BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
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Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

the Highlanders.

# ? Jan 15, 2016 19:30

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# ? May 30, 2024 08:13

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Super-League XVIII, Week 6: The Important Thing is that I Tried!

Games of the Week

Don May posted:

SPACE FISH TAKE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP WITH 12-4 DRUBBING OF W'S

Bolton- Truly, this series represented a purely incredible turn of events.

Coming into the season, FairGame was mocked thoroughly and appropriately for relying on a Kevin Brown-heavy rotation. Many jokes centered around the fact that brown is the most common color of fecal matter, and proceeded to liken the Space Fish's pitching staff to said fecal matter. Others made jokes about the Space Fish being cooked until golden brown, though it was conceded that this line of mockery was less successful than the first. In any event, the consensus is that the Kevin Brown strategy could not succeed in the Super-League.

And, in fairness, it still might not. For all of the tremendous, and vaguely suspicious, help that the Kevin Browns have given the Space Fish, they still remain mired in third place in the Senor Goodtimes, only a couple games ahead of Triple H, another team that is overperforming. One could even make the case that if the Brown regress to the mean, even slightly, that the Space Fish might be utterly doomed.

Still, after beating the W's four straight times in the Coliseum and winning the Intercontinental Championship, one has to wonder if maybe, somehow, the Space Fish might just be able to pull it off. After all, they should have imploded in this series. They were facing the division-leading W's in the Coliseum, which has historically been very unfriendly to non-deadball right-handers, and they were facing the left-handed power of a lineup anchored by Babe Ruth. One would have expected the Space Fish to lose the series, or at least lose a game in the series. Instead, they won all four games, including today's 12-4 rout of the W's.

FairGame, of course, was not surprised. "As the Ombudsman of the Super-League, it is my honor to award the Intercontinental Championship to the owner of the Kozmic Space Fish, who is, of course, me. A lot of people, mostly Smasher Dynamo, assumed that my team would be an afterthought this season. I heard from a reliable source that, prior to this season, when he was getting the banners of teams together, he actually looked for a copy of my team's banner in last season's Sub-Par League, because he thought so little of us that he had forgotten that we were in the Super-League last season. He thought that the Space Fish were nothing more than filler, just some team to finish in the second division, and possibly get demoted."

"And, it goes without saying that he further mocked my team for collecting a mostly Kevin Brown rotation. Smasher Dynamo has always been against forward-thinking owners. That is not news, nor is it a new trend. In fact, it has been occurring since the beginning. As many of you know, echopapa, and owner of a team in the first Super-League, had begged with Smasher Dynamo for leave to make a more interesting team. He had wanted to make an all-Jewish team, even if, in so doing, he would be technically violating all rules of team construction. And Smasher turned him down, claiming that he was concerned about competitive balance. A man came to Smasher with an idea, a good idea for a team, and Smasher said 'no, I hate creativity, and, just to prove it, I'm going to write variations of the same game of the week over and over for at least 18 seasons!'"

"But I'm willing to speak truth to power. I'm willing to stand right up to Smasher and say, 'there's no reason not to use as many Kevin Browns as possible, no matter what you think.' Many people will tell you that Smasher is not wrong, that using that many Kevin Browns is begging for trouble. I submit that it's just evidence of Smasher Dynamo's long-seated hatred for innovation. The Space Fish are on the cutting edge of Super-League technology. The Coldplayers, Commission and Zephyrs all represent earlier, failed attempts to create a uniformity of starting pitchers, but they all failed because they chose the wrong pitcher to build around. In theory, if a team could get enough copies of the same pitcher, of similar ages, then they would be able to tailor their home ballpark and defense behind him perfectly, and emphasize the best attributes of that pitcher. The Space Fish are on the brink of greatness, and should be celebrated as such. Instead, you have the press claiming our victory over the W's as some sort of monumental upset, the likes of which has rarely been seen in the Super-League. That is a shameful way to fete the new Intercontinental Champions, and I hope, though cannot say that I expect, an apology from Smasher Dynamo to be forthcoming."

ForeverBWFC took the loss in stride, "These things happen. I've lost count of the number of titles that I've lost over the years. A dozen? Maybe more? It's hard to say. Titles come and titles go, the important thing is that we won it at one point, and that will be part of our banner forever. The W's are still in first place in their division, and assuming we can hold off the Dragons, which has never been a problem, and the Rakers, which is a bigger problem, then I think we've got a great chance to get back to the playoffs, and with the Smasher League field being so weak, it could be the time for us to get our third Super-League Championship."

Asked about the relatively lackluster performance of his starting pitchers in this series, ForeverBWFC threw up his hands, "Losing Pete Alexander hurt immensely, we don't have a guy on the roster capable of replacing him. As for the rest, I've talked it over with Smasher, and he's agreed to make some modifications to Wanderlei Bolton to see if he can't be made a bit more consistent. That should help. But Alexander should be back in two weeks, and I'm told that a lot of the problems that McDowell and Johnson are having is down to bad luck. I think it's the sort of situation we'll have to ride out. I know that the Doom and Rakers are dealing with the same problem basically, it's just one of those things."

