a victory for liberty over tyranny

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > a victory for liberty over tyranny

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

I hope they can get Jorge Garcia to play Sean in the movie adaptation. I want to see Hurley screaming at people to kill federal agents.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 04:13

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# ? May 10, 2024 17:00

Wendigee: Jul 19, 2004

Krinkle posted:

Man I'm real messed up lately don't tell me how to kill myself with my own underwear. Goddamn. This is my whole day now.

Are they always barefoot though? I can't sleep if I'm barefoot. Do they get really stiff booties made of the same material at least? How could you kill yourself with a bootie?

# ? Feb 15, 2016 04:17

Young Freud: Nov 26, 2006

tardwrangler posted:

Belongs in the Dune thread.

I was about to crosspost this to the Star Citizen thread because of the Fourth Stimpire of pain and torture stuff coming out there.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 04:28

RoyKeen: Jul 24, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Krinkle posted:

Man I'm real messed up lately don't tell me how to kill myself with my own underwear. Goddamn. This is my whole day now.

Are they always barefoot though? I can't sleep if I'm barefoot. Do they get really stiff booties made of the same material at least? How could you kill yourself with a bootie?

I'm the opposite. I can't sleep with anything on my feet.
That said it's good to know about the underwear. I mean I hope I have better means when it comes the time but it's something to remember. Last time I tried to hang myself I just had a weird dog leash. Needless to say it didn't work. Certainly not within seconds.

Those smocks don't look comfortable though.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 04:31

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

In court you'll have paper shoes, crocs, or hard sandals, since you're less likely to make a move.

In your cell, no shoes of any kind. Literally just the smock and blanket. If you thrash or try to bite or otherwise hurt yourself, you get upgraded to the soft restraint gurney.

I had to transfer a lot of these people. One guy tried to chew out the veins in his wrist. I got to transport him to a state hospital after he spent a month in our hospital for sepsis. The human mouth is so horrifyingly disgusting you can kill yourself with your own bite.

Which is something fun no one ever talks about. We're practically Komodo Dragons. We can kill our enemies/prey with lethal bites even though we're not venomous.

Anyways, there's always someone to talk to.

1 (800) 273-8255

When I tried to kill myself with pills the EMS dudes were really cool so thanks EMS dude. I was just like "ugh sorry you guys had to come out this is really dumb and I'm probably wasting your time and keeping you from doing more important stuff" and they were just "naw man it's cool" and told stories of the significantly more uncooperative suicide attempts they've dealt with

# ? Feb 15, 2016 04:36

Shame Boy: Mar 2, 2010

The Ape of Naples posted:

I'm the opposite. I can't sleep with anything on my feet.
That said it's good to know about the underwear. I mean I hope I have better means when it comes the time but it's something to remember. Last time I tried to hang myself I just had a weird dog leash. Needless to say it didn't work. Certainly not within seconds.

Those smocks don't look comfortable though.

PYF suicide method

# ? Feb 15, 2016 04:37

RoyKeen: Jul 24, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Parallel Paraplegic posted:

PYF suicide method

I would rock that thread. It's the only thing I'm really knowledgable on.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 04:41

Day Man: Jul 30, 2007; Champion of the Sun!

Master of karate and friendship...
for everyone!

Parallel Paraplegic posted:

PYF suicide method

Take a 50 foot chain, attach it around a light pole. Hook up a loop of razor wire to the other end and put it around your neck. Get in your car. Put car in drive, then rub super glue all over your hands and grab the sides of your head.

Hit the gas.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 04:46

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

Parallel Paraplegic posted:

PYF suicide method

Crossdrawing on a police officer who has you dead to rights.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 05:13

Loden Taylor: Aug 11, 2003

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

Anyways, there's always someone to talk to.

1 (800) 273-8255

is this what I call for the free crocs and rad blue oven mit robe?

also is it a free giveaway or do I need to be caller number 10

# ? Feb 15, 2016 05:24

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Wouldn't the crocs be prohibited by the 8th amendment?

