Vincent Van Goat posted:

Aleph Null posted:

Hormone-fueled employees having sex in gross rear end fast food restaurants absolutely happens.

Vincent Van Goat posted:

Big Grunty Secret posted:

My biggest issue is that this person's mom prepaid for her Taco Bell burrito.

Samizdata posted:

I also don't wear sunglasses, as I am nearsighted as hell and too poor for prescription shades. Also, the clip on options suck, and I refuse to wear old person visors.

uptown posted:

The SEX couldn't have been good at all if this girl was getting hosed from behind AND making a burrito.

goose fleet posted:

Where do you think the burrito came from

quote:

This troper did this with Buffy. She actually watched Angel in sydication on TNT, taping it because it was on at 4 and 5 A.M. and by the time she got to I Will Remember You I was so hooked I cried when the VCR didn't work and almost went into a coma when it broke and I missed half of season 4. I got the Buffy DVDs on the strength of Angel, having never seen a solitary episode of Buffy, and literally watched all 144 episodes in about three weeks. (It would've been faster, but I had to go to school, dammit.) I stayed up a whole entire night and watched almost all of season 2, then did the same with season six. When I got the Angel dvds, I did the same thing, except much faster because it was the summer. And I have done this with every singel Star Trek Series, and Babylon 5. My mom asks me why I want to watch it all so fast, and my answer is: A good show (or book series) is like a really delicious meal: you want it to last so you can savor it, but at the same time you want to eat it as fast as you can so you can find what the last bite tastes like. I have a list of shows I want to get pretty much solely for the purpose of doing this: these include Supernatural (I only learned about it and got into it halfway through season 3, so I totally want to get the first two,) Alias (I had just got into it on TNT when they stopped showing it,) and Torchwood (just got the BBC America, so I've never actually seen it but I really want to). I've also done this with book series: whenever I read A Song Of Ice And Fire (which I have way more than is healthy) I read it straigh through, and being an exceptionally fast reader, I can do this with Harry Potter in about two weeks (assuming I don't read nonstop, of course.) Some books are so good you wish you could do this, but alas, it is a relatively new series, so there aren't that many- the beyond awesome House Of Night novels come to mind. I've also done literal Archive Overdosing on Go Fug Yourself (a hilarious website that rips bad celebrity outfits with great wit) and Dressaday.com (a generally awesome blog about, well dresses as well as this very website.

quote:

This troper considers the Archive Binge a sacred activity and test, required before regularly following a webcomic. So far, he has binged: XKCD, Dueling Analougs, 8 Bit Theatre, DMFA, Cyanide and Happyness, Starslip Crisis, Chainsawsuit, F Chords, Daisy Owl, CVRPG, Ctrl Alt Del, Nerf Now, Awkward Zombie, Lackadaisy, 2P Start, Sluggy Freelance (and my gods it took a while), Suicide For Hire, Fanboys, Slackerz, Looking For Group, Horribleville, The Adventures of Dr. Mc Ninja, VG Cats, Freefall, and Dracula, along with 1/0, The last days of Foxhound, The DM of The Rings, as well as every single issue of the Dragonball manga, as well and the anime from the original series all the way to the craptacular GT, not to mention all the movies, the Deltora Quest series, Redwall, Diskworld, Dragonlance, Assasins Apprentance, plays the Zelda and Mario series sequentially every time there's a new game, not to mention the Starfox series, and there's probably more that I can't think of off the top of my head. I've also started binging several webcomics, only to stop due to unacceptable levels of suck. And I am looking for MORE. God have mercy. (I think I win.)

quote:

This troper was limited to reading mangas whenever they showed up at Borders. Thus, when I discovered One-Manga, an entire summer was lost - about a month and a half alone was devoted to discovering One Piece, the rest to catching up with Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist, and Inu Yasha. Then, I discovered MST 3 K episodes on You Tube... and later still I discovered this site, and through this site I discovered Girl Genius and Rice Boy....
Non-comic-based archive binging: this site, Encyclopedia Dramatica, various picture/story threads from Something Awful

YeahTubaMike posted:

You can buy them at Zenni Optical for like $15 a pop if you don't mind that they come out a little lighter than normal shades.

