Star Wars: Millenial Trash Discussion Station

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nerdbot: Mar 16, 2012

Jerkface posted:

I didnt like Chewbacca personally assisting Yoda, one of the greatest jedi masters ever, fight in the giant jedi battles of the clone wars, because it undermines Han Solo's disbelief in the force in the OT. His 1st mate and only friend literally fought right next to a super jedi.

I must now assume that Han does not actually understand Chewie because then it makes more sense to me

Han: Pfft Jedi? the force? aint nothin like a good blaster at your side
Chewie: Rarrarahrahrararar hrarr (actually the force is real and i once helped Yoda, a jedi master, escape from the destruction of the Jedi)
Han: Yea we do gotta work on those power couplings, buddy

I kind of both hate the convenience of Chewbacca being there in Revenge of the Sith, and love the fact that Yoda and Chewbacca teamed up once and that of COURSE Yoda only survived genocide with the help from someone as strong as Chewbacca

But yeah I like this too.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 06:01

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# ? May 29, 2024 09:35

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

There's a Facebook group of 4,000 people who have been posting spoilers all over the internet for weeks until Disney gives into their demands to keep making Extended Universe books.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 06:07

turtlecrunch: May 14, 2013; Hesitation is defeat.

Won't they just make new books/didn't they already make new books?

# ? Dec 28, 2015 06:09

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

Luigi Thirty posted:

There's a Facebook group of 4,000 people who have been posting spoilers all over the internet for weeks until Disney gives into their demands to keep making Extended Universe books.

That's hilarious. Disney is so powerful, they could petition to have a seat on the UN Security Council.

4,000 people are officially pissing into the wind.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 06:09

jivjov: Sep 13, 2007; But how does it taste? Yummy!; Dinosaur Gum

turtlecrunch posted:

Won't they just make new books/didn't they already make new books?

They specifically want more stories in the Legends continuity. They basically feel that the new Canon somehow made Legends less...existent.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 06:11

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

turtlecrunch posted:

Won't they just make new books/didn't they already make new books?

They are making new books. They're mad they aren't still making old books about their waifu Mara Jade or clone Luuuuuuuuuke Skywalker.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 06:12

Dr. Fishopolis: Aug 31, 2004; ROBOT

no, you see it's about ethics in star wars journalism

# ? Dec 28, 2015 06:13

Beefstew: Oct 30, 2010; I told you that story so I could tell you this one...

Luigi Thirty posted:

They are making new books. They're mad they aren't still making old books about their waifu Mara Jade or clone Luuuuuuuuuke Skywalker.

Because they killed Mara.

Seriously, I don't know anybody who even kept up with the books after that. Good riddance to that whole continuity.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 06:16

MonsieurChoc: Oct 12, 2013; Every species can smell its own extinction.

I quit the Star Wars "fandom" when I tested the wretched abortion of a game Star Wars the Force Unleashed for an entire year. Goddamn was that game terrible.

And then the storyline went even more retarded than it already was with the whole Darth Jacen storyline so I felt justified by my choice.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 06:22

Blue Story: Jul 8, 2013

Maxwell Lord posted:

I'm not really sure what the point was of having Finn in a coma at the end. Maybe the plan for Ep. 8 is to start with him waking up and I guess time has passed and... I dunno, but it was an odd story beat to have at the end of the movie instead of him just being wounded.

I took it as an easy time-saving way to explain how Rey was able to go find Luke without Finn insisting on tagging along.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 06:41

ImpAtom: May 24, 2007

MonsieurChoc posted:

I quit the Star Wars "fandom" when I tested the wretched abortion of a game Star Wars the Force Unleashed for an entire year. Goddamn was that game terrible.

And then the storyline went even more retarded than it already was with the whole Darth Jacen storyline so I felt justified by my choice.

You did a poor job a testing it with how buggy it was. :colbert:

(Just joking, that's entirely on the lovely development team.)

# ? Dec 28, 2015 06:42

computer parts: Nov 18, 2010; PLEASE CLAP

Jerkface posted:

I didnt like Chewbacca personally assisting Yoda, one of the greatest jedi masters ever, fight in the giant jedi battles of the clone wars, because it undermines Han Solo's disbelief in the force in the OT. His 1st mate and only friend literally fought right next to a super jedi.