GAME NOTES

-Technically, it wasn't Kevin Brown who got the win in this game, it was Luis Tiant, the only non-Brown starter in the Space Fish rotation. The other three games were started by Kevin Browns, though.

-The Space Fish do a lot of things well, but one would think a team built around a groundball pitcher would have better infield defense. Or at least an infield that doesn't feature Edgar Martinez.

-The W's bullpen did not have a good day.

Box Score

Don May posted:

BOMBERS WIN TELEVISION TITLE, MOVE INTO FIRST PLACE WITH 3-2 WIN OVER PANDERERS

Oklahoma City- One could see the disaster coming.

Up 3-2, and entering the ninth, there was a palpable feeling of imminent doom for the Bombers. After all, how many times has this team taken a narrow lead into the late innings, only to meltdown as dramatically as possible? And how many times had Pander made the Bombers look utterly inept? And how many times had the Bombers been on the cusp of greatness, only to blow it at the last moment. The game was clearly set up to be another crushing loss for the Bombers, all the more for Pander to crow about until the end of time.

And, it certainly seemed to be going in that direction after Curt Walker managed to reach base on a single with one out, and then effortlessly steal second. It would be the most Bombers' thing that ever was to lose to a no-name like Curt Walker, and, yet, there he was, the tying run in scoring position, and Mariano Rivera now had to face two high-contact hitters in a row, with a base hit from either likely leading to a tie game.

That could have happened, it's easy to picture, but it was not how this game ended, as Rivera retired both Eddie Collins and Bobby Wallace on fly outs, and took the Television Title, sole possession of first place in the Senor Goodtimes Division, the overall best record in the Smasher League after six weeks, and, most importantly, peace of mind.

"We did it!" mentholmoose said after the game, the Television Title slung over his shoulder. "Finally, after a million billion seasons, we kicked the loving poo poo out of Pander's team! I'm not sure why it took this much effort given that we're starting guys like Babe Ruth, and the Panderers are playing guys like Cliff Lee and Curt Walker. And it's not even the good Cliff Lee, too. Still, whatever it was that was holding us back is gone, the Bombers are the best in the Smasher League, we're on the way up, we don't have any major injuries, and Ron Santo even hit a home run this week like I had asked him too. Hell, Babe Ruth is on pace for 50 home runs, too. It's all coming together so perfectly that..."

mentholmoose grabbed his head in a panic. "It's too perfect! Of course, I was so blind! Pander clearly has me hooked up to some sort of Inception-type machine, and we're in my dreams, and he's trying to incept something into my brain." mentholmoose looked at the Television Title. "Of course, it's so simple, the Television Title that I'm holding isn't real, it's the symbol of the idea that Pander planted in my mind with his Inception technology. But I know how to beat him." mentholmoose took out his well-used suicide pistol. "If this is a dream, all I have to do is shoot myself in the head, and I'll wake up, and Pander's master plan to incept me will have failed!"

Pander rushed in. "Wait, don't shoot!" He screamed.

"I knew you'd show up trying to stop me from shooting myself in the head." mentholmoose cocked the gun. "What's the matter, Pander, afraid that I'm on to your Inception-plan?"

"No!" Pander protested. "This isn't part of my Inception plan! I don't even have an Inception plan!"

"Aha!" mentholmoose pumped his fist. "So it's a Matrix-plan, is it? I'm strapped to some sort of network of plugged-in humans that you're using to power your team?"

"No!" Pander protested even louder. "How would that even work?"

"You plug in a bunch of people, and harvest the heat energy they give off."

Pander looked irritated. "That would break the laws of thermodynamics! It takes more energy to, you know what, no, that's stupid, shut up!"

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't shoot myself in the head right now!" mentholmoose demanded, pointing his gun at his temple.

"Listen, mentholmoose, it's very important to me that you don't kill yourself right now, which is what would happen if you pull that trigger. If you died right now, Smasher would probably give your team to some half-competent owner, and with the amount of talent on the Bombers, I don't know that I could beat them with the Panderers as currently constituted. I need you, mentholmoose, I need you to stick around and keep making bad roster decisions, and to reflexively panic when things don't go your way, and to, one day, drop that television title right back to me. Please don't kill yourself, mentholmoose, your boundless incompetence is so important to me that it's hard to put into words. Idiots like Monathin and FairGame, they come and go, but stooges like you, who are just good enough to stick around in the Super-League without accomplishing anything, that's special, it's really special, and I don't want to lose that. I want you to stay, forever. So that I can keep making you look bad until the end of time."

"That wasn't persuasive at all!" mentholmoose pulled the trigger, only for the gun to misfire. "God drat it!" mentholmoose inspected his pistol. "My gun broke."

Pander breathed a sigh of relief. "That was a close one. Thank god that you're as bad at gun maintenace as everything else you do, or we'd be in real trouble. Which just proves why it's so important for you to keep going, mentholmoose. I mean, I've never seen someone so bad at everything he does than you are."

"gently caress you, Pander. I'm going to escape your hellish Inception dreamworld, and then I'm going to win this television title for real! You'll see!"

GAME NOTES

-Nolan Ryan managed to walk seven batters. Frankly, it's amazing that he only gave up three runs.

-Pander needs Joe Cronin back, badly. Bobby Wallace may have many positive attributes, but playing error-free baseball isn't one of them.