Samizdata posted:

I will check that option out. Cheers for the tip!

SEX BURRITO posted:

Mods, name change to SEX BURRITO please.

SEX BURRITO posted:

Mods, name change to SEX BURRITO please.

SEX BURRITO posted:

Mods, name change to SEX BURRITO please.

goose fleet posted:

Crowning Moment of Heartworming

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

What is wrong with that person.

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Wow, that person's parents straight up hate them. Or it didn't happen.

Khazar-khum posted:

Your optomitrist can convert your old glasses into sunglasses for very little money.

r/atheism posted:

My family used to run a bicycle shop that also sold skateboards. One christmas, a grandmother gave her daughter money to pick out a skateboard that her grandson would like. His mom picked out a solid black skateboard that had a white skull on the bottom. It was just a regular skull, nothing 'demonic'.
The week after christmas, the grandmother dragged her daughter and grandson in to exchange the board because it was 'satanic' and purchased with her money and she wasn't going to have any of that! - she scolded her daughter for picking out such an un-holy design and I could tell the kid liked it and that he and his mom really couldn't believe grandma was acting like such a sanctimonious bitch.
I told her it could only be exchanged if it were still in good shape or if there was a defect that the factory would replace, but he'd already ridden it enough to make it un-exchangeable. Nothing was 'wrong' with it, but it was already scuffed/scratched up enough that I couldn't return it to the company or resell it.
I asked her what was wrong with it (as if I hadn't already heard her bitching about the skull) and she almost bit my head off and screamed "IT HAS A DEMONIC SKULL ON IT!" I asked "What's demonic about it?" - she screamed "IT'S A SKULL!!" - Then, to the delight of her daughter and grandson, I screamed back at her "SO WHAT?! WE ALL HAVE SKULLS INSIDE OUR HEADS!"
Grandma walked out in a huff and told her daughter and grandson to "find their own way home!", so I closed the shop and drove them home before grandma got there, just to spite the hateful bitch. I gave him some free risers and bearings and a sheet of grip-tape that was covered in little skulls. They were faithful customers for years after that (the mom and kid, NOT the grandma - I'm sure she died from being a bitter old bitch not too long after that)

quote:

Then, to the delight of her daughter and grandson, I screamed back at her "SO WHAT?! WE ALL HAVE SKULLS INSIDE OUR HEADS!"

Jay Rust posted:

quote:

Mary was a young girl.She lived a life of partying, doing drugs, and sleeping with both men and women. one day she found out she was pregnant so she did what many young girls do: drive immediately to the abortion clinic to get it out of her as soon as possible. On the way there she was looking at hear hands on the steering wheel and remember how small her hands used to be, she thought how precious her life has been, that she had been given this great gift of life. she turned her car around.

in a few days God came to her and told her he loved her and ALL his children, but he is saddened when his children live in sin. Mary listened as God spoke. It is those of us that follow GOD that are live happy, fulfilling, and peaceful lives. Oh, and a MERRY christmas.

Mary thought about God’s words every day. She stopped stopped doing drugs, stopped sinning through homosexuality, and began a successful career.. She is now married to a wonderful man and they are expecting their first child.

God’s words came to Mary and they come to you, but only if you listen!

Amen!

goose fleet posted:

Crowning Moment of Heartworming

J Miracle posted:

So what happened to the first pregnancy, is that the same pregnancy at the end, and does that mean she married a dude that she lived in sin in a drug pit with

Nckdictator posted:

19th Century stdh

Dogfish posted:

If you like that one, I've got a whole bunch of stdh you're going to love!

Vincent Van Goat posted:

nerd plus rage posted:

Tried to to my best impression of the voice I read this to myself in.