Lorrdernie) is a male dark gnome. He wields a bronze large dagger and wears no armor. Lightly Whipped is on the right side of the arena. Ghost-trees (Ghostwoods) is a male molemarian. He wields a silver whip and a wooden buckler and wears a leather cap, leather armor, a copper mail shirt, leather gauntlets, and leather low boots. Trump's Viscous Discharge (goatface) is a female minotaur. She is empty handed and wears leather gauntlets and leather high boots. Grimmik (FillInTheBlank) is a male gremlin. He wields an iron whip and a wooden buckler and wears a steel helm. Jupis Tooki McGannel (GreyPowerVan) is a male strangler. He wields a silver whip and a wooden shield and wears a copper helm.  Two Chicks with Dicks is a 2.79 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 4543.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 1626.00 dwarfbucks for Lightly Whipped.  Bo leads the charge which is usually a disaster. Turns out Bo just blocked and dodged until Suck and gently caress slammed into the opponents from the side. The goblins silver hammer fractures Ghost-Trees hand, forcing him to drop his whip. First blood goes to Bo who chops Trump's left arm open and minotaur blood spurts across the floor.  (Center of melee, human and minotaur): Trump roars in anger and charges Bo, sending him to the floor stunned. (Bottom of melee, gremlin and strangler): Richard Kyanka swings his bronze dagger and Jupis misses the block. The dagger pierces the stranglers guts. Richard Kyanka sees his teammate bowled over, so he leans over and fractures the minotaurs other arm, slicing deep and opening arteries. Trump looks shocked for a split second and promptly passes out. (Top of melee, goblin and moleman): Blow and counterblow dodged time and time again by Suck and gently caress and Ghost-Trees.  Stumpy swings a huge axe in the general direction of Grimmik the Gremlin. Grimmik watches his arm fly across the arena until it lands with a splat behind the other fighters. Jupis realizes that he's got a free shot at Bo from behind while the human is working over the downed minotaur, and he makes great use of it. A paralyzing blow shatters Bo's neck, he falls to the floor unable to move. Richard Kyanka takes 3 blows to get through the minotaurs thick skull, but he finally succeeds. Trump is dead. Suck and gently caress manages to bruise Ghost-Trees and keep the moleman occupied which is better than most fighters do against huge molemen. Richard Kyanka steps over his teammates paralyzed body and slams his dagger into Jupis' chest. A lung is punctured and the strangler passes out.  Suck and gently caress finally lands another blow on Ghost-Trees. The molemans skull is fractured, but he's still gamely fighting on despite his teammates dying around him. Grimmik bites Stumpy, and bleeds to death a moment later. Bo manages to wiggle his paralyzed rear end over to the unconscious Jupis and bite the strangler.  Richard Kyanka, Stumpy, and impressively Bo, all stab, slash, and bite the downed Jupis. Richard Kyaka chops Jupis' dick off, most likely due to penis envy. Jupis finally dies of blood loss, and the kill is credited to Stumpy in the reports.  And now it's a 4v1 with a paralyzed Bo trying to reach Ghost-Trees. Suck and gently caress has been dueling with Ghost-Trees the entire fight, keeping him occupied but neither fighter has been able to do poo poo to the other aside of the fractured skull delivered to the moleman earlier. The fight goes south for Ghost-Trees. A foot is chopped and stabbed, then sent flying. A front leg is broken. Another foot is broken. Guts are spilled. Richard Kyanka finally takes his head off. Winner: Two Chicks with Dicks with an easy 4-0 victory. Killcount (and this kill tally is correct via the reports in-game as Impy usually does)* Richard Kyanka: 2, and bonus points for chopping Jupis' dick off. Stumpy: 2 Combat Log *Maybe. I think. I dont loving know. Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 15:29 on Dec 3, 2015 |
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Dec 3, 2015 15:21
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I thought you were joking, but,quote:It is a gelding strike! it finally happened in the arena... 
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Dec 3, 2015 15:36
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Lightly Whipped are now an impressive zero for five, despite managing to paralyse one of the opposition. They failed to add to their tally of two kills, by far the least productive team in the tournament. A gelding strike indeed. Stumpy joins Albrik on eight kills at the top of the leaderboard, Richard Kyanka rises to the third tier.
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Dec 3, 2015 15:41
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Why did I get lashing and blocking skill? I wonder if whips have an innately lower parry chance...
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Dec 3, 2015 15:42
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GreyPowerVan posted:Why did I get lashing and blocking skill? I wonder if whips have an innately lower parry chance... They have a special tag that makes them bad at being wielded alongside something else, and it's quite possible that this includes being wielded alongside a shield.
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Dec 3, 2015 15:46
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my dad posted:They have a special tag that makes them bad at being wielded alongside something else, and it's quite possible that this includes being wielded alongside a shield. Really? I have never known anyone to use four hands to wield a whip... Does anyone know of a shield is actually bad? If so I need to get rid of it.
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Dec 3, 2015 15:51
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| # ? May 9, 2024 21:20 |
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my dad posted:I thought you were joking, but, I'm sorry Tiger Millionaire you have lost your place as my favorite fighter... May your silver armor always shine brightly...
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Dec 3, 2015 18:06
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