Let's Play the Grailquest series! (If this kills you, go to 14.)

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Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Well maybe he's friendly, and those arrows were simply warning shots because he thought we were the bad guys!

Section 84 posted:

'Ahoy there!' you call. 'Don't think you can frighten me with that ghostly bow. Your ghostly arrows will go right through me without doing any damage!'

'That's true,' agrees the Phantom Archer in sepulchral tones. 'As against that, my ghostly touch is so chilling that I can drain half your present LIFE POINTS every time I get my hands on you!' With which he drops his phantom bow and launches himself upon you with bare (and somewhat transparent) hands.

No getting out of this one. Your only consolation is that he can 't actually kill you since dividing your current LIFE POINTS in half, however often it happens, will never reduce them to zero. But he could render you unconscious, in which case you will come to at 39 and be forever debarred from visiting the ruined castle again. If, however, you kill the ghost ( in a manner of speaking) you are free to explore the ruin at 173.

The Phantom Archer has 35 LIFE (?) POINTS and hits successfully on 8 or better, removing half your current LIFE POINTS on each successful strike whatever the dice show.

Or maybe not.

Let's see if he can beat his bad touching.

Phantom Archer's initiative roll: 1 + 4 = 5
Pip's initiative roll: 3 + 2 = 5
Jason's initiative roll: 1 + 3 = 4

Phantom Archer's initiative re-roll: 6 + 2 = 8
Pip's initiative re-roll: 5 + 6 = 11

Pip casts ILLUSION SPELL! 3 + 2 = 5, didn't work.
Phantom Archer attacks! 2 + 1 - 1 = 2, missed.
Jason attacks! 4 + 4 = 8, Phantom Archer is hit for 3 + 3 = 6 LIFE (?) POINTS and is down to 29.

Pip attacks! 5 + 5 = 10, Phantom Archer is hit for 4 + 3 = 7 LIFE (?) POINTS and is down to 22.
Phantom Archer attacks! 1 + 1 = 2, well aren't we clumsy tonight.
Jason attacks! 5 + 3 = 8, Phantom Archer is hit for 3 + 3 = 6 LIFE (?) POINTS and is down to 16.

Pip attacks! 3 + 3 = 6, Phantom Archer is hit for 0 + 3 = 3 LIFE (?) POINTS and is down to 13.
Phantom Archer attacks! 1 + 2 = 3, another miss.
Jason attacks! 5 + 1 = 6, Phantom Archer is hit for 1 + 3 = 4 LIFE (?) POINTS and is down to 9.

Pip attacks! 4 + 6 = 10, Phantom Archer is hit for 4 + 3 = 7 LIFE (?) POINTS; is down to 2 and is knocked out. (Can ghosts be knocked out? According to The Rules they can, but I wonder...)

(For the record, I don't fudge dice rolls as a matter of principle: whatever the RNG says, goes. The Phantom Archer really did roll that bad :v:

)

Section 173 posted:

The ruins were well worth exploring. Beneath the remains of a crumbling wall you find a smallish casket and within the casket is... A second casket!

And inside this is another; and inside this another still and so on, like Chinese boxes, until you are down to a little weeny casket no larger than a snuffbox. You open the final casket then step back in alarm as something bright orange expands out of it, growing larger and larger until it looms over you like the side of a candy-striped house.

It's a balloon - a hot air balloon complete with collapsible wicker basket! What a find! You can use this balloon to fly direct to any of the other sections on this island (although not, unfortunately, to any other island.)

Your choices are 51, 112, 65, 120, 97 or 88.

Those are the same options we would have gotten had we just gone back to 39. *sad_trombone.wav*

Since there's only one place we haven't visited yet on this island, the village at 65, let's go check that out.

Section 65 posted:

What's going on here? You set out for a village and you've ended up in a pigsty! No question about it. The moment you set foot within the boundaries of that pleasant little village, it turned into a monumental pigsty. Full of pigs, too, although they're nothing to worry about.

What you do have to worry about is the Boar. It is ignoring Jason and attacking you. It has 35 LIFE POINTS, strikes on 5 and can gore you with +3 tusks. If you kill the beast you may return to 39 to pick a new destination or turn to 76 if you fancy searching the sty. If the beast kills you, all you'll find is 14.

Well even if it's ignoring Jason, it doesn't mean that Jason is going to ignore it. Let's make some bacon.

Boar's initiative roll: 4 + 2 = 6
Pip's initiative roll: 2 + 1 = 3
Jason's initiative roll: 5 + 4 = 9

Jason attacks! 6 + 3 = 9, Boar is hit for 3 + 3 = 6 LIFE POINTS and is down to 29.
Boar attacks! 2 + 2 - 1 = 3, missed.
Pip attacks! 2 + 5 = 7, Boar is hit for 1 + 3 = 4 LIFE POINTS and is down to 25.

Jason attacks! 3 + 2 = 5, Boar is hit for 0 + 3 = 3 LIFE POINTS and is down to 22.
Boar attacks! 6 + 6 = 12, Pip is hit for 7 + 3 - 3 = 7 LIFE POINTS and is down to 38.
Pip attacks! 2 + 5 = 7, Boar is hit for 1 + 3 = 4 LIFE POINTS and is down to 18.

Jason attacks! 4 + 3 = 7, Boar is hit for 2 + 3 = 5 LIFE POINTS and is down to 13.
Boar attacks! 2 + 1 = 3, missed.
Pip attacks! 4 + 2 = 6, Boar is hit for 0 + 3 = 3 LIFE POINTS and is down to 10.

Jason attacks! 3 + 2 = 5, Boar is hit for 0 + 3 = 3 LIFE POINTS and is down to 7.
Boar attacks! 1 + 5 = 6, Pip is hit for 1 + 3 - 3 = 1 LIFE POINT and is down to 37.
Pip attacks! 5 + 4 = 9, Boar is hit for 3 + 3 = 6 LIFE POINTS, is down to 1 and falls unconcious.

Let's see what's in the pigsty.

Section 76 posted:

This is not a particularly pleasant place to search. (But maybe you didn't think it would be.) Nonetheless you do find something: a little golden key, very small - like something you would see on a charm bracelet.

Keep it carefully and return to 39 where you can decide on somewhere else to go.

Another one of those keys.

And we're officially done with this island! Let's take a look at the sea chart:

The only islands we haven't visited yet are Demondim Isle and Lost Island. Lost Island is our final destination, so let's check out the other one.

Section 12 posted:

This does not look like a South Sea Island paradise. No glistening beaches, no waving palms, no hula dancers trying to avoid the lawnmower. Instead, your trusty vessel draws towards a desolate, gloomy cliff-face with the barren, rock encrusted sweep of land stretching out beyond it to a dark horizon.

Far to the north, smoke and fumes are rising, suggesting some form of volcanic activity and casting a low, sullen pall across the entire island.

You skirt the cliff-face cautiously, looking for a safe place to beach, but there is none. Eventually you find two narrow inlets, one to the west, one to the south, but depth soundings with a plumbline soon convince you these are too shallow for the ship to navigate. If you want to investigate the island, you must use the tiny rowboat stored on the ship's upper deck; but this means going alone...

If you decide to risk a solitary journey, turn to 19.

If you feel this gloomy place is best left alone, try navigating to another island on the Sea Chart.

In for a penny...

Section 19 posted:

'A brave decision!' exclaims one of the Argonauts. But which inlet will you take?'

