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  And of course the comments are beating this non-existent dead horse. Verisimilidude has a new favorite as of 03:24 on Mar 3, 2016 |
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Mar 3, 2016 02:53
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Ryoshi posted:I hope that actually happened because if it's true he deserves so much worse. It's definitely a strawman troll.
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Mar 3, 2016 03:33
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 quote:Stopped to get dinner for my son and the guy behind us in the drive-thru yells to my son, "Hurry up fucken friend of the family!" When I got to the window I asked to pay for his order. I wrote this on the back of his receipt and asked the cashier to hand it to him with his food. My son asked me why I paid for his food if he was mean, I explained that being nice to nice people is easy, you have to be nice to mean people, that's the hardest thing to do. ... Nahhhh. Didn't happen.
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Mar 3, 2016 06:52
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Rabbitquote:This Troper works at a Pet Smart and can tell you that large dogs being really friendly seems to be the rule rather than the exception - however, this might just mean that owners of big, mean dogs just leave them at home. Mean little dogs, however... Ozzy quote:This Troper has a dog who's a husky/ germain sherpard mix. He's the size of your averge sized mini-horse and tiny kids are afraid of him yet he's a big baby. When we first got our smaller dog, a Jack Russel mix, the smaler dog had our larger dog backed into a corner for two days! And another instancee comes to mind, our old neighborhood used to be really bad (Drug-dealers, whores etc. etc) so the police were often visting. One day a murder occurred in an apartment down the road so they had to clear everyone out right so SWAT people come barging into our apartment, in full gear with guns pointing at us and the dog and all Ozzy wanted was for them to pet him! Party quote:Averted/Subverted by this troper, who has a fear of dogs after several neighborhood ones decided they would stop at nothing to try and chase me down. A pattern emerged: when visiting the house of any dog-owner, everyone would invariably assure me that the dog was totally harmless and friendly, using a description that sounds like it came from this page. I was never convinced, so they would lock the dog away somewhere and say it would remain there for my stay. It would then proceed to somehow escape and chase me down. Every. Single. Time. One time one of them even managed to open a door to get to me. Eventually, went I went to another friend's birthday party, and his mom managed to actually keep the dog on a leash. At one point while I was eating, I heard a bark behind me and quickly turned to that dog to discover he was still on his leash; it was the neighbor's dog who had escaped from his house and tracked me down.
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Mar 3, 2016 06:52
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I love how they describe some poo poo that happened to them in real life as averting/subverting well known movie trope no. 9372. I also love that apparently even dogs know that tropers are idiots and should be bullied.
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Mar 3, 2016 07:33
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Khazar-khum posted:Rabbit A pattern emerged: tropers are bizarre weirdos.
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Mar 3, 2016 08:26
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cash crab posted:I hate smug "I eat whatever I want and never gain weight" bragging. No one cares but I'm gonna post about it regardless.
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Mar 3, 2016 09:57
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canyoneer posted:today someone at work shared the story with a bunch of people about his wife working at the hospital and encountering a "La-A" pronounced Ladasha. The same thing happened to me! I hate that loving story, I've heard it at like five different jobs
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Mar 3, 2016 23:10
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My aunt, who is a nurse, tells that story about the twins Orangjello (o-RAHN-je-lo) and Lemonjello (le-MON-je-lo). Here's an 99-year-old version of the "black people give kids funny medical names" story, courtesy of Snopes.com: Carleton B. Case, "A Little Nonsense" posted:A young woman in Central Park overheard an old negress call to a pickaninny: "Come heah, Exy, Exy!"
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Mar 3, 2016 23:21
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Pththya-lyi posted:My aunt, who is a nurse, tells that story about the twins Orangjello (o-RAHN-je-lo) and Lemonjello (le-MON-je-lo). poo poo that did happen: 138 babies named Latrina born in 1974.
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Mar 3, 2016 23:34
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Pththya-lyi posted:My aunt, who is a nurse, tells that story about the twins Orangjello (o-RAHN-je-lo) and Lemonjello (le-MON-je-lo). There definitely was a Lemongello, I think he was a baseball player or something. Ima Hogg is the best dumb real name though.
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Mar 4, 2016 00:48
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Tunicate posted:There definitely was a Lemongello, I think he was a baseball player or something. Two, actually. Mark Lemongello played baseball, and Peter Lemongello is a singer.
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Mar 4, 2016 00:57
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Winter Stormer posted:poo poo that did happen: 138 babies named Latrina born in 1974. They changed it from their original choice. (They changed it...to...latrina?) It used to be 'shithouse'.
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Mar 4, 2016 02:07
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kizudarake posted:They changed it from their original choice. *Ahem* Shitousa. It's a girl don't you know.