I must now assume that Han does not actually understand Chewie because then it makes more sense to me

Han: Pfft Jedi? the force? aint nothin like a good blaster at your side
Chewie: Rarrarahrahrararar hrarr (actually the force is real and i once helped Yoda, a jedi master, escape from the destruction of the Jedi)
Han: Yea we do gotta work on those power couplings, buddy

Then again, if you heard that your friend fought along side a 3 foot tall green man that does backflips with a laser sword, you would think he's loving with you as well.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 06:57

MonsieurChoc: Oct 12, 2013; Every species can smell its own extinction.

ImpAtom posted:

You did a poor job a testing it with how buggy it was.

(Just joking, that's entirely on the lovely development team.)

During the last few months, we had jack-poo poo to do because we'd already bugged all the bugs and the devs were refusing to fix them. Usually with condescending comments.

The example I always use is when we bugged the fact that the rain on Raxus Prime went through all the walls. A small cosmetic bug, but a pretty obvious one. Dev comment? "It's space rain. Not a bug."

# ? Dec 28, 2015 07:14

teagone: Jun 10, 2003; That was pretty intense, huh?

I can't remember if I read this idea here, or elsewhere, but one theory I found interesting and had fun discussing with friends and family today at another holiday party is that Rey is a Kenobi, and the Force is basically pitting the Kenobis against the Skywalkers to balance itself. Anakin had his chance at being "the one" but kind of hosed up, so now the Force has manifested itself in Rey; she'd basically be the Kenobi family's version of Anakin, which would explain why she's so strong in the Force. It's speculation based on how the Skywalkers are more prone to the dark side or something of that nature, so the Force gave up on them, heh. Some of us agreed that Rey being Luke's daughter is too obvious.

So if Rey is Kenobi's granddaughter, we'd assume that she was a padawan at Luke's new temple, Luke sees potential in her, maybe finds out she's a Kenobi and starts to focus on her more and Ben gets jealous, causing him to turn to the dark side and murder everyone, forcing Luke to flee with Rey, and drops her off on Jakku to protect her while he sorts poo poo out.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 07:19

CelticPredator: Oct 11, 2013; 🍀👽🆚🪖🏋

Timelines don't match. Rey is 20 years old.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 07:24

Motto: Aug 3, 2013

MonsieurChoc posted:

I quit the Star Wars "fandom" when I tested the wretched abortion of a game Star Wars the Force Unleashed for an entire year. Goddamn was that game terrible.

And silly as hell to boot. You, Darth Vader's secret apprentice who's actually a secret plot to sniff out and destroy any potential rebels, either ends up creating the Alliance or loving up and becoming Darth Vader's replacement. Then there's the Ultimate Cool Bad Dude Sith DLC where you kill Ben Kenobi, his force ghost somehow, Luke, Han, Chewy, and Jedi Leia. Fun.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 07:24

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

Beefstew posted:

Because they killed Mara. Seriously, I don't know anybody who even kept up with the books after that. Good riddance to that whole continuity.

I recently learned that not only are there space ferrets, but someone wrote a book about how the male space ferrets are fighting for equality in the face of being seen as sub-ferret breeding stock by the female space ferrets.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 07:27

teagone: Jun 10, 2003; That was pretty intense, huh?

CelticPredator posted:

Timelines don't match. Rey is 20 years old.

How old is Kylo Ren? Based on the theory, I don't think it'd be a stretch if Kenobi had a son or daughter (unbeknownst to him possibly?) around Luke/Han/Leia's age that were eventually parents to Rey.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 07:29

ImpAtom: May 24, 2007

MonsieurChoc posted:

During the last few months, we had jack-poo poo to do because we'd already bugged all the bugs and the devs were refusing to fix them. Usually with condescending comments.

The example I always use is when we bugged the fact that the rain on Raxus Prime went through all the walls. A small cosmetic bug, but a pretty obvious one. Dev comment? "It's space rain. Not a bug."

"it's space rain" is a level of not giving a poo poo that is almost charming. Almost.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 07:31

MonsieurChoc: Oct 12, 2013; Every species can smell its own extinction.

It was the most 90s bloodpouches game since the 90s. The only two characters with any personalities were the old blind Jedi and the killbot and they got sacrificed to make the main character "cooler". Urgh.

And it's, like, there's so many interesting alien races in Star Wars, why take the most boring answer possible and make the MC a generic white dude with a crew cut?

# ? Dec 28, 2015 07:32

The MSJ: May 17, 2010

ImpAtom posted:

"it's space rain" is a level of not giving a poo poo that is almost charming. Almost.