Which is, of course, the $64,000 question (or will be when dollars are invented).

If you decide on the western inlet, go to b.

If you head for the southern inlet, go to 33.

...Why $64,000? :raise:

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 37 / 44+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 2
INVENTORY: Sword (hits on a 6, +3 damage), Good Armour (-3 damage), Rusty dagger (hits on a 6, +2 damage), rope, grappling hook, lamp, flint and steel, poison stiletto (+1 damage, 8 doses of 2-damage-per-round poison), healing potion x2 (restores two dice rolls' worth of LIFE POINTS), magical quinine (heals malaria), tiny little golden key x9 , Pigform Scroll x1 (works on a 4 or better on two dice, turns a single enemy into a 15 LIFE POINT pig that hits on a 6 for normal damage), Bottle of Grog x1, Long John Silver's Bribe (100 Gold Pieces), Cricri bird egg x6 (heals poison when eaten with purple spinach), inflatablefish's not-quite-seaworthy paper boat, vancho1's purple boat, Magic Talisman (-1 to an opponent's first dice roll in combat), Anti-poison potion x1, Caul (can ignore all "you drown, go to 14" indications), Golden ~~Fleece~~ Sweater (technically Jason's), ILLUSION SPELL scroll (can be cast anytime at no cost, works on 11 or 12 on two dice, kills all enemies who roll 3 or less on one die)
STATUS EFFECTS: none
TREASURE: 1439 gold pieces, gems worth 1,500 gold pieces, 20 gold nuggets worth 450 gold pieces each (9,000 gold pieces total)
EMPLOYEES: none

Pip's Allies posted:

Jason: 25/25 LIFE POINTS, hits on a 5, armed with sword (+3 damage), wearing Good Armour (-3 damage)

Roll of the Dead posted:

Death the First: Snacked on by Babysaurus Rex
Death the second: transfixed by a magic song and starved to death
Death the third: chopped into tiny little pieces by a whole drat lot of guards
Death the fourth: starved to death due to digging into a banquet at the wrong time
Death the fifth: Yes! Boldly stride up through the illusionary door of the illusionary castle on top of the very real and very high cliiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..........}}*splat*

# ? Dec 20, 2015 23:38

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 18:27

Ratatozsk: Mar 6, 2007; Had we turned left instead, we may have encountered something like this...

The $64,000 Question is like a 50's version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

# ? Dec 20, 2015 23:52

inflatablefish: Oct 24, 2010

I think we should make like the Pet Shop Boys and Go West.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 16:14

Alumnus Post: Dec 29, 2009; They are weird and troubling. We owe it to our neighbors to kill them.; Pillbug

Let's go to b. :v:

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:42

Russ L: Feb 26, 2011

Go West, young Pip, go West.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:58

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

b is actually a secret cypher for ~~the OCR screwed up and I didn't catch the mistake when I first posted it~~ 23, so let's go there.

Section 23 posted:

As you pull bravely towards the inlet, a sweep of white water across its mouth catches your attention, and while you're new to this seafaring business, you suspect it indicates a line of reefs. The problem now is can you navigate them safely. And since you have no chart to guide you, it seems to be largely a question of luck.

You could always turn back, of course. But if you do, your crew (a superstitious lot who believe in golden sheep) will insist you leave this island alone from now on. But the choice is yours and you have the option of selecting another destination from your chart.

Alternatively, you may roll two dice. Score 2-4 and go to 53. Score 5-9 and go to 63. Score 10- 12 and go to 13.

Roll: 1 + 2 = 3.

Section 53 posted:

You have scarce made your decision when a current seizes your little craft, carrying you swiftly towards the white water and the reefs. Frantically you pull on the oars, but it takes no more than an instant to discover you are out of control. The rowboat smashes into an underwater reef and spins, miraculously escaping serious damage. But no sooner are you congratulating yourself than it strikes another. Still no serious danage, but now you are in the midst of a churning maelstrom.

Craash! You are flung from your craft into the icy torrent. You gasp and breathe water. Coughing, you surface momentarily in time to see your boat smash to pieces. For an instant you catch a glimpse of the golden hull of the mother ship - alas, too distant to give you aid. You sink again, lungs near to bursting, but fight your way back to the surface. Desperately you try to swim, to hit out for shore. An errant wave seizes you and flings you bodily on to a half-submerged rock. You strike your head a fearsome blow and suddenly all noise and movement ceases. There is only blackness . . .

Only one option here go to 21.

Section 21 posted:

You awaken on a rocky shore. Your body is bruised and aching and your head feels as if it has been put through a mincer. The weapons and equipment you brought with you are gone with your boat. You try to stand and stagger weakly. It is obvious you have lost LIFE POINTS. But how many? And can you survive? Roll two dice. The score indicates how many LIFE POINTS you have lost.

If the loss kills you, go to 14.

If not, hunt around until you find a piece of driftwood which you can use as a weapon ( +2 damage ) then stagger off to 38.

We lose (roll) 10 LIFE POINTS, so we're down to 27. And for the purpose of this LP, let's assume we left all non-combat or non-healing-related stuff on the Argo, and that we were still wearing our armour so we didn't lose it. Also, we learned the two spells we'd found already so we can still cast those.

Section 38 posted:

After all the hassle getting here, you might be wondering why you bothered. This is quite the grottiest island you have ever visited. The towering cliffs you noticed when you were trying to find a way in with your boat aren't just confined to the coastline. Towering cliffs are everywhere. The island itself is almost bare of vegetation - no more, really, than a gigantic rock which has lurched out of the seabed. But out of the rock have been gouged craters and valleys so that cliff-faces seem to rise around you wherever you go. It's also quite chill here, which is peculiar considering the overall climate.

Wonder why it's called Demondim Isle?

You begin a systematic search, although to be honest, you aren't all that sure any more what you are actually searching for. You need to get back to King Arthur's time, of course, but how to do so is another matter. Basically you are searching for something that might come in useful.

You enter a valley (more towering cliffs on either side) and travel westwards until, to your chagrin, you discover you are in a dead end. The valley simply stops at another towering cliff to the west. Nothing else for it but to come back the way you came.

You turn and discover why they call this Demondim Isle. No more than 200 yards away are ranged six Demondim. The creatures are about the size of baboons (and not unlike them in general appearance). They are hairless, black skinned and fearsomely fanged, moving restlessly, sometimes upright, sometimes on all fours, but always quietly. Their faces are almost featureless, save for the huge black orbs which presumably serve as eyes.

One of them moves a little forward from the pack, stands upright and gives vent to a high-pitched wailing howl before dropping back on all fours and moving restlessly to join his fellows. You are painfully aware of the cliff wall at your back, the cliffs to your sides (not to mention the fact that the only weapon you have handy is that stupid driftwood club). The pack moves towards you a few yards, then halts, and this time all six emit that eerie, high-pitched howl. The black orbs of their eyes seem to stare hungrily into your very soul. Isn't this chilling?

You grip your club more firmly and sensibly look around you for some means of escape. At first there seems to be none, then suddenly you notice a cave mouth (little more than a crack really) about thirty feet above you in the face of the northern cliff. Climbing to it would not be easy - especially with a Demondim pack snapping at your heels - but your judgement is that it would not be impossible either.

The Demondim pack wails again and starts forward in your direction, a cautious, erratic, restless movement that will nonetheless bring them on you within moments. This is make-your-mind-up-time.

You may move forward bravely to meet the Demondim, in which case go to 86.

You might try climbing up to the cave in the hope there is a way out of this mess, in which case go to 131.

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 27 / 44+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 2
INVENTORY: ~~Sword (hits on a 6, +3 damage)~~, Good Armour (-3 damage), Rusty dagger (hits on a 6, +2 damage), rope, grappling hook, lamp, flint and steel, poison stiletto (+1 damage, 8 doses of 2-damage-per-round poison), healing potion x2 (restores two dice rolls' worth of LIFE POINTS), magical quinine (heals malaria), tiny little golden key x9, Pigform Scroll x1 (works on a 4 or better on two dice, turns a single enemy into a 15 LIFE POINT pig that hits on a 6 for normal damage), Bottle of Grog x1, Long John Silver's Bribe (100 Gold Pieces), Cricri bird egg x6 (heals poison when eaten with purple spinach), inflatablefish's not-quite-seaworthy paper boat, vancho1's purple boat, Magic Talisman (-1 to an opponent's first dice roll in combat), Anti-poison potion x1, Caul (can ignore all "you drown, go to 14" indications), Golden ~~Fleece~~ Sweater (technically Jason's),[s] ILLUSION SPELL scroll (can be cast anytime at no cost, works on 11 or 12 on two dice, kills all enemies who roll 3 or less on one die), piece of driftwood (+2 damage)
STATUS EFFECTS: none
TREASURE: 1439 gold pieces, gems worth 1,500 gold pieces, 20 gold nuggets worth 450 gold pieces each (9,000 gold pieces total)
EMPLOYEES: none

Pip's Allies posted:

Jason: 25/25 LIFE POINTS, hits on a 5, armed with sword (+3 damage), wearing Good Armour (-3 damage)

Roll of the Dead posted:

Death the First: Snacked on by Babysaurus Rex
Death the second: transfixed by a magic song and starved to death
Death the third: chopped into tiny little pieces by a whole drat lot of guards
Death the fourth: starved to death due to digging into a banquet at the wrong time
Death the fifth: Yes! Boldly stride up through the illusionary door of the illusionary castle on top of the very real and very high cliiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..........}}*splat*

# ? Dec 24, 2015 21:31

Jazzimus Prime: May 16, 2002; The Brothers Autobot

Just because they're terrifying and have "demon" in their name doesn't necessarily mean they're out to kill us.

Stride forward.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 22:15

Russ L: Feb 26, 2011

Demondim? I 'ardly know 'im.

Steam in there. 86.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 22:23

Comstar: Apr 20, 2007; Are you happy now?

Try climbing up to the cave in the hope there is a way out of this mess, in which case go to 136. I'm sure there aren't more in there.

# ? Dec 25, 2015 00:54

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Merry Christmas, Grailquest LP thread! It's time to celebrate by getting together with friends!

Section 86 posted:

The creatures hesitate at your brave move and for a moment it seems as though they might actually be considering a retreat. But they carefully count how many of you there are and when they fail to get higher than one, they break into a delighted waihng and rush towards you swiftly.

Staunchly you grip your makeshift club and prepare to do battle at 92.

Have at you, you fiends! :black101:

Section 92 posted:

You roll your dice, record a massive hit and swing your club. A jarring shudder half paralyses your arm as the club makes contact with a Demondim head. But the creature only grins at you, unharmed.

Swiftly you swing again: and again the dice indicate a hit with damage. But again the creature only grins at you, obviously unhurt. You swing at another and another, striking .successfully each time, but scoring no damage whatsoever. These Dim are absolutely immune to your attacks!

The six circle you, then close in efficiently, calling out to one another in their eerie, highpitched voices.

With nothing better to do, you keep on swinging, but the pack grab you with steely fingers, lift you bodily from the ground and carry you off to 34.

...Or not

I guess our foes this time are literally made of stone!

Section 34 posted:

This is not, by and large, the one place you would naturally choose for a picnic. You are in a vast natural amphitheatre, open to the sullen sky, with rock terraces packed to capacity with Demondim. The noise is terrifying, since the creatures continually call to one another in their weird, high-pitched, trilling voices as they leap from terrace to terrace before squatting to regard you grimly with those huge black orbs of eyes.

On the floor of the amphitheatre itself, lonely as a Roman gladiator, you stand prepared for the worst, wondering vaguely why you ever let Merlin talk you into these lunatic adventures - especially since the old fool can't even get his spells right. You look around you, desperately searching for some means of escape. But there is none. The entrance to the arena is now sealed by a solid wall of Demondim fighters, grinning muscular creatures armed with granite clubs that look as if they could do +10,000 damage even on a near miss.

In the exact centre of the arena is a rectangular granite slab, suspiciously like a sacrificial altar, with a basalt pillar set at either end. Even in your present extremity, those pillars intrigue you, for they do not seem to be natural formations. Embedded in each at intervals are tiny shards of mica and both are topped by a multi-faceted block of crystal.

But before you have much time to contemplate the mystery of the pillars (or worry about the sacrificial altar, come to that), the horde of Demondim fall abruptly silent. You swing round at a tiny sound behind you to find the Demondim fighter guards have parted to allow the entrance of a tall robed figure, face totally hidden by a heavy hood through slits in which two red eyes glitter ferally as they lock on to your own.

The figure (which seems more human than Demondim from its posture) walks slowly towards you, carrying an extremely nasty looking curved and crystal-bladed knife.

Although the Demondim seem immune to attack, you might like to try your luck at slaughtering this hooded figure, in which case go to 58.

Or you could try cunning by falling down on the ground, drumming your heels, frothing at the mouth and generally trying to convince these creatures you are, essentially, a harmless lunatic. If so, go to 71.

Or you can simply wait to see how things turn out, in which case go to 45.

Human sacrifice, eh? You're in the wrong place pal, the Necklace of Skulls thread is thataway :v:

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 27 / 44+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 2
INVENTORY: ~~Sword (hits on a 6, +3 damage)~~, Good Armour (-3 damage), Rusty dagger (hits on a 6, +2 damage), rope, grappling hook, lamp, flint and steel, poison stiletto (+1 damage, 8 doses of 2-damage-per-round poison), healing potion x2 (restores two dice rolls' worth of LIFE POINTS), magical quinine (heals malaria), tiny little golden key x9, Pigform Scroll x1 (works on a 4 or better on two dice, turns a single enemy into a 15 LIFE POINT pig that hits on a 6 for normal damage), Bottle of Grog x1, Long John Silver's Bribe (100 Gold Pieces), Cricri bird egg x6 (heals poison when eaten with purple spinach), inflatablefish's not-quite-seaworthy paper boat, vancho1's purple boat, Magic Talisman (-1 to an opponent's first dice roll in combat), Anti-poison potion x1, Caul (can ignore all "you drown, go to 14" indications), Golden ~~Fleece~~ Sweater (technically Jason's),[s] ILLUSION SPELL scroll (can be cast anytime at no cost, works on 11 or 12 on two dice, kills all enemies who roll 3 or less on one die), piece of driftwood (+2 damage)
STATUS EFFECTS: none
TREASURE: 1439 gold pieces, gems worth 1,500 gold pieces, 20 gold nuggets worth 450 gold pieces each (9,000 gold pieces total)
EMPLOYEES: none

Roll of the Dead posted:

Death the First: Snacked on by Babysaurus Rex
Death the second: transfixed by a magic song and starved to death
Death the third: chopped into tiny little pieces by a whole drat lot of guards
Death the fourth: starved to death due to digging into a banquet at the wrong time
Death the fifth: Yes! Boldly stride up through the illusionary door of the illusionary castle on top of the very real and very high cliiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..........}}*splat*

# ? Dec 25, 2015 17:05

inflatablefish: Oct 24, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Let's just wait and see.

# ? Dec 25, 2015 22:23

Comstar: Apr 20, 2007; Are you happy now?

Try cunning by falling down on the ground, drumming your heels, frothing at the mouth and generally trying to convince these creatures you are, essentially, a harmless lunatic. Which makes perfect sense.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 09:25

Groly: Nov 4, 2009

Going out without a fight? Not Merlin's #1 troubleshooter! Slaughter this fool...by makin' him into bacon. (Pigform Scroll if we start losing the fight.)

# ? Dec 26, 2015 12:01

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Three options, one vote each. Can I have a tiebreaker here? I'd hate having to roll a dice to determine where we go from here. Since this is possibly the last choice of import that's left in this book.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 17:40

Smart Car: Mar 31, 2011

Nothing could possibly go wrong here, just wait and see.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 17:45

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Section 45 posted:

The hooded figure throws back its hood to reveal a chalk-white face with glittering red eyes and canine fangs protruding delicately over his lower lip. With the hood back, the robe falls open at the neck to give a glimpse of a high wing collar and white tie over the ruffled opera shirt.

The once-hooded figure speaks:

What a pickle you're in, my dear young friend,
But fear not,
Nor get hot
Under the collar
For you can bet your bottom dollar
I will save you in the end!

A huge cheer erupts from the terraces of Demondim. It's the Poetic Fiend - famed to every adventurer the length and breadth of Avalon as the worst versifier in the history of the universe. But what on earth is he doing here, in another Time, on Demondim Isle?

Swiftly you compose a suitable reply:

I shall not fear,
For you were here,
Right from the start,
Oh Master of the Poetic Art!

Not very good, but at least it's flattering, which is all that really counts with the Poetic Fiend; and another cheer goes up from the terraces.

'Well said!' exclaims the Fiend delightedly. 'What a great joy for me to meet a fellow Poet. And how our audience loves us!' He turns and bows, smiling, to the delirious Demondim. 'Really they do so enjoy a good rhyme. I could scarcely believe my luck when I found this island. No sooner had I composed my first ode for them than they made me King and High Priest all rolled into one. A remarkable show of appreciation. But enough of this nostalgia: we have to get you out of here. The last I heard, the Saxons were invading Avalon, Excalibur had been stolen, and Merlin was suffering from concussion, so the sooner you find your way back the better. I wonder if you'd mind awfully stretching out on that sacrificial altar stone.' And he gestures vaguely with that wicked crystal-bladed knife.

Do you go quietly and lie on the altar stone at 148?

Or do you think, 'Blow this for a melodian band, ' and take another swing at the Poetic Fiend in the hope of making your escape! If so, go to 141.

This guy

...No, seriously, how did you get here anyway, dude? We're pretty far from where we last met in both space and time.

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 27 / 44+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 2
INVENTORY: ~~Sword (hits on a 6, +3 damage)~~, Good Armour (-3 damage), Rusty dagger (hits on a 6, +2 damage), rope, grappling hook, lamp, flint and steel, poison stiletto (+1 damage, 8 doses of 2-damage-per-round poison), healing potion x2 (restores two dice rolls' worth of LIFE POINTS), magical quinine (heals malaria), tiny little golden key x9, Pigform Scroll x1 (works on a 4 or better on two dice, turns a single enemy into a 15 LIFE POINT pig that hits on a 6 for normal damage), Bottle of Grog x1, Long John Silver's Bribe (100 Gold Pieces), Cricri bird egg x6 (heals poison when eaten with purple spinach), inflatablefish's not-quite-seaworthy paper boat, vancho1's purple boat, Magic Talisman (-1 to an opponent's first dice roll in combat), Anti-poison potion x1, Caul (can ignore all "you drown, go to 14" indications), Golden ~~Fleece~~ Sweater (technically Jason's),[s] ILLUSION SPELL scroll (can be cast anytime at no cost, works on 11 or 12 on two dice, kills all enemies who roll 3 or less on one die), piece of driftwood (+2 damage)
STATUS EFFECTS: none
TREASURE: 1439 gold pieces, gems worth 1,500 gold pieces, 20 gold nuggets worth 450 gold pieces each (9,000 gold pieces total)
EMPLOYEES: none

Roll of the Dead posted:

Death the First: Snacked on by Babysaurus Rex
Death the second: transfixed by a magic song and starved to death
Death the third: chopped into tiny little pieces by a whole drat lot of guards
Death the fourth: starved to death due to digging into a banquet at the wrong time
Death the fifth: Yes! Boldly stride up through the illusionary door of the illusionary castle on top of the very real and very high cliiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..........}}*splat*

# ? Dec 26, 2015 18:02

Arbitrary Coin: Feb 17, 2012; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Awwww, its our buddy! Just lay down and relax

# ? Dec 26, 2015 19:16

FredMSloniker: Jan 2, 2008; Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Trust the Poetic Fiend. Mainly because, in my experience, not doing as the Poetic Fiend says fangs you straight to 14.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 19:30

inflatablefish: Oct 24, 2010

Our old pal the Poetic Fiend has never steered us wrong so far.
I think that we ought to trust him.

_{What? We're supposed to reply in rhyme?}

Uh, he'll soon help us get back to Avalon to recover, uh, Excalibar,
If we follow his quaint local customs.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 23:38

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

He's clearly a fiend most poetic
(though frankly, I expected something goetic).
I say we trust him
though Pip's really quite dim
and the result could be quite pathetic.

# ? Dec 27, 2015 02:41

idonotlikepeas: May 29, 2010; This reasoning is possible for forums user idonotlikepeas!

To avoid a sharp fang subcutaneous
We'll accept his help (how'ere extraneous)
And if things go wrong
(As they have all along)
We'll handle it extemporaneous

# ? Dec 27, 2015 02:58

Russ L: Feb 26, 2011

As we repose on the suggested stone bed
We could speak of the poems we�ve read
�My dear Fiend, we�ve seen quite a flood
Of odes like yours, but none half so good,
And for that matter, nor quite so undead�.

Edit:

Pip�s courage is unlikely to falter
As we lie down on this stone altar
The Fiend�s poems are toss
But he won�t double-cross
In no way is he a defaulter.

Russ L fucked around with this message at 08:29 on Dec 27, 2015

# ? Dec 27, 2015 08:23

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

You guys are the best :syoon:

Section 148 posted:

Meekly (stupidly?) you stretch out on the altar stone. The Fiend bends over you, clutching the wicked, crystal-bladed knife.

'Take that!' he exclaims, handing you the weapon. 'It is, of course, a magical blade. It never misses and will kill absolutely anything with a single blow: the only thing you have to worry about is getting in first strike. Unfortunately, once it hits, it shatters, so you can only use it once, but better than nothing, eh? Keep it carefiilly and use it wisely. Now, one more thing. You will need this as well ... ' And he hands you a tiny golden key, no bigger than the sort of thing you would find on a charm bracelet. 'Keep that carefully as well.'

