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Considering I don't know how to make Unthrottle not bad, I agree with the negative sentiment towards whips. 
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Jan 26, 2016 18:24
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Spermy Smurf posted:Or carry a backup whip. Whips and scourges have a special tag that makes them suck at being wielded alongside anything else. 
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Jan 26, 2016 18:32
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my dad posted:Whips and scourges have a special tag that makes them suck at being wielded alongside anything else. A quiver full of whips, or some other carrying device. Then they can whip, drop it, grab a new one, and get right back to
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Jan 26, 2016 19:06
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If you have quiverfull fighters whipping in the Arena, something has already gone horribly wrong somewhere.
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Jan 26, 2016 19:45
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Actually, scourges are pretty good at mincing foes.
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Jan 27, 2016 02:24
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Goddamn, Goku is a loving glutton for punishment.
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Jan 27, 2016 02:32
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Zwingley posted:Considering I don't know how to make Unthrottle not bad, I agree with the negative sentiment towards whips. you've got a scourge, which is apparently better since unthrottle has managed to kill things
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Jan 27, 2016 04:30
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I kinda like how the weapons have tended to err on the side of realism. Spears are OP in reality, too!
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Jan 27, 2016 04:43
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Tiler Kiwi posted:you've got a scourge, which is apparently better since unthrottle has managed to kill things Swapped it out for a silver whip last round because copper wasn't cutting anyone anymore. Granted I haven't really had a chance to hit anything with the whip, considering how fast Unthrottle got lambasted last match.
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Jan 27, 2016 05:13
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you fooooooooooooool
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Jan 27, 2016 05:19
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yeah probably
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Jan 27, 2016 05:28
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A scourge can remove a limb... if it can beat armor.
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Jan 28, 2016 18:29
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Oh my god I hate this week. Next week should be better. Fight will be posted Monday I think!
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Jan 30, 2016 00:58
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*cracks a whip* *It's totally ineffective because whips are dumb and suck*
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Jan 30, 2016 01:05
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 Round 8, Fight 5  Go big and/or go home is on the left side of the arena. Snowshank Redemption (A good poster) is a male yeti. He wields a copper large dagger and wears an iron mail shirt, copper greaves, and copper gauntlets. Tyler Durden is Hobbes (Iunnrais) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears leather armor. 3 Wolf Moon Shirt (iLonie) is a male werewolf. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a leather cap, leather armor, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Slam Whale Willy (potatomanjack) is a male werewolf. He wields a silver mace and a wooden buckler and wears a leather cap, a copper mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Spooky Scary Skeletons is on the right side of the arena. Tash Al'rhyn (tithin) is a female werewolf. She wields a silver war hammer and a wooden shield and wears a copper mail shirt, a bronze mail shirt, and leather gauntlets. Three Gremlins in a Blender (AJ_Impy) is a male strangler. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears a copper cap, copper gauntlets, and copper low boots. Bad Munki (Coward) is a male kobold. He wields a steel bow and wears a leather cap. Candy Corn Tiger (Klokwurk) is a male tigerman. He wields an iron halberd and a wooden shield and wears a bronze helm and bronze gauntlets. Spooky Scary Skeletons is a 4.22 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 11539.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 2735.00 dwarfbucks for Go big and/or go home. Gotta be honest, I'm not entirely sure why so many dwarfbucks were thrown at Spooky Scary when Go Big hosed up the other archery team in such short order. Of course, I'm also not the highest in the betting, so let's see whose instincts are better.  Munki whiffs, somehow not generating a report as his shot fails to even approach the yeti, somehow. It overlapped the tile and everything. Somehow.  