Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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Jurgan: May 8, 2007; Just pour it directly into your gaping mouth-hole you decadent slut

muscles like this? posted:

Hey, BILL THE BUTCHER WAS THE BAD GUY OF THE MOVIE.

Keeping those drat ~~Irish~~ immigrants from stealing the jobs of good white men? Bill was an American hero!

The Dark One posted:

"Well, we could have garbage trucks and clean sewage lines carry all this away like rich people have, but... nah, it'd be more fun to destroy the environment we live in."

# ? Jan 30, 2016 06:47

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 7, 2024 21:17

SlipUp: Sep 30, 2006; stayin c o o l

VorpalBunny posted:

That's really what I meant, not taxing you for buying a jersey or whatever, but pulling aside ten cents for every taxpayer dollar wasted on plans, meetings, bloated budgets for construction, all that stupid poo poo. I don't even want to know how much money has been burned by the City of Los Angeles over the past decade on this stupid distraction.

So a tax on spending tax dollars?

Sorry to be stick in the mud but I bet LA spends more than 10% of the cost of building a stadium on services already.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 07:50

Seraphic Neoman: Jul 19, 2011

It's Ted Cruz! He's like the least interesting man in the world! And Jonathan Goldsmith is a much cooler guy who has mellow beliefs and supports charities! gently caress you, macro!

Goddamn I think I'm starting to hear dogwhistles at this point

# ? Jan 30, 2016 07:59

socialsecurity: Aug 30, 2003

Obama had friends and ate pizza and probably smoked pot in college is the worst line of attack ever, it makes him seem like a real person as opposed to say Ted Cruz

# ? Jan 30, 2016 08:22

KomradeX: Oct 29, 2011

SSNeoman posted:

Goddamn I think I'm starting to hear dogwhistles at this point

That picture is aggressively 70s

# ? Jan 30, 2016 08:41

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Sebadoh Gigante posted:

Me: "Goku was assassinated by the people he trusted."

Her: "And Napolean lost in the end...."

Other dude: "But not before conquering the KNOWN WORLD."

# ? Jan 30, 2016 09:33

inkblot: Feb 22, 2003; by Nyc_Tattoo

SSNeoman posted:

Do I look like I know what a jpeg is? I just want a picture of a gat-dang dogwhistle.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 10:33

Fulchrum: Apr 16, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Keeshhound posted:

Illegal or not, I give it ten shots before it malfunctions, explodes, and takes off the wielder's hand.

Hence why it's not illegal.

But that won't happen to PROUD PATRIOTS, who are so smart they know that they're smarter than all those scientists and experts. See, if they make it, then it will be awesome and always work, and make the black president resign in a day.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 11:05

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

ToxicSlurpee posted:

That isn't entirely true. I think it's actually perfectly legal over most of the U.S. (all of it?) to make a gun in your garage. Probably illegal to sell one but still legal to make one. Far as I know, anyway...I'm not a lawyer or police person at all.

What it is however is incredibly loving stupid. One reason making a homemade gun is a bad idea is because it's dangerous to actually fire the drat thing.

A prototype firearm may be manufactured without its maker being licensed under the Gun Control Act 1968, provided that the firearm is not for sale or distribution.
The making of a 'firearm' as defined by the National Firearms Act is subject to ATF approval, and to the tax and registration requirements of the act.

In short, if you want to try your hand at making a sporting rifle or a fancy shotgun or whatever, that's fine. If you want to make a short-barreled shotgun or rifle or a full-auto SMG, which I assume that PoS in macro is supposed to be, that's not fine. It needs a tax stamp and a registration and laughing at.

That said, the hysteria over '3D printed guns' needs laughing at too.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 12:38

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

SSNeoman posted:

Goddamn I think I'm starting to hear dogwhistles at this point

Your other potential president (Romney) was at this time hiding in France to be prevent being drafted for Nam.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 14:12

V-Men: Aug 15, 2001; Don't it make your dick bust concrete to be in the same room with two noble, selfless public servants.

Ashcans posted:

The entire US armed forces is only 1.3m and another 850k in the reserves. If you made two-year service mandatory you would be adding something like 8m people to the armed forces. Let's go ahead and assume a bunch of those people might already enlist or have some reason they can't, and say you would be adding 6m to the forces instead.

I am sure that our professional, volunteer army would be just thrilled to have triple its number of unwilling, untrained grunts dropped in its lap.

On the other hand, I guess that make the entire country eligible for veterans healthcare, so its like a backdoor to single payer?