'But what's it for?' you ask curiously.

'Never mind that now,' says the Fiend. 'Time is pressing. Just don't lose it (which is actually quite difficult to do since it will remain with you even in 14). Now close your eyes and listen carefully. I am about to compose another of my modestly brilliant verses. It will be incomplete. Your job is to think up a final line.'

He takes a deep breath, smiles at the waiting Demondim, and intones:

An adventurer bold named young Pip,
Was required to return to his ship.
But he never dreamed
With the help of the Fiend,
...

He pauses expectantly, waiting for you to complete the limerick.

When you do so, but not before, turn to 103.

Moving right along, just to show you what's in Section 103:

Section 103 posted:

At once a huge, crackling, electrical arc leaps from one crystal to the other and races down the pillars, spitting and hissing with a distinct smell of ozone until it reaches the altar stone where you are lying prostrate.

You are enveloped in a flash of bright blue flame. Your surroundings vanish. Momentarily all is blackness. You look around, firmly expecting to find yourself in 14, but are, in fact, back on board the Argo, clutching your crystal-bladed knife and little golden key.

When the Argonauts get over their surprise at your sudden appearance, you may turn to the Sea Chart and set sail for a new destination.

Now, after you complete the limerick, there is a choice to be made: we can go to Lost Island right away and get this book over with, since it's our final destination. Or, we could make a quick trip to check out all the tiny things we missed (one of them in particular is really really useful); but there is a chance (several, actually) that this might kill you, sending us to 14. And I will show you the things we missed after we complete the book anyway, so you'll see it no matter what you choose.

So, straight to the end, or 100% completion?

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 27 / 44+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 2
INVENTORY: Sword (hits on a 6, +3 damage), Good Armour (-3 damage), Rusty dagger (hits on a 6, +2 damage), rope, grappling hook, lamp, flint and steel, poison stiletto (+1 damage, 8 doses of 2-damage-per-round poison), healing potion x2 (restores two dice rolls' worth of LIFE POINTS), magical quinine (heals malaria), tiny little golden key x10 , Pigform Scroll x1 (works on a 4 or better on two dice, turns a single enemy into a 15 LIFE POINT pig that hits on a 6 for normal damage), Bottle of Grog x1, Long John Silver's Bribe (100 Gold Pieces), Cricri bird egg x6 (heals poison when eaten with purple spinach), inflatablefish's not-quite-seaworthy paper boat, vancho1's purple boat, Magic Talisman (-1 to an opponent's first dice roll in combat), Anti-poison potion x1, Caul (can ignore all "you drown, go to 14" indications), Golden ~~Fleece~~ Sweater (technically Jason's),[s] ILLUSION SPELL scroll (can be cast anytime at no cost, works on 11 or 12 on two dice, kills all enemies who roll 3 or less on one die), piece of driftwood (+2 damage), Crystal Knife (never misses, kills anything in one blow, shatters after one strike)
STATUS EFFECTS: none
TREASURE: 1439 gold pieces, gems worth 1,500 gold pieces, 20 gold nuggets worth 450 gold pieces each (9,000 gold pieces total)
EMPLOYEES: none

Roll of the Dead posted:

Death the First: Snacked on by Babysaurus Rex
Death the second: transfixed by a magic song and starved to death
Death the third: chopped into tiny little pieces by a whole drat lot of guards
Death the fourth: starved to death due to digging into a banquet at the wrong time
Death the fifth: Yes! Boldly stride up through the illusionary door of the illusionary castle on top of the very real and very high cliiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..........}}*splat*

# ? Dec 27, 2015 12:45

Comstar: Apr 20, 2007; Are you happy now?

An adventurer bold named young Pip,
Was required to return to his ship.
But he never dreamed
With the help of the Fiend,
He would see all the sections he missed!

# ? Dec 27, 2015 12:50

inflatablefish: Oct 24, 2010

An adventurer bold named young Pip,
Was required to return to his ship.
But he never dreamed
With the help of the Fiend,
He could focus on getting the 100% completion achievement for this entire book in but a single death-defying trip!
*breath*

_{New thread rule? Every post with anything to do with the Fiend has to be in rhyme. Yes, all the time. Unless you're a mime.}

# ? Dec 27, 2015 14:09

Junpei Hyde: Mar 15, 2013

An adventurer bold named young Pip,
Was required to return to his ship.
But he never dreamed
With the help of the Fiend,
he'd be sent on one hell of a trip!(To all the islands for that sweet, sweet, completion percentage.)

# ? Dec 27, 2015 15:04

Russ L: Feb 26, 2011

An adventurer bold named young Pip,
Was required to return to his ship.
But he never dreamed
With the help of the Fiend,
Of the gear with which he could equip!

(By acquiring it from the sections that we haven't visited).

Also, is this the first time that the Grailquest books have outright specified that Pip is 'he'? I thought that they carefully avoided that.

# ? Dec 27, 2015 16:51

idonotlikepeas: May 29, 2010; This reasoning is possible for forums user idonotlikepeas!

An adventurer bold named young Pip,
Was required to return to his ship.
But he never dreamed
With the help of the Fiend,
He'd gear up under our stewardship

But I've another verse left to share
While we for the Lost Island prepare
We should really let loose
And re-recruit that mongoose
In case any snakes we find there

# ? Dec 27, 2015 21:35

Russ L: Feb 26, 2011

Getting back to help old Camelot's ruler
Will be easier with Helogale Parvula
IDNLP's plan should proceed
That mongoose we need
After all, we have plenty of moolah.

# ? Dec 27, 2015 22:47

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

I love you, goons.

Let's take a look at the sea chart:

We've seen everything there's to see on most islands, except this very one: Demondim Isle. (And excepting "You fail, here's a monster to fight" sections, which I'll show in the post-book.)

First step in 100% completion is to... Get the moongoose, as it happens. So let's retread our steps: it's on to Skull Island at 109 (ignoring the Shadows on the coast since we've already killed them), on to 117, into the cave at 124, through the right-hand tunnel at 167, stepping towards the snake at [193, and at that very same Section recruiting Gopi Kirshna. Who, you might remember, automatically kills "Any sort of snake or serpent". Step one completed.

Now, back to Demondim Isle. This time, we shall go through the southern inlet at 33.

Section 33 posted:

Drawing steadily on the oars you approach the southern inlet. The stretch of still water points like a finger inwards. Beyond you can see the barren beach and sullen pall of this lonely, menacing island. What will you find there? What adventures await you? What -

If you had been paying attention, you might have noticed the great head emerging out of the water directly in front of you. It is approximately the size of the head of a horse; and somewhat similar in shape, except that it has the most remarkable fengs you ever saw, fully six inches long and dripping green slime, and it is attached to a long, sinuous neck.

Courageously you pull the boat around and try to run for it, but the creature moves far too swiftly for that manoeuvre. In a moment, it has reared up and is towering high above you, poised to strike.

You hardly need telling this is trouble. What we have here is undoubtedly a sea-serpent ( and a big one). These creatures, who enjoy a breakfast of maritime adventurer, have never been known to give a Friendly Reaction or accept bribes of any sort. Thus it's fight or be eaten. The Serpent has fully 80 LIFE POINTS, strikes on 6 or better and does +4 damage with those fangs.