Character clips though walls - Force phasing

Character falls outside of the level - you are getting a force vision of the level layout.

Messed up geometry on characters' faces - your character have space madness

# ? Dec 28, 2015 07:46

Nessus: Dec 22, 2003; After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!

MonsieurChoc posted:

It was the most 90s bloodpouches game since the 90s. The only two characters with any personalities were the old blind Jedi and the killbot and they got sacrificed to make the main character "cooler". Urgh.

And it's, like, there's so many interesting alien races in Star Wars, why take the most boring answer possible and make the MC a generic white dude with a crew cut?

The target audience are generic white dudes with crew cuts

# ? Dec 28, 2015 07:53

hiddenriverninja: May 10, 2013; life is locomotion
keep moving
trust that you'll find your way

teagone posted:

How old is Kylo Ren? Based on the theory, I don't think it'd be a stretch if Kenobi had a son or daughter (unbeknownst to him possibly?) around Luke/Han/Leia's age that were eventually parents to Rey.

I think the behind the scenes book places him at 30 and Rey at 19.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 07:59

MonsieurChoc: Oct 12, 2013; Every species can smell its own extinction.

The MSJ posted:

Character clips though walls - Force phasing

Character falls outside of the level - you are getting a force vision of the level layout.

Messed up geometry on characters' faces - your character have space madness

I feel like I'm having a vietnam flashback. Were you one of them?

# ? Dec 28, 2015 08:13

Comrade Fakename: Feb 13, 2012

HookedOnChthonics posted:

You mean... most Star Wars fans under the age of about 17?

I kinda agree that this film was a big ol' baindaid and a kiss from JJ promising that shh, it doesn't have to hurt anymore, but I will be very disappointed if they don't move past that into new territory for the next few (and I will view this one much less charitably if it's an indication of things to come rather than a clearing of the deck).

But jeez, the sooner you realize that a) the prequels are way, way more competent (if not entertaining) than people give them credit for, b) kids fuckin' love 'em, and everything about them except the kissing and c) if Star Wars is defined entirely by fandom expectations and gen-x nostalgia it would/will be utterly terrible the happier i think you will be with the franchise.

The issue isn't whether I like the prequels or not (though, for the record, I don't), the point I was making is that JJ hates the prequels. I mean, the opening line is "This will begin to make things right", how clear do you need it to be?

This is a film where an idealistic young person dressed much like Luke Skywalker claims the mantle of Star Wars from its rightful heir, a whining teenager with a twirling novelty lightsaber, and then beats him black and blue with it. You don't need political cartoon-esque labels to work out what's going on.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 08:46

DStecks: Feb 6, 2012

I literally just now realized that George Lucas absolutely did not have anybody look over the Ep1 script, or write a second draft, because all of the film's much-hated politics could have made perfect sense with only a change to the opening crawl. Like so:

STAR WARS
EPISODE I
THE PHANTOM MENACE

The Galaxy is at peace. Decades of conflict in the
Colonies have come to an end, but a thousand
worlds lie in ruins. Queen PADME AMIDALA of
NABOO has proposed a tax on galactic trade,
to finance the rebuilding of the ravaged worlds,
but the greedy TRADE FEDERATION has laid a
blockade of her homeworld, to force her to
withdraw the bill. Now, Jedi knights QUI-GON
JINN and OBI-WAN KENOBI travel on a mission
to assess the threat of the Federation blockade...

# ? Dec 28, 2015 08:54

computer parts: Nov 18, 2010; PLEASE CLAP

The only difference as far as I can tell is that Amidala looks a little better. It still has ~~politics~~ in the form of tax bills.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 08:59

Queering Wheel: Jun 18, 2011

Obi-Wan wasn't even a Jedi Knight at the time. :goonsay:

# ? Dec 28, 2015 09:22

teagone: Jun 10, 2003; That was pretty intense, huh?

MrSmokes posted:

Obi-Wan wasn't even a Jedi Knight at the time.

Sensing something more sinister at play,
Master Yoda, leader of the mysterious and revered
Jedi Knights, has sent Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice,
Obi-Wan Kenobi, on a secret mission to assess
the threat of the Federation blockade...

# ? Dec 28, 2015 09:50

PiedPiper: Jan 1, 2014

Scratch Qui-Gon. It should be "Master Yoda has sent Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, who is the best pilot in the galaxy and a good friend".

