tech bubble: Make someone ugly cry. Adobe can help.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > tech bubble: Make someone ugly cry. Adobe can help.

«‹›3489 »

Optimus_Rhyme: Apr 15, 2007; are you that mainframe hacker guy?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D34ULTkwJKg

# ? Jan 29, 2016 17:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 3, 2024 18:08

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

Plorkyeran posted:

i'm guessing they do 90% of the prep in advance and do just enough at your house to let your guests see a chef in your kitchen preparing their meals

yeah, this doesn't seem that bad to me. It's catering with a little extra show thrown in so you can feel like your party is fancy. not quite the same as buying an indentured servant at 50% off via app because the startup that hired them is skirting the law.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 17:23

TheMadMilkman: Dec 10, 2007

ultramiraculous posted:

this will end well i'm sure

So do they actually employ chefs, or are they an interactive app marketplace that facilitates connections between eaters and chefs?

Don't actually tell me, though, because I already know the answer without even looking at the website.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 17:23

ultramiraculous: Nov 12, 2003; "No..."; Grimey Drawer

learned pro-tip: send your nanny to a high-end cooking school and get a nanny + personal chef for the price of one

# ? Jan 29, 2016 17:28

Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; Sweet tricks, mom.

TheMadMilkman posted:

So do they actually employ chefs, or are they an interactive app marketplace that facilitates connections between eaters and chefs?

Don't actually tell me, though, because I already know the answer without even looking at the website.

that's already seamless

# ? Jan 29, 2016 17:29

cinci zoo sniper: Mar 15, 2013

https://twitter.com/Pinboard/status/692481935071920128

# ? Jan 29, 2016 17:33

ArmedZombie: Jun 6, 2004; Can't post for 5 hours!

kalstrams posted:

https://twitter.com/Pinboard/status/692481935071920128

https://www.givedirectly.org/

# ? Jan 29, 2016 17:38

EIDE Van Hagar: Dec 8, 2000; Beep Boop

Optimus_Rhyme posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D34ULTkwJKg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owI7DOeO_yg

# ? Jan 29, 2016 18:04

Arcteryx Anarchist: Sep 15, 2007; Fun Shoe

kalstrams posted:

https://twitter.com/Pinboard/status/692481935071920128

my favorite part about things like this is how a bunch of college dropouts and anti-college types like to frame statements in academic language

# ? Jan 29, 2016 18:12

cinci zoo sniper: Mar 15, 2013

lancemantis posted:

my favorite part about things like this is how a bunch of college dropouts and anti-college types like to frame statements in academic language

thats a pro thing to do imho since when you go for the smart words just because they are supposed to be smart, you end up with statements hilariously open to interpretation in the best case

# ? Jan 29, 2016 18:17

Progressive JPEG: Feb 19, 2003

kwinkles posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owI7DOeO_yg

that's our Britain! :iamafag:

# ? Jan 29, 2016 18:25

triple sulk: Sep 17, 2014

TheMadMilkman posted:

So do they actually employ chefs, or are they an interactive app marketplace that facilitates connections between eaters and chefs?

Don't actually tell me, though, because I already know the answer without even looking at the website.

TALENTED, LOCAL, PROFESSIONAL

We hold ourselves to the same standards as the best restaurants in San Franscisco and beyond. Our in-house training program, Kitchit Academy, ensures that chefs deliver a consistent experience that our diners can trust. Created by top local chefs, our �curriculum� covers everything from the individual dishes on your menu to our high standards for service, cleanup, and friendliness.

TRUSTED BY KITCHIT

Every chef on Kitchit has interviewed in person and passed a background check. Their work in your home is covered by our $1,000,000 Diner Guarantee.

