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Took a call 15 minutes before clocking-out-time from one of my favourite remote users. Holding his hand through 2FA logon with a one-time-password was, as always, frustrating, but nothing I haven't done dozens of times before, but then this: OK, I've reset your PIN. Can you try- (female American voice at deafening volume) 50 CENT HAS STOLEN QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS OF JEWELRY ....... Did you hear that? ...yes? It's been doing that for days. ..........is that coming from one of our machines?! Yeah. It's really annoyi- 50 CENT HAS STOLEN QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS OF JEWELRY -ng.It happened a bunch more times during the call, and although I was running late it took everything in me not to laugh because of the sheer absurdity of it. It'll be lovely malware, of course. Can't wait for that machine to come back in!
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Jan 19, 2016 23:32
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Aahahaha. "Yeah my computer has been telling me this every 3 minutes for the better part of a week, but I don't worry about it. 50 Cent seems like an honest guy. I might put a ticket in if this keeps up for another 6 days."
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Jan 19, 2016 23:36
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Wachter posted:Took a call 15 minutes before clocking-out-time from one of my favourite remote users. Holding his hand through 2FA logon with a one-time-password was, as always, frustrating, but nothing I haven't done dozens of times before, but then this: Get Pwned or Die Trying
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Jan 19, 2016 23:38
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I would be embellishing if I said I'd heard relief in his voice when I confirmed that I could, in fact, hear the scary computer lady. But, seriously, the guy's a programmer; how do you put up with it for that long? How are you going to get any work done? loving mute it already. Personally, I like to think he's holding out for the next thrilling installment in The 50 Cent Chronicles: The Case of The Stolen Jewelry.
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Jan 19, 2016 23:45
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Was the stolen jewelry a gem encrusted skull by any chance?
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Jan 19, 2016 23:49
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Wachter posted:I would be embellishing if I said I'd heard relief in his voice when I confirmed that I could, in fact, hear the scary computer lady. But, seriously, the guy's a programmer; how do you put up with it for that long? How are you going to get any work done? loving mute it already. Being a programmer does not automatically make you good at computering. Then again most of those I know that program and don't computer too good are in their 60's-70's and likely learned programming starting with punch cards.
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Jan 19, 2016 23:50
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you can find me in your cache Sneaking in through flash look mami I got cryptowall, you into salted hash? I'm into credit cards I can't counterfeit the cash I'm makin' PCs crash Till they throw them in the trash
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Jan 19, 2016 23:53
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ponzicar posted:Was the stolen jewelry a gem encrusted skull by any chance? According to a quick google search a jewler accused 50 Cent and G-Unit of beating him up and stealing 250k worth of jewelery about 8 months ago. I have no idea why someone's computer is screaming about it in January though. Or at all.
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Jan 19, 2016 23:57
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Judge Schnoopy posted:Aahahaha. "Yeah my computer has been telling me this every 3 minutes for the better part of a week, but I don't worry about it. 50 Cent seems like an honest guy. I might put a ticket in if this keeps up for another 6 days." Everyone around him hates him, so they set the *dink* noise windows makes to 90 seconds of silence followed by "50 CENT HAS STOLEN QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS OF JEWELRY". People in my office would do that to people who left their machines unlocked, only it was 30 seconds of silence followed by this really obnoxious clown horn honking.
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Jan 19, 2016 23:58
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Kurieg posted:According to a quick google search a jewler accused 50 Cent and G-Unit of beating him up and stealing 250k worth of jewelery about 8 months ago. I have no idea why someone's computer is screaming about it in January though. It might be Cortana reading articles through Windows 10's news app? But it got stuck somehow?
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Jan 19, 2016 23:59
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Methylethylaldehyde posted:Everyone around him hates him, so they set the *dink* noise windows makes to 90 seconds of silence followed by "50 CENT HAS STOLEN QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS OF JEWELRY". People in my office would do that to people who left their machines unlocked, only it was 30 seconds of silence followed by this really obnoxious clown horn honking. Holy poo poo this is way better than changing backgrounds. What's the powershell command for changing system sounds...
