The Last Dog: Doobie Saga: the final chapter.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Last Dog: Doobie Saga: the final chapter.

WhyteRyce: Dec 30, 2001

Rod Munch posted:

Kickstarter 3.0 initiated

The perfect ending would be the crematorium backing out of the deal after doobs firesells everything including the vent hood

# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:20

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 00:28

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

That chicken burger is burnt to gently caress.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:20

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

WhyteRyce posted:

Kickstarter 3.0 initiated

The perfect ending would be the crematorium backing out of the deal after doobs firesells everything including the vent hood

That and he's still under lease somehow. He just tells the landord, "OK, thanks" and hangs up.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:25

King Diamond: Dec 26, 2005

can someone post the "ersatz retard dog" quote again

# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:27

WhyteRyce: Dec 30, 2001

Northport isn't that close to Reform. Are they expanding? Satellite parking facility?

# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:32

pants in my pants: Aug 18, 2009; by Smythe

Doob's story of getting forced out has to be utter horse poo poo because I am looking at the property on GIS right now and it's a parcel of 50'x150', I'm sure you can get a piece of land that size in Reform without having to kick out a rent-paying business (which I'm guessing it wasn't) and demolishing a building. Even then, that would be a tiny parking lot. Doob's just trying to get out without admitting failure.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:35

Dely Apple: Apr 22, 2006; Sing me Spanish Techno

You'd think they'd hire the guy at a crematorium, judging from his food

# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:36

Capntastic: Jan 13, 2005; A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Dely Apple posted:

You'd think they'd hire the guy at a crematorium, judging from his food

Clearly you haven't seen his cheese

# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:37

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

Maybe the landlord is just trying to joke with Doobie that his hot dog business is dying and Doobie is just too stupid to get it. And since Doobie gave up immediately the landlord was like uhhh, and is now trying to get $58K because Doobie has proven he is dumb.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:37

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

two forty posted:

Doob's story of getting forced out has to be utter horse poo poo because I am looking at the property on GIS right now and it's a parcel of 50'x150', I'm sure you can get a piece of land that size in Reform without having to kick out a rent-paying business (which I'm guessing it wasn't) and demolishing a building. Even then, that would be a tiny parking lot. Doob's just trying to get out without admitting failure.

Wow, I never thought of that before. Why would someone do such a thing to a successful business? That just doesn't make any loving sense. Why? WHY? Why would they do that, two forty? Please explain your logic, because now I can't sleep. I lay awake at night thinking about the possiblity that Doobie lied, instead of telling the truth on the Internet. My penis has stopped hardening after this news. My eyelids continue to crust, even while I am awake. Nothing in the world makes sense. Please. Save me two forty. Explain why Doobie would lie.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:38

Blitter: Mar 16, 2011; Intellectual
AI Enthusiast

So, when I went looking for the weird rear end rap things, I couldn't help but notice .. the uh, incomparable malformed bigot herself!

^{I feel like I want to photoshop this but .. it's just so horrible as it is}

# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:40

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

Rod Munch posted:

i actually agree with this because haha thats an insane offer

# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:46

pants in my pants: Aug 18, 2009; by Smythe

it's taxed at $26,600. his landlord does live in Northport though so that sort of adds up in his tableau that he's inventing here?

# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:49

Solomonic: Jan 3, 2008; INCIPIT SANTA

cremate the corpses, doobie

this is the undertaker

# ? Jan 21, 2016 06:58

WhyteRyce: Dec 30, 2001

Doobs should go with the narrative that big city folks from metropolitan Northport are taking over poor little Reform

He could sell the movie rights. Ray Romano could play doobs

# ? Jan 21, 2016 07:01

Cromulent: Dec 22, 2002; People are under a lot of stress, Bradley.

I hope the landlord story is a 100% fabrication and then he finds out and sues Doobie for slander (see: liable vs comedy)

# ? Jan 21, 2016 07:05

Lolie: Jun 4, 2010; AUSGBS Thread Mum

two forty posted:

Doob's story of getting forced out has to be utter horse poo poo because I am looking at the property on GIS right now and it's a parcel of 50'x150', I'm sure you can get a piece of land that size in Reform without having to kick out a rent-paying business (which I'm guessing it wasn't) and demolishing a building. Even then, that would be a tiny parking lot. Doob's just trying to get out without admitting failure.

There's a closed funeral home just down the street from Doobie's and there's also a church just near him. Maybe Northport is re-opening the old funeral home and figures Doobie's site offers parking which is convenient to both locations. Doobie obviously only cares about his own building, but they could be purchasing other property as well.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 07:09

Nude Bog Lurker: Jan 2, 2007; Fun Shoe

doobie burn the corpse

this is a vent hood

# ? Jan 21, 2016 07:27

skaboomizzy: Nov 12, 2003; There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

oobie
rematio
ouse

urns.... PILED HIGH

.4 oz, $399

NO COMBOS

# ? Jan 21, 2016 07:34

Eleanor Pwnsevelt: Dec 25, 2003

That's a real shame because I need my oil changed. Think I'll take my business somewhere I can get an oil filter + hotdog combo while I wait.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 07:50

Egbert Souse: Nov 6, 2008

Ashes in the urn

# ? Jan 21, 2016 07:50

Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

I legitimately wonder how many people would donate to save the dog house at this point. Like even just to keep the laughs comin

# ? Jan 21, 2016 08:47

Jen X: Sep 29, 2014; To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.

