TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

Firebert: Aug 16, 2004

mike12345 posted:

Yeah it's great, now I've got that "Cowardice... are you serious?" line stuck in my head again.

The construction of that line is so terrible

Modern conservatism is so creatively bankrupt that their homage to "Tomorrow Belongs to Me" is lyrically deficient

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:37

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 27, 2024 14:57

Brodeurs Nanny: Nov 2, 2006

I don't know or care if this has been posted, but it's from today, and it's not an Onion article:

quote:

The campaign of former governor Mike Huckabee has announced that the Republican candidate will be performing with 80�s rock band FireHouse at the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, Iowa, tomorrow night.

�I�m thrilled about rocking-out with FireHouse in one of the coolest music venues in the world,� Huckabee says in a statement. �We want everyone to come out and join us for some great music and great times.�

It�s strange that the Huckabee press release says the former governor will �shred base guitar� � as it�s properly a bass guitar and not shreddable so much as slappable.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:38

velvet milkman: Feb 13, 2012; by R. Guyovich

Do Not Resuscitate posted:

This is a notable picture, not because half of the audience appears to be asleep, but because �Jeb! has rolled out yet another slogan:

TRUSTED LEADERSHIP for a STRONGER AMERICA

i'm the tshirt that says "I BUILT THE GUNS THAT MADE HISTORY."

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:39

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory/cruz-favorite-fellow-republican-senators-36423201

quote:

Still, Cruz has become such a pariah that one of his colleagues, Sen. Richard Burr of North Carolina, told supporters at a campaign fundraiser for his own re-election that he would vote for liberal Sen. Bernie Sanders for president before Cruz, according to one person who attended the event. Burr did not appear to be joking, said the person, who demanded anonymity to discuss the private gathering.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:40

pathetic little tramp: Dec 12, 2005; by Hillary Clinton's assassins; Fallen Rib

Montasque posted:

New Emerson College #Iowa Poll:
http://media.wix.com/ugd/3bebb2_542e7f5df4e14162851de1c77b0df5f4.pdf
Trump- 33%
Cruz- 23%
Rubio- 14%
Carson- 9%

So are these guys jokes or is the Cruz missile falling well short of the target?

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:40

logikv9: Mar 5, 2009; Ham Wrangler

I would seriously consider voting for Hitler if the choice was between him and Cruz.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:40

Xenophon: Jun 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless; Grimey Drawer

Montasque posted:

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory/cruz-favorite-fellow-republican-senators-36423201

This CNN piece dropped today too!

quote:

Washington (CNN)Republican Party leaders and prominent senators are sharpening their knives against Ted Cruz, expressing growing alarm over his candidacy as he continues to mount a serious threat in Iowa.

In interviews with CNN, a growing number of Republicans are beginning to echo remarks made by the likes of former Sen. Bob Dole and Iowa Gov. Terry Branstad, warning that the party would suffer deep losses down the ticket and risk electing a Democratic president if the Texas senator wins the nomination.

"I think we'll lose if he's our nominee," said Orrin Hatch, the most senior Republican in the Senate.

"There's a lot of people who don't feel he can appeal to people across the board," Hatch said. "For us to win, we have to appeal the moderates and independents. We can't just act like that only one point of view is the only way to go. That's where Ted is going to have some trouble."

"It would be a major challenge because of the wounds that are deep," said Indiana Sen. Dan Coats, who is neutral in the race so far.

"An awful lot of us really didn't like to be targeted as corrupt, establishment bought by the lobby establishment," Coats added. "It sure looks like someone was using it as a way to gain notoriety as the only true conservative in Washington."

"I've come around a little bit on Trump," Hatch said Thursday. "I'm not so sure we'd lose if he's our nominee because he's appealing to people who a lot of the Republican candidates have not appealed to in the past."

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:41

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

pathetic little tramp posted:

So are these guys jokes or is the Cruz missile falling well short of the target?

538 gives Emmerson college a C+ rating.

EDIT:

Trump was right again: Everyone hates Ted Cruz.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:42

Rhesus Pieces: Jun 27, 2005

Montasque posted:

New Emerson College #Iowa Poll:
http://media.wix.com/ugd/3bebb2_542e7f5df4e14162851de1c77b0df5f4.pdf
Trump- 33%
Cruz- 23%
Rubio- 14%
Carson- 9%

hahaha they're so hosed

Isn't it basically unprecedented for a non-incumbent GOP candidate to sweep IA, NH and SC?

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:43

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Rhesus Pieces posted:

hahaha they're so hosed

Isn't it basically unprecedented for a non-incumbent GOP candidate to sweep IA, NH and SC?

It's basically unprecedented for any candidate to do that. Even Dole lost NH to Buchanan.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:51

radical meme: Apr 17, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Can any of you tell us how Rush is handling the open hostility to Cruz by so many GOP politicians and party insiders.