# ? Feb 15, 2016 05:29

mcvey: Aug 31, 2006; go caps haha

*Washington Capitals #1 Fan On DeviantArt*

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

Crossdrawing on a police officer who has you dead to rights.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 05:43

mostlytigerproof: Jul 12, 2015

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

See you could wear your pants without a belt because you're an OG, because that's how prisoners wear them, because belts are a suicide risk. But a real OG, a real OG would take it to the logical conclusion.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 06:02

TacticalUrbanHomo: Aug 17, 2011; by Lowtax

Krinkle posted:

Man I'm real messed up lately don't tell me how to kill myself with my own underwear. Goddamn. This is my whole day now.

Are they always barefoot though? I can't sleep if I'm barefoot. Do they get really stiff booties made of the same material at least? How could you kill yourself with a bootie?

A) If you kill yourself, please use your own underwear. Nobody thinks twice about prisoners doing it because they do so out of desperation since more obvious implements are taken from them, but if you, a regular member of the general population kills himself and chooses to use his own underwear, that will be a death as befitting a goon as any death could be.

B) Don't wear socks to bed it's bad for your feet.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 06:14

TacticalUrbanHomo: Aug 17, 2011; by Lowtax

Parallel Paraplegic posted:

PYF suicide method

Envelope paste toxicity.

Ba-duh-ba-ding-da-ding-bow-da-ding-da-ding-bow-da

# ? Feb 15, 2016 06:16

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Man those smocks must be a bitch to wash

# ? Feb 15, 2016 06:54

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

Alan Smithee posted:

Man those smocks must be a bitch to wash

Maybe, but it looks like the washers some prisons use are pretty drat big.

Convicts and guard for scale.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 06:59

A Festivus Miracle: Dec 19, 2012; I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

Alan Smithee posted:

Man those smocks must be a bitch to wash

They're also made out of really stiff material that doesn't bend easily. My guess is that they just hose 'em down after each use. I used to work for a business that made window shades whose big selling point was that you couldn't kill yourself with them, and they are made out of roughly the same material as the smocks.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 07:00

Cowman: Feb 14, 2006; Beware the Cow

I didn't realize there was such a market for anti-suicide stuff :stare:

# ? Feb 15, 2016 07:10

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Can you really just hose out ball sweat though

# ? Feb 15, 2016 07:12

TacticalUrbanHomo: Aug 17, 2011; by Lowtax

Cowman posted:

I didn't realize there was such a market for anti-suicide stuff

I suspect that most prisoners aren't legitimately suicidal but once they're locked in a tiny cell self-injury becomes one of the only means of defiance available

# ? Feb 15, 2016 07:35

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

If a prisoner commits suicide then the county has to arrest somebody else to fulfill the contract with the prison to keep beds filled

# ? Feb 15, 2016 07:37

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

Parallel Paraplegic posted:

PYF suicide method

Nitrogen asphyxiation.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 07:52

VectorSigma: Jan 20, 2004; Transform
and
Freak Out

i heard that if your cellmate dies you get out early

# ? Feb 15, 2016 07:59

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Otisburg posted:

Nitrogen asphyxiation.

Holy poo poo son, don't use nitrogen, it'll hurt like hell.

Want you want is inert gas asphyxiation with helium, methane, neon or similar. Unconscious in seconds and totally painless, no suffering at all.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 08:32

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

If you're not a sovcit please don't kill yourself, people.

If you ARE a sovcit then please do so with alacrity.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 08:45

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

Gorilla Salad posted:

Holy poo poo son, don't use nitrogen, it'll hurt like hell.

Want you want is inert gas asphyxiation with helium, methane, neon or similar. Unconscious in seconds and totally painless, no suffering at all.