If you get really lucky and kill it, you will lose your boat, weapons and equipment in the fight, but you will reach shore without further hassle. There you can use a piece of driftwood to fashion a +2 basher, then proceed to explore Demondim Island at 38.

If it kills you, just zip off to 14.

Oh, no, a sea-serpent! Whatever shall we do?

Gopi, if you'd please do your thing...

And then we find ourselves back on Demondim Island at 38, facing the Demondim. Now it gets tricky: this time, let's climb up to the cave at 131 instead of stepping forward to confront them.

Section 131 posted:

This will not be an easy climb. Especially since the creatures are moving faster now and will almost certainly be at the foot of the cliff before you are even halfway up.

Throw two dice. Score below 9 and go to 25. Score 9 or above and go to 48.

25 is a "You fall, lose 15 LIFE POINTS and have to face the Demondim" Section. I rolled 5, so we're down at 12 LIFE POINTS and have to circle back again (to the sacrificial altar, to the Argo, through the inlet, to 38). This time I rolled 10, so we're able to climb up.

Section 48 posted:

Below you, the Demondim are congregated, staring upwards and wailing, but making no attempt to emulate your climb. You reach the cave mouth and squeeze through without a backwards glance.

You are in a rock fissure, narrow at the mouth, but widening slightly as it penetrates northwards. Ahead of you, strangely, is a dim, blue-green luminescence which, as you move forward, you discover originates fixam clumps of mould and fungus on the walls. The light it gives off is low, but as your eyes adjust, you find it gives you at least an outline of your surroundings.

The fissure widens again, then branches, one narrow route going to the north-west, the other, more open, leading north-east. Although still concerned that the Demondim may yet follow, you nonetheless take time to consider your alternatives. The route to the north-west is so confined that should you meet anything, you would scarcely have room to swing your club. The other route is definitely wider, but if there are enemies here it is certainly the wider route they would use. And, of course, you have no means of knowing where either route leads.

Or have you? Scratched on the rock wall near the divide is a diagram which might - just might - be a plan of the caves you have entered.

Study the diagram below and make your choice.

And back to you, since going through unexplored paths on autoplay isn't fun where a choice is actually involved. In case you can't make out the letters on the diagram, they are (left to right):

<-- DRBZOD
27
CDSZG
66 XFBQPO
CDSZG
CDLNMCHL -->

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 12 / 44+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 4
INVENTORY: Sword (hits on a 6, +3 damage), Good Armour (-3 damage), Rusty dagger (hits on a 6, +2 damage), rope, grappling hook, lamp, flint and steel, poison stiletto (+1 damage, 8 doses of 2-damage-per-round poison), healing potion x2 (restores two dice rolls' worth of LIFE POINTS), magical quinine (heals malaria), tiny little golden key x10 , Pigform Scroll x1 (works on a 4 or better on two dice, turns a single enemy into a 15 LIFE POINT pig that hits on a 6 for normal damage), Bottle of Grog x1, Long John Silver's Bribe (100 Gold Pieces), Cricri bird egg x6 (heals poison when eaten with purple spinach), inflatablefish's not-quite-seaworthy paper boat, vancho1's purple boat, Magic Talisman (-1 to an opponent's first dice roll in combat), Anti-poison potion x1, Caul (can ignore all "you drown, go to 14" indications), Golden ~~Fleece~~ Sweater (technically Jason's),[s] ILLUSION SPELL scroll (can be cast anytime at no cost, works on 11 or 12 on two dice, kills all enemies who roll 3 or less on one die), piece of driftwood (+2 damage), Crystal Knife (never misses, kills anything in one blow, shatters after one strike)
STATUS EFFECTS: none
TREASURE: 1279 gold pieces, gems worth 1,500 gold pieces, 20 gold nuggets worth 450 gold pieces each (9,000 gold pieces total)
EMPLOYEES: Gopi Kirshna (automatically kills "Any sort of snake or serpent", costs 10 Gold Pieces per section visited)

Roll of the Dead posted:

Death the First: Snacked on by Babysaurus Rex
Death the second: transfixed by a magic song and starved to death
Death the third: chopped into tiny little pieces by a whole drat lot of guards
Death the fourth: starved to death due to digging into a banquet at the wrong time
Death the fifth: Yes! Boldly stride up through the illusionary door of the illusionary castle on top of the very real and very high cliiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..........}}*splat*

# ? Dec 27, 2015 23:41

FredMSloniker: Jan 2, 2008; Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

It's a simple off-by-one cipher. The dead-ends are, of course, 'DEATH'. To the left is 'ESCAPE', to the right 'DEMONDIM', and in the center... 'YGCRQP'? Okay, going the other way gives 'WEAPON'. So I'm guessing we want 66.

# ? Dec 27, 2015 23:52

Russ L: Feb 26, 2011

Hfu uif... Xfbqpo? 66.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 09:41

Jazzimus Prime: May 16, 2002; The Brothers Autobot

FredMSloniker posted:

It's a simple off-by-one cipher. The dead-ends are, of course, 'DEATH'. To the left is 'ESCAPE', to the right 'DEMONDIM', and in the center... 'YGCRQP'? Okay, going the other way gives 'WEAPON'. So I'm guessing we want 66.

One of these days, these books will have a cipher that isn't just an off-by-one, off-by-two, or off-by-thirteen, and I can contribute my true skills. :sigh:

He's right, go to 66.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 11:07

Carbon dioxide: Oct 9, 2012

If it was good enough for Caesar it is good enough for me. :colbert:

# ? Dec 28, 2015 11:15

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Moving through the cave to 66, we get to...

Section 66 posted:

You negotiate the wider passage to the north-east without incident until it opens abruptly into a large cavern. Now that your eyes have become accustomed to the fungus glow, you notice immediately that this cavem has three exits - a passageway leading due east, a passageway leading almost due north, and a third opening, wider than the others, that seems to lead into a second, smaller cavern to the north-east.

If you wish to go east, go to 34.
If you wish to go north, go to 36.
If you wish to go north-east, go to 55.
If you wish to search the cavem you are in, go to 151.

...A cavern with three exits. (Well, four, counting the one we came in from.)

Of course, we don't want any of those! The diagram Fred translated has it right: going east would get us to the same sacrificial altar we got dragged to by the Demondim, and north and north-east lead to death (via falling down a very deep shaft concealed by the luminescent fungi growing on the floor) and death (via falling into a boiling pit of lava), respectively. So let's try searching the room.

(Here I would chug a healing potion or two, just to be safe, but we lost them in the shipwreck. Bummer.)

Section 151 posted:

Since this is quite a large cavern, you begin to search methodically, mentally dividing it into sections, visualizing mini longitude and latitude lines criss-crossing the floor, allocating letters of the alphabet to those running north/south and numbers to those running east/west, correlating these co-ordinates and memorizing segments you have already searched by means of an ingenious system of colour-coding.

While you are engaged in all this psychological rubbish, you are attacked by an enraged Superlizard which was hiding in the shadows.

The Superlizard gets first strike by reason of surprise. It requires a 9 or better to hit but scores six times the damage shown by the dice if the hit is successful. The Superlizard fortunately has only 18 LIFE POINTS.

If the Superlizard kills you, go to 14.

If not, you may continue searching at 28.

Alternatively, you may go east to 34, go north to 36, or go north-east to 55.

well then.