# ? Dec 28, 2015 09:59

Freakazoid_: Jul 5, 2013; Buglord

Powered Descent posted:

I ran Rey through a Mary Sue test (this one, from the top of a google search), using some reasonable assumptions for the screenwriters and being as pessimistic as possible, checking every box that might possibly be revealed to be true in the sequels -- e.g. "is any form of royalty or nobility but doesn't know it".

Even checking all the boxes for things like "has magical powers" and "picks up complex skills astonishingly quickly", she doesn't even register on the Mary Sue scale.

I think some of you have never seen the true horrors of bad fanfiction. If she were a real Mary Sue, as soon as she looked over her oh-so-stylish sunglasses and batted her violet-colored eyes at Han, he'd declare that she was the best pilot he'd ever seen and he wanted to marry her.

Yo that's a neat little test, but I put Rey through that and came away with what seems to be a borderline score.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 10:49

teagone: Jun 10, 2003; That was pretty intense, huh?

PiedPiper posted:

Scratch Qui-Gon. It should be "Master Yoda has sent Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, who is the best pilot in the galaxy and a good friend".

I mean, if we're talking fan-fiction:

code:

Episode I

RISE OF THE CLONES

The galaxy is at war.
Disgruntled clone colonies
have invaded the Republic
Capital under command
of General Dooku.

Queen Amidala of Naboo has 
informed the senate that her 
clone army will aid Republic 
allies in retaking the capital, 
but unknown to them, Dooku has 
dispatched a fleet of new STAR 
DESTROYERS to intercept the
Queen's forces as they mobilize.

Sensing the overwhelming 
danger, Master Yoda, leader 
of the mysterious Jedi Order, 
has sent one of his knights on 
a mission to extract the Queen 
of Naboo to safety....

teagone fucked around with this message at 13:05 on Dec 28, 2015

# ? Dec 28, 2015 13:01

PiedPiper: Jan 1, 2014

Sounds decent, though RISE OF THE CLONES is a horrible name.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 13:16

stev: Jan 22, 2013; Please be excited.

PiedPiper posted:

Sounds decent, though RISE OF THE CLONES is a horrible name.

There has never been a Star Wars product with a good name.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 13:18

teagone: Jun 10, 2003; That was pretty intense, huh?

PiedPiper posted:

Sounds decent, though RISE OF THE CLONES is a horrible name.

That was on purpose, hehe.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 13:28

BloodBag: Sep 20, 2008; WITNESS ME!

Steve2911 posted:

There has never been a Star Wars product with a good name.

Star Wars: Tie Fighter

:colbert:

# ? Dec 28, 2015 13:30

Krowley: Feb 15, 2008

PiedPiper posted:

Sounds decent, though RISE OF THE CLONES is a horrible name.

Agreed, should've called it RISE OF THE DOOKU: THE FIRST STAR WAR

# ? Dec 28, 2015 13:32

PiedPiper: Jan 1, 2014

Krowley posted:

Agreed, should've called it RISE OF THE DOOKU: THE FIRST STAR WAR

THE DOOKU RISES BACK: RETURN OF A NEW STAR WARS

# ? Dec 28, 2015 13:38

Doronin: Nov 22, 2002; Don't be scared

Luigi Thirty posted:

They are making new books. They're mad they aren't still making old books about their waifu Mara Jade or clone Luuuuuuuuuke Skywalker.

This just reminded me how glad I am that I just stuck my head in the sand and pretended the old EU was non-canonical/didn't exist long before Disney bought everything. The Zahn books were pretty fun, in spite of some of the sillier poo poo that popped up, but I hated how nearly every single author turned every character into their personal action figure that just stormed around kicking rear end and fighting, all the time, hurrying to the next big fight. It just always felt like trying to read a novelization of Double Dragon to me.

The new books, so far that I've read, have been pretty good. Aftermath was a scattered mess until roughly halfway through and hard to follow, but finished strong. Now I'm reading Lost Stars, and so far, it's off to a good start.

# ? Dec 28, 2015 13:44

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# ? May 29, 2024 09:35

OctoberCountry: Oct 9, 2012

MonsieurChoc posted:

I quit the Star Wars "fandom" when I tested the wretched abortion of a game Star Wars the Force Unleashed for an entire year. Goddamn was that game terrible.

And then the storyline went even more retarded than it already was with the whole Darth Jacen storyline so I felt justified by my choice.

drat you have my sympathies having to test that garbage. Wasn't Lucasarts basically in shambles and constantly changing management at that point?

# ? Dec 28, 2015 13:48

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