On the other hand, it would give the glut of officers something to do.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 15:49

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

EPORW was RAISED

I was taught to lend a helping hand to those in need. I was also taught to treat people the way I want to be treated.

1
I was taught to lend a helping hand to those in need.

2
I was taught to lend a helping hand to those in need.

3
I was taught to lend a helping hand to those in need.

4
I was taught to lend a helping hand to those in need.

5
I was also taught to treat people the way I want to be treated.

6
I was also taught to treat people the way I want to be treated.

7
I was also taught to treat people the way I want to be treated.

8
I was also taught to treat people the way I want to be treated.

9
I was also taught to treat people the way I want to be treated.

10
I was taught to lend a helping hand to those in need. I was also taught to treat people the way I want to be treated.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 16:32

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

I swear I saw a couple macros referring to poor people as "Peasants" but I can't find them now

# ? Jan 30, 2016 16:32

Mo_Steel: Mar 7, 2008; Let's Clock Into The Sunset Together; Fun Shoe

Defenestration posted:

The vertical spacing on this is loving infuriating to me. Evenly space your lovely idiot opinions! :rant:

# ? Jan 30, 2016 16:36

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

I thought that said Dr. Obama.

Refreshing, effervescent Dr. Obama.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 16:45

Olanphonia: Jul 27, 2006; I'm open to suggestions~

Defenestration posted:

Why didn't Obama hold a seance like our hero, Reagan??

Defenestration posted:

10
I was taught to lend a helping hand to those in need. I was also taught to treat people the way I want to be treated.

Uhhh, why is the point about the White House even on there?

# ? Jan 30, 2016 16:49

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Defenestration posted:

6

How dare he WAVE towards a trans? (Obviously I assume he is not in fact waving towards Jenner)

# ? Jan 30, 2016 16:53

RagnarokAngel: Oct 5, 2006; Black Magic Extraordinaire

Olanphonia posted:

Uhhh, why is the point about the White House even on there?

The image was probably created during the government shut down where the white house was closed to visitors.

Probably implying "if we don't have the money to keep the white house open we don't have the money to feed illegals."

# ? Jan 30, 2016 16:56

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

WampaLord posted:

How dare he WAVE towards a trans? (Obviously I assume he is not in fact waving towards Jenner)

I think the implication is that Bill is a horndog who will even have sex with a gross trans person

RagnarokAngel posted:

The image was probably created during the government shut down where the white house was closed to visitors.

Probably implying "if we don't have the money to keep the white house open we don't have the money to feed illegals."

See also "obama shut down the government and kept WWII veterans from rolling their wheelchairs around in the WWII memorial. That's worse than Hitler.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 17:01

Twelve by Pies: May 4, 2012; Again a very likpatous story

Defenestration posted:

I was raised to love people for who they are.

*posts slew of anti-Muslim/gay/black/trans images*

# ? Jan 30, 2016 17:31

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

Twelve by Pies posted:

I was raised to love people for who they are.

*posts slew of anti-Muslim/gay/black/trans images*

There is a genre of EPORW posts that I'll call "minorities behaving badly." Basically the breathless headline is "Muslim man encounters nice white woman/veteran/child: what happens next will shock you!"

This is an especially good one

# ? Jan 30, 2016 17:42

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Defenestration posted:

DEFEN TOP TEN
EPORW weekend begins now!

whatever that is, it should probably be illegal

I want to see this thing shoot, because I'm having a hard time figuring out where the bullets are supposed to eject from. Or where the hammer is. Christ that thing looks like a piece of poo poo.

Edit:

Nathilus posted:

Me: "Goku was assassinated by the people he trusted."

Huh? Goku died once to Piccolo while fighting Raditz, and a second time by Cell self-destructing. When was he assassinated. :psyduck:

Who What Now fucked around with this message at 20:54 on Jan 30, 2016

# ? Jan 30, 2016 20:52

Mo_Steel: Mar 7, 2008; Let's Clock Into The Sunset Together; Fun Shoe

Defenestration posted:

There is a genre of EPORW posts that I'll call "minorities behaving badly." Basically the breathless headline is "Muslim man encounters nice white woman/veteran/child: what happens next will shock you!"

This is an especially good one

Well, what'd they see? Black folks?

# ? Jan 30, 2016 20:52

Puntification: Nov 4, 2009; Black Orthodontromancy
The most British Magic; Fun Shoe

Mo_Steel posted:

Well, what'd they see? Black folks?

