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Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Beet Wagon posted:

All of that comes together to hint at what I think is probably the most impressive aspect of the Stimpire. At least 7 billion people die every 12 hours, according to the original writeup. The reproduction rate of citizens in the Stimpire has to be loving prodigious to support that. Stimperial Citizens must be constantly loving all the time, and they must have some kind of shortened gestation period.


Someone needs to do a timeline of the rise of the Fourth Stimpire. I enjoy that we've fleshed this out so much more than the original lunatic that wrote it.

Main question I have is if banks are open and mail gets delivered on July 14th?

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Galarox
Sep 23, 2015

Fun Shoe
There haven't been any cattes for a while, so here's mine.



She used to have all black whiskers, then about 3 years ago (when she was about 8 years old) she suddenly grew 1 white whisker, then another then another until she had replaced all her whiskers from black to white. Cat's have their reasons.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Colostomy Bag posted:

Main question I have is if banks are open and mail gets delivered on July 14th?

That's a good question. Is the July 14th birthday just arbitrary or is it a Stimperial holiday?

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos

Galarox posted:

There haven't been any cattes for a while, so here's mine.



She used to have all black whiskers, then about 3 years ago (when she was about 8 years old) she suddenly grew 1 white whisker, then another then another until she had replaced all her whiskers from black to white. Cat's have their reasons.

Look at that cat

Ash1138
Sep 29, 2001

Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

Booblord Zagats posted:

Star Citizen is kinda like a small town Denny's.

For the most part it's filled with rubes who think that it's "nice" and they're getting a good deal. It's ran by people who have no actual experience running a real restaurant and the day shift manager is a hilariously obese sycophant whose only marketable skill is praising the franchise owner non-stop.

Anyone with anything even resembling worldly experience will immediately recognize it as such, but if you go to the gas station up the road and try to explain to them why it's bad, they'll most likely try to lynch you
they also discriminate against black people

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos
Is that cat doing woodwork?

Inverness
Feb 4, 2009

Fully configurable personal assistant.

Galarox posted:

There haven't been any cattes for a while, so here's mine.



She used to have all black whiskers, then about 3 years ago (when she was about 8 years old) she suddenly grew 1 white whisker, then another then another until she had replaced all her whiskers from black to white. Cat's have their reasons.
What a distinguished cat.

runsamok
Jan 12, 2011

Galarox posted:

There haven't been any cattes for a while, so here's mine.



She used to have all black whiskers, then about 3 years ago (when she was about 8 years old) she suddenly grew 1 white whisker, then another then another until she had replaced all her whiskers from black to white. Cat's have their reasons.

That's a nice loving kitty you got there.

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo

Hav posted:

Ba-dum *tsch*


More 'seriously', Cloning, obviously.

I think they're grown in stinking vats starfish style from amputated extremities.

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo

Gilganixon posted:

they were deplaneted

stimpires aren't chronological, there are just ten of them. or at least there were

gosh read a book already (about the stimpire)

No you see the other stimpires "swore freedom upon" their citizens. There were ten Stimpires total, in the Star zone called Stimsis.

or something like that, no way I'm gonna "fact-check" lol

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Gilganixon posted:

warning: no 4th Stimpire EU is legitimate, if it's not in the original source then it's an imitation stimpire, possibly the 7th or 8th ones

I Can't Believe It's Not Stimpire!

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo

Galarox posted:

There haven't been any cattes for a while, so here's mine.



She used to have all black whiskers, then about 3 years ago (when she was about 8 years old) she suddenly grew 1 white whisker, then another then another until she had replaced all her whiskers from black to white. Cat's have their reasons.

so you're saying Star Citizen's given her white hair

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

The BBC's noticed it's a bit behind schedule -

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-35555086

(nothing too exciting yet, tho)

Also, lol at '"Most of our customers aren't like that. They say: 'Take the time you need. If you need 10 years for a really great space game don't rush it out and make a bad one.'"' :laugh:

Edit: ugh this thread moves way too fast

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Beet Wagon posted:

That's a good question. Is the July 14th birthday just arbitrary or is it a Stimperial holiday?

Given the importance of the day and all it ent(r)ails, I think it is safe to assume it is a Stimperial holiday.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Beet Wagon posted:

I don't think I have an in game toolkit. I'll just work an extra shift down at the plant to cover the cost of one, and then I'll be on the high-speed express to relaxation town!

