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Retardog posted:Hey HCT, I showed your salty sayings from a page or two back to a buddy of mine that's been in for about 24 years. He was in tears laughing by the end and said you should publish them in a book or a daily calendar or whatever. So there ya go. all I did was post from the heart, the common plight of the lowly enlistedmen. I cannot take credit for the obvious truths of the gay retarded army.
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Feb 18, 2016 21:15
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spacetoaster posted:I watched an Iraqi "EOD expert" beat an EFPIED to pieces with a long stick until the electronics fell off of it. He then looked over at us sagely and said: "It's ok now." To be fair this is a pretty cheap way to handle it
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Feb 18, 2016 21:22
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:all I did was post from the heart, the common plight of the lowly enlistedmen. I cannot take credit for the obvious truths of the gay retarded army. I would buy a hooah calendar from you for the office. Also, stupid poo poo happened today: top decided it was more time efficient to leave two soldiers behind at the register, and have to drive thirty minutes back to get them later, instead of just waiting a minute. We were on the phone with them, literally walked out as we left and he said, "we gave them a deadline, and they missed movement." Maybe, but a PX run ain't quite the same as a convoy. I'm pretty sure the route is still gonna be green. Wasabi the J fucked around with this message at 22:52 on Feb 18, 2016 |
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Feb 18, 2016 22:45
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go3 posted:To be fair this is a pretty cheap way to handle it Called the Iraqi EOD over the radio in Baghdad. About 30 minutes later a taxi pulls up and some little old man with a leather case gets out. We direct him to the IED and he, with much importance, pulls a single screwdriver out of the case and begins using it to pry apart wires and circuit boards.
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Feb 18, 2016 22:50
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Wasabi the J posted:I would buy a hooah calendar from you for the office. You're natl guard right? I only did like 10 drills with the guard, so my experience is limited, and it was a rear detachment at that. Do they just try to give you as much pure rear end loving as possible in the limited time possible because they're A)Incompetent National Guard B)Trying hard to be like the "real army" C)All of the above
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Feb 18, 2016 22:58
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:You're natl guard right? I only did like 10 drills with the guard, so my experience is limited, and it was a rear detachment at that. Yes. Also AGRs completely blown away by things like "I have a loving job, unless I get orders no I cannot just get out of work to come to the far rear end armory to sign some loving thing in the middle of of my shift, sorry this is inconvenient for you." Cue tantrums from SNCOs because your obligations come first hooah why don't you act like a soldier and get fired so we can ask why you don't have a job next drill. Being on Ft Hood makes me super glad I wasn't "real army" though, my unit knows what they're doing in their jobs, so we do alright on deployment and on our drills, but the head shed is a poo poo show. Wasabi the J fucked around with this message at 23:08 on Feb 18, 2016 |
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Feb 18, 2016 23:04
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spacetoaster posted:Called the Iraqi EOD over the radio in Baghdad. About 30 minutes later a taxi pulls up and some little old man with a leather case gets out. We direct him to the IED and he, with much importance, pulls a single screwdriver out of the case and begins using it to pry apart wires and circuit boards. I wonder if like in Iraqi pop culture or whatever EOD dudes are seen as
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Feb 18, 2016 23:07
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ah yes the old "you're a soldier 24/7" treatment, which a lot of people seem to confuse with "on duty 24/7"
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Feb 18, 2016 23:08
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:ah yes the old "you're a soldier 24/7" treatment, which a lot of people seem to confuse with "on duty 24/7" you're a soldier first hooah we have you until 2359 Sunday, roger?
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Feb 18, 2016 23:10
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The only reason I would get a landline in 2015 is if I was in the guard or reserves, just so I could delete all the frantic calls (they hosed up something, now its an emergency for me) at the end of the day. gently caress giving them a cell number. Cell phones have really given "leaders" a lot of stupid expectations. No where does it say have to answer any calls at any time, just available to be reached. UUUUUUUUUUUUGH. One of my platoon sergeants insisted on calling me at 2300 one night to give me the days notes from the "sit around and talk about sports" jerk off 1sg dick sucking meeting they had that day. Such important information like "FRG meeting is next tuesday! If your spouse doesnt go you have to!" and poo poo. Eventually it ended with "brief your soldiers on this! I'll check!" no loving poo poo at 0615 in the morning she started quizzing my squad like WTF got her fired though so CHICKEN SHOES fucked around with this message at 23:19 on Feb 18, 2016 |
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Feb 18, 2016 23:15
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:The only reason I would get a landline in 2015 is if I was in the guard or reserves, just so I could delete all the frantic calls (they hosed up something, now its an emergency for me) at the end of the day. gently caress giving them a cell number. lmbo
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Feb 18, 2016 23:16
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:The only reason I would get a landline in 2015 is if I was in the guard or reserves, just so I could delete all the frantic calls (they hosed up something, now its an emergency for me) at the end of the day. gently caress giving them a cell number. I don't know how old you guys are, but I joined back in the last century before everyone had a cell phone. Sit down and listen to this tale children. There were no cell phones, there was no email. Heck, a lot of guys didn't even have computers. So when you got off work and went home. That was it. And if you went somewhere (bar, park, whatever) it was the same as if you just dropped off the face of the Earth. And everyone was fine with it. 