Superlizard attacks! 2 + 6 = 8, missed.
Pip casts ILLUSION SPELL! 6 + 5 = 11, the spell works and (roll: 3) Superlizard does NOT disbelieve the illusion and is incinerated!

That was a very lucky shot, and we're doubly lucky that the Superlizard missed the first strike.

Now, what XFBQPO... I mean, weapon... did we find here?

Section 28 posted:

You've found something! It was half buried in a small heap of rubble in the comer and not at all easy to see, but your eagle eye spotted it and now you are scrabbling at the rubble to find out what it is.

Strewth, it's a crossbow! It must have been left here by a previous adventurer, since crossbows certainly weren't invented in this Time. But it's definitely a crossbow and it has six bolts buried with it in the rubble.

The crossbow is a very useful weapon here for a variety of reasons. First off, since you can fire it before an enemy reaches you with his sword, you will always get first strike. Next, it is deadly accurate, so you only need to throw a three of better to hit. Once you do hit, those little metal bolts will score 15 damage, whatever the dice show. The only bad news is that once you have used up all six bolts, the thing is quite useless to you since you can't make any more and it won't fire anything else.

If you wish to go east, go to 34.
If you wish to go north, go to 36.
If you wish to go north-east, go to 55.
If you wish to go back the way you came, return to 48.

Very nice. Very, very nice. We'll get some mileage out of this.

Now let's get back to 48, and from there go towards the path marked ~~DRBZOD~~ ESCAPE, at 27.

Section 27 posted:

The narrow passageway runs north-west for only a short distance before widening, then opening out into a high-roofed cavern chock-a-block with stalactites and stalacmites.

Although it's difficult to see any exit, you recall from the diagram that there should be one to the west somewhere and move in that direction. Sure enough, you find the passage leading west. You also find a problem. The passage may have been open when the diagram was drawn, but it is now neatly sealed oif with stalacmites and stalactites which have grown there in the interim to form bars across the entrance like a cage.

If you want to try smashing them in with your makeshift club, you may proceed as follows:

There are six of the natural pillars sealing the entrance, but a slimly handsome adventurer like yourself will need to demolish only one of them to squeeze through. Each pillar has a natural STRENGTH factor which you can determine by rolling one die. When you have determined the STRENGTH of each, select the weakest and see if you can break it by rolling two dice. If you score at least 8 points more than the STRENGTH of the pillar then it will smash. You have only one chance to test each, but you can, if you wish, test all six.

Should you manage to break through, go to 32. If not, your only option is to return to 48, check the diagram and try another direction.

STRENGTH of the six pillars: 6, 6, 1, 4, 6, 2. Let's hope this works. Three of them are right out, since we'd need at least a fourteen to smash them, so let's try the remaining three, starting with the strongest one.

Pip smashes! 3 + 1 = 4, nope. Next up, the one with 2 STRENGTH.
Pip smashes! 6 + 2 = 8, not quite. What about the weakest one?
Pip smashes! 6 + 5 = 11, there we go.

What was at 32 that was worth all this effort?

Section 32 posted:

The passageway runs westwards for quite a distance before you see light at the end - real day-light, that is, not the grotty fungus glow that seems to be all over this place.

You race ahead and find yourself staring down a sheer cliff-face: the tunnel you are in opens as a small cave-mouth in the face. For a moment you wonder why you bothered following this route (and also wonder, no doubt, why the coded message should have suggested it) but then you notice the narrow ledge path which clings to the cliff-face and leads down to the valley below. You take it, moving cautiously, and eventually find yourself on the valley floor.

The valley itself runs north/south, more or less. To the south you can see smoke of some sort rising. To the north the valley seems to open out on to a flat, if rocky, plane.

To go south, turn to 107.
To go north, try 68.

Nothing much, except two new paths to explore. Where to now?

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 12 / 44+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 5
INVENTORY: Sword (hits on a 6, +3 damage), Good Armour (-3 damage), Rusty dagger (hits on a 6, +2 damage), rope, grappling hook, lamp, flint and steel, poison stiletto (+1 damage, 8 doses of 2-damage-per-round poison), healing potion x2 (restores two dice rolls' worth of LIFE POINTS), magical quinine (heals malaria), tiny little golden key x10, Pigform Scroll x1 (works on a 4 or better on two dice, turns a single enemy into a 15 LIFE POINT pig that hits on a 6 for normal damage), Bottle of Grog x1, Long John Silver's Bribe (100 Gold Pieces), Cricri bird egg x6 (heals poison when eaten with purple spinach), inflatablefish's not-quite-seaworthy paper boat, vancho1's purple boat, Magic Talisman (-1 to an opponent's first dice roll in combat), Anti-poison potion x1, Caul (can ignore all "you drown, go to 14" indications), Golden ~~Fleece~~ Sweater (technically Jason's),[s] ILLUSION SPELL scroll (can be cast anytime at no cost, works on 11 or 12 on two dice, kills all enemies who roll 3 or less on one die), piece of driftwood (+2 damage), Crystal Knife (never misses, kills anything in one blow, shatters after one strike), Crossbow (automatically gets first strike, hits on a three or better, 15 damage, 6 bolts remaining)
STATUS EFFECTS: none
TREASURE: 1229 gold pieces, gems worth 1,500 gold pieces, 20 gold nuggets worth 450 gold pieces each (9,000 gold pieces total)
EMPLOYEES: Gopi Kirshna (automatically kills "Any sort of snake or serpent", costs 10 Gold Pieces per section visited)

Roll of the Dead posted:

Death the First: Snacked on by Babysaurus Rex
Death the second: transfixed by a magic song and starved to death
Death the third: chopped into tiny little pieces by a whole drat lot of guards
Death the fourth: starved to death due to digging into a banquet at the wrong time
Death the fifth: Yes! Boldly stride up through the illusionary door of the illusionary castle on top of the very real and very high cliiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..........}}*splat*

# ? Dec 28, 2015 19:16

inflatablefish: Oct 24, 2010

Let's check out the smoke to the south!

(I'm hoping that this is what my vague and dim recollections of this book think it is.)

# ? Dec 28, 2015 20:49

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

South it is, then!

Section 107 posted:

This does not look particularly promising. The smoke you saw is not smoke at all, but volcanic fumes. They rise from craters in the rocks, filling the air with a choking pall. All the same, your choice of direction may not have been entirely bad. From beyond a rise you can hear a peculiar sound, like the hammering of metal. You move forward cautiously to investigate, peer over the rise half hidden by a rock, and find yourself staring down at one of the most remarkable sights you have ever seen.

You are undoubtedly staring into a shallow volcanic crater. A lava pool bubbles in the centre of the crater floor. Beside it, naked to the waist and streaming sweat, is a bearded giant of a man, toiling with a massive hammer as he beats out what is undoubtedly a metal breastplate on an armourer's anvil.

Fascinated, you watch as he dips the breastplate into the lava pool to heat and soften the metal. More fascinating still, he uses no tongs, but handles the red-hot metal with bare hands - and without any apparent injury. He works with remarkable speed and skill, for you can see the armour forming before your very eyes, moulded in the Roman manner and finished with a craftsman's delicacy.

'You there!' the man calls suddenly. 'Come down!'

He has not looked round, nor is there any way he could have heard you over the noise of his own hammering, but all the same there can be no doubt at all he is aware of your presence.

You emerge a little sheepishly from behind your rock and move down the slope of the crater. As you near him, he turns and throws the breastplate at your feet. Even in this moment of surprise, you note that the size and shape seem made for you.

