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Dick Trauma posted:I know someone had asked for a catch-up megapost but frankly I'm too burned out to spew out all the terrible crap I've put up with over the last year. I'm glad after a year and a half of not reading this thread, I can come back to something familiar- Dick Trauma being poo poo on.
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Feb 25, 2016 05:36
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I'm not even the one who has to deal with this asshattery and I can feel myself becoming disillusioned with IT work. I truly, genuinely hope things get better for y'all, DT and the rest of you who have to deal with assholes on a daily basis.
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Feb 25, 2016 08:07
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If you guys want to hear a happy story: New CIO actually did a pretty fun party for us today. Went off site at 2pm. Everyone got at least 1 comped drink ticket and i've garnered so much goodwill that I had 6 handed to me. Obv I don't want to get trashed at work so I gave two away but basically ended up drinking 4 nice stouts in 3 hours. Food was actually really decent as well. As people gave me drink tickets, they cited how I had saved their asses 
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Feb 25, 2016 08:47
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stubblyhead posted:Plugs into wall ==> IT's responsibility. Snow plugs into the wall.
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Feb 25, 2016 13:00
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Look at the positives Dick Trauma, you're still getting a paycheck even with being ignored. It's a lot more fun and less stressful to look for a job while you are already employed! Hopefully you find something that sticks that you like. If you feel your tech skills are getting weak use some of that ample work free time to take a cheap udemy class or something.
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Feb 25, 2016 15:25
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iOS mail app.... A large portion of our customers receive PDF copies of their invoices via email when invoices are charged to their account. Over the past 2-3 months we have been getting lots of calls/emails from angry customers because they are only receiving the first page of any PDFs we send to them. All of these customers have one thing in common.. They are looking at the email with a iOS device. Not sure when this changed, but for some stupid reason, the iOS mail client in some cases only shows the first page of any PDF, with no obvious option to see the other pages. You tap on the PDF attachment, and you only get the first page. You have to tap and hold on the first page, then you get the option to Open, which then opens it again, but allows you to see all the pages. But then in some cases it does this automatically without having to tap and hold on it!
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Feb 25, 2016 17:31
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I wish I could give an 'honest assessment' of who the people with the least amount of computer skills are in each department to managers. Then they could re-train them or fire their retarded asses.
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Feb 25, 2016 19:24
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Bob Morales posted:I wish I could give an 'honest assessment' of who the people with the least amount of computer skills are in each department to managers. Then they could re-train them or fire their retarded asses. Ticket volume/average severity by reporting user?
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Feb 25, 2016 22:35
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I'd love to implement two custom fields for "Was issue caused by user?" And "Actual severity" to be filled in by techs. Would have some fantastic user based reports to share after a few months.
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Feb 25, 2016 22:46
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Che Delilas posted:Ticket volume/average severity by reporting user? Triviality of ticket and amount of mouth-breathing. We hire people who can't type, don't know how to use Office, etc. Windows 95 came out 20 loving years ago people have no excuse to have basic computer skills.
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Feb 25, 2016 22:51
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Bob Morales posted:Triviality of ticket and amount of mouth-breathing. We will win this battle as we continue to lower baby boomers into the ground
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Feb 25, 2016 23:04
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mewse posted:We will win this battle as we continue to lower baby boomers into the ground I work at a University with college students. No we won't.
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Feb 25, 2016 23:24
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Way back when I worked retail I had a manager that was throwing hidden cameras all over the place to find out who was stealing a few snacks. He got busted with tens of thousands of dollars worth of stolen merch, although I don't think his cameras caught him.
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Feb 25, 2016 23:25
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Bob Morales posted:I wish I could give an 'honest assessment' of who the people with the least amount of computer skills are in each department to managers. Then they could re-train them or fire their retarded asses. We in IT (as in all of us sans our director) started a series of meetings with the HR director to voice our concerns about the company direction, how we need a tier 1 helpdesk person to deal with the stupid bullshit, etc. Nothing in an attempt to go over our directors head, he knows and is supportive. One of our big complaints is the quality of people in the organization, barely any troubleshooting on their own or any sort of critical thinking skills attempted before throwing in a ticket or calling. The HR director agrees, knows, and already has a list of people that are first against the wall at the next opportunity. 
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Feb 26, 2016 00:16
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We have that same list for our company. However we hire for 'fit'. The person who fits best with a bunch of dinosaurs is another dinosaur. The company has no IT competency, it's expected that the IT dept somehow bridges the gap by delivering.... Something. I'll let you guys know when I figure out what it is.