Or you could just pick up a parttime job as a bartender...

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Beet Wagon posted:

All of that comes together to hint at what I think is probably the most impressive aspect of the Stimpire. At least 7 billion people die every 12 hours, according to the original writeup. The reproduction rate of citizens in the Stimpire has to be loving prodigious to support that. Stimperial Citizens must be constantly loving all the time, and they must have some kind of shortened gestation period.

Dunno. Executions kinda put the kibosh on sexyfuntimes in my book. Maybe paincloning or painexowombs?

Mirificus
Oct 29, 2004

Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6369222/#Comment_6369222

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Booblord Zagats posted:

Star Citizen is kinda like a small town Denny's.

For the most part it's filled with rubes who think that it's "nice" and they're getting a good deal. It's ran by people who have no actual experience running a real restaurant and the day shift manager is a hilariously obese sycophant whose only marketable skill is praising the franchise owner non-stop.

Anyone with anything even resembling worldly experience will immediately recognize it as such, but if you go to the gas station up the road and try to explain to them why it's bad, they'll most likely try to lynch you

Well said.

ZenMaster
Jan 24, 2006

I Saved PC Gaming

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

I remain convinced that SC is successful because Chris Roberts has successfully found a group of people who can't tell the difference between something that is promised and something that is delivered.

It's the people that say the game is out that just make me die inside. Those people ugh... that Derek Smart and Me video has the author and Derek arguing about the game in the comments and the author of the video literally say the game is out, all it needs is more content/a light coat of paint.

Uh-huh... there is such a level of desperation they will say a pre alpha bug fest is the promised game. That is where my sympathies die: a pock marked, burnt barb wire strewn battlefield littered with the corpses of promises and concept art.

Brazilianpeanutwar
Aug 27, 2015

Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?
Goddamn retards

Only registered members can see post attachments!

fuzzknot
Mar 23, 2009

Yip yip yip yip yip

Booblord Zagats posted:

Star Citizen is kinda like a small town Denny's.

For the most part it's filled with rubes who think that it's "nice" and they're getting a good deal. It's ran by people who have no actual experience running a real restaurant and the day shift manager is a hilariously obese sycophant whose only marketable skill is praising the franchise owner non-stop.

Anyone with anything even resembling worldly experience will immediately recognize it as such, but if you go to the gas station up the road and try to explain to them why it's bad, they'll most likely try to lynch you

This is accurate. My late grandfather lived about 40 miles north of Houston, and the only dining options were Applebee's, McDonald's, and a local Tex Mex place. Most people for some ungodly reason seemed to prefer Applebee's, and its walls were a shrine to the local high school football team.

Being from Houston proper, I REALLY noticed how terrible it was. There was no use in pointing out that if you wanted to do something fun, all you had to do was drive half an hour to an hour to find good restaurants, the theatre district, the museum district, the zoo, the beach, etc. They just drew in and focused on the local high school football team. It gave me the creeps, honestly.

Ash1138 posted:

they also discriminate against black people

That was the other creepy part. I don't think I ever saw a non-white person anywhere around that small town. My grandfather was fairly racist as well. Not to lynch mob levels, but inappropriate comments. I remember telling him once that I missed the big pine trees in Houston, and he said "Well Austin does have some nice trees, but they're all black." I thought he literally meant the trees were black until he clarified that he meant black neighborhoods. It was offensive as well as inaccurate.

fuzzknot
Mar 23, 2009

Yip yip yip yip yip

Galarox posted:

There haven't been any cattes for a while, so here's mine.



She used to have all black whiskers, then about 3 years ago (when she was about 8 years old) she suddenly grew 1 white whisker, then another then another until she had replaced all her whiskers from black to white. Cat's have their reasons.

That is a good cat.

My Bolie had two white whiskers, one over each eye, when he was a kitten. They looked like antennae. They're kind of hard to see in photos.



They either fell out or changed color when he grew up.

No Mods No Masters
Oct 3, 2004


When it comes down to it the number of hours of squadron 42 episode 1 is for you to decide. You're the one who closes the game. And if you close it before the 80 hour mark, you betrayed chris crobert's Vision, and that's on you :colbert:

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos

Downloading a 30gb patch every time is just CIG staying true to their promise of making a game so cutting edge it uses a decade old engine and mostly looks like complete poo poo

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Samizdata posted:

Dunno. Executions kinda put the kibosh on sexyfuntimes in my book. Maybe paincloning or painexowombs?