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Mar 4, 2016 02:24
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kizudarake posted:They changed it from their original choice. Pronounced "shi-THOO-say"
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Mar 4, 2016 02:26
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quote:All right buckle the gently caress up kids, it’s the year 2012 and I’ve just been handed what should be an easy editing gig by my senior editor. It’s a vampire erotica story because one of the final Twilight movies is about to come out, and everything is vampires. Everything. I haven’t edited a single thing in months which isn’t about vampires. I am ready, I can do this. So I open the file and notice there’s a typo in the title, which really should have been my first inkling that something horrendous was about to go down, but you see I’m not quite dead inside yet so I carry on, bushy tailed and bright eyed with my faith in humanity intact. It’ll be dead by page 24, but I don’t know that yet. I’m just editing one more vampire boner fest.
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Mar 4, 2016 02:57
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Mar 4, 2016 03:25
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Mar 4, 2016 04:06
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LibrarianCroaker posted:He’s been “instinctively protecting her from rapists” by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Maybe I'm brain damaged but I actually found that sentence funny. Rest of how that story was written was utter garbage though.
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Mar 4, 2016 05:06
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If you think this "book" didn't happen you are clearly not familiar with fanfiction. 
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Mar 4, 2016 05:31
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Buddy of mine had an editing gig and showed me some examples of what they got. "No one would write that" is no longer a phrase in my vocabulary. It was a vanity publisher, too. Like half their business model is serving as the last resort of authors who got their poo poo rejected by every other publisher under the sun.
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Mar 4, 2016 12:21
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This one I can sort of believe, because Supernatural fans are batshit insane, but it's always a 'friend'. What a boring thing to lie about. 
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Mar 4, 2016 13:55
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SEX BURRITO posted:This one I can sort of believe, because Supernatural fans are batshit insane, but it's always a 'friend'. What a boring thing to lie about. People with high pain tolerances: fire fighters, mma fighters, supernatural watching nerds
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Mar 4, 2016 15:39
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Zelder posted:People with high pain tolerances: fire fighters, mma fighters, supernatural watching nerds Making it through eleven seasons of Supernatural is incredibly painful so this checks out.
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Mar 4, 2016 15:45
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Stranger things have happened. When I was five or so, my parents had some friends over for a party one night. I was sent to bed shortly after the guests arrived, but I was still pretty wound up, so I started jumping on my bed. I slipped, landed against the footboard, and broke my arm. Knowing something was wrong, but not being in a ton of pain, I wandered back out to the party to tell my parents what had happened. They were approximately two sheets to the wind at that point and thought I was just trying to get attention and stay up later, which, to be fair, I had already done at several points that night. I realized the situation was hopeless and went back to bed. The next morning, I told my very hungover mother that my arm still hurt. She took one look at it, realized I hadn't been lying, and drove me to the hospital. The fact that it had taken her so long to get me there, combined with the fact that she probably reeked of booze from the party the night before, meant CPS got called on her  I guess my point is that if a five year old girl can go to sleep with a broken arm, a Supernatural fan can probably wait til her show's over, though at that point she should probably have known better. Crow Jane has a new favorite as of 16:00 on Mar 4, 2016 |
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Mar 4, 2016 15:58
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I had a flashback of that time in my life when I was unemployed (for 6 looooong months) and one day I decided to go for a jog at my favorite trails. During my jog the clouds rolled in during what felt like out of nowhere, it started raining and I realized I took a wrong turn at the trail and was lost. I seriously started to freak out (like everything else in my life) and my panic was preventing me from moving and finding my way out of the woods (pun intended). It all came down on me at once: I fell to the ground and started sobbing. I remember saying "this is literally my life. I am so lost. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I have no reason to be here. I am worthless. I can't even figure out how to get out of these f-ing trails. Thanks for show me what I already knew, God. I am beyond lost ....and I can't do this anymore". But then something happened: I realized that nobody was going to come out of the trees and show me how to get out of there. I was going to have to follow my intuition and go where I thought I should....and trust that it will guide me. And it did. Both that day and in my life today. I'm literally crying tears as I write this right now because it's bringing me back to that feeling- that feeling of total sadness. Lost. Confusion. Truly believing I was worthless. And I feel so bad for that person that I was 3 years ago lost in the woods. Because I know she is capable of loving herself. I know she is capable of waking up everyday loving her life and actually talking kindly to herself. I had had enough after that and took my life into my own hands- I learned the tools I needed to heal my mind from always being afraid and unworthy. I learned how to connect to my intuition and higher-self....and actually trust her. I found my bliss again. And this is what I want SO BADLY for you, too. This is why I do this work every single day. Because nobody deserves to feel that lost. You deserve to wake up happy and like what you see in the mirror- both on the outside and the inside. You deserve to heal from the pain of low self-worth and grow into the person that you are meant to let out from the shadow. You deserve it because you are here on this Earth. You are not here on accident. You are supposed to be here and thrive in your life- you weren't sent here to be miserable and hate yourself. THIS is why I created this 30 Balance + Bliss program. It's so much bigger than a month of working together. This is a program for you to take the first step to saying- YES to yourself. Yes to believing you're worth healing. Yes to believing you're worthy of waking up happy. Yes to find that balance in your mind. This is saying YES to the rest of your life. I did it. Let me show you how to do it, too. 10 spots open for this very affordable 30-day 1:1 Balance + Bliss Coaching Program to do just this. Learn more here: <website of crazy facebook friend>
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Mar 4, 2016 17:17
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resident posted:I had a flashback of that time in my life when I was unemployed (for 6 looooong months) and one day I decided to go for a jog at my favorite trails "Oh, it's a run-of-the-mill inspirational story. Harmless, if a bit cliché. Let's read on and see how Jesus shows her the way out of the woooooooooaaaaaarghHH"
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Mar 4, 2016 17:30
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poo poo that did happen: I was at the climbing gym yesterday, and the random woman my husband was belaying was shrieking with fear on the wall...but she was adamant that she didn't want to come down until she finished the climb. By the time she finally got to the top after 20 minutes or so, her screams had gotten the attention of everyone at the gym. She reached the end of the climb, and the 100 or so people in the room broke into loud cheers and applause. It was the most surreal loving experience of my life. She did not marry me or my husband, though.
