PurpleXVI posted:Just prop the mummified corpse up and use ventriloquism to order everyone around. Weekend at Yian's?
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Mar 1, 2016 02:31
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| # ? Jun 8, 2024 23:12 |
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 Inside an imperial suite in a non-descript luxury hotel in Macau...   “So yes, China should be getting back in business within a year with this deal. With my thanks, what’s next on the schedule?” the newly returned Wittenborg leader asked. “Europe.” Hans Lüneburg volunteered and proceeded to spend the next half an hour talking about figures and treaties.  “So… If I understand this correctly…” Razafindrandriatsimaniry Morgan seemed to be deep in thought “We have the entire continent under our control? Because if what you are telling us is true, then everything that isn’t miserable Poland or Ukraine is pretty much our marketplace, cheap labour or an ally.”  Hans seemed rather smug about it. “How did we even negotiate an entente with New Aztlan?” Marianne von Bardewick inquired, young as ever. “A better question is why it took us so long to accept that we would both profit a lot more by being partners rather than rivals. Now there is still the matter of the Tunisian Bey swearing loyalty to the Caliph, but we have merely accepted their sovereign in the affairs of fellow Aztlan nations, as well as France.” Hans answered. “They have been nothing but trouble since Gotthard destroyed their monarchy.” Viktoria von Goon added. “Yes, yes, and they have accepted our domain over the rest of the continent. It is a good deal and we enticed them with a tariff cut through the Suez for a bit of good will, so it was settled.” “My turn.” Raza said excitedly. He was a lot more eloquent than Hans and the subsequent half an hour passed a lot faster, but arrived at the same conclusion.  “Africa is ours.” he announced with a satisfied grin to the collective nods of his fellow board members. “Time for your report, Warendorp.”  “Ixachitlan is almost ours and we have the political situation in Neubauten under control. Despite the number of conflicting ideologies competing for the elections, there was a considerable degree of mutual respect and a focus on issues during the debates. It seems our young superpower is an adult now.”  “Did we really have to let the guildists win?” Marianne asked.  “It does not matter who wins the championship when we own all the teams. Your socialists might be a problem in that subcontinent of yours that’s barely under control, but in Neubauten we have our own personnel infiltrated on all levels of the opposition.”  “We actually managed to convince the people that young Tim Eisen comes from a long line of metal workers who has worked his way up through his guild and from there to political life. It helps that he can talk the part and has an actual record of fighting for workers’ rights.”   “But giving money to the unemployed? That is so… Disgusting!” “It is a good thing to maintain the unemployed connected to the economy, all we need is more consumer goods catering to them.”  “And it is not like there are that many unemployed people in Neubauten. Our policies work.” Lüneburg added to the discussion.  “You are enamored of him. That boy is a true believer and he will ruin everything we have built for generations. His tax on wealth is unfair and discriminating on the people most responsible for maintaining our civilization.” “Oh, please, you had six months advance warning to move your assets. It can hardly put a dent on our finances.” Hans responded “And we need to keep the new money on their toes.” Cue about one hour of gossiping and bickering over who has the most kitsch neighbor near their summer home. “Back on the track…” Wurzburg suddenly remembered what he was supposed to talk about. “Our numbers are…” his presentation was dry, but functional. “Right, Middle East and India.” Marianne let out a long sigh.  “Iranian nationalism in the Atefid territories is being heavily influenced by the nearby communists and the Bharatiya Union keeps building up their infrastructure. My spies have gathered...”  And such and such. “We can expect them to attack us anytime now.” “Great job, von Bardewicks.” Hans said, rolling his eyes. “gently caress you.” “The class of royalty.” “Stop.” Viktoria said in a monotone, feeling like a nanny for spoiled cats. There was an uncomfortable pause. It stretched a bit. “What is that you are reading?” Raza asked Wurzburg, who had tuned out of the conversation a long time ago.  “Oh? This? Nothing much. Some young men and women were distributing these pamphlets in the dock in Hamburg, my grandson was rather impressed by them and wanted to know what I made of it, some sort of political movement I suppose, nothing with the traction to shape history.”  “Very well.” Viktoria stood by the window, her back turned to the rest of the board “I know what our next step should be.” The group waited for her to continue, the sky was nothing but peaceful azure and pink drawn in wild strokes by an inspired God. “I am an old woman. I want to see the Hansa ruling the world before I pass away, I want this era to be named after me.”  “And I know how. We have Europe and Africa and China. We have all of northern Ixachitlan and an alliance with the only power capable of matching us. We have the support of Selatan Besar and their eldritch masters. We have an army and navy capable of taking on the world. We have the wealth of the Hansa at our disposal.”  “We will wait for a crisis, a people in need for us to save. We will take their side, we will draw in our rivals. They know what we are doing, they will know that they have to act together now or we will be unstoppable.”  “Each will call their own allies and the world will burn and only the Hansa will remain standing over the ashes that will give birth to the 20th century.” Another uncomfortable silence. “If you excuse me, Viktoria von Goon, that sounds awfully melodramatic. And insane.” Wittenburg said, shifting uncomfortably. “Actually… You know, I think we can pull that off. We do have a secret… Advantage.” Hans Lüneburg said. “Come again?” von Bardewick asked. “I think I know what he is talking about.” Raza Morgan answered. “Do tell.” He did. They all laughed.   “Let the world burn.”  “You still sound crazy.”          
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Mar 1, 2016 06:01
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Why do we even care about South Ixachitlan when we could be reclaiming the rest of Our China from the ancient, despotic so-called Republic of Angkor? 
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Mar 1, 2016 06:24
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This thread vanishes for so long at a time I forget how completely insane this setting is. Like, forget the cthulhu poo poo, remember how we gave a piece of the Rockies to the pope?
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Mar 1, 2016 07:04
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We are also presently at war with Neo-Carthage  .
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Mar 1, 2016 07:26
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Will this be the second nuclear war?
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Mar 1, 2016 07:43
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Rejected Fate posted:I enjoy hearing the Altaic's succeed. Me too. =)
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Mar 1, 2016 08:22
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GSD posted:Why do we even care about South Ixachitlan when we could be reclaiming the rest of Our China from the ancient, despotic so-called Republic of Angkor? I took the liberty of adding every GP who's not on our side to the opposing team. So now we are at war with the Aztecs, the Andines, Qart Hadasht, Angkor and the Oste Wasi; their allies and other people pissed off at us should be joining them as the great war events begin firing. I mean, we either do this now and get somewhat outstretched or victory lap on their face later. It is also supposed to represent the rest of the world banding together to stop the Hansa before it becomes impossible to do so. This is the moment of the game where I would stop and convert the LP to Hearts of Iron IV if that was ever coming out (and wasn't a lot more complex to do conversions for), but since that isn't in the cards we'll have to settle for very murderous trench warfare everywhere. Also, since V2's AI is dumber than a bag and can't focus their research at anything worthwhile, for every year that the war goes on I will fire an event giving our enemies two years' worth of research to represent them getting their stuff together for a decent last stand. Voting for our map gore incoming.