Well yeah but you're looking at it from an outside perspective. Maybe executions are their thing. It's a different culture, and as Sandi or any other qualified anthropologist will tell you, in the study of a different culture objectivity is important.

Wrecked Angle
May 12, 2012

"JURASSIC PARK!"
RE: Buggygate


These people literally haven't played a computer game in the last 20 years have they?

I can just imagine this 45 year old neckbeard firing up the hangar module, then turning to his ageing mother who he's lived with his whole life and saying "Look Ma! It's just like I'm driving a real buggy! All 3D, look at the furdelity".

biglads
Feb 21, 2007

I could've gone to Blatherwycke



My parents went on vacation to the Stimpire and all I got was this lousy fistula.

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo

Beet Wagon posted:

Well yeah but you're looking at it from an outside perspective. Maybe executions are their thing. It's a different culture, and as Sandi or any other qualified anthropologist will tell you, in the study of a different culture objectivity is important.

They're just playing the BDSME

Scruffpuff
Dec 23, 2015

Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

Beet Wagon posted:

Well yeah but you're looking at it from an outside perspective. Maybe executions are their thing. It's a different culture, and as Sandi or any other qualified anthropologist will tell you, in the study of a different culture objectivity is important.

Despite her expertise in all things, I don't think Sandi would do too well in the Stimpire. They tend to frown upon blinking.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

They're just playing the BDSME

:golfclap:

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Beet Wagon posted:

Well yeah but you're looking at it from an outside perspective. Maybe executions are their thing. It's a different culture, and as Sandi or any other qualified anthropologist will tell you, in the study of a different culture objectivity is important.

We're talking Stimperial Shitizens, not fish.

Mirificus
Oct 29, 2004

Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6364981/#Comment_6364981

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tInDH2FeXaM

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Samizdata posted:

We're talking Stimperial Shitizens, not fish.

Are you telling me you don't believe Sandi is a qualified anthropologist as well as being a marine biologist, actress, and best saleswoman in the world and has been ever since she was a little girl?

Why you little... just wait till she gets pictures of all her degrees off the internet out of storage, she'll show you!

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Beet Wagon posted:

Well yeah but you're looking at it from an outside perspective. Maybe executions are their thing. It's a different culture, and as Sandi or any other qualified anthropologist will tell you, in the study of a different culture objectivity is important.

I think at this point, we need to look into establishing a select few individuals to preside over contributions to the Stimpire in order to validate them in the spirit of the original canon. Granted, the original lore and work laid out before us is in most regards is beyond reproach. But like most great documents in our past, there are several areas that are open to interpretation. And, as we know, interpretation and speculation is not for the faint of heart in the Stimpire.

This would ensure the founding father's intent is not trampled upon. And more importantly, deliver the vetted lore our future generations deserve.

Ash1138
Sep 29, 2001

Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

oh he'll get a chris roberts experience all right

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

Can't you guys just wait for the invigilation teams to return with the sickening and heartbreaking truths of the Fourth Stimpire?

fuzzknot
Mar 23, 2009

Yip yip yip yip yip

Scruffpuff posted:

Despite her expertise in all things, I don't think Sandi would do too well in the Stimpire. They tend to frown upon blinking.



Coincidentally, that image is a fairly accurate reflection of my face reading this thread.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Colostomy Bag posted:

I think at this point, we need to look into establishing a select few individuals to preside over contributions to the Stimpire in order to validate them in the spirit of the original canon. Granted, the original lore and work laid out before us is in most regards is beyond reproach. But like most great documents in our past, there are several areas that are open to interpretation. And, as we know, interpretation and speculation is not for the faint of heart in the Stimpire.

This would ensure the founding father's intent is not trampled upon. And more importantly, deliver the vetted lore our future generations deserve.

Sort of a Stimperial Council of the Keepers of the Flame, huh? I can dig it. Need to make a gangtag for "Professor of Stimperial Studies" haha

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EminusSleepus
Sep 28, 2015

Beet Wagon posted:

Are you telling me you don't believe Sandi is a qualified anthropologist as well as being a marine biologist, actress, and best saleswoman in the world and has been ever since she was a little girl?

Why you little... just wait till she gets pictures of all her degrees off the internet out of storage, she'll show you!

You just wait and watch out. Anytime soon Sandi will claim he is part of the team that proved gravitational wave exists.

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