I so badly want Trump to destroy both Cruz and talk radio.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:51

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

http://www.politico.com/story/2016/01/top-former-romney-aide-launches-anti-trump-super-pac-218071

They've done it! An anti-Trump superPac is in Iowa is finally happening!

quote:

The group, which is called Our Principles PAC, is founded by Katie Packer, a veteran Republican strategist who served as deputy campaign manager on Mitt Romney�s 2012 presidential campaign.

This week, the group sent out mailers to Iowa voters attacking Trump, who polls show is in a tight battle with Ted Cruz in the state, where caucuses are to be held on Feb. 1. In a filing with the Federal Election Commission, the group has reported spending nearly $45,000 on mailers.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:51

nachos: Jun 27, 2004; Wario Chalmers! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Do Not Resuscitate posted:

This is a notable picture, not because half of the audience appears to be asleep, but because �Jeb! has rolled out yet another slogan:

TRUSTED LEADERSHIP for a STRONGER AMERICA

I thought TRUSTED was Ted Cruz's slogan?

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:54

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

GOPe pretty much gave their full support to Trump when they agreed to not run attack ads against him, then honored that promise while he ran endless attacks against them. If you had any doubt about the pledge being the bending of the knee, the GOP using what little muscle they had to ensure the debates were in a Trump-friendly format (lots of people, ridiculous softball questions) should also be considered.

They're either playing 12 dimensional chess (and losing), or are the most profoundly incompetent force in politics today. Every dollar spent not attacking Trump right now is a dollar spent helping Trump get the nom, and they have spent zero dollars attacking him

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:56

William Bear: Oct 26, 2012; "That's what they all say!"

Montasque posted:

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory/cruz-favorite-fellow-republican-senators-36423201

Burr is a decent enough guy for a Republican.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:57

Thump!: Nov 25, 2007; Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!

Logikv9 posted:

I would seriously consider voting for Hitler if the choice was between him and Cruz.

If I was in a room with Ted Cruz, Adolf Hitler, and Osama Bin Laden, and I had a gun with only 2 bullets, I'd shoot Ted twice.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:57

Despera: Jun 6, 2011

Talk radio doesn't talk about Cruz much. The host will just go "he's the truest conservative" then change subjects.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 20:58

Louisgod: Sep 25, 2003; Always Watching; Bread Liar

Thump! posted:

If I was in a room with Ted Cruz, Adolf Hitler, and Osama Bin Laden, and I had a gun with only 2 bullets, I'd shoot Ted twice.

lol

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:00

Sono: Apr 9, 2008

Montasque posted:

the group has reported spending nearly $45,000 on mailers.

How many good bottles of Scotch is that?

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:01

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

What?

quote:

Ted Cruz revealed on Thursday that he is not currently covered by any health insurance, chalking up the lack of coverage to Obamacare.

"I�ll tell you, you know who one of those millions of Americans is who�s lost their health care because of Obamacare? That would be me," Cruz told a Manchester, New Hampshire, audience. "I don�t have health care right now."

Cruz explained that he had purchased an individual policy and that Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Texas had canceled all of their individual policies in Texas, effective Dec. 31. Cruz and his wife, Heidi, who is on temporary leave from her job with Goldman Sachs, purchased an individual plan last year after previously receiving coverage through the Wall Street firm. A spokeswoman for Cruz's campaign did not immediately respond to a request for comment to clarify his remarks.

"So our health care got canceled, we got a notice in the mail, Blue Cross Blue Shield was leaving the market. And so we�re in the process of finding another policy," Cruz said. "I hope by the end of the month we�ll have a policy for our family. But our premiums � we just got a quote, our premiums are going up 50 percent. That�s happening all over the country. That�s happening in New Hampshire."

It would appear that news of the cancellation did not go over well in the Cruz household.

"By the way, when you let your health insurance policy lapse, your wife gets really ticked at you," he remarked. "It�s not a good � I�ve had, shall we say, some intense conversations with Heidi on that."

http://www.politico.com/story/2016/01/ted-cruz-no-health-insurance-218070

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:01

Carl Killer Miller: Apr 28, 2007; This is the way that it all falls.
This is how I feel,
This is what I need:

Logikv9 posted:

I would seriously consider voting for Hitler if the choice was between him and Cruz.

Thanks for switching your hate group to jews, say he

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:02

Xenophon: Jun 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless; Grimey Drawer

https://twitter.com/KilloughCNN/status/690262814905212928

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:02

Brodeurs Nanny: Nov 2, 2006

Haha, of course his wife works for Goldman

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:02

William Bear: Oct 26, 2012; "That's what they all say!"

Montasque posted:

What?

http://www.politico.com/story/2016/01/ted-cruz-no-health-insurance-218070

Your wife should be ticked at you for not getting insurance through your employer you moron.

Are his kids covered? Please tell me they're not suffering for his idiocy.

William Bear fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Jan 21, 2016

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:03

Carl Killer Miller: Apr 28, 2007; This is the way that it all falls.
This is how I feel,
This is what I need:

nachos posted:

I thought TRUSTED was Ted Cruz's slogan?