He sets down the hammer and wipes the sweat from is brow. 'There now: let it cool then you can wear it.'

'Excuse me. Sir,' you say hesitantly, 'but is this breastplate for me?'

'It is. Or it will be if you pass the test.'

Test? There's always a catch. All the same, it's a fine breastplate. 'May I ask who you are, sir?' you enquire pohtely.

'You may. And since I am in good humour I shall answer. My name is Vulcan. I'm a smith by trade.'

'I see,' you nod. He is, of course, quite barmy. Everybody knows Vulcan is a myth. The ancients thought of him as the God of Blacksmiths, but what did they know? All the same, it pays to humour anybody as big as this, so you simply say politely, 'Pleased to meet you, Mr Vulcan.'

'And I to meet you. I've heard quite a bit about your adventures, although I never thought it likely we'd actually meet. What do you think of your breastplate?'

'It seems very well made.'

'It is very well made. It will stop the first two blows delivered against you completely, whatever the dice show. After that, it acts as -4 armour for the rest of the combat. Cunning workmanship, eh?'

'Very cunning, sir. But...' you add hesitantly, '...you said something about a test...'

Vulcan shrugs. 'A small thing. You have only to defeat me in unarmed combat.'

You stare at this muscular giant, wondering if you dare. He looks as though he could break you in half with one hand nailed behind his back. But it is a very fine breastplate and you could certainly do with some decent armour.

If you decide to accept the challenge, go to 29.

If not, Vulcan will allow you to return to 32 and pick another direction.

Well. It's not every day you get a chance to throw down with a god.

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 12 / 44+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 5
INVENTORY: Sword (hits on a 6, +3 damage), Good Armour (-3 damage), Rusty dagger (hits on a 6, +2 damage), rope, grappling hook, lamp, flint and steel, poison stiletto (+1 damage, 8 doses of 2-damage-per-round poison), healing potion x2 (restores two dice rolls' worth of LIFE POINTS), magical quinine (heals malaria), tiny little golden key x10, Pigform Scroll x1 (works on a 4 or better on two dice, turns a single enemy into a 15 LIFE POINT pig that hits on a 6 for normal damage), Bottle of Grog x1, Long John Silver's Bribe (100 Gold Pieces), Cricri bird egg x6 (heals poison when eaten with purple spinach), inflatablefish's not-quite-seaworthy paper boat, vancho1's purple boat, Magic Talisman (-1 to an opponent's first dice roll in combat), Anti-poison potion x1, Caul (can ignore all "you drown, go to 14" indications), Golden ~~Fleece~~ Sweater (technically Jason's),[s] ILLUSION SPELL scroll (can be cast anytime at no cost, works on 11 or 12 on two dice, kills all enemies who roll 3 or less on one die), piece of driftwood (+2 damage), Crystal Knife (never misses, kills anything in one blow, shatters after one strike), Crossbow (automatically gets first strike, hits on a three or better, 15 damage, 6 bolts remaining)
STATUS EFFECTS: none
TREASURE: 1219 gold pieces, gems worth 1,500 gold pieces, 20 gold nuggets worth 450 gold pieces each (9,000 gold pieces total)
EMPLOYEES: Gopi Kirshna (automatically kills "Any sort of snake or serpent", costs 10 Gold Pieces per section visited)

Roll of the Dead posted:

Death the First: Snacked on by Babysaurus Rex
Death the second: transfixed by a magic song and starved to death
Death the third: chopped into tiny little pieces by a whole drat lot of guards
Death the fourth: starved to death due to digging into a banquet at the wrong time
Death the fifth: Yes! Boldly stride up through the illusionary door of the illusionary castle on top of the very real and very high cliiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..........}}*splat*

# ? Dec 29, 2015 20:57

idonotlikepeas: May 29, 2010; This reasoning is possible for forums user idonotlikepeas!

When someone asks you to wrestle a god, you say yes!

# ? Dec 29, 2015 21:05

Mikl: Nov 8, 2009; Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!

Section 29 posted:

Vulcan flexes his muscles and moves towards you. 'Now then,' he says, 'the ground-rules. I have 100,000 LIFE POINTS and -'

Excuse me, sir,' you interrupt. 'How many LIFE POINTS?'

'One hundred thousand. It's the active life I lead. I'm also immune to damage from weapons, even magical weapons, so you're going to have to use your fists. I shall be using my hammer in the contest, of course: it's not strictly a war-hammer, but it gives +50 on damage so it will just have to do.'

Are you sure you want the armour this badly? You may still go back to 32 and pick another direction.

Alternatively, the great contest with Vulcan will take place at 144.

Wait, wasn't this unarmed combat? What about the hammer?

_{Actually, can we have the hammer instead of the armour? It would be more useful, and we could pretend to be Thor while smacking enemies into submission...}

Pip's Stat Block posted:

LIFE POINTS: 12 / 44+1
EXPERIENCE POINTS: 5
INVENTORY: Sword (hits on a 6, +3 damage), Good Armour (-3 damage), Rusty dagger (hits on a 6, +2 damage), rope, grappling hook, lamp, flint and steel, poison stiletto (+1 damage, 8 doses of 2-damage-per-round poison), healing potion x2 (restores two dice rolls' worth of LIFE POINTS), magical quinine (heals malaria), tiny little golden key x10, Pigform Scroll x1 (works on a 4 or better on two dice, turns a single enemy into a 15 LIFE POINT pig that hits on a 6 for normal damage), Bottle of Grog x1, Long John Silver's Bribe (100 Gold Pieces), Cricri bird egg x6 (heals poison when eaten with purple spinach), inflatablefish's not-quite-seaworthy paper boat, vancho1's purple boat, Magic Talisman (-1 to an opponent's first dice roll in combat), Anti-poison potion x1, Caul (can ignore all "you drown, go to 14" indications), Golden ~~Fleece~~ Sweater (technically Jason's),[s] ILLUSION SPELL scroll (can be cast anytime at no cost, works on 11 or 12 on two dice, kills all enemies who roll 3 or less on one die), piece of driftwood (+2 damage), Crystal Knife (never misses, kills anything in one blow, shatters after one strike), Crossbow (automatically gets first strike, hits on a three or better, 15 damage, 6 bolts remaining)
STATUS EFFECTS: none
TREASURE: 1209 gold pieces, gems worth 1,500 gold pieces, 20 gold nuggets worth 450 gold pieces each (9,000 gold pieces total)
EMPLOYEES: Gopi Kirshna (automatically kills "Any sort of snake or serpent", costs 10 Gold Pieces per section visited)

Roll of the Dead posted:

Death the First: Snacked on by Babysaurus Rex
Death the second: transfixed by a magic song and starved to death
Death the third: chopped into tiny little pieces by a whole drat lot of guards
Death the fourth: starved to death due to digging into a banquet at the wrong time
Death the fifth: Yes! Boldly stride up through the illusionary door of the illusionary castle on top of the very real and very high cliiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiii_{iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..........}}*splat*

# ? Dec 29, 2015 23:01

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 18:27

inflatablefish: Oct 24, 2010

Of course! Onward to the great contest with Vulcan which will take place at section 14!

Uh, I mean section 144.

# ? Dec 29, 2015 23:09

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Let's Play the Grailquest series! (If this kills you, go to 14.)

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