That was my response so I went and looked. It claims some refugees in Germany were molesting girls, making GBS threads and jizzing in the pool and taking selfies while doing it.

It was basically a muslim-based aristocrats.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 20:58

I Greyhound: Apr 22, 2008; MusicKrew Dawn Patrol

Defenestration posted:

I was taught to lend a helping hand to those in need.

1) Start using a different and incorrect meaning for a word.
2) Rage hard when people use the word properly for things which are its literal and original definition.

Social Security is an entitlement because paying into it entitles you to use it. That's literally what an entitlement is.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 21:06

Willatron: Sep 22, 2009

I'm entitled to these things I've been paying into my entire adult life, but don't you DARE call it an entitlement!

# ? Jan 30, 2016 21:14

Klaus88: Jan 23, 2011; Violence has its own economy, therefore be thoughtful and precise in your investment

Defenestration posted:

EPORW was RAISED

I was taught to lend a helping hand to those in need. I was also taught to treat people the way I want to be treated.

Someone forgot to tack on "regardless of color or creed" for EPORW though. :laugh:

# ? Jan 30, 2016 21:18

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Who What Now posted:

Huh? Goku died once to Piccolo while fighting Raditz, and a second time by Cell self-destructing. When was he assassinated.

You're taking the joke too literally. It's a misquote from Ender's Game with goku swapped in for Caesar. It goes with anti-bullying solemn goku because he ultimately failed in his anti-bullying crusade.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 21:20

Arcteryx Anarchist: Sep 15, 2007; Fun Shoe

Defenestration posted:

See also "obama shut down the government and kept WWII veterans from rolling their wheelchairs around in the WWII memorial. That's worse than Hitler.

it may be the cynic in me but I almost feel like those vets showing up was a stunt too

the memorial is pretty dead in my experience, and October isnt a big military observance month

# ? Jan 30, 2016 22:03

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

lancemantis posted:

it may be the cynic in me but I almost feel like those vets showing up was a stunt too

the memorial is pretty dead in my experience, and October isnt a big military observance month

they have that Hero Airlift Flight whatever thing but yeah its disingenuous to bring them all the way there when you know the government is shut down. They've had since 2004 to see it.

It's also an extremely sterile memorial: a bunch of concrete plinths with state names and a vegas fountain. It would easily be the shittiest DC memorial if not for the MLK abomination. I mean, talk about making a memorial that perpetuates the exact opposite of what the person it celebrates stood for.

# ? Jan 30, 2016 22:30

seiferguy: Jun 9, 2005; FLAWED
INTUITION; Toilet Rascal

Chris Kyle is dead, of course he can't receive calls from the White House!

# ? Jan 31, 2016 01:32

Dr. Killjoy: Oct 9, 2012

Defenestration posted:

There is a genre of EPORW posts that I'll call "minorities behaving badly." Basically the breathless headline is "Muslim man encounters nice white woman/veteran/child: what happens next will shock you!"

This is an especially good one

Forget dog whistling, I think some guy just developed the inaudible tone that causes every dog within a city block to drop dead.

# ? Jan 31, 2016 01:53

Scholtz: Aug 24, 2007; Zorchin' some Flemoids

Defenestration posted:

# ? Jan 31, 2016 02:27

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

Found the Welfare Peasants. Lend a helping hand to those in need

# ? Jan 31, 2016 02:54

ToxicSlurpee: Nov 5, 2003; -=SEND HELP=-; Pillbug

Dr. Killjoy posted:

Forget dog whistling, I think some guy just developed the inaudible tone that causes every dog within a city block to drop dead.

They threw away the dog whistle and replaced it with the biggest, loudest fog horn they could find.

# ? Jan 31, 2016 02:59

19 o'clock: Sep 9, 2004; Excelsior!!!

Defenestration posted:

"Reality time is here" has got to be my favorite thing I've read all day.

# ? Jan 31, 2016 05:21

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Defenestration posted:

Found the Welfare Peasants. Lend a helping hand to those in need

HELLO I AM IN THE ROOM NOW!

# ? Jan 31, 2016 05:47

Astrofig: Oct 26, 2009

VitalSigns posted:

Is it really any kind of surprise that Shinra achieved the ultimate goals of everything capitalists have sought since basically the start of the industrial revolution?

Are you suggested we all become anti-government guerillas should the republitards somehow come back in power?

.....because that sounds awesome, not gonna lie. Dibs on the arm-mounted chaingun!

# ? Jan 31, 2016 05:57