-At this point, it appears that the only team with an Eddie Collins free from the hideous Collins Plague unleashed by Monicro belongs to the Panderers, because, let's be honest, who else would end up with the only working Collins?

-In better news, the Panderers' Padres-heavy bullpen has actually held together relatively well. I bring this up because I feel like I need to explain this to you nerds again: starters belong in the rotation, relievers belong in the bullpen. There was a time when bullpens mainly consisted of excess relievers, but that was a very long time ago. In those days, relievers typically came into the game either if the game was a blowout one way or the other, or if the manager felt compelled to pinch-hit for his starting pitcher, though, back in the day, that was not as common as it would later become. These were the days when good starters were expected to throw complete games most of the time, and even bad starters would often have double-digit complete games per season. Plus use real relievers in your bullpen. If not for yourselves, do it for me.

Box Score

Don May posted:

WOLVERINES CAN'T QUITE PULL OFF COMEBACK, FALL TO MARMOSETS 5-4

Detroit- When the Marmosets' bullpen enters play, there are no boring games.

The Marmosets, having a hot start, and having recently moved into first place in the Sic Transit Vir division, took a 5-0 lead over the Wolverines, and looked like good bets to win. Bullet Rogan, just one of the Marmosets' starters off to a good start to the season, had not allowed a run, and the Marmosets look poised to take the rare easy win on the road.

But Zodiac5000 decided to pinch-hit for Rogan in the seventh, forcing him to go to his bullpen for three innings. The first two innings saw the Wolverines score their first three runs of the game, and, as the bottom of the ninth loomed, the Marmosets' lead suddenly seemed in grave peril, as it would now be up to the mercurial and barely controllable Chelsea Baker to pick up the save.

The inning started just as one would expect, with Baker giving up a lead off walk as she had trouble locating the strike zone. The next batter, Mickey Cochrane, did Baker the favor of grounding out, but the lead runner moved to second base. That brought up Carl Yastrzemski, who easily timed a knuckleball, lancing it to right field and scoring a run in the process. Unfortunately, that angered Chelsea Baker, who tackled Yaz as he attempted to stretch the hit into a double. Baker ensured that Yaz would not take the extra base, stomping him into the dirt until, as an act of mercy, Rogers Hornsby tagged Yaz to get the out, thus finally stopping Baker's brutal assault.

That play was not without controversy, as many on the Wolverines' side felt that it was a technical violation of the rules for the pitcher to tackle a baserunner and beat him half to death. cbx, infuriated, stormed onto the field, and began arguing with the umpire, who explained that, if he did not uphold the play, Baker would surely disembowel him, and he had too much to live for. cbx persisted, insisted that in 'real America', everyone knows that it's better to burn out than it is to fade away, leading the umpire to remind cbx that Neil Young is actually Canadian.

Play resumed, now with two outs, and Baker struck out Sam Crawford in short order, ending the game, and ensuring that the Marmosets would stay in first place for one more day.

"I can see how there would be controversy with that play." Zodiac5000 said, "I mean, Yaz took a threshing on that one, no one's really disputing that. I mean, it a larger sense, though, is it really that different from a catcher blocking the plate? Of course, that's illegal in baseball now too, but, I mean, I think the real thing to ask is whether or not you're willing to die to protest it. Because, and I'm not making threats, I'm just stating facts, you keep tapping on that hornet's nest, Chelsea Baker is going to through you into the thresher. You may not like that, but it's the truth. I've seen her kill a lot of good people for a lot less than that. So, my advice to you, and cbx, and everyone else, is to let this one go. We won, it happened, it's just how things are."

cbx, evidently, disagreed, as he crashed Zodiac5000's press conference, literally, but running through a wall, just recently repaired from cbx's last entrance, on a rocket-cycle. "Let me ask you something, Zodiac5000, are you an American?" He asked, decked out in a leather suit colored red, white and blue.

"I suppose, from a technical perspective, I am, but we Sodakhans don't really like to be lumped in with the city-dwellers. It's unnatural to build anything more than one story high that isn't a silo."

"Shut up!" cbx silenced him. "I asked if you were an American."

"I just said I was. Although, let me say, I'm kind of down with this whole Detroit thing. I mean, tons of rust, large stretches of urban prairie, I like it."

"Because a real American wouldn't stand for what happened at the end of the game." cbx insisted. "He would stand up for what's right."

'Again, I appreciate that, but the thing is, as I said earlier, standing up for what's right probably means Chelsea Baker murdering me. Now, I don't know about you, but I'd rather not be murdered if I could avoid it. Obviously, I can't avoid it forever, everyone gets murdered in the end, whether by time, illness, icepick to the back of the head, but I'd rather not die today. And I'm pretty sure that saying that we shouldn't have won the game because of something that Chelsea Baker did, I'll die today."

"Coward!" cbx yelled. "A real American is brave! He stands up for the truth, understanding that the truth is that America is great! Now, admit that you cheated to win the game, or are you willing to betray Jesus' favorite country?"

"Wouldn't that be the Vatican?" Zodiac5000 asked.

"I've had just about enough of you!" cbx puts his hands in a boxing stance. "Maybe a little conversation with Justice and Liberty will change your mind!"