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Feb 18, 2016 23:21
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If I were in right now I would use a gvoice number, and set it to DND mode after 1700.
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Feb 18, 2016 23:27
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spacetoaster posted:I don't know how old you guys are, but I joined back in the last century before everyone had a cell phone. I joined in 03, and getting a cell phone around that time, where I was from, was like you made it. My first 3-4 years in the army was like it should be. You're off work at 1700 or whatever, no one gave a flying gently caress what you did between then, if something didn't get done, well thats what tomorrow is for! As long as you showed up at 0600 without any new criminal charges everyone was good to go. Then it just descended into madness with each pcs. Eventually I got issued a loving phone. Thanks USAREC. I left it at work most days, because it was mainly just supposed to be used to contact applicants and stuff without having to use our own minutes. They didn't like it, and one time my CO got mad because I didn't answer a phone call for a drug test at like 0600. Once we got more advanced that 10 year old flip phones, and got Galaxy S4s, they had dreams of activating all the GPS units on them and tracking the recruiters like a "blue force tracker" I feel really bad for anyone still in, seriously edit: And I think they'll do it eventually. Surveillance of the troops "hey you didn't say you were going to the lake on your 'UNDER THE OL' OAK TREE' talk (is that still an initiative? I haven't heard it since FORSCOM)" kind of poo poo. Fortunately issue phones aren't army wide, but give it 10-15 years CHICKEN SHOES fucked around with this message at 23:35 on Feb 18, 2016 |
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Feb 18, 2016 23:27
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I'm still
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Feb 18, 2016 23:36
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:I feel really bad for anyone still in, seriously I start retirement stuff in October. I can't wait to walk into my commanders office all:  And tell him I won't be in anymore because I have to start attending all the retirement briefings and turning in 20 years worth of issued crap and so forth.
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Feb 18, 2016 23:37
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"What's your plan for this week?" "ACAP." "When will you be in the office?" "ACAP." "Can yo-" "ACAP."
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Feb 18, 2016 23:41
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spacetoaster posted:I start retirement stuff in October. see you in the verse o7 being out of the army is such a huge weight off your shoulders, regardless of your experiences, i think. Except those dudes who built their entire existence around being in, then kill themselves the moment they're out. Lol at them I say, lol.
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Feb 18, 2016 23:42
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:see you in the verse o7 Dang dude. I'm probably that guy. I joined at 17 and was at military school before that. I'm just going to treat it like another PCS. I'm done with that part of my life and it's time to do something else. Mainly be Mr. Mom to a bunch of kids.
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Feb 18, 2016 23:47
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those people become cab drivers, gate guards or rangemasters if they retire in the same area if they go back home they become alcoholics and petty criminals, and possibly homeless
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Feb 18, 2016 23:47
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Vasudus posted:those people become cab drivers, gate guards or rangemasters if they retire in the same area I married a nice looking blonde (17 years ago) who makes a lot of money and is in to short, fat, bald men. So..jackpot. 
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Feb 18, 2016 23:51
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spacetoaster posted:Dang dude. I'm probably that guy. I joined at 17 and was at military school before that. I don't think anyone who posts in GIP is that guy, unless you're taking screen shots of this poo poo trying to take people down for not following the Army Values. http://www.armytimes.com/story/military/2014/12/31/moerk-commendation-award-trolling/21103073/
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Feb 19, 2016 00:01
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:I don't think anyone who posts in GIP is that guy, unless you're taking screen shots of this poo poo trying to take people down for not following the Army Values. Nope, I'm literally this guy:  I have recently caught lower enlisted hiding/shamming and joined them. Over the course of my 20 years I've had several super serious sitdown, closed door talks with higher ranking officers insisting that the military isn't for me and there would be no shame in letting them help me get out. Two of those officers got kicked out for abusing/harassing people within a year of those talks. And now, at the end, I realize they were right all along. I'm not an rear end in a top hat.
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Feb 19, 2016 00:16
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spacetoaster posted:Nope, I'm literally this guy: Huh, what rank are you?
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Feb 19, 2016 00:20
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I can't even imagine the army without cell phones, and I joined up around 2006. So much fuckery was initiated via cell phones and if one individual were to just take the "turn the phone off approach" or anything else it would have regularly hosed over his platoon-mates. It wasn't that unusual to have to form up in front of the barracks whether you lived on post in the middle of night or not when someone from the company got a DUI or whatever, for "accountability." Let alone being in a leadership position, if I didn't have a phone then my whole squad/team would just be hosed.