Candy Corn lags behind a bit. The battle lines come together, in a mess of werewolves and failures to hurt each other. Parries, misses, blocks... first damage is Tash managing a hammer to Snowshank's body, causing a bruise. Roused to anger, Snowshank tackles her with a charge. At the same time, Willy bludgeons Candy Corn about the head, breaking the skull.  This is one of the most scattered melees of the tournament.  Another arrow flies. It also fails to hit anyone, although Moon Shirt at least notices the arrow. It's up to Three Gremlins to do real damage for his team, as he breaks Moon Shirt's shin rather thoroughly, grounding the werewolf.  I have no idea why Snowshank is off by himself. Sometimes yetis just seem to do that. Willy catches Candy Corn off guard and breaks his shin, too. He also falls over.  Moon Shirt (the rightmost werewolf) has moved weirdly far across the arena. Another step or two, and he might shift his focus and attack Bad Munki. Especially if Three Gremlins goes down. And, wouldn't you know it, Willy catches the strangler across the chest and he's suddenly left gasping to catch a breath that won't come easily. Thus distracted, he also takes Snowshank's dagger to his arm. Three Gremlins ferociously attempts to reciprocate, but a bit of a scratch to the titan's foot isn't enough, and he's bowled over by the behemoth. Little guys can't take these distracting things like stuns or trouble breathing, or they collapse in a hurry in the face of a larger foe. This practical demonstration of such continues: Snowshank's dagger rips up the strangler's intestines. The other fights have so far been nowhere near as furious, but about here Hobbes grabs Tash by the throat. If he can capitalize on that, that would be a fast kill. Recognizing this, Tash pounds him in the neck with her hammer, but gets only a bruise for her trouble.  Bad Munki pulls another shot, but at the same time Moon Shirt finally manages to pull himself a space away, despite his broken leg, so the shot completely misses. We've still got time before it hits the far wall, though. First of all Snowshank gives Three Gremlins a pierced brain for our first kill. Hobbes finally gets the leverage he needs, and Tash is choked and punched into unconsciousness. And then the arrow disappears.  I was watching; it didn't go up a Z-level or down a Z-level or hit the floor. It just was sucked into an alternate dimension.Candy Corn finally re-enters our perception, attacking Snowshank with a halberd, but failing to break the yeti's iron mail. Then, for some reason, Hobbes lets go of Tash's throat instead of wringing it to death, and instead daintily grabs hold of a finger. I guess that one isn't going to end as soon as I thought it might. Back to Snowshank, who breaks Candy Corn's femur with a dagger slash. Out goes Candy Corn. Snowshank and Willy (and eventually Moon Shirt) savage the tiger's body. Heart, spine, pancreas, stomach, kidney, intestines, liver and lungs all are swiftly brutalized. Off to the far upper-left, Hobbes gradually breaking Tash's body; one arm is ruined by the tiger's leverage and ferocity, and it was her weapon arm.  Then, suddenly, Hobbes goes all "Fist of the North Star" and with one punch Tash is already dead; her head completely exploded. The middle melee is reaching its inevitable conclusion, as Candy Corn's remaining internal organs begin to spill out of his body cavity in a display of practical anatomy. He bleeds to death, courtesy Snowshank, right before another arrow reaches. Snowshank doesn't even have time for a moment of satisfaction before the arrow embeds in his leg and he collapses in agony. Well, too little, too late, but good shot, Munki. Willy is the closest fighter who still has both legs, so he rushes to Munki and begins the probably-final assault. Munki proves slippery, taking some damage but avoiding others, until he ends up right next to Moon Shirt. And he's had chance to ready his bow again. A zero-distance arrow goes straight through the werewolf's spine. It's another excellent shot, but now he's got two werewolves and a tigerman surrounding him. It's Willy that does the honors, crushing his head. Sure is a good thing Munk had that cap. Final Score Go big and/or go home: 4 Spooky Scary Skeletons: 0 Kills Snowshank Redemption: 2 Tyler Durden is Hobbes: 1 Slam Whale Willy: 1 Combat Log
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Jan 30, 2016 22:03
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Even knockoff Bads Munki retain the spirit of the original.
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Jan 30, 2016 22:34
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This is pretty much all the communist redistribution I could hope for.
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Jan 30, 2016 23:11
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There we go. That's the archery performance I am used to from previous tournaments with basically every shot bar one missing. I raised my Archery skill again, and this is beginning to make me again convinced that putting an Archery skill X points higher than Bow skill is more likely to cause misses. I just have to presume it's just bad luck, though, compared to accuracy in previous matches? Or were the mêlées over much more quickly this time so there were fewer shots taken?