"Are you referring to your fists?" Zodiac5000 asked. "Because, I'm not sure that, given the circumstances, you really want to invite violence."

"Is that a threat?" cbx looked ready for a fight. Tragically, he was not, as Chelsea Baker took that moment to jump him from behind and start raining down elbows to cbx's face, which quickly devolved into a bloody mess.

Zodiac5000 eventually had to look away, "Poor bastard. Oh, well, at least Chelsea is learning to hit with her elbows instead of her fists sometimes. Much less chance of her breaking a hand that way."

GAME NOTES

-It took me roughly ten thousand tries, but I finally built a version of Turkey Stearnes that satisfies Zodiac5000. So, that's good.

-Old Hoss is still winless on the year, but he did pitch well enough to get the win today, even if things didn't quite work out for him.

-Carl Yastrzemski started at third base because of a minor injury to Alex Rodriguez. It was not a great day for Yaz, as he made an error that led to two unearned runs scoring, and was almost murdered in the ninth inning, making an out in the process. Amazingly, as bad as Yaz was at third base, he was still the best third baseman that the Wolverines had available.

-HoWilliams Monsoon does a lot of exciting things for a team. Some of them are even net positives.

Box Score

Don May posted:

RANSOM STILL IN FIRST, DESPITE INCREASINGLY LEVEL OF SURREALITY

Houston- The Ransom continue to boggle the mind.

Down 5-3 against a theoretically talented, if not particularly well-balanced, Triple H team, it looked like the Ransom's run of strong play would come to an end. But then, as it has so often this season, contingency came to the rescue. For complicated reasons that have yet to be adequately explained, Monathin does not believe in relief pitchers, and has stocked his bullpen entirely with excess starters. That meant that instead of facing a live arm that could fire 100 mph fastballs, the Ransom would get to make one last stab at a comeback against Urban Shocker, a man with a 75 mph fastball, and a heart so bad that, for the last few years of his life, which ended at a relatively young age, he was unable to sleep lying down, in fear that his heart would conk out during his sleep. Whatever his other merits, Shocker was a guy whose pitches could be hit, and the Ransom did just that, scoring three runs and taking a 6-5 lead.

In hte bottom of the ninth, the Ransom, using an actual, factual closer in the form of Trevor Hoffman, easily turned aside Triple H's dregs, with Ken Oberkfell, a symbol of the team's inconsistency, making the penultimate out. It was an incredible turn of events made all the more amazing that, with the win, the Ransom continued to maintain its hold on first place in the Mark Bellhorn division, holding a one-game lead over the Doom and Commission.

"I don't what to say." Monathin said after the game, utterly bewildered. "What is going on here? For the record, I would like to point out that, if I were in the Mark Bellhorn Division, I'd be in first place, but no, because I'm in the Senor Goodtimes Division, I'm somehow in last place. The fact that I'm in danger of getting demoted, while the Ransom are only going to down if, actually, with the Stoned Lightning around, I can't think of how they'd get demoted. I think that's bullshit. But that's fine, the key here is that at least I have a moment to talk about Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. Now, what wasn't explained last time is that-" All accounts of the game cut off Monathin's comments at exactly that point.

"Tough loss for us today." A confused Yaya said after the game. "A real tough loss. I mean, you hate to lose by one-run, and that's-" It was pointed out that he had won the game. Yaya, not believing it, asked for a copy of the box score, and examined it. "I don't think this is real. I mean, 'Ike DeLock'? That sounds like a pseudonym, and not a good one, I mean, I'm pretty sure that I don't have any guy named 'Ike DeLock' on my roster, it makes no sense at all. I don't understand what's going on here, but I'm positive that we lost this game. I just don't see how we could have won, it wouldn't make any sense. I don't know, does Ike DeLock exist?" Yaya grabbed a hold of Trevor Hoffman, who got the save. "Hoffman, you ever heard of this DeLock guy?"

"DeLock?" Hoffman asked. "No, I don't think I've heard of him. I mean, I know the guys in our bullpen, you've got me, The Thornton Lee, Parnell, Brown, Kinder, that's it. There's no guy named DeLock. I don't know, what does he look like?"

"I have no idea." Yaya thought about the situation. "Okay, well, has he pitched for us before?"

Hoffman looked at the team statistics, "No, he hasn't. It's like he appeared out of nowhere, won the game for us, and then vanished back into the aether. That's not normal, is it?"

"I don't think people tend to just suddenly start existing." Yaya said.

"But what if they did?" Hoffman asked. "What if we've stumbled onto something incredible, a world where reality is not a constant, but instead a constantly shifting set of principles, all of which can change at an instant's notice, and that we're finally able to see past the seams of what we thought of as reality, and into the true malleability of existence."

"I don't know what that means." Yaya tried to make sense of the situation. "And I'm not sure that we should be heading down that path. I mean, I don't want this to turn into some sort of Samuel Beckett play, and I feel like we're getting dangerously close to that sort of territory. Let's just leave it as the game was won by a pitcher that may or may not have existed, and may or may not exist in the future, and that's just okay."

"Is it okay?"

"It's fine." Yaya insisted. "It's just fine."