TRAINED FOR YOUR MEAL

We hold ourselves to the same standards as the best restaurants in San Franscisco and beyond. Our in-house training program, Kitchit Academy, ensures that chefs deliver a consistent experience that our diners can trust. Created by top local chefs, our �curriculum� covers everything from the individual dishes on your menu to our high standards for service, cleanup, and friendliness.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 18:54

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

good thing chefs are used to making $15/hour

# ? Jan 29, 2016 19:01

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

apparently they used to be a service for booking private chefs for dinner parties, allowing you to select the chef you wanted and corresponding price per person that chef was bidding at. but that wasn't a large enough market for the investors so it changed to the targeted only at techbro service you see now

# ? Jan 29, 2016 19:16

KidVanguard: Jan 27, 2006; American Diaper

qirex posted:

good thing chefs are used to making $15/hour

they are.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 20:04

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

that app will be a good way to get coke on demand & find new cocaine connections

# ? Jan 29, 2016 20:07

DONT THREAD ON ME: Oct 1, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo; Floss Finder

ultramiraculous posted:

this will end well i'm sure

are the chefs sourced uber style? only way this makes sense

# ? Jan 29, 2016 20:13

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

Xaris posted:

that app will be a good way to get coke on demand & find new cocaine connections

score: 5; insightful

# ? Jan 29, 2016 20:19

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

KidVanguard posted:

they are.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 20:21

Mahatma Goonsay: Jun 6, 2007; Yum

triple sulk posted:

TALENTED, LOCAL, PROFESSIONAL

We hold ourselves to the same standards as the best restaurants in San Franscisco and beyond. Our in-house training program, Kitchit Academy, ensures that chefs deliver a consistent experience that our diners can trust. Created by top local chefs, our �curriculum� covers everything from the individual dishes on your menu to our high standards for service, cleanup, and friendliness.

TRUSTED BY KITCHIT

Every chef on Kitchit has interviewed in person and passed a background check. Their work in your home is covered by our $1,000,000 Diner Guarantee.

TRAINED FOR YOUR MEAL

We hold ourselves to the same standards as the best restaurants in San Franscisco and beyond. Our in-house training program, Kitchit Academy, ensures that chefs deliver a consistent experience that our diners can trust. Created by top local chefs, our �curriculum� covers everything from the individual dishes on your menu to our high standards for service, cleanup, and friendliness.

has anyone said kitshit yet?

# ? Jan 29, 2016 20:47

ADINSX: Sep 9, 2003; Wanna run with my crew huh? Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?

I just catered a noisebridge function and someone took a poo poo on my kit

# ? Jan 29, 2016 20:48

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

quote:

The following list of prohibited items is a guide only and not intended to be all-inclusive:

Bags larger than 18" by 18" in size

Alcohol

Bikes, pedicabs, roller skates, roller blades, skateboards, "Razor" style boards, Segway personal transports, hover boards, or any other self-propelled device

Drones

Coolers or containers

Firearms, fireworks & explosives

Sticks, rods, bars or poles of any kind [insert joke about the one up someone's rear end here]

Dangerous weapons including any type of edged weapon to include knives, impact weapons and electric pulse weapons

Flags or banners with poles and non-approved commercial signage

Sprays & pepper sprays

Laser pointers

Stunning devices

Shopping carts

Demonstration articles or items including tents

Offensive weapons

Folding chairs or lawn chairs

Illegal drugs or substances

Smoking cigarettes or e-cigarettes, chewing tobacco

Radios, walkie talkies, jammers, scanners

Portable speakers

Wireless access points

Hazardous and toxic materials

Pets and animals will not be permitted through the site during Super Bowl City opening hours except for service and support animals, such as guide dogs, assisting those with disabilities

Any item deemed inappropriate or hazardous by Super Bowl City security [So, basically, the "because I say so" security line catchall]

reminder approximately 5,000 people work at offices inside the bounds of "Super Bowl City" so no myfis or umbrellas!

# ? Jan 29, 2016 21:19

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

in actual bubble news, it turns out that rushing into a "space" with super low entry and a ton of competitors with no revenue plan isn't the best idea

quote:

Three months ago, the classifieds app VarageSale began testing a credit-card payment feature that was free for users, but a money-loser for the company. That point was noteworthy because VarageSale doesn�t generate any revenue of its own. Turns out you can only live on venture funding for so long.

The Toronto-based company, which has raised more than $34 million from Sequoia Capital and others, has laid off about one-third of its staff, according to a source. CEO Carl Mercier didn�t immediately respond to a request for comment.