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Feb 19, 2016 00:31
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It paid off beautifully having an older hosed-up phone that still ran fine and could let you watch all the porn or YouTube you wanted to while taking your bi-daily 20min work shits, but somebody tries to tag you with some dumb poo poo at 2300 at night they'd better be loving prepared to kick my door down and find my pale hairy rear end stark naked and at that point actively trying to get my BAC over .2. "WHY THE gently caress DIDN'T YOU ANSWER YOUR PHONE?!" "Phone's lovely, I didn't get any notifications or calls until after you were beating on my door." "JESUS CHRIST GET A NEW loving PHONE!" "I don't earn enough money to justify replacing a phone that mostly still works." *insert brown-nosing E7 having a loving fit*
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Feb 19, 2016 00:43
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Naked Bear posted:"What's your plan for this week?" This is my life. It's great.
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Feb 19, 2016 01:42
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FOURTH WAVE LESBRO posted:"WHY THE gently caress DIDN'T YOU ANSWER YOUR PHONE?!" "YOU OBVIOUSLY NEED TO BE COUSELED ON FINANCE MANAGEMENT" *gets in expensive new SUV and rolls out*
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Feb 19, 2016 01:45
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My unit already knows I dont pick up my phone after 1700, they tried to give me poo poo about it once and I told them I go to bed at 1700 and if its an emergency they can drive 40 minutes and knock on my door and get told my wife isnt home and Im watching my kid.
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Feb 19, 2016 03:03
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it's always an emergency everything is an emergency YOU NEED TO GET YOUR ACCIDENT AVOIDANCE DONE TONIGHT
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Feb 19, 2016 03:05
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Hillary Clintons Thong posted:it's always an emergency Ah, sorry, Im watching my daughter, my wife gets home from work at 0530, Ill be there at 0615.
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Feb 19, 2016 03:19
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SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO UPDATE YOUR FAMILY CARE PLAN GUY
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Feb 19, 2016 03:21
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Family care plans are only required for dual military couples, my wife is a glorious civilian.
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Feb 19, 2016 03:27
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OH HUH WE GOT OURSELVES A BARRACKS LAWYER WISE GUY HERE, THINKING HE'S BACK ON THE STREET. WELL TELL YOUR WIFE TO FIND A NEW JOB BECAUSE YOUR WORK DAY NOW ENDS AT 1900 ok i'm done sorry
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Feb 19, 2016 03:29
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Zeris posted:Huh, what rank are you? High enough to be pretty smug about those guys.....and that there really isn't anyone who would really question where I am at any given time. I'd like to point out that I'm a staff officer. My command stuff is waaay behind me. I'm a big believer in 90% of good management is putting good people in the right positions and then taking really good care of them. It makes my job so easy.
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Feb 19, 2016 03:32
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Best one I've seen is someone shutting off their phone after final formation to ignore all the bullshit and the next day because IT WAS AN EMERGENCY WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER YOUR PHONE? SOLDIER 24/7 HOOAH? everything was his fault. Every step of the chain of command all the way up to brigade sold him down the loving river to cover their own asses because it was just basically expected in that unit that everyone was their first line's bitch at any hour for any reason. As a part of his counseling for being such a poo poo bag he had to call in every hour and check with his squad leader except for the times outlined in the counseling for sleep because it was all his fault you see. It couldn't possibly be because they'd been loving with our section for so long that people were getting fed up with it. Nope he was a poo poo bag it was all his fault. Rumblings started about just not having cell phones at all (that the Army knew about) and the response was to tell people if they did that the next person counseled in that way would have to show up in person to CQ every two(?) hours I think it was and see if there was any information that had to be passed on (I.E. they were hosed and had to go do X now).
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Feb 19, 2016 03:37
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spacetoaster posted:High enough to be pretty smug about those guys.....and that there really isn't anyone who would really question where I am at any given time. I'd like to point out that I'm a staff officer. My command stuff is waaay behind me. O-5 spotted
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Feb 19, 2016 03:41
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SumYungGui posted:Best one I've seen is someone shutting off their phone after final formation to ignore all the bullshit and the next day because IT WAS AN EMERGENCY WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER YOUR PHONE? SOLDIER 24/7 HOOAH? everything was his fault. Every step of the chain of command all the way up to brigade sold him down the loving river to cover their own asses because it was just basically expected in that unit that everyone was their first line's bitch at any hour for any reason.
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Feb 19, 2016 03:47
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yeah that sounds about like my chemical company
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Feb 19, 2016 03:52
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SumYungGui posted:Best one I've seen is someone shutting off their phone after final formation to ignore all the bullshit and the next day because IT WAS AN EMERGENCY WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER YOUR PHONE? SOLDIER 24/7 HOOAH? everything was his fault. Every step of the chain of command all the way up to brigade sold him down the loving river to cover their own asses because it was just basically expected in that unit that everyone was their first line's bitch at any hour for any reason. That's fricken ate up.
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Feb 19, 2016 03:59
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