GAME NOTES

-Maniac Magee came a home run short of a cycle. But, as he was not made to hit home runs, that was probably about as close as Magee was ever going to come.

-But, seriously, who is Ike DeLock?

-The Larry Doby at 2B experiment has not produced great results so far, but it's only been one week, you have to give it more time!

-Fun Fact! I don't believe that a team has ever been demoted with a winning record. That said, the Akabira Killer Mikes did get demoted with a .500 record and, back in the day, before the Sub-Par League existed, a lot of teams with winning records got killed in the latter stages of the Gauntlet.

-According to WWE.com, Triple H is 13-time champion.

-Did you know? Samuel Beckett spent much of his life in France, and, for a time, was a neighbor of Andre the Giant. Tragically, as far as is known, the two never worked as a tag team. Clearly, however, they would have been the best tag team of all-time, as the combination of Andre the Giant's imposing frame, coupled with Beckett's incisive existentialist themes would have dominated the tag team scene of that era.

Box Score

Team Statistics

Analysis

Jeff Bagwell is hitting some dingers. That's something.

Analysis

Old Orel Hershiser is just not going to work.

Analysis

You have a billion spare players. Some of them have to be useful at a time like this.

Analysis

The Knights are leading the division by default!

Analysis

I'm looking at Schillings' stats, and the issue is that scads and scads of hits to the outfield are dropping in for hits.

Analysis

In a division this tight, that bullpen could be a killer.

Analysis

The good news is that if the pitching ever gets one step above 'horrific', the Doom should take the division.

Analysis

Better.

Analysis

Oh my god, this team and its Kevin Browns is going to win a wildcard. I don't know how to feel about that.

Analysis

New Hoss is getting into form. And that might be enough.

Analysis

I have no idea what's wrong with Big Oh.

Analysis

The Kernels are going to stroll to the division title, most likely.

Analysis

Finally, the dream has been realized!

Analysis

Moving in the right direction, still.

Analysis

This team has certain weaknesses at the margins. In that any time Curt Walker is getting a meaningful at-bat, something has gone wrong.

Analysis

On the plus side, with how the rest of the Dynamo League is doing, I'm betting that the top three teams in the Sic Transit Vir division are going to the playoffs.

Analysis

WHO IS IKE DELOCK?

Analysis

This team would be doing better if it stopped suffering from crippling injuries all the time.

Analysis

Failure Unit Beet is back!

Analysis

I can't believe Monicro got stabbed in the back by the Gay Agenda.

Analysis

In a couple of weeks, Alexander will be back, which should even things out.

Analysis

This is the most successul thing to have ever come out of South Dakota.

Analysis

Man, the Gumshoes are in the wrong division if they don't want to die. Still, one of the three teams above it might collapse.

Analysis

The Gay Agenda are going to need to rest people at some point.

Standings

Smasher Dynamo fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Jan 15, 2016

# ? Jan 15, 2016 21:12

Pash: Sep 10, 2009; The First of the Adorable Dead

My team... is confusing the hell out of me. Mauer my best obp guy? Connor sucking but somehow hitting for more power than OH? Collins being bugged by that old decrepit one into uselessness? And uh... Eddie Mathews leading my team in homers...

I think with Oh! his contact just sinks him. Even in my stadium that should be boosting homers he has hit 2, and those small walls have not translated to more homers and a better average. I have been on the road a lot so far, but im not really sure whats going on. He's just been disappointing... but I guess thats not really anything new as he has had a negative WAR in two of his 3 seasons so far (mostly my fault for playing him in the OF...).

DL the Injured Bender
Put Orval Overall into the 5 spot to fill in
Move Jack Pfiester to MR
Call up Coveleski and stick him at LRP

Lineup
DH vs RHP:
1. Joe Mauer C
2. Joe Jackson RF
3. Eddie Mathews 3B
4. Albert Pujols LF
5. Cristobal Torriente CF
6. Big Oh! 1B
7. Roger Connor DH
8. Cal Ripken SS
9. Eddie Collins 2B

Edit: No DH lineups!
No DH vs RHP:
1. Joe Mauer C
2. Joe Jackson RF
3. Eddie Mathews 3B
4. Albert Pujols LF
5. Cristobal Torriente CF
6. Big Oh! 1B
7. Cal Ripken SS
8. Eddie Collins 2B
9. P

No DH vs LHP:
1. Dick Allen 3B
2. Joe Jackson RF
3. Albert Pujols LF
4. Wally Berger CF
5. Cal Ripken SS
6. Johnny Bench C
7. Melissa Meyeaux 2B
8. Big Oh! 1B
9. P

Pash fucked around with this message at 21:38 on Jan 15, 2016

# ? Jan 15, 2016 21:26

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
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Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Smasher Dynamo posted:

I'm looking at Schillings' stats, and the issue is that scads and scads of hits to the outfield are dropping in for hits.

Well, I could change my stadium to have a somewhat less cavernous infield (though 445-455-465-455-445 is still rather massive), but you'll yell at me when I do that now, so... no changes it is. I'll need to do some experiments at some point to work out which direction is the smarter one, the "supercharge offense with high-altitude stadium that still has a gigantic outfield to limit dingers" approach or the "go sea level to limit dingers and still have big, albeit not THAT big a stadium to limit dingers". I mean, the correct answer is "not design a team around Curt Schilling you loving dumbass", but that's not an option here.