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Feb 26, 2016 00:43
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devmd01 posted:We in IT (as in all of us sans our director) started a series of meetings with the HR director to voice our concerns about the company direction, how we need a tier 1 helpdesk person to deal with the stupid bullshit, etc. Nothing in an attempt to go over our directors head, he knows and is supportive. This is interesting to me because it's long been my contention that IT, by virtue of working with every single person in the company, has the best knowledge of whether they're a capable worker. To me it comes down to what you said - did they do any critical thinking, and are they capable of following simple directions. If not, they're a waste of space and are unlikely to be some sort of savant at their actual job task. (Sales is a somewhat outlier here since I think the ability to sell things is unique and very much, in fact, almost always, not tied to being able to critically think). But in most other roles, being that today's workers are information workers and need to know how to do things with a computer, I've always seen that the people we think of as idiot users also tend to be bad at their actual job and really should just be fired. Basically if I were a CEO I'd go to my IT workers and be like "who would you fire if you had a chance, and why exactly". This also presumes I've already made sure my IT workers aren't idiots.
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Feb 26, 2016 01:10
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Potato Alley posted:Basically if I were a CEO I'd go to my IT workers and be like "who would you fire if you had a chance, and why exactly". This also presumes I've already made sure my IT workers aren't idiots.
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Feb 26, 2016 01:24
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The more I learn about the code for the application my company develops, the more horrified I am.
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Feb 26, 2016 02:12
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mewse posted:We will win this battle as we continue to lower baby boomers into the ground New thread title please.
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Feb 26, 2016 02:13
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Downside is the world is always creating new idiots so even when the boomers are gone not much will change.
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Feb 26, 2016 02:17
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Over the last few days I've been helping a remote location troubleshoot a even more remote ATM that sits on a DSL connection. As far as I can tell, it is a problem with the DSL provider, as the connection drops for awhile, and then comes back, all without us doing anything. When its up, I get into the firewall and I see that its not rebooting, the VPN rekeys once it talks back to our side. The side facing the ATM sometimes flaps, but the side facing the DSL modem is solid. I tell the person onsite to keep harassing the provider, as there is nothing I can really do. Person helping me says that is fine, thanks me and says she'll keep me informed. Couple of hours later, my boss responds to an earlier email from her and basically throws me under the bus saying that its probably not the DSL line at all, but a bad cable on the trusted side of the firewall. He attaches past of the log file which does nothing but look important, and then tells me he solved the problem. I mention that even if the trusted side of the firewall is down and the VPN drops, the outside side of the firewall would still be accessible. He looks at me, and says he is positive its the cable or the speed/duplex setting. So today an ATM tech shows up and says the machine is online and we go ahead and swap out the cables because why not. Speed and duplex are still good, cables look fine and we both agree the odds of this being anything but a DSL issue is pretty much nonexistent. Wonder what excuse the boss will come up with when that doesn't fix it. Also, he had 2 people from our internet provider come by to talk to him about future projects or something, as he didn't introduce us to them, then left for lunch for them without saying a word. Such an amazing prick that its almost a work of art.
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Feb 26, 2016 03:17
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Oh Lord (whom i don't believe in, but it makes for a good narrative) please give the the strength to not lose my poo poo at all the whining about two factor auth." Thanks in advance. Love, Nitrogen Also, the fact I set all this up, i'm taking it personally even though I know I have no reason to.
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Feb 26, 2016 03:48
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nitrogen posted:Oh Lord (whom i don't believe in, but it makes for a good narrative) please give the the strength to not lose my poo poo at all the whining about two factor auth." What we do at my job (and is the most rage inducing part for users and my favorite part) is when you login to an account without an MFA you can only go add an MFA and have to logout/login to go any further. Cheeky bastards think they've successfully thwarted us only to be kicked in the face. Also this helps with troubleshooting and the cattle solution: "My MFA is broken" "Ok cool I removed it, set it up again" "but wait whaaa why Virigoth why!" "Here is the link to the wiki page to do it, have a nice day!"
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Feb 26, 2016 04:02
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There's slight whining about 2FA here, but PCI bitches deal with it.