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Jan 30, 2016 23:12
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I made a cool $4.22 off that last one.
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Jan 30, 2016 23:24
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I quintupled my money on that fight! LOOK OUT, EVERYONE
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Jan 31, 2016 00:06
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Man, we (Go Big) seem really hot and cold. Either we get our poo poo together and crush duders or we flail around uselessly. Glad this was one of the prior, and that Slam Whale Willy did some work and got himself another kill.
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Jan 31, 2016 01:16
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Yeah, that complete lack of collaboration paid off in spades.
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Jan 31, 2016 01:18
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To be fair it was 4v3. I think even Plump Helmets could win that way. I have zero idea who plump helmets are. I know they are a team and since seeing my team name is a surprise every time, I picked the only team name I knew I would get right. Tl;dr: I am a bad commish with the memory of a goldfish.
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Jan 31, 2016 01:43
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PotatoManJack posted:Man, we (Go Big) seem really hot and cold. Either we get our poo poo together and crush duders or we flail around uselessly. Yeah both Go Big and Skeletons are wild-card types.
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Jan 31, 2016 01:45
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jon joe posted:Yeah both Go Big and Skeletons are wild-card types. http://imgur.com/XacKUvw.gif
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Jan 31, 2016 01:47
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Spermy Smurf posted:To be fair it was 4v3. I think even Plump Helmets could win that way. The Plump Helmets are cool and good though.
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Jan 31, 2016 02:06
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Coward posted:There we go. That's the archery performance I am used to from previous tournaments with basically every shot bar one missing. Had time for five shots total.
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Jan 31, 2016 02:15
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Joining in on the betting a mere 2 fights ago with a measly sum of 1000 dorf bux, rookie Powerfrog already finds himself sitting in 6th position on the betting leaderboards. When asked for comment, the young entrepreneur quipped: "Go big, or go home."
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Jan 31, 2016 03:53
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Powerfrog posted:Joining in on the betting a mere 2 fights ago with a measly sum of 1000 dorf bux, rookie Powerfrog already finds himself sitting in 6th position on the betting leaderboards. My rise has been similarly meteoric, but you don't see me bragging about it. Instead, like most people, as I get richer I just gain more and more contempt for those less fortunate. It's a quiet and satisfying process.
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Jan 31, 2016 04:11
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Powerfrog posted:Joining in on the betting a mere 2 fights ago with a measly sum of 1000 dorf bux, rookie Powerfrog already finds himself sitting in 6th position on the betting leaderboards. Cathode Raymond posted:My rise has been similarly meteoric, but you don't see me bragging about it. Oh, you want me to let you guys up into the penthouse where the top 5 are? Sure follow me.  Psyche.
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Jan 31, 2016 04:26
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Ramc posted:Oh, you want me to let you guys up into the penthouse where the top 5 are? Sure follow me. Still want my gold crown 
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Jan 31, 2016 08:08
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Looks like my girl's not going to get ahead in life
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Jan 31, 2016 09:14
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Round 8, Fight 8  Subterranean Animists is on the left side of the arena. Braun Strowman (Frozen_Flame) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields a copper short sword, a copper short sword, and a copper short sword and wears an iron helm, a copper mail shirt, a copper mail shirt, iron leggings, and iron gauntlets. Baldwin (captaindirtnap) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, iron gauntlets, and steel low boots. Qwarf (C7ty1) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron breast plate, iron greaves, and iron gauntlets. Dusseldwarf (decoy badger) is a female dwarf. She wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears a copper mail shirt, a copper mail shirt, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots. Hell's Dentists is on the right side of the arena. Madmartigan (gbuchold) is a male molemarian. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears no armor. The Abominable Gladiator (Pickled Tink) is a female yeti. She is empty handed and wears a bronze cap, a copper mail shirt, a bronze mail shirt, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. In Like Flynn (grobbendonk) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears a copper helm, an iron mail shirt, a copper breast plate, copper greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Krog Bonesmasha (astus) is a male elf. He wields a copper war hammer and wears an iron helm, leather armor, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. Hell's Dentists is a 1.23 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 12046.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 9766.00 dwarfbucks for Subterranean Animists. Four (er, five) dwarfs in one fight. This is going to be hell on the screen shots.  Everyone is about the same pace today. Braun is our most eager contender, exchanging blows with Madmartigan then breaking the mole's leg. Baldwin and Dusseldwarf both attack Flynn for daring to come against an all-dwarf team. One leg is broken on him, too, then he loses his weapon hand to Dusseldwarf. Madmartigan almost loses a kidney to Braun, whose sword chops up some of the mole's torso. So far the Dentists are not doing so well. The only one who's dealt any actual damage to the Animists is Krog, who's bruised Qwarf twice. As if to put the lie to that, as soon as I advance time a single instant, Madmartigan takes out one of Braun's hands. Seconds later, Abominable grabs Baldwin by hand and throat... then releasing the latter. So close to a kill. Dusseldwarf is still on Flynn, though, and Flynn is incapacitated by pain. Qwarf and Dusseldwarf both attack Flynn, with Dusseldwarf taking the kill.  At least now it's easier to see who's who. The spearline stab out again; Madmartigan takes a spear to the arm and loses shield. On the other hand, Abominable has pulled off that gauntlet she grabbed, and slaps Braun with it, smashing dwarven chitin. Madmartigan stabs Baldwin in the leg, and Baldwin removes the mole's ear in return.  Incidentally, Flynn's hand has bounced off the arena ceiling, four Z-levels up; it'll eventually fall back down, precisely in his starting position. Back to Madmartigan, who is aiming to win this himself. He ruins one of Braun's feet, as well. He's surrounded, though; a spear takes one of his rear legs, and the mole teeters and falls to the ground. Braun is of good, solid  The Animist battle-line still stands shoulder-to-shoulder, save for Braun who can't actually stand. Also, Abominable is trying to beat her up, and punches an eye into goo.  Eventually, the remaining Dentists join up, and keep at the separated Braun, who has been rolling away from attacks she can't deflect. Eventually, though, Abominable catches her, and she loses another hand, her weapon hand, and the pain is too great. Another punch inflicts fatal brain damage even through her helmet. Meanwhile, Krog has demonstrated the value of iron armor against iron spears.  It turns out this is 'quite a lot'. Abominable is not so impervious, though. She takes an injured foot and falls over. Another stab to the ribcage, and she's out, too, then slain. Kudos to Dusseldwarf for this feat. That leaves only the elf, but so far the elf has withstood the best of dwarven spears, and his hammer has dealt some notable, if not crippling, blows. Perhaps he's going to turn this around himself? As soon as I type that, I advance one instant and Dusseldwarf has broken the elf's rib cage with a thrust and the elf is down, too. I guess there was a little weakness in that armor. Qwarf takes this kill. Final Score Subterranean Animists: 4 Hell's Dentists: 1 Kills The Abominable Gladiator: 1 Baldwin: 1 Qwarf: 1 Dusseldwarf: 2 Combat Log ZeeToo fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Feb 1, 2016 |
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Jan 31, 2016 23:08
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*cough* use the preview post option sometimes *cough*
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Jan 31, 2016 23:15
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Sadly, it looks like the other team finally figured out that Krog only had iron armor on his limbs and head.
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Jan 31, 2016 23:34
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*SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* IT BURNS. I AM A MONEY LICH AND MY MONEY IS BEING STOLEN.
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Feb 1, 2016 00:12
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Goatface I need some way to contact you.
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Feb 1, 2016 00:19
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Hello.
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Feb 1, 2016 01:05
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my dad posted:*cough* use the preview post option sometimes *cough* In my defense, I catch almost all of those tags before I post!
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Feb 1, 2016 01:29
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goatface posted:Hello. Hi. I will be your new teammate shortly and I need a way to speak to your privately, to relay our Lightly Whipped Secret Battle Plan for the purpose of defeating Hell's Dentists next round and, preferably, winning every round thereafter.
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Feb 1, 2016 01:35
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