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Mar 4, 2016 17:50
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hyperhazard posted:poo poo that did happen: I was at the climbing gym yesterday, and the random woman my husband was belaying was shrieking with fear on the wall...but she was adamant that she didn't want to come down until she finished the climb. By the time she finally got to the top after 20 minutes or so, her screams had gotten the attention of everyone at the gym. She reached the end of the climb, and the 100 or so people in the room broke into loud cheers and applause. It was the most surreal loving experience of my life. Why do you allow your husband to belay strange women in public places?
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Mar 4, 2016 17:53
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Paladinus posted:Why do you allow your husband to belay strange women in public places? We're totally into that swinging climber lifestyle. (Real talk: If you get into climbing, you're gonna end up belaying a lot of strangers. Not everyone comes to the gym with a partner or knows how to belay. Most of them do not scream the entire time.)
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Mar 4, 2016 18:03
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Crow Jane posted:Stranger things have happened. When I was five or so, my parents had some friends over for a party one night. I was sent to bed shortly after the guests arrived, but I was still pretty wound up, so I started jumping on my bed. I slipped, landed against the footboard, and broke my arm. Knowing something was wrong, but not being in a ton of pain, I wandered back out to the party to tell my parents what had happened. They were approximately two sheets to the wind at that point and thought I was just trying to get attention and stay up later, which, to be fair, I had already done at several points that night. I realized the situation was hopeless and went back to bed. The next morning, I told my very hungover mother that my arm still hurt. She took one look at it, realized I hadn't been lying, and drove me to the hospital. The fact that it had taken her so long to get me there, combined with the fact that she probably reeked of booze from the party the night before, meant CPS got called on her I got a knock on my bedroom door at 8am, because turned out he'd actually broken his leg, was now in absolute agony and needed a ride to the hospital because they wouldn't send an ambulance out for him.
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Mar 4, 2016 18:03
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Tunicate posted:There definitely was a Lemongello, I think he was a baseball player or something. *ahem* Minor leaguer Sicnarf Loopstok
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Mar 4, 2016 18:41
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Sicnarf? Seriously? Did his parents lose a bet or something?
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Mar 5, 2016 01:31
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Zamboni_Rodeo posted:Sicnarf? Seriously? Did his parents lose a bet or something? His name was supposed to be Francis Kotspool but the nurse accidentally saw it in a reflection
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Mar 5, 2016 01:34
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Sic narf, bro.
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Mar 5, 2016 01:48
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[sic] narf
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Mar 5, 2016 01:52
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TheKennedys posted:If you think this "book" didn't happen you are clearly not familiar with fanfiction. I believe that story exists exactly as described. I just don't believe the "and then I got this person kicked out of our publishing house, and for being so brave they sent me death threats for a month" part.
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Mar 5, 2016 02:11
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resident posted:
BY ACCIDENT. BY ACCIDENT. gently caress YOU.
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Mar 5, 2016 02:55
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LibrarianCroaker posted:I believe that story exists exactly as described. I just don't believe the "and then I got this person kicked out of our publishing house, and for being so brave they sent me death threats for a month" part. I believe the death threats actually. I got to see a person get verbally assaulted in a Facebook group for indie writers because she dared to clarify her romance novel wasn't trashy in passing. All the romance writers (90% of the group) didn't appreciate being associated with the common perception of romance novels and quickly went from supportive fellow writers to defensive assholes, driving her out of the group. Glad I got off that crazy train as well.
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Mar 5, 2016 03:00
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Mar 5, 2016 03:01
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