In a statement to the Canadian startup news site BetaKit, Mercier called the cuts an �effort to streamline our operations.�

�This decision was incredibly difficult, and we can�t thank these amazing people enough for their contribution,� the statement read. �The result is ultimately what we believe we had to do to continue building towards our vision.� He said the company had laid off 26 employees.

The four-year-old startup is one of several competitors engaged in a high-cost battle to try to become the next Craigslist, one that is more visually appealing and made specifically for mobile phones. Most of these startups are not generating any revenue of significance, instead banking heavily on venture money to advertise their way to the top of app store rankings. Three out of the top five shopping apps for the iPhone in the U.S. are in this space. VarageSale, on the hand, currently ranks No. 100.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 21:30

Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; Sweet tricks, mom.

i'm really happy craigslist is still ugly as gently caress and looks just as shady as it should, it's like the anti-startup aesthetic

# ? Jan 29, 2016 21:33

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

craig has turned down hundreds of millions of dollars in offers over the years, he's just a principled dude :unsmith:

# ? Jan 29, 2016 21:34

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

so wait, that's literally a list of things that cannot enter the entire area?

i couldn't ride my bike to work, or carry the pocket knife that i always do, have any of the tools i carry back and forth ("rods, bars or poles of any kind")? lest some 10th-percentile rent-a-cop take all my stuff?

gently caress the super bowl

# ? Jan 29, 2016 21:36

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

craigslist doesn't even have an official app that i can find. refreshing.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 21:36

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

qirex posted:

Sprays & pepper sprays

i bet that rentacops trying to confiscate pepper spray is a good way to get sprayed

# ? Jan 29, 2016 21:44

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

qirex posted:

craig has turned down hundreds of millions of dollars in offers over the years, he's just a principled dude

craig owns

# ? Jan 29, 2016 21:48

ADINSX: Sep 9, 2003; Wanna run with my crew huh? Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?

Vicas posted:

i'm really happy craigslist is still ugly as gently caress and looks just as shady as it should, it's like the anti-startup aesthetic

I wish they had better map integration though, the fact that stuff like padmapper exists is sort of a testament to how they've been coasting.

I like the aesthetic though, keep it simple, but I wanna be able to easily see items on a map

# ? Jan 29, 2016 22:03

aardvaard: Mar 4, 2013; you belong in the bog of eternal stench

FMguru posted:

craig owns

except for the really dumb lawsuits

# ? Jan 29, 2016 22:07

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

Vicas posted:

i'm really happy craigslist is still ugly as gently caress and looks just as shady as it should, it's like the anti-startup aesthetic

craigslist is at this point the most honest site and user-friendly on the internet

# ? Jan 29, 2016 23:43

kitten emergency: Jan 13, 2008; get meow this wack-ass crystal prison

qirex posted:

in actual bubble news, it turns out that rushing into a "space" with super low entry and a ton of competitors with no revenue plan isn't the best idea

reminds me of all these apps I see running ads where you take a picture of your poo poo and sell it. same diff I guess.

# ? Jan 29, 2016 23:50

maniacdevnull: Apr 18, 2007; FOUR CUBIC FRAMES
DISPROVES SOFT G GOD
YOU ARE EDUCATED STUPID

uncurable mlady posted:

reminds me of all these apps I see running ads where you take a picture of your poo poo and sell it. same diff I guess.

Are they paired with my new subsistence income employment app, hand2mouth?

E: hnd2mth

# ? Jan 30, 2016 00:30

Asymmetric POSTer: Aug 17, 2005

maniacdevnull posted:

E: hnd2mth

dont google our name!

# ? Jan 30, 2016 00:32

Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; Sweet tricks, mom.

uncurable mlady posted:

reminds me of all these apps I see running ads where you take a picture of your poo poo and sell it. same diff I guess.

ebay?

# ? Jan 30, 2016 00:43

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

one day when the prophecy is fulfilled the beast will rise from the saturated dirt of the techcropolis a gruesome internet of hellish things lashed together with crowd-sourced sinew and fueld by an endless train of tech-bros shoveling each other into the maw

standing against it is craig.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 01:41