This 79% nitrogen I breathe all the time is incredibly painful.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 10:27

TacticalUrbanHomo: Aug 17, 2011; by Lowtax

XK posted:

This 79% nitrogen I breathe all the time is incredibly painful.

nitrogen itself doesn't hurt, but nitrogen asphyxiation does. with nitrogen asphyxiation, the concentration of nitrogen in the air around you rises and, as oxygen is displaced or respired, you asphyxiate. it's not like asphyxiation by carbon monoxide poisoning, which causes you to gradually pass out, because as you have pointed out you breathe in nitrogen all the time and it has no particular effects.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 11:23

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

If nothing else, my :10bux:

has saved me from making the wrong inert gas choice for my inevitable suicide.

Thanks. :unsmith:

# ? Feb 15, 2016 11:27

TacticalUrbanHomo: Aug 17, 2011; by Lowtax

I don't even know where you would get pure nitrogen. Just shut yourself in the garage and run your car's engine for awhile.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 11:28

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

TacticalUrbanHomo posted:

nitrogen itself doesn't hurt, but nitrogen asphyxiation does. with nitrogen asphyxiation, the concentration of nitrogen in the air around you rises and, as oxygen is displaced or respired, you asphyxiate. it's not like asphyxiation by carbon monoxide poisoning, which causes you to gradually pass out, because as you have pointed out you breathe in nitrogen all the time and it has no particular effects.

Breathing pure nitrogen would be unnoticeable. You'd just pass out and die. Your body is not aware of your oxygen level, it is only aware of its carbon dioxide level. As long as you can breathe out the carbon dioxide you'll never know anything is happening.

Carbon dioxide asphyxiation is absolutely horrendous as it triggers a pure panic response in the prehistoric lizard part of our brain, so that we would be willing to tear ourselves to shreds in order to escape if, for instance, we ever got our heads stuck in something.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 11:35

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; It's how her species communicates

I use my garage as a home gym so there's no room for my car. When I decided to do that one of the selling points was if I get depressed I won't have room to off myself painlessly in my garage.

How are people so sure it's easy? I'm betting your body starts flipping the gently caress out once your heart stops.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 11:37

TacticalUrbanHomo: Aug 17, 2011; by Lowtax

XK posted:

Breathing pure nitrogen would be unnoticeable. You'd just pass out and die. Your body is not aware of your oxygen level, it is only aware of its carbon dioxide level. As long as you can breathe out the carbon dioxide you'll never know anything is happening.

Carbon dioxide asphyxiation is absolutely horrendous as it triggers a pure panic response in the prehistoric lizard part of our brain, so that we would be willing to tear ourselves to shreds in order to escape if, for instance, we ever got our heads stuck in something.

Oh. Okay, then. :frogbon:

# ? Feb 15, 2016 11:38

XMNN: Apr 26, 2008; I am incredibly stupid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiEJKvbpOF0

# ? Feb 15, 2016 11:42

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

I was doing some research at work one time, trying to figure out what those hoods that go on conduits leaving buildings are called. So I googled "building exit hood". Turns out an exit hood is a modified cooking bag you cinch down on your head when you want to off yourself. So that's in my search history now.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 11:42

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

XK posted:

Breathing pure nitrogen would be unnoticeable. You'd just pass out and die. Your body is not aware of your oxygen level, it is only aware of its carbon dioxide level. As long as you can breathe out the carbon dioxide you'll never know anything is happening.

Carbon dioxide asphyxiation is absolutely horrendous as it triggers a pure panic response in the prehistoric lizard part of our brain, so that we would be willing to tear ourselves to shreds in order to escape if, for instance, we ever got our heads stuck in something.

Yes this is actually correct. Stupid me mixed up nitrogen asphyxiation and CO2 asphyxiation.

My bad.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 11:53

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

Grem posted:

I use my garage as a home gym so there's no room for my car. When I decided to do that one of the selling points was if I get depressed I won't have room to off myself painlessly in my garage.

How are people so sure it's easy? I'm betting your body starts flipping the gently caress out once your heart stops.

Your body may or may not spasm, you'd be unconscious by that point anyway.

It should be much like this, go to 36:30:
https://vimeo.com/83750163

edit: It's what XMNN posted, but his video seems to be blocked, in the US at least.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 11:54