EDIT: What would I even be looking for if I wanted really good outfielders for the "catch a whole bunch of balls all over the outfield"? Rickey? Would Kenny Lofton be good?

TheMcD fucked around with this message at 21:32 on Jan 15, 2016

# ? Jan 15, 2016 21:29

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

TheMcD posted:

Well, I could change my stadium to have a somewhat less cavernous infield (though 445-455-465-455-445 is still rather massive), but you'll yell at me when I do that now, so... no changes it is. I'll need to do some experiments at some point to work out which direction is the smarter one, the "supercharge offense with high-altitude stadium that still has a gigantic outfield to limit dingers" approach or the "go sea level to limit dingers and still have big, albeit not THAT big a stadium to limit dingers". I mean, the correct answer is "not design a team around Curt Schilling you loving dumbass", but that's not an option here.

It could be worse. You could have designed it around Randy Johnson.

I learned THAT lesson, yep.

# ? Jan 15, 2016 21:32

Pash: Sep 10, 2009; The First of the Adorable Dead

I edited in some no DH lineups...

Anyone have a Sandberg they will trade me?

# ? Jan 15, 2016 21:38

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Huh. Well, that's a very good week, but I think you're overlooking the obvious danger with this team. It's not Brown slumping (though that'd surely doom us too), it's that there's basically zero depth at any non-outfield position. So when I get these little nagging injuries, it's pretty concerning. I'm fortunate that while interleague starts next week, I host the whole week so I still have the DH available. So...

Lineup Changes

1.) Move Edgar to DH full-time, keeps the same slot in the order
2.) Move Hafey to CF full-time, becomes the new leadoff hitter
3.) Gil McDougald to 3B full-time, bats 8th

This'll also free up Stephens to cover for a nicked-up Vaughan for a couple days.

Rotation Changes
If the injured Brown is scheduled to make only 1 start this week, do nothing. I'll let the AI handle it (presumably that means Honeycutt gets a spot start.)

If the injured Brown is scheduled to make 2 starts, swap him out for Roy Halladay.

Sorry I'm giving you an if/then statement here, but I can't tell which Brown is which.

Roster Changes
Demote Mattingly, promote Goslin

Thanks so much!

# ? Jan 15, 2016 21:42

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Wait, interleague starts next week? poo poo.

DH lineups are the same as the no-DH lineups except Ross Barnes plays DH and bats fifth.

# ? Jan 15, 2016 21:45

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

TheMcD posted:

Wait, interleague starts next week? poo poo.

It starts Week 8.

# ? Jan 15, 2016 21:54

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Smasher Dynamo posted:

It starts Week 8.

Alright. Well, I guess you can still do the DH lineups already, because barring an injury, I'm not making any changes next week.

EDIT: I am considering replacing Cool Papa Bell with Kenny Lofton, but that's a decision that requires more time to pass to be made.

TheMcD fucked around with this message at 22:05 on Jan 15, 2016

# ? Jan 15, 2016 22:00

Mornacale: Dec 19, 2007; n=y where
y=hope and n=folly,
prospects=lies, win=lose,

self=Pirates

Okay my team has shaped up so I will come manage them again.

1) Platoon Bassler and Piazza
2) swap McGraw and Collins in the lineup vs RHP
3) rotation:

Old Roy
#2 Starter Roy
Felix
#4 Starter Roy
Nolan Ryan

4) pray for Felix

e: Oh, also send Old Manny down for Elmer Flick and let Baby Manny DH full-time

Mornacale fucked around with this message at 22:13 on Jan 15, 2016

# ? Jan 15, 2016 22:07

GVOLTT: Dec 27, 2012; Honestly, I don't know what I want to put here, so I'm going with this.

Smasher Dynamo posted:

It starts Week 8.

Not that it matters to me since I'm in the Sub-par League, but the images for this update all show the month of September instead of May.

# ? Jan 15, 2016 22:12

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

Smasher Dynamo posted:

You have a billion spare players. Some of them have to be useful at a time like this.

Need to see where I can fit Blyleven, Bunning, and Hooton into the pitching staff. Offense woke up a little bit, and 4 games back of third is not an insurmountable deficit with so much time left. If the pitching ever decides to come into form, well, survival is possible!

Also I wouldn't mind upgrading at 2B, that would help a little bit.

# ? Jan 15, 2016 22:14

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

If anyone in the subpar has a catcher with extremely good handling kicking around I want to experiment with something.

# ? Jan 15, 2016 22:19

Monathin: Sep 1, 2011; ?????????
?

The honest truth of it is that I have zero ability to judge relievers. None. Sure, I know the best of the best of the best, but I don't know what guys are actually slightly better than loving fodder and what guys aren't. I wish I had Paul Assenmacher or Slow Joe Doyle or even "Pope" Don Pall, but, c'est la via.

In the meantime, Bullpen Whitey up to Closing Duties, Mike Boddicker at SR, send Old Man Shocker down. I'll give the Doby-Kelly platoon more time to gestate, because I probably don't actually have much to lose over being demoted here.