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Jan 20, 2016 00:00
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Segmentation Fault posted:you can find me in your cache gold Alighieri posted:Being a programmer does not automatically make you good at computering. Then again most of those I know that program and don't computer too good are in their 60's-70's and likely learned programming starting with punch cards. Oh no, I know; I meant: "how can you code with that poo poo blaring out of the speakers every few minutes?" Segmentation Fault posted:It might be Cortana reading articles through Windows 10's news app? But it got stuck somehow? Nah, Windows 7  edit: ah, I didn't realise you could get Cortana for Windows 7. But he can't have installed that unless he has admin rights. I hope nobody gave this guy admin rights.
Wachter fucked around with this message at 00:05 on Jan 20, 2016 |
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Jan 20, 2016 00:01
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Segmentation Fault posted:you can find me in your cache 
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Jan 20, 2016 00:13
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i got a guy on the phone today who basically said "between you and me, 9/11 was a good plan"
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Jan 20, 2016 05:04
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GreenBuckanneer posted:i got a guy on the phone today who basically said "between you and me, 9/11 was a good plan" Well to be fair, it proved more effective than some explosive vans in the carpark
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Jan 20, 2016 05:16
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GreenBuckanneer posted:i got a guy on the phone today who basically said "between you and me, 9/11 was a good plan" Sometimes I wish my team could coordinate as well as the terrorists. That timeline was spot on.
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Jan 20, 2016 05:33
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Methylethylaldehyde posted:Everyone around him hates him, so they set the *dink* noise windows makes to 90 seconds of silence followed by "50 CENT HAS STOLEN QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS OF JEWELRY". People in my office would do that to people who left their machines unlocked, only it was 30 seconds of silence followed by this really obnoxious clown horn honking. Oh my god, this is both incredible and also my personal hell.
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Jan 20, 2016 14:32
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GreenBuckanneer posted:i got a guy on the phone today who basically said "between you and me, 9/11 was a good plan"  Yeah, I, uh, I'm glad I work in a position where I don't have to take phone calls anymore.
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Jan 20, 2016 15:23
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I got a voicemail where a lady asked us for help getting Outlook as an icon on her desktop. She didn't even sound that old.
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Jan 20, 2016 15:32
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anthonypants posted:I got a voicemail where a lady asked us for help getting Outlook as an icon on her desktop. She didn't even sound that old. You should feel grateful for these. The other option is her calling and screaming "EMAIL DOESN'T WORK!"
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Jan 20, 2016 16:01
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Our Outlook issues are 99% "Outlook is working offline"-related.
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Jan 20, 2016 16:16
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anthonypants posted:I got a voicemail where a lady asked us for help getting Outlook as an icon on her desktop. She didn't even sound that old. We had someone walk into the IT office and tell the secretary Outlook wasn't installed on his computer. Outlook is standard on our images. He just didn't have the icon on his desktop. The secretary proceeded to try and tell him how to grab a shortcut from the start menu and he started berating her about what did IT actually do all summer and that it's our job to make sure he had all of his icons and he didn't have time to deal with this. That is the general attitude with a decent number of people around here and I would gladly take a polite phone call asking for a shortcut any day.
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Jan 20, 2016 16:17
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KillHour posted:You should feel grateful for these. The other option is her calling and screaming "EMAIL DOESN'T WORK!"  The screaming emails are pretty rare, and for those we either hang up on them or close the voicemail ticket.
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Jan 20, 2016 16:20
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anthonypants posted:
The Screaming Emails sounds like a disease. Or a 90s Seattle grunge band.
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Jan 20, 2016 17:23
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flosofl posted:The Screaming Emails sounds like a disease. Or a 90s Seattle grunge band.  wen u got screamin emails n u don get payd til friday
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Jan 20, 2016 17:44
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quote:From: Office manager (office@company.com) Sheep fucked around with this message at 18:19 on Jan 20, 2016 |
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Jan 20, 2016 18:06
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A family member came in. I've got a retired cousin whom I help out from time to time with his computer stuff. He is so disorganized that I want to scream. He recently replaced his tablet and his phone, which is leading to no end of disasters. His workflow, as far as I can tell, is something like this: - Installs facebook/gplus/tumblr app on tablet/phone - App requests password - Can't remember password because his password method is a literally three notebooks of written down passwords, arranged in no particular order, with lots of old stuff scratched out. - Changes his password so he can log in. - Writes new password down in one of the three notebooks at random. May or may not remember to scratch out old password. - Now computer has wrong password saved, asks for new password. - Can't remember new password that he literally just changed less than twelve hours ago. - Resets password again. After a few rounds of this, he's managed to lock himself out of facebook/google/tumblr/whatever's password reset utilities for too many changes in too short an amount of time. It doesn't help that he can't wrap his head around a company having the same login on multiple sites (like appleID or google), so he changes his gmail password and doesn't understand why his google plus login stopped working. Despite how bad of a practice it is, I'm about at the point of just, like, making him up a password, changing every single account login to it, and then writing that password on his arm in permanent ink.