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Mar 1, 2016 13:09
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 What do we want? The world. When do we want it? Yesterday. How do we want it? Hmmm…. So… The Victoria 2 wargoal system works for smaller conflicts, but it is often rather poor to represent the changes wrought by something like a world war. The systems added in the expansions provide an awkward fix of sorts, while the Great War mod (built in into GRTW) has an adequate system for dismantling empires. We’ll use neither. Rather we will vote on our wargoals and I will describe what we need to achieve to get those demands and that’s what. If we lose we’ll suffer a proper dismantle empire from our rivals. We’ll have two rounds of voting, one for Ixachitlan/Kay Pacha and Africa. The other for Asia. If you require information to make an informed vote the charts at the end of the update above should answer most things, but feel free to ask. THE AZTEC EMPIRE: Our constant nemesis and occasional foil. a) The Amnesty Treaty: We have gone back and forth far too many times in this last century. Too much blood has been spilled over the lands of the Greater Aztec Empire and this has not gone unnoticed by the Empress. We should use a victory in the field of battle to convince Tapazoc’s generals that war against the Hansa is an useless endeavour and let the Empress recognize that the Aztec Empire has no claims on the territories now belonging to Neubauten or its allied nations, giving our nations a chance to forge onwards in peace. Aztec Empire loses all cores on us and our friends, they will also have to give our alliance military access during the Great War. Requires a victory in the field and our armies must have reached Tenochtitlan. A) The Aztec Abolition Act: Peace with the Aztecs? What non-sense is this. They have been nothing but a torn on our side since the 13th century. We should use force to remove their nation off the face of the Earth. Give the north of their country to our Chihuahua Republic, the south to an expanded puppet Mayan Republic and the center will be ruled by a corporate conglomerate branded Aztechnology. Nothing can possibly go wrong with this. This will require a complete occupation of Aztec territory. THE ANDINE REPUBLIC: The allies we betrayed or betrayed us or something. Politics are complicated. @) The Panama Concession: The Andines provided us with considerable aid in the Chinese campaign and they have been good partners otherwise, specially when it came to containing the Aztec menace. I don’t think it is right for us to prolong a war with them, but there is one thing that we could change about our friendship… The Panama Canal is far too valuable for global trade to belong to any one nation, it should be an independent corporation granted extraterritoriality by the Hanseatic League. We gain the Panama Canal. This requires a military victory and complete control of the Isthmus of Panama. This may be combined with the AWTT vote. AWTT) Afrika Wasi Transfer Treaty: Why only Panama? The Incans are troubled by their colonial burden and we should relieve them of it. We will defeat their colonial forces and split their colonies between the Hansa. Sahara to the Eurohansa, Mali for New Aztlan and the rest for Britain. Requires a victory over the Andean Colonial Corps. This may be combined with the @ vote. Æ) The Tawantinsuyu Reform Plan: Did you know that Tawantinsuyu means “the four regions”? It is about time they earned their name. We will free the Mayas north of the isthmus, grab the Panama for ourselves, split their continental holdings into four main regions and grab their colonies. That should be good enough for them. Requires complete occupation of Andean territories. QART HADASHT: A severely underused nation in this alt-history. Â) The Sydwin Treaty: Actually, this whole affair began over the execution of a hundred Sydwin Secessionists in Qart Utica. Maybe we should actually restore their territory so we don’t come off like hypocrites? Sydwin must be unoccupied and all their cores within Qart Hadasht must be under our control. This may be combined with the à vote. Ã) The Senegal Transfer: Qart Hadasht still maintains some colonies in western Africa, plus a few islands. We could nab them for ourselves. Senegal goes to the Old Hansa, the islands to Neubauten and we are good to go. Sink the Qart Hadasht navy, occupy all their colonies. The Andine Republic must not be in the war anymore. May be combined with the  vote. C) CARTHAGO DELENDA EST: It is the cabbage which surpasses all other vegetables for medical value. It may be eaten either cooked or raw; if you eat it raw, dip it into vinegar. It promotes digestion and is an excellent laxative. If you wish to drink a lot at a banquet and enjoy your dinner, eat as much raw cabbage as you wish before dinner... Cabbage can be used as a poultice on all kinds of wounds and swellings; it will cleanse all sores and heal without pain; it will soften and open boils... Headache and eye ache it heals alike... Also if you feel sick, if the spleen is swollen, if the heart is painful, or the liver - in a word, it will cure all internal organs... And still further, if you save the urine of a person who eats a lot of cabbage, heat it, and bathe the patient in it... Also, if babies are bathed in this urine they will never be weakly. Moreover, I say Carthage must be destroyed! Requires complete occupation of Qart Hadasht. We’ll take their colonies as above and all territories outside their northeast will be split between Sydwin, The Guarani Free State, Qart Tanit and Patagonia. You may add write-in options.  Voting will be go for 48 hours from this post
ZearothK fucked around with this message at 15:00 on Mar 1, 2016 |
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Mar 1, 2016 14:58
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A, Æ, C Let's make this a proper war to end all wars. Just think of it: nothing in this hemisphere will be a threat to us ever again! This seems like a noble and laudable goal.
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Mar 1, 2016 15:15
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Pakled posted:A, Æ, C Agreed. Aztechnology 4 lyfe
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Mar 1, 2016 15:26
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Pakled posted:A, Æ, C Agreed. Total dominion.
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Mar 1, 2016 15:41
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A, Æ, C It's time this hemisphere learnt the true meaning of 'Corporate takeover'.
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Mar 1, 2016 15:45
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A, Æ, C Absolutely no reason to half-rear end this crazy poo poo.
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Mar 1, 2016 15:58
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Pakled posted:A, Æ, C BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
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Mar 1, 2016 16:36
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As a long-time Shadowrun player I should be vehemently opposed to anything with Aztechnology anywhere near it. However, the "All-out Warfare or Bust" option is way too promising... A, Æ, C
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Mar 1, 2016 17:03
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Pakled posted:A, Æ, C If we are going to declare war on the whole world anyway, there is no reason to half-rear end it. Go for broke.
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Mar 1, 2016 17:08
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A,AE,ÂÃ Pity Vote for Underused Neo-Carthage.
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Mar 1, 2016 17:26
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A, Æ, C Chaos reigns. 
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Mar 1, 2016 17:47
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A, Æ, Â Â is the one I feel most strongly about since we might as well accomplish the actual pretext of this war.
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Mar 1, 2016 17:48
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Empress Theonora posted:A, Æ, Â I believe that's covered in C. quote:all territories outside their northeast will be split between Sydwin, The Guarani Free State, Qart Tanit and Patagonia.
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Mar 1, 2016 17:50
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AJ_Impy posted:A, Æ, C
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Mar 1, 2016 17:56
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A, Æ, C We shall prove once and for all that gold rules the world.
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Mar 1, 2016 18:07
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Not voting because I believe our opponents will succeed in defeating our racist asses and putting us in our place.  EDUT: Totally not because I can't remember the alt-codes. No siree... EDIT2: Haha, edut. GenderSelectScreen fucked around with this message at 18:14 on Mar 1, 2016 |
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Mar 1, 2016 18:09
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a) The Amnesty Treaty @) The Panama Concession Â) The Sydwin Treaty
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Mar 1, 2016 18:33
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GunnerJ posted:A, Æ, C Let's full-rear end this crazy poo poo.
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Mar 1, 2016 19:20
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A) The Aztec Abolition Act @) The Panama Concession Â) The Sydwin Treaty
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Mar 1, 2016 19:20
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RagnarokZ posted:A) The Aztec Abolition Act Let's leave Qart Hadasht just powerful enough to go full revanchist on us.
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Mar 1, 2016 19:23
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a) @) Â
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Mar 1, 2016 19:58
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Haha, did that happen in a game of yours or did someone give that to you?
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Mar 1, 2016 20:15
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a, @, AWTT, Ã, Â.
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Mar 1, 2016 20:35
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A, Æ, C Burn this gay earth.
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Mar 1, 2016 21:43
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Hitlers Gay Secret posted:Haha, did that happen in a game of yours or did someone give that to you? A player in my Godgame bought it for me.
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Mar 1, 2016 21:50
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TinTower posted:A, Æ, C Agreed
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Mar 1, 2016 22:00
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A, Æ, C We lettin' the world burn or what
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Mar 1, 2016 22:55
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We shall unite all peoples in a Hanseatic League of Nations. Nations truly United. Mostly by gold, but also by the whispers of the Old Ones.
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Mar 2, 2016 01:14
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Pakled posted:A, Æ, C This really helps to simplify the war planning. Mass everyone in Texas and have them march south until they can't no more.
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Mar 2, 2016 01:21
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A, Æ, C We already own nine-tenths of the world-so why don't we try and go for 100% capitalistic domination and start Shadowrun a century early as an added bonus?
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Mar 2, 2016 02:08
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WilliamAnderson posted:A, Æ, C
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Mar 2, 2016 02:28
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| # ? Jun 8, 2024 23:12 |
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a, @, C. That'll teach goons to vote for the zaniest possible option every time.
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Mar 2, 2016 03:55
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