# ? Jan 15, 2016 22:31

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

I know I don't have the title any more I just don't have time to get correct one.

VS ALL
2B Lew Fonseca
LF Jesse Burkett
CF Heinie Manush
DH Dan Brouthers
RF Curt Walker
C Bubbles Hargrave
3B Bob Elliott
1B Goose Goslin
SS Bobby Wallace

poo poo.

Replace Randy Johnson with Red Donahue
Replace Whitey Ford with Pete Donohue

DONA/OHUE POWERS ACTIVATE

# ? Jan 15, 2016 22:33

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

GVOLTT posted:

Not that it matters to me since I'm in the Sub-par League, but the images for this update all show the month of September instead of May.

If you ever make it back to the Super-League, I'll make sure to show my appreciation for pointing that out.

# ? Jan 15, 2016 22:34

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

Smasher: My plan in RF was hoping one of Tommy Holmes, George Harper, or Curt Walker would actually BABIP well. None are AWFUL players, they're just not Paul Waner levels, but I figured I could count on 1 in 3 of them hitting well and carrying their load. They're the only guys I have who can field RF reasonably well, which is necessary given my pitching and stadium or else I'd throw Heinie or Goose there.

And yeah, my IF depth is poo poo, so please don't break any more of them.

# ? Jan 15, 2016 22:43

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Pander posted:

Smasher: My plan in RF was hoping one of Tommy Holmes, George Harper, or Curt Walker would actually BABIP well. None are AWFUL players, they're just not Paul Waner levels, but I figured I could count on 1 in 3 of them hitting well and carrying their load. They're the only guys I have who can field RF reasonably well, which is necessary given my pitching and stadium or else I'd throw Heinie or Goose there.

And yeah, my IF depth is poo poo, so please don't break any more of them.

In a vacuum, that's not a terrible plan. In a division with the Bombers, it's probably not enough.

# ? Jan 15, 2016 22:48

Pander: Oct 9, 2007; Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.

Smasher Dynamo posted:

In a vacuum, that's not a terrible plan. In a division with the Bombers, it's probably not enough.

Correct. I'm about 3 seasons from consistently crushing them. Right now it's a push.

# ? Jan 15, 2016 23:07

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

No changes.

Look at that title though.

:boom:

# ? Jan 15, 2016 23:35

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

rabidsquid posted:

If anyone in the subpar has a catcher with extremely good handling kicking around I want to experiment with something.

I have two Wally Schangs. I'll give you the Schangier one for a competent 2B or 3B or anything capable of throwing a baseball.

# ? Jan 15, 2016 23:40

Zodiac5000: Jun 19, 2006; Protects the Pack!; Doctor Rope

I feel like I gave cbx every possible warning there. He's gotta know that Chelsea Baker is pretty much always watching and she does *not* like giving up runs, or complicated last names, so Yaz was pretty much screwed there.

I am also *extremely* pleased with Turkey this season! It took a bit, but he's finally hit his stride, so thank you Smasher.

Please start Ryne Sandberg at 2B against right-handers this week, leaving Hornsby in against lefties. No change to batting order Hornsby needs some rest, it's too early in the season to lose him to a rather predictable (for him) injury.

# ? Jan 15, 2016 23:48

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

Man gently caress the super league

# ? Jan 16, 2016 00:26

Ice To Meet You: Mar 5, 2007

Broken Men

Akabira Killer Mikes
Joe Kelley (1B) - 10 days

Colma Skeletons
Mel Ott (RF) - 9 days
Rube Waddell (SP) - 12 days

Da Pope's Chosen
Dwight Gooden (SP) - 12 days

Florida Oranges
Slim Love (SP) - 14 days

Genoa Janus
Sergio Romo (RP) - 57 days

The Goog Day
Alex Rodriguez (SS) - 47 days

yankeesfans.gif
Bruce Chen (SP) - 11 days

# ? Jan 16, 2016 00:34

Yaya: Nov 14, 2012; vancloober cablucks

Seeing how we're going against FairGame's legion of Kevin Browns next week, let's get some lefties in the lineup:

Batting order vs RHP:

1. CF Maniac Magee
2. 2B Eddie Collins
3. LF Ted Williams
4. DH Babe Ruth
5. RF Joe Jackson
6. C Jimmie Foxx
7. SS Lou Boudreau
8. 3B George Kell
9. 1B Jake Beckley

Batting order vs LHP:

1. CF Maniac Magee
2. 2B Eddie Collins
3. LF Ted Williams
4. DH Babe Ruth
5. RF Joe Jackson
6. 1B Jimmie Foxx
7. SS Luke Appling
8. C Gabby Hartnett
9. 3B George Kell

Yaya fucked around with this message at 00:44 on Jan 16, 2016

# ? Jan 16, 2016 00:41

FairGame: Jul 24, 2001; Der Kommander

Hey TheMcD, do you still have that Scherzer? I don't see him in your minors but maybe that's because your minors are too full for him to show up in screenshots.

# ? Jan 16, 2016 02:09

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

FairGame posted:

Hey TheMcD, do you still have that Scherzer? I don't see him in your minors but maybe that's because your minors are too full for him to show up in screenshots.

Uh, poo poo. Because I figured I would have traded him to you by the end of the offseason, I never rostered him. Whoops.