T rust ED

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:03

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

Montasque posted:

What?

http://www.politico.com/story/2016/01/ted-cruz-no-health-insurance-218070

Hasn't it already been established that he's on his wife's plan from Goldman Sachs? What is his endgame here?

blablablabla posted:

Talk radio doesn't talk about Cruz much. The host will just go "he's the truest conservative" then change subjects.

This is the smartest tack when the dude you support is nothing but soft spots being punched. Just declare support emphatically and move on to trying to open up spots on the other guys. Levin's approach of "cry a lot about how unfair it is" a Bad Idea

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:04

radical meme: Apr 17, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Montasque posted:

What?

http://www.politico.com/story/2016/01/ted-cruz-no-health-insurance-218070

Well that's just false. I live in Texas, my Cigna policy was set to renew at a higher rate and I switched to Blue Cross & Blue Shield. Far from leaving the Texas market, they are one of the biggest in the State.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:05

Louisgod: Sep 25, 2003; Always Watching; Bread Liar

Epic High Five posted:

Hasn't it already been established that he's on his wife's plan from Goldman Sachs? What is his endgame here?

To blame Obama, obviously. I'd bet a bunch of money he had planned to let it lapse to bitch about the price as a tactic to BRING DOWN OBAMACARE, but then Trump happened.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:05

logikv9: Mar 5, 2009; Ham Wrangler

radical meme posted:

Well that's just false. I live in Texas, my Cigna policy was set to renew at a higher rate and I switched to Blue Cross & Blue Shield. Far from leaving the Texas market, they are one of the biggest in the State.

I refuse to believe that Ted "Honesty" Cruz would lie to me, the American voter.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:05

icantfindaname: Jul 1, 2008

Montasque posted:

New Emerson College #Iowa Poll:
http://media.wix.com/ugd/3bebb2_542e7f5df4e14162851de1c77b0df5f4.pdf
Trump- 33%
Cruz- 23%
Rubio- 14%
Carson- 9%

jesus christ the republicans are so hosed

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:07

InsanityIsCrazy: Jan 25, 2003; by Lowtax

Xenophon posted:

https://twitter.com/KilloughCNN/status/690262814905212928

i might actually die of laughter this year

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:08

Mitt Romney: Nov 9, 2005; dumb and bad

radical meme posted:

Well that's just false. I live in Texas, my Cigna policy was set to renew at a higher rate and I switched to Blue Cross & Blue Shield. Far from leaving the Texas market, they are one of the biggest in the State.

BCBS in a lot of states priced out a lot of the smaller guys in previous years then jacked up their rates this year.

BCBS also auto-renews you in new plans if your current plan is no longer offered, unless you specifically opt-out.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:09

icantfindaname: Jul 1, 2008

Rhesus Pieces posted:

hahaha they're so hosed

Isn't it basically unprecedented for a non-incumbent GOP candidate to sweep IA, NH and SC?

someone posted a Week article ITT that Trump has a good chance of having the strongest primary performance in GOP history for the last ~50 years, better than Reagan or Dubya

icantfindaname fucked around with this message at 21:22 on Jan 21, 2016

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:12

pathetic little tramp: Dec 12, 2005; by Hillary Clinton's assassins; Fallen Rib

He's dropping that factoid, he thinks, close enough to the caucus that it gets him some votes, but with not enough time to vet the fact that he's actually on his wife's billions of taxpayer bailout funded gold cadillac healthcare plan. He's pumping everything into not losing Iowa, but he's absolutely wrecked for anything else.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:15

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

MBQF Consulting Arizona poll:
http://m.bizjournals.com/phoenix/news/2016/01/20/exclusive-big-lead-for-donald-trump-in-arizona-gop.html
Trump - 38.3%
Cruz - 15.6%
Rubio - 11.4 %
Carson - 7.1%
Jeb - 7%

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:15

Despera: Jun 6, 2011

Poor Mark Levin, get the most conservative candidate you will ever get, and everyone votes for the Democratic that'll build a fence.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:17

Rhesus Pieces: Jun 27, 2005

icantfindaname posted:

someone posted a Week article ITT that Trump has a good chance of having the strongest primary performance in GOP history for the last ~50 years

The GOPe has progressed from "lol Trump" to "anybody but Trump!" to "gently caress it, he's better than that rear end in a top hat Cruz" in a loving hurry.

Can you imagine the fallout if they attempt some smoke-filled backroom poo poo in desperation? I wouldn't rule out actual violence breaking out at that point.

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:21

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

I try to imagine Donald J Trump in the general election and every time I try I start laughing.

How is this real? How is any of this real?

# ? Jan 21, 2016 21:24

SHY NUDIST GRRL: Feb 15, 2011; Communism will help more white people than anyone else. Any equal measures unfairly provide less to minority populations just because there's less of them. Democracy is truly the tyranny of the mob.