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Jan 20, 2016 18:39
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Bobulus posted:Despite how bad of a practice it is, I'm about at the point of just, like, making him up a password, changing every single account login to it, and then writing that password on his arm in permanent ink. Cousin Nitwit performs the Ritual of Pa'as-Wurd. The Gods look down upon him with great scorn, and smite his access privileges with furious anger! Methylethylaldehyde fucked around with this message at 19:51 on Jan 20, 2016 |
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Jan 20, 2016 19:07
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That was a big thing at my last job, and sorta understandable, all things considered. We had two domains, for regulatory reasons. The two logins were similar 12345 and 12345corp. A good chunk of programs used the active directory credentials. A lot of other ones did not, but still used employee numbers for the username. It was kind of a pain.
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Jan 20, 2016 19:12
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Bobulus posted:A family member came in. Sounds like Memento, only with Notebooks instead of Polaroids.
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Jan 20, 2016 19:13
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Bobulus posted:A family member came in. Lastpass, for its faults, has plugins for mobile devices and would be a way better approach than making his credentials as weak as some lovely vbulletin board.
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Jan 20, 2016 19:18
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Salesforce treats every e-mail in a chain as a new case if it's case taker e-mail is cc'd. Oh Salesforce 
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Jan 20, 2016 19:30
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Methylethylaldehyde posted:Cousin Nitwit To be fair, he's not dumb, just old and/or his medications are loving with his memory.
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Jan 20, 2016 20:06
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We had a similar issue with a bunch of merchants who processed via an online portal service similar to Square. The service forces password changes every 90 days. It got to the point where we now default all merchant passwords to "<businessname>1", so it can be incremented to <businessname>2, <businessname>3, etc. etc..
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Jan 20, 2016 20:27
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Methylethylaldehyde posted:Everyone around him hates him, so they set the *dink* noise windows makes to 90 seconds of silence followed by "50 CENT HAS STOLEN QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS OF JEWELRY". People in my office would do that to people who left their machines unlocked, only it was 30 seconds of silence followed by this really obnoxious clown horn honking. IT Station 13
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Jan 20, 2016 20:35
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pr0digal posted:Salesforce treats every e-mail in a chain as a new case if it's case taker e-mail is cc'd. Something similar often happens at my org when someone CCs the helpdesk on an email to several people and everyone else hits "reply to all."
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Jan 20, 2016 20:37
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I recently witnessed a ticket on Salesforce Desk where someone managed to trigger their own Out of Office reply, which generated a new ticket, which was replied to again by the autoresponder. Thankfully it did not cascade out of control, but it was fun to watch for a while.
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Jan 20, 2016 21:02
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Methylethylaldehyde posted:Everyone around him hates him, so they set the *dink* noise windows makes to 90 seconds of silence followed by "50 CENT HAS STOLEN QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS OF JEWELRY". People in my office would do that to people who left their machines unlocked, only it was 30 seconds of silence followed by this really obnoxious clown horn honking. My favorite is changing the Windows login sound to a REALLY long song. It won't log in until the song is over, which means there's no way to mute it. I have no idea if that still works on current versions, but it was funny back in the day.
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Jan 20, 2016 22:27
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KillHour posted:My favorite is changing the Windows login sound to a REALLY long song. It won't log in until the song is over, which means there's no way to mute it. I have no idea if that still works on current versions, but it was funny back in the day. I still think the Longhorn login sound was the best. The most common mac prank I've seen is zooming in the screen all the way, which frustrates almost everyone because mighty mice always have broken scroll balls that don't scroll down, and nobody knows the key command to zoom out.
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Jan 20, 2016 22:40
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Kaethela posted:I recently witnessed a ticket on Salesforce Desk where someone managed to trigger their own Out of Office reply, which generated a new ticket, which was replied to again by the autoresponder. Thankfully it did not cascade out of control, but it was fun to watch for a while. Exchange will only send out an OOO to any given email once every calendar day, just to prevent this exact scenario. Outlook running standalone has the same limit.
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Jan 20, 2016 22:44
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