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Feb 26, 2016 04:07
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Potato Alley posted:This is interesting to me because it's long been my contention that IT, by virtue of working with every single person in the company, has the best knowledge of whether they're a capable worker. To me it comes down to what you said - did they do any critical thinking, and are they capable of following simple directions. If not, they're a waste of space and are unlikely to be some sort of savant at their actual job task. (Sales is a somewhat outlier here since I think the ability to sell things is unique and very much, in fact, almost always, not tied to being able to critically think). But in most other roles, being that today's workers are information workers and need to know how to do things with a computer, I've always seen that the people we think of as idiot users also tend to be bad at their actual job and really should just be fired. What amazes me about my current environment is when a department gets a new service or application, even if it involves an in house server, we require them to get a support contract. When something breaks, their first line support is to directly contact their vendor (and copy us). This results in departments knowing how their poo poo works, how to fix minor issues, and what the limitations of their product is. Critical thinking is part of the culture and they hire people to match. Also, I worked sales for two years before getting in to IT and easily outsold any of the knuckleheads there. Sales does not get a pass on critical thinking but can get by without it and not get fired. I guarantee if an organization switched the sales team and IT team for a week, it will still be a one-sided affair of who accomplishes poo poo and who flails around complaining that everything is working against them.
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Feb 26, 2016 05:09
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anthonypants posted:I had thought that by now, we'd all have understood how incredibly hosed up stack ranking is, but I guess not. I thought stack ranking was where x number of people in a department get commended and x get warned/fired, regardless of how well or badly the department as a whole was doing. I don't think IT would do well as sales, at least not with the number of sperglords it attracts (I include myself).
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Feb 26, 2016 05:20
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MF_James posted:There's slight whining about 2FA here, but PCI bitches deal with it. Yeah. It's annoying, I get that, but it's out of my hands. Regulatory requirement, blame Obama (the requirement started in 2012 for hipaa i'm told, and we weaseled it, but no more.)
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Feb 26, 2016 05:38
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22 Eargesplitten posted:I thought stack ranking was where x number of people in a department get commended and x get warned/fired, regardless of how well or badly the department as a whole was doing. Mostly, but it also involves putting them in an ordered list, because skills and experiences are perfectly fungible and that is the most sensible way to determine who is objectively best and objectively worst. You literally make a stack of rankings.
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Feb 26, 2016 05:54
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I've been in sales and a team leader and trainer for salespeople. At best we IT people could be considered decent to slightly above average salespeople, since we would be able to know the product, answer all questions from the customer and not make any mistakes in the customer interaction and sales process. A human waste of space and oxygen with no skills at all will crush any and all of us in sales numbers as long as they have a salesmans personality. As an IT person I can take my troubleshooting skills to my dishwasher, my car or my IKEA furniture, whereas someone like Michael Scott from The Office is an excellent salesperson and sucks at everything else. None of their sales skills are transferable to any other skill because they have no reflection about what they do or how they do it, it is pure personality.
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Feb 26, 2016 08:31
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When I worked at a newspaper I felt I could if needed handle any job related to getting the paper made and printed out. With the exception of advertising sales. gently caress sales.
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Feb 26, 2016 10:00
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What is pissing me off right now: My cellphone won't stop ringing (enabled call waiting is not helping). Landline phone next to me won't stop ringing (on all lines). My private cell won't stop ringing, because loving coworker gave out that number to a client. Everyone is calling with stupid problems which they could easily solve themselves (haha, yeah right). Half of the calls are "I can't sign this document with a certificate". Totally not helping it is that, as a means of convenience, our Ministry of Interior is issuing personal certificates on identity card, except none of them issued before certain dates work. If you somehow do get them to work, then you bork all the ones issued after said date. Here you have to get all the tax-related paperwork by the end of february, and everything has to be digitally signed. Also, none of my coworkers are here, they are mostly somewhere on-site, client is moving to new space over the weekend, and it seems no one bothered to organize poo poo. It seems like there is not enough bourbon in the world right now to help me. Sorry for the e/n, I needed to vent.
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Feb 26, 2016 12:50
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When clients call your private cell, put on a fake accent and speak gibberish. Then shoot the coworker that gave out your number.
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Feb 26, 2016 13:11
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Collateral Damage posted:When clients call your private cell, put on a fake accent and speak gibberish. Tell them they have the wrong number and give them the offending coworkers number.
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Feb 26, 2016 13:15
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Collateral Damage posted:When clients call your private cell, put on a fake accent and speak gibberish. Offer to take their order for pizza and/or sex toys.