# ? Jan 16, 2016 02:10

TKBomber7285: Feb 20, 2011

Guess I'll promote Magglio Ordonez from AAA. Hack Wilson will replace Frank Robinson in all our lineups.

# ? Jan 16, 2016 03:00

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

Ice To Meet You posted:

Broken Men

yankeesfans.gif
Bruce Chen (SP) - 11 days

DL and call up Lidle

# ? Jan 16, 2016 05:02

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

Aaaaggggg. I am highly tempted to punt defense entirely, move Rickey to the infield, and run an Earle Combs / Bob Meusel platoon, but I guess the smart thing to do would be to hold my nose and play Luis Aguayo at short. Sigh. Bat him ninth against both hands and move everyone up one spot, please.

# ? Jan 16, 2016 05:41

CFBalla: Sep 16, 2009; Yeah, I just made that shot.

A few things to fix tiredness:

1. Make Darrell Porter the personal catcher of Robin Roberts.
2. Replace Hornsby with George Grantham vs. RHP for this week.

Hornsby is fragile and needs his rest, clearly. He can't always be tired.

# ? Jan 16, 2016 06:49

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

Platoon Cochrane and Cross for the week, please.

# ? Jan 16, 2016 07:13

DannoMack: Aug 1, 2003; i love it when you call me big poppa

If there was anything I could do I would do it but there isn't so weeeeeeeee

# ? Jan 16, 2016 07:23

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Monicro posted:

Platoon Cochrane and Cross for the week, please.

Not until you apologize for your earlier post!

Also, you don't face any left-handed pitching this week.

# ? Jan 16, 2016 08:28

Monicro: Oct 21, 2010; And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Not until you apologize for your earlier post!

Also, you don't face any left-handed pitching this week.

Shouldn't I face at least 1 of Slim Sallee/Wilbur Cooper(/Art Nehf)? If not just disregard I guess (Also sorry smasher the super-league is good i am just cranky at my bad team)

# ? Jan 16, 2016 08:40

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Monicro posted:

Shouldn't I face at least 1 of Slim Sallee/Wilbur Cooper(/Art Nehf)? If not just disregard I guess (Also sorry smasher the super-league is good i am just cranky at my bad team)

Yeah, you got a lovely draw there. The Sheikhs have three games before facing you, and they'll go through Faber, Sallee and Cooper before that, leaving Douglas, Cicotte and Faber for your series, all right-handers.

# ? Jan 16, 2016 14:15

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

Let me get the lineups, including those of the DH variety, out of the way before I forget

code:

vs. RHP (no-DH)			vs. LHP (no-DH)
1. RF Sam Thompson		1. 2B Dustin Pedroia
2. SS Joe Cronin		2. RF Harry Heilmann
3. 3B George Brett		3. 3B George Brett
4. C Yogi Berra			4. CF Joe DiMaggio
5. 1B Babe Herman		5. 1B Babe Herman
6. CF Joe DiMaggio		6. LF Chipper Jones
7. LF Chipper Jones		7. SS Joe Cronin
8. 2B Dustin Pedroia		8. C Spud Davis
9. Pitcher Spot			9. Pitcher Spot
		
vs. RHP (DH)			vs. LHP (DH)
1. RF Sam Thompson		1. 2B Dustin Pedroia
2. SS Joe Cronin		2. RF Harry Heilmann
3. DH George Brett		3. DH George Brett
4. C Yogi Berra			4. CF Joe DiMaggio
5. 1B Babe Herman		5. 1B Babe Herman
6. CF Joe DiMaggio		6. LF Goose Goslin
7. LF Goose Goslin		7. SS Joe Cronin
8. 3B George Kelll		8. 3B George Kelll
9. 2B Dustin Pedroia		9. C Spud Davis

Slight stadium, and some slider changes where needed!

code:

Infield Quality: Good (from Medium)
Infield Grass:	High (from Medium)
Foul Ground: Huge (from Large)

Strategies:
Sacrifice Bunt: 				-1
Squeeze Play: 					-1
Trying for extra bases: 			0
Stealing Bases: 				0
Aggressively Tagging Up: 			1
Giving Intentional Walks: 			-2
Bringing the Infield In: 			2
Guarding the Lines: 				1
Making Cutoff Throws: 				0
Bringing in Pinch Hitters: 			+1
Bringing in Pinch Runners: 			0
Bringing in Defensive Replacements: 		0
Letting pitchers pitch through trouble: 	0
Letting Pitchers rack up high pitch counts: 	+3

Armitage fucked around with this message at 15:53 on Jan 16, 2016

# ? Jan 16, 2016 15:35

kensei: Dec 27, 2007; He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!

DannoMack posted:

If there was anything I could do I would do it but there isn't so weeeeeeeee

I guess I can DL V-Mart and put Abe in at C but I wanna see what the game engine does.

# ? Jan 16, 2016 17:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 08:13

HulkaMatt: Feb 14, 2006; BIG BICEPS SHOHEI

\o/ I am happy with this week! 2/3 against the Rakers and a split series against the Doom is awesome and much better than anything I expected!

Move Rickey back to LF against Righties.

# ? Jan 16, 2016 18:01

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