Heath posted:

I legitimately wonder how many people would donate to save the dog house at this point. Like even just to keep the laughs comin

Too many

# ? Jan 21, 2016 08:51

iSheep: Feb 5, 2006; by R. Guyovich

Pyres.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 08:52

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

looks like someones gonna need a new hobby

# ? Jan 21, 2016 08:57

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Heath posted:

I legitimately wonder how many people would donate to save the dog house at this point. Like even just to keep the laughs comin

Hot Dogs don't seem essential to the laughs, and all evidence suggests he is sick to death of standing over a grill ~~all day~~ a few hours a day.

Doobie needs to get a Patreon, and a blog. Every day he makes a short post about what he's been up to that day. Whether that's working at the oil shop, or todays excuse for closing the business and loving off. Once a week: a video. Could be a rap, a rant, a cooking demonstration, or just sitting in front of the camera saying whatever comes to mind for 5 minutes. Show off his paintings. Show off his rims and rebuilt engine. I, for one, want to know who Doobie favors in the republican primaries. The best part is nobody in Reform needs to know about it, if he doesn't want them to. It can totally stay between Doobie and his internet fans.

Now y'all might think there aren't enough doobfans in the world to pay enough to make it worth his while. I'll just point out that Shmorky gets $817 US dollars a month just to live his dream. https://www.patreon.com/shmorky?ty=h If Shmorky can do it, Doobie can do it. He's a renaissance man.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 09:04

Dely Apple: Apr 22, 2006; Sing me Spanish Techno

Egbert Souse posted:

Ashes in the urn

Ash for it.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 09:16

Nude Bog Lurker: Jan 2, 2007; Fun Shoe

Angela Christine posted:

Hot Dogs don't seem essential to the laughs, and all evidence suggests he is sick to death of standing over a grill ~~all day~~ a few hours a day.

Doobie needs to get a Patreon, and a blog. Every day he makes a short post about what he's been up to that day. Whether that's working at the oil shop, or todays excuse for closing the business and loving off. Once a week: a video. Could be a rap, a rant, a cooking demonstration, or just sitting in front of the camera saying whatever comes to mind for 5 minutes. Show off his paintings. Show off his rims and rebuilt engine. I, for one, want to know who Doobie favors in the republican primaries. The best part is nobody in Reform needs to know about it, if he doesn't want them to. It can totally stay between Doobie and his internet fans.

Now y'all might think there aren't enough doobfans in the world to pay enough to make it worth his while. I'll just point out that Shmorky gets $817 US dollars a month just to live his dream. https://www.patreon.com/shmorky?ty=h If Shmorky can do it, Doobie can do it. He's a renaissance man.

doobie gently caress up the life

this is a lawyer

# ? Jan 21, 2016 09:25

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

That Robot posted:

what happened to ur av dude

your av ruled

its a painful story........i cant talk about it.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 09:39

Nirvikalpa: Aug 20, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Blitter posted:

So, when I went looking for the weird rear end rap things, I couldn't help but notice .. the uh, incomparable malformed bigot herself!

You mean this isn't photoshopped already? Seriously, I thought it was Fire or Ahuviya Harel first.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 09:41

luncheon meat: Oct 11, 2007; Brendan Jones, 42, Bendigo

doob's new garage is looking good, I like the way he's worked on his truck and only one other dude's car. I'd like to accuse doobster of opening this shop to do his truck up and writing it off as a business expense but I don't think doob even thought that far, he just wanted to work on his dang truck without Tasha yelling at him god bless

# ? Jan 21, 2016 10:14

jenny jones fan: Dec 24, 2007

I think Doobie's downfall was charging customers 50 cents if they asked for a cup of ice. Did he also charge for salt and napkins?

# ? Jan 21, 2016 10:35

KennyLoggins: Dec 3, 2004; Welcome to the Danger Zone

salt and napkins Piled High

# ? Jan 21, 2016 10:42

Bacon Terrorist: May 7, 2010; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Angela Christine posted:

Hot Dogs don't seem essential to the laughs, and all evidence suggests he is sick to death of standing over a grill ~~all day~~ a few hours a day.

Doobie needs to get a Patreon, and a blog. Every day he makes a short post about what he's been up to that day. Whether that's working at the oil shop, or todays excuse for closing the business and loving off. Once a week: a video. Could be a rap, a rant, a cooking demonstration, or just sitting in front of the camera saying whatever comes to mind for 5 minutes. Show off his paintings. Show off his rims and rebuilt engine. I, for one, want to know who Doobie favors in the republican primaries. The best part is nobody in Reform needs to know about it, if he doesn't want them to. It can totally stay between Doobie and his internet fans.

Now y'all might think there aren't enough doobfans in the world to pay enough to make it worth his while. I'll just point out that Shmorky gets $817 US dollars a month just to live his dream. https://www.patreon.com/shmorky?ty=h If Shmorky can do it, Doobie can do it. He's a renaissance man.

Shmorky has talent though. I wouldn't be averse to throwing the Doobster a dollar a month to keep the laughs coming but didn't it transpire his painting wasn't his?

# ? Jan 21, 2016 11:24