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Feb 26, 2016 13:34
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Recruiter just made the official permanent ban shitlist. I'm not even sure if he was calling trying to get me for something or wanting to recruit for any open positions I have (I don't have any open positions), but he called my personal cell phone at 8:05 am. I'm not even sure why he had my personal cell phone, but that's before I get up for work so I was still sleeping. The only calls I get this early in the morning is escalation from work telling me poo poo is hosed or if a relative died. So, thanks fucker for starting my day by making my heart leap into my chest. You have now earned a place on my carrier's block list.
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Feb 26, 2016 14:35
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mewse posted:We will win this battle as we continue to lower baby boomers into the ground It's not even just old people. Plenty of 20-somethings don't have a clue how to use a computer. But people think "you're young and have an iPhone! You must be good with computers you're hired!" edit: at lunch all the interns were eating at a table and the owner of the company (76 years old?) walked by and he said "Oh this makes me feel like I am at Google or Facebook in Silicon Valley. Having all these super-intelligent young people working here that understand technology" All of them were snapchatting or some poo poo on their phones. This last batch of interns was possibly the loving dumbest group we've ever had. Most likely because it consisted of the owners youngest kid and 6-7 of his buddies. Bob Morales fucked around with this message at 15:08 on Feb 26, 2016 |
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Feb 26, 2016 15:05
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Potato Alley posted:This is interesting to me because it's long been my contention that IT, by virtue of working with every single person in the company, has the best knowledge of whether they're a capable worker. To me it comes down to what you said - did they do any critical thinking, and are they capable of following simple directions. If not, they're a waste of space and are unlikely to be some sort of savant at their actual job task. (Sales is a somewhat outlier here since I think the ability to sell things is unique and very much, in fact, almost always, not tied to being able to critically think). But in most other roles, being that today's workers are information workers and need to know how to do things with a computer, I've always seen that the people we think of as idiot users also tend to be bad at their actual job and really should just be fired. Clearly this would have no negative effects on morale at your company whatsoever.
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Feb 26, 2016 15:28
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evobatman posted:I've been in sales and a team leader and trainer for salespeople. At best we IT people could be considered decent to slightly above average salespeople, since we would be able to know the product, answer all questions from the customer and not make any mistakes in the customer interaction and sales process. A human waste of space and oxygen with no skills at all will crush any and all of us in sales numbers as long as they have a salesmans personality. As an IT person I can take my troubleshooting skills to my dishwasher, my car or my IKEA furniture, whereas someone like Michael Scott from The Office is an excellent salesperson and sucks at everything else. None of their sales skills are transferable to any other skill because they have no reflection about what they do or how they do it, it is pure personality. Oh christ yes. I used to work at Future Shop (canadian Best Buy, now dead) and the tech office had one of the top computer sales people across Canada believing that those clear plastic doohickeys at the bottom of the DVD spindle were a new storage format. I think we called them Laser Discs. The dude couldn't figure his way out of a paper bag where a computer was related, but the fucker regularly made top 10 and got sent on trips for his sales numbers. Bob Morales posted:It's not even just old people. Plenty of 20-somethings don't have a clue how to use a computer. I think I've posted this before, but it seems like there's an interesting generational thing at work. It's split into three basic categories: Old fucks: Your parents and older. People who didn't grow up at a point where personal computers were a thing. Probably have stories about using punch cards to play around with the computer at high school, at best. Generally don't care to learn about computers, as the older ways are absolutely objectively better and I'll be damned if I'm going to give my banking information to google they are just trying to hack me but hold on I need to put my SIN in this website to download solitaire. Nerd generation: Grew up with personal computers, or at least cared enough when they became more common that they tried to use them. Got into computing when you needed a certain amount of knowledge to do more than run Word(perfect). Because of this, knows more than just "press butan recieve flashy lights", and is generally able to problem solve in at least a limited fashion. "It just works" generation: Raised on iphones and macs. Computers are an integral part of their lives, but they have no goddamn idea how to use them, as they are used to the computer holding their hand through every step of the process. Completely unable to handle things not working properly, because it's not something they have to deal with on a regular basis. It's more of a spectrum than absolute classification, and there are definitely outliers, but there's a definite peak of computer-savviness beyond being able to install apps, and it was in the past.
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Feb 26, 2016 15:47
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ChickenWing posted:
So is me making my 10 year old install windows 10 on a new PC a good thing, or possibly a form of child abuse?
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Feb 26, 2016 16:01
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SubjectVerbObject posted:So is me making my 10 year old install windows 10 on a new PC a good thing, or possibly a form of child abuse? ARCH LINUX
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Feb 26, 2016 16:06
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