Lady Naga posted:

Nah people jerk off to porn out of obligation.

Lady Naga posted:

Nah people jerk off to porn out of obligation.

Dresh posted:

Faith in humanity: RESTORED

TheKennedys posted:

of all the poo poo that didn't happen, etc

Shai-Hulud posted:

Let's all just remember that if this story actually did happen everyone involved weighs about 400lbs.

Zelder posted:

Wanna see that dude get yelled at for stolen valor

Stuntman posted:

Der Luftwaffle posted:

Is it normal for people to be drunk at 9am in Britain?

goose fleet posted:

EmmyOk posted:

This is the craziest sex you can imagine guys high heels and lingerie!!

canyoneer posted:

YOUR MEDALS ARE ALL WRONG
YOU CAN'T BE A MASTER CHIEF, YOU'RE ONLY 23
MY FRIENDS DIED FOR THAT SPACESUIT UNIFORM, HAD THEIR BRAINS BLASTED OUT BY COVENANT TROOPERS

goose fleet posted:

Plus the vibrator that has like 12 orgasmic wave pulse patterns

quote:

"Then as we were coming through Attercliffe, Bohemian Rhapsody, by Queen, came on the radio.
"Everyone was singing the words and rocking out in the back of my car, it was like a Wayne’s World moment.
"I was looking in the rear view mirror thinking, 'is this actually happening?'"

quote:

This troper feels like relating his particular Marching Band related CMOA. Before significant games i.e. playoffs, big rivalries, first of the season, there is a tradition called The Glory. The Band gathers before lineup in a circle with an upperclassman at the center who proceeds to lead the band in a chant of �Oh my lord, lord lord lord, ahummmm, ahummm� and then make some type of speech. It was our last regular game of the season, the night when seniors are honored, and this particular game would determine if we went through to playoff. I had established myself as the voice of the band and all around speech maker, so I start the glory and launch into a speech described by my friends as a cross between a fire and brimstone Baptist preacher and Hitler addressing the third reich. It was entirely improvised so I don�t really remember more than a few lines. The best I remember clearly went �We go out there to remind them WHO WE ARE.� � I want you to go out on that field, RIP OUT YOUR HEART AND STOP IT INTO THOSE YARDLINES!� (yes, the caps are necessary) �Do you know why it always rains on this night? (It has rained every senior night game for the last 8 years) It rains because this field is crying for us, not crying tears of sorrow, no, but tears of joy that our journey is finally complete!� �This is OUR NIGHT. MAKE THEM REMEMBER IT!� Yes, I am a large ham, yes I love movies like Braveheart and 300. We won the game and went to playoff for the first time in 4 years. Epic.

quote:

I am a large ham

Elysiume posted:

I found the true part, but I think they meant the wrong definition of "ham"

Troper tales are some of the most embarrassing stuff ever. that_kid_is_inhuman.txt

Perestroika posted:

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether it would be worse if it was actually true:

Perestroika posted:

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether it would be worse if it was actually true:

Fathis Munk posted:

This person is just like her favorite anime! Amazing.

My fav troper tale is still pencil guy

Fathis Munk posted:

This person is just like her favorite anime! Amazing.

My fav troper tale is still pencil guy

OctoberBlues posted:

One of my favorite memories from visiting Scotland was the dude who stumbled outside from a bar at like noon on a Tuesday and started pissing all over a wall.

Eponine posted:

I remember an early episode of Intervention where a woman would have a six pack on her morning train commute, then spend like 12 hours doing truck dispatching with a few beers at lunch, and then come home and drink another six pack on the way back. The woman was the epitome of a functional alcoholic. Once she stopped drinking like 18 beers a day, she ended up divorcing her husband because she was basically unstoppable.

Perestroika posted:

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether it would be worse if it was actually true:

Zaphod42 posted:

Good loving god that's bad.

Probably a young teenager though, so loving proud of herself for how snarky and cynical she is.

Perestroika posted:

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether it would be worse if it was actually true:

Perestroika posted:

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether it would be worse if it was actually true:

Perestroika posted:

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether it would be worse if it was actually true:

Lowly posted:

I seriously hate this person. Can you imagine if you had to be this kid's parents?

I am cracking up that she claims to walk around in someone else's toe shoes as shoes. First of all, barf. Toe shoes are stank as hell after someone has used them. This is what a used pair of to shoes looks like:

Eponine posted:

How does this person have "the highest GPA in the school" while not being able to stick to a consistent 1st or 3rd person narrative?

Der Luftwaffle posted:

Is it normal for people to be drunk at 9am in Britain?

Applewhite posted:

Fun Babbages story (originally from this thread):
When I was working at Babbage's, we had a manager we called "Supermanager." Not because he was a great manager, but because he was a huge Superman freak. Like, he wore a Superman t-shirt to work every day, knew every line from every show, and collected all the comic books as well. Anyway, when Superman 64 was announced, he was sure it was going to be the greatest game ever made. He decked out the store with every promotional material ever associated with the game, and talked it up to all the customers.
When the game was finally released, he had us put our entire inventory for the month out on the shelves at the same time because he was sure it was going to sell like hotcakes.
While we were doing that, he grabbed one of the boxes and ran into the back room where we had the N64 set up.
We'd just finished setting up all the Superman 64 boxes, like every shelf was nothing but Superman 64, when Supermanager comes storming out of the back room. He had tears streaming down his face and somehow his superman t-shirt had gotten torn. He started bellowing incomprehensibly at us and flailing his arms. One of the other guys who worked there tried to calm him down, but he just shoved him aside and kept rampaging through the store. Our manager was a big guy so he was like a bull in a china shop, knocking over displays and flinging magazines up into the air all over the place. He charged right at me and knocked me over to get at the display behind me, where he proceeded to sweep all the game boxes off the shelf and onto the floor.
I was like "what the hell is wrong?"
And my manager bawls "It sucks! Superman 64 SUUUUUUCKS!" he was still screaming it when he dashed out of the store and plunged straight over the guardrail (our Babbage's was on the second level of the mall). Luckily the child's play area was directly below us and a gaggle of fat children broke his fall so he didn't die.
Anyway we closed early that day and I got to manage the store for the rest of the week until corporate sent a substitute manager to take care of things until we could find someone permanent to fill the position, so that was pretty neat
Supermanager never came back to the store. We looked him up later and it turned out he'd checked himself into a mental institution, I dunno if he's still there or not.

Pththya-lyi posted:

The Tragedy of Supermanager


I was there, I was the torn shirt

Perestroika posted:

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether it would be worse if it was actually true: