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GNU Order
Feb 28, 2011

That's a paddlin'

Ron Jeremy posted:

I got volunteered to coach my kids flag football team. I have no idea what I'm doing. One of the other coaches in our division is the 20yr tenure high school football coach.

How the hell do I run the ball in a zero contact league?

Trick plays. Mountains and mountains of trick plays. Post the rule book and we will loving run that thing over with a microscope to find you loopholes and you can style on clowns all year with a hundred different trick plays.

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Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008
Run the A-11

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

Ron Jeremy posted:

I got volunteered to coach my kids flag football team. I have no idea what I'm doing. One of the other coaches in our division is the 20yr tenure high school football coach.

How the hell do I run the ball in a zero contact league?

Tosses, counters, and misdirection. Not sure if it's allowed in your league but back when I played flag football as a kid we had a play where the tackle pulls toward the ball and gets handed the ball.

Vando
Oct 26, 2007

stoats about

Ron Jeremy posted:

I got volunteered to coach my kids flag football team. I have no idea what I'm doing. One of the other coaches in our division is the 20yr tenure high school football coach.

How the hell do I run the ball in a zero contact league?

If you make a thread I'm sure the collective football brain of TFF could generate a playbook

Ghost of Reagan Past
Oct 7, 2003

rock and roll fun

Ron Jeremy posted:

I got volunteered to coach my kids flag football team. I have no idea what I'm doing. One of the other coaches in our division is the 20yr tenure high school football coach.

How the hell do I run the ball in a zero contact league?
Dunno the rules but shotgun triple option would probably be effective. QB about to get touched? gently caress it, pitch.

Speed option would probably be the simplest play, because it is really simple, too.

Shangri-Law School
Feb 19, 2013

gently caress the triple option, run the triple quarterback.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cD8GVAJk2lM

El Seano
Dec 30, 2008
I would love to read a thread where goons come up with the playbook for that touch football team.

Proust Malone
Apr 4, 2008

El Seano posted:

I would love to read a thread where goons come up with the playbook for that touch football team.

I made a thread.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3761210

Adrenalist
Jul 8, 2009
What do star ratings for college football prospects actually mean? It seems strange to me that some 3* prospects will get offers from top schools--shouldn't the top schools have access to enough talent where they'd never have to sign a 3*? (except at, like, kicker or if they had to sign someone's brother too, I guess.)

Deteriorata
Feb 6, 2005

Adrenalist posted:

What do star ratings for college football prospects actually mean? It seems strange to me that some 3* prospects will get offers from top schools--shouldn't the top schools have access to enough talent where they'd never have to sign a 3*? (except at, like, kicker or if they had to sign someone's brother too, I guess.)

My understanding is that the ratings represent a rough probability that the player will be a starter before he graduates. It's an educated guess.

Good coaches can recognize a diamond in the rough. A 3* prospect that has a lot of growing to do and technique to learn can become a great player. Also, teams need practice squads and substitutes, and there are only so many 5* to go around.

swickles
Aug 21, 2006

I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some QB that I used to know
Only a handful of players get a 5* rating, and its not like the top 5 or 10 whatever. They don't give out a set number of 5*s every year, so some you may only have 3 and some years you will have like 10 or more. Even being a 3* is a huge deal, in fact being known enough to even have a star ranking means at some time scouts thought you were worth following. College rosters are huge, and there are a lot of programs, many of whom fighting over the top recruits so they have to fill the roster.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!
It's also worth noting that recruiting news is a really scummy industry. Bob Knight once completely made up a recruit from Yugoslavia and all of a sudden a bunch of recruiting services had bios up on the (completely non-existant) kid.

Things are a little better now but there's still a lot of "oh Alabama is recruiting this kid? He must be good" and they automatically get a little bump.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


The whole system is a big zany in the first place anyhow. Observe these quarterbacks that Penn State has had:

2013-2015: Christian Hackenberg, 5* and #2 Pro-Style QB prospect. Aside from a good 2013 season was mediocre at best. Never won more than 7 games in a season.
2011-2012: Matt McGloin, unrated walk-on. After a rough start, turned out to be way better than you'd think, holds four team records and briefly served as Raiders starting QB. Went 8-4 in 2012, with several upsets, in a season that lots of people expected to be horrible.
2010-2011: Robert Bolden, 4* and a top ten QB with all the major recruiting sites. Was horrible, ended up as fourth string QB at LSU, and they tried to make him a WR. Eventually wound up at Western Michigan. Went 7-6 in 2010.
2008-2009: Daryll Clark, 3*. Won Big Ten Championship in 2008 and held five team records when he graduated. Beat out 4* and top five prospect Pat Devlin for starting job (Devlin never saw significant time and transferred to Delaware.) Went 22-4 as a starter.
2006-2007: Anthony Morelli, 5* and GOOD GRAVY the best ever on paper. Was an Elite 11 QB. Never really turned the corner and ended up being a serviceable, but not good, QB. 18-8 as a starter.
2005: Michael Robinson, couldn't even find what he was, but given his high school career he may have been 4*. Saw lots of action in 2003 and 2004, but wasn't starter and even played RB and WR as needed. Won the Big Ten championship (11-1 as full time starter), had a modest NFL career, went to the Pro Bowl once, caught a touchdown pass in a Super Bowl, has a ring.

Most of that is the opposite of what the stars would have suggested!

JesustheDarkLord
May 22, 2006

#VolsDeep
Lipstick Apathy
Also, coaches probably don't look at star ratings as part of their evaluation. I mean, most probably do but they shouldnt.

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010

Sash! posted:

The whole system is a big zany in the first place anyhow. Observe these quarterbacks that Penn State has had:

2013-2015: Christian Hackenberg, 5* and #2 Pro-Style QB prospect. Aside from a good 2013 season was mediocre at best. Never won more than 7 games in a season.
2011-2012: Matt McGloin, unrated walk-on. After a rough start, turned out to be way better than you'd think, holds four team records and briefly served as Raiders starting QB. Went 8-4 in 2012, with several upsets, in a season that lots of people expected to be horrible.
2010-2011: Robert Bolden, 4* and a top ten QB with all the major recruiting sites. Was horrible, ended up as fourth string QB at LSU, and they tried to make him a WR. Eventually wound up at Western Michigan. Went 7-6 in 2010.
2008-2009: Daryll Clark, 3*. Won Big Ten Championship in 2008 and held five team records when he graduated. Beat out 4* and top five prospect Pat Devlin for starting job (Devlin never saw significant time and transferred to Delaware.) Went 22-4 as a starter.
2006-2007: Anthony Morelli, 5* and GOOD GRAVY the best ever on paper. Was an Elite 11 QB. Never really turned the corner and ended up being a serviceable, but not good, QB. 18-8 as a starter.
2005: Michael Robinson, couldn't even find what he was, but given his high school career he may have been 4*. Saw lots of action in 2003 and 2004, but wasn't starter and even played RB and WR as needed. Won the Big Ten championship (11-1 as full time starter), had a modest NFL career, went to the Pro Bowl once, caught a touchdown pass in a Super Bowl, has a ring.

Most of that is the opposite of what the stars would have suggested!

You're making Bolden sound better than he was--he actually ended up at EASTERN Michigan.

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


Henchman of Santa posted:

You're making Bolden sound better than he was--he actually ended up at EASTERN Michigan.

that guy ain't rowing poo poo

pangstrom
Jan 25, 2003

Wedge Regret
Seeing how NFL teams get draft picks wrong all the time I am surprised college teams do as well as they do. It's a hard problem even if you have a lot of resources.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

pangstrom posted:

Seeing how NFL teams get draft picks wrong all the time I am surprised college teams do as well as they do. It's a hard problem even if you have a lot of resources.

To be fair, colleges don't draft like pro teams do. It's not a "You get to pick one guy per turn and if he's a bust, he's a bust" in college. You get much more of a chance to test them out before they commit.

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

Grittybeard posted:

It's also worth noting that recruiting news is a really scummy industry. Bob Knight once completely made up a recruit from Yugoslavia and all of a sudden a bunch of recruiting services had bios up on the (completely non-existant) kid.

:laffo:

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


Henchman of Santa posted:

You're making Bolden sound better than he was--he actually ended up at EASTERN Michigan.

Ha, that's right. I legit feel bad for the guy. He flopped so bad, but Paterno wouldn't pull him and look like he'd made a mistake in starting him over Kevin Newsome (who was fairly highly rated as I recall). Then he tried to transfer and they wouldn't release him. The Sandusky stuff was the only reason he was allowed to escape, but it was far too late for him by then. Newsome left too and I have no idea what happened to him.

Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




Sash! posted:

The whole system is a big zany in the first place anyhow. Observe these quarterbacks that Penn State has had:

2013-2015: Christian Hackenberg, 5* and #2 Pro-Style QB prospect. Aside from a good 2013 season was mediocre at best. Never won more than 7 games in a season.
2011-2012: Matt McGloin, unrated walk-on. After a rough start, turned out to be way better than you'd think, holds four team records and briefly served as Raiders starting QB. Went 8-4 in 2012, with several upsets, in a season that lots of people expected to be horrible.
2010-2011: Robert Bolden, 4* and a top ten QB with all the major recruiting sites. Was horrible, ended up as fourth string QB at LSU, and they tried to make him a WR. Eventually wound up at Western Michigan. Went 7-6 in 2010.
2008-2009: Daryll Clark, 3*. Won Big Ten Championship in 2008 and held five team records when he graduated. Beat out 4* and top five prospect Pat Devlin for starting job (Devlin never saw significant time and transferred to Delaware.) Went 22-4 as a starter.
2006-2007: Anthony Morelli, 5* and GOOD GRAVY the best ever on paper. Was an Elite 11 QB. Never really turned the corner and ended up being a serviceable, but not good, QB. 18-8 as a starter.
2005: Michael Robinson, couldn't even find what he was, but given his high school career he may have been 4*. Saw lots of action in 2003 and 2004, but wasn't starter and even played RB and WR as needed. Won the Big Ten championship (11-1 as full time starter), had a modest NFL career, went to the Pro Bowl once, caught a touchdown pass in a Super Bowl, has a ring.

Most of that is the opposite of what the stars would have suggested!

what was Zack Mills

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


DOOP posted:

what was Zack Mills

a collective fever dream. Zack Mills never happened

Wouldn't his recruiting stuff be from, like, 1999? We'd need an actual paper magazine for that!

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

Sash! posted:

Ha, that's right. I legit feel bad for the guy. He flopped so bad, but Paterno wouldn't pull him and look like he'd made a mistake in starting him over Kevin Newsome (who was fairly highly rated as I recall). Then he tried to transfer and they wouldn't release him. The Sandusky stuff was the only reason he was allowed to escape, but it was far too late for him by then. Newsome left too and I have no idea what happened to him.

Transferred to Temple, left football after spending all of 2012 as the third string QB and expected to become an RB next season.

Serotonin
Jul 14, 2001

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of *blank*
Dumb as this sounds having just got Madden 2016 in the EA PS4 sale purely on a nostalgia vibe ( the first Madden was my favourite game on the Genesis as a kid) I've got the strangest urge to get back in to watching football. I'm a Brit and the last time I was massively into football Joe Theismanns leg break broke my heart and The Fridge and the Bears were all anyone talked about. Now I look at the NFL and I don't recognise half the teams let alone the players. Who do I support? The Steelers were always my back up team after the Redskins but reading the OP I might feel like a glory hunter if I started supporting them. And the Redskins apparently suck now, the name is apparently slightly problematic now and red ain't my colour ( too close to Manchester United). Oh well will have to get watching next season and see who takes my fancy.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Serotonin posted:

Dumb as this sounds having just got Madden 2016 in the EA PS4 sale purely on a nostalgia vibe ( the first Madden was my favourite game on the Genesis as a kid) I've got the strangest urge to get back in to watching football. I'm a Brit and the last time I was massively into football Joe Theismanns leg break broke my heart and The Fridge and the Bears were all anyone talked about. Now I look at the NFL and I don't recognise half the teams let alone the players. Who do I support? The Steelers were always my back up team after the Redskins but reading the OP I might feel like a glory hunter if I started supporting them. And the Redskins apparently suck now, the name is apparently slightly problematic now and red ain't my colour ( too close to Manchester United). Oh well will have to get watching next season and see who takes my fancy.

As one of the few other UK posters here, might I suggest the crushing disappointment of the Buffalo Bills.

Cuz the Steelers QB is a rapist and the Washington owner is a racist and a dick.

Serotonin
Jul 14, 2001

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of *blank*

Hijo Del Helmsley posted:

As one of the few other UK posters here, might I suggest the crushing disappointment of the Buffalo Bills.

Cuz the Steelers QB is a rapist and the Washington owner is a racist and a dick.

I do crushing disappointment well being British and a West Ham fan. You make a convincing case.

Mystic Stylez
Dec 19, 2009

Serotonin posted:

Dumb as this sounds having just got Madden 2016 in the EA PS4 sale purely on a nostalgia vibe ( the first Madden was my favourite game on the Genesis as a kid) I've got the strangest urge to get back in to watching football. I'm a Brit and the last time I was massively into football Joe Theismanns leg break broke my heart and The Fridge and the Bears were all anyone talked about. Now I look at the NFL and I don't recognise half the teams let alone the players. Who do I support? The Steelers were always my back up team after the Redskins but reading the OP I might feel like a glory hunter if I started supporting them. And the Redskins apparently suck now, the name is apparently slightly problematic now and red ain't my colour ( too close to Manchester United). Oh well will have to get watching next season and see who takes my fancy.

What team do you support in soccer? Let's try to draw a dumb parallel.

e:f;b - Pick the Bills, the Browns or the Lions

j/k pick whatever you find cool/good except the Patriots and the Steelers.

Serotonin
Jul 14, 2001

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of *blank*

Mystic Stylez posted:

What team do you support in soccer? Let's try to draw a dumb parallel.

e:f;b - Pick the Bills, the Browns or the Lions

j/k pick whatever you find cool/good except the Patriots and the Steelers.

West Ham. I love dumb parallels. Go for it.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Serotonin posted:

I do crushing disappointment well being British and a West Ham fan. You make a convincing case.

So a team who fairly near to, and have an inferiority complex regarding, a major city.

Still pointing Bills here.

Mystic Stylez
Dec 19, 2009

Serotonin posted:

West Ham. I love dumb parallels. Go for it.

I'm not an expert on "not the biggest" english teams (I mostly watch brazilian soccer, aka the best sport). I remember that West Ham had a pretty decent squad in the 60s, prior to the 66 World Cup? Then the New York Jets. It's also a pretty disappointing franchise so you'll be at home!

If you want to be a cool kid and support the best team of the NFL, though, then come with us and play like be a Raven! You're welcome!

Mystic Stylez fucked around with this message at 23:01 on Feb 6, 2016

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!
^^--Raiders is another option along those lines but they might actually be getting good again. Well the Jets are somewhat promising themselves I guess, but the Raiders have a QB.

Serotonin posted:

Dumb as this sounds having just got Madden 2016 in the EA PS4 sale purely on a nostalgia vibe ( the first Madden was my favourite game on the Genesis as a kid) I've got the strangest urge to get back in to watching football. I'm a Brit and the last time I was massively into football Joe Theismanns leg break broke my heart and The Fridge and the Bears were all anyone talked about. Now I look at the NFL and I don't recognise half the teams let alone the players. Who do I support? The Steelers were always my back up team after the Redskins but reading the OP I might feel like a glory hunter if I started supporting them. And the Redskins apparently suck now, the name is apparently slightly problematic now and red ain't my colour ( too close to Manchester United). Oh well will have to get watching next season and see who takes my fancy.

Let's see, yeah this isn't in the archives yet. Someone with the same question asked a while back, you can read some responses there or bump it if you have your own questions.

e: Oh god reading why the Lions are worth watching in that thread is so sad :(

Grittybeard fucked around with this message at 23:05 on Feb 6, 2016

Serotonin
Jul 14, 2001

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of *blank*

Mystic Stylez posted:

I'm not an expert on "not the biggest" english teams (I mostly watch brazilian soccer, aka the best sport). I remember that West Ham had a pretty decent squad in the 60s, prior to the 66 World Cup? Then the New York Jets. It's also a pretty disappointing franchise so you'll be at home!

Bang on. We provided the most important players to the 66 England team and won't ever shut up about it despite having won close to gently caress all ever since.

Serotonin
Jul 14, 2001

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of *blank*

Grittybeard posted:

^^--Raiders is another option along those lines but they might actually be getting good again. Well the Jets are somewhat promising themselves I guess, but the Raiders have a QB.


Let's see, yeah this isn't in the archives yet. Someone with the same question asked a while back, you can read some responses there or bump it if you have your own questions.


Can't do West Coast. Rap/Thrash in the 80s was always East coast for me.

Will have a read of that thread. Cheers.

swickles
Aug 21, 2006

I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some QB that I used to know
Picking the Pats now isn't that bad considering Tom Brady is a washed up fraud and Belichick is your mom's library copy of 50 Shades of Grey considering how checked out he is.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

swickles posted:

Picking the Pats now isn't that bad considering Tom Brady is a washed up fraud and Belichick is your mom's library copy of 50 Shades of Grey considering how checked out he is.

Nah it's still awful because it's still the Pats.

Serotonin
Jul 14, 2001

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of *blank*
Plus as a Brit the word Patriots gives me the wobbles. I'm not ready to wave little flags yet. It's definitely got to be a team on East side of USA because time zone wise following matches might be a bit easier. I did also consider the Atlanta Falcons as I spent a very drunk and fun weekend there in mid 90s.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Falcons would be a good call, because Eastern, a world-class player in Julio Jones, yet also crushing misery.

At least they get to be the 1 in the (soon to be) 18-1 Panthers.


(e): Yeah, timezones don't matter much. I followed the Raiders for most of this season. They're about as west coast as you can get, and I think I only had to miss one or two games due to time.

It's only really college football where timezones are important, because they don't start at a standard time like the NFL.

Gyro Zeppeli fucked around with this message at 01:21 on Feb 7, 2016

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

Serotonin posted:

It's definitely got to be a team on East side of USA because time zone wise following matches might be a bit easier. I did also consider the Atlanta Falcons as I spent a very drunk and fun weekend there in mid 90s.

This makes a little less difference than you'd think. You can pick anyone in the middle of the USA too because they all play on east coast time, and if you pick an NFC East team they're more likely to play in that week's prime time or later afternoon (in the US) game because they're the NFC East and TV dictates that's what US viewers want to watch because they're all big cities.

Like, I wouldn't call the Titans east coast, but they're playing damned near all their games in the early slot because that's how it works.

Serotonin
Jul 14, 2001

The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of *blank*

Hijo Del Helmsley posted:

Falcons would be a good call, because Eastern, a world-class player in Julio Jones, yet also crushing misery.

At least they get to be the 1 in the (soon to be) 18-1 Panthers.

I've never heard of the Titans before. I did spend a month in Memphis just before I hit Atlanta. I managed to get mugged in my first week. Not sure if that endears Tennessee to me or not.

Just read this in a Deadspin article about the Falcons

quote:

The Falcons are the type of a team that will put up 50 and look like an actual contender for a Super Bowl in one week, and then in the very next week will play like they stole some players off the Georgia State roster.


That does sound uncannily like my soccer team, West Ham...

Serotonin fucked around with this message at 01:25 on Feb 7, 2016

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Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Serotonin posted:

I've never heard of the Titans before. I did spend a month in Memphis just before I hit Atlanta. I managed to get mugged in my first week. Not sure if that endears Tennessee to me or not.

Just read this in a Deadspin article about the Falcons


That does sound uncannily like my soccer tea, West Ham...

Falcons started this season 6-0 and looked like they finally turned a corner...then lost all but one of the rest of their games. The only team they beat were the Panthers, who are now likely to win the Super Bowl.

Saying that out loud makes me realize how loving WEIRD the Falcons are in terms of ability.

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