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Dusty Lens
Jul 1, 2015

All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

As a member of a nation if you drink coffee in a certain way you're basically a pile of poo poo.

e; I have already ruined this fine page and it was innocent of all wrongdoing.

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Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

MeLKoR posted:



Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, they are on to us. What's the plan for extracting Ben? :derp:



Large crane?





ManSedan
May 7, 2006
Seats 4
So last time I looked into this thing that I threw 25 bones at years ago was when they had that livestream where Chris Roberts couldn't figure out how to play his own game and said the chat was garbage. I think there was also something about the mafia idk. Anyway what's the new hillariousness going on? Any actual, you know, progress.

I like espresso for what it's worth.

Kilmers Elbow
Jun 15, 2012

D_Smart posted:

No. Because I don't owe the world $109M. I own my company 100%. I'm married to a psychologist/therapist (also an ex-actress btw) who is way hotter than that hag.

Your move.

Tokamak
Dec 22, 2004


I'm sure they are going to get right on this after implementing VR, Linux port, mantle, DX12, delta updates, procedural birds...

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK
Sep 11, 2001



runsamok posted:



My little old lady cat, when we used to get her hair cut during the summer. She's 21 now, but 15ish in the picture.

THREAD FIXED

this is a good cat with a good haircut

Blunderstorm
Mar 1, 2016

my grandfather just posts and all i got was this lousy joke, so what
Lol at you uppity nancy boys crying over espresso

I take my instant coffee like I take my Internet warlords, black and mediocre

orcinus
Feb 25, 2016

Fun Shoe

Turd Burglar posted:

I take my instant coffee like I take my Internet warlords, black, mediocre and unfinished

A Neurotic Jew
Feb 17, 2012

by exmarx

ManSedan posted:

So last time I looked into this thing that I threw 25 bones at years ago was when they had that livestream where Chris Roberts couldn't figure out how to play his own game and said the chat was garbage. I think there was also something about the mafia idk. Anyway what's the new hillariousness going on? Any actual, you know, progress.

I like espresso for what it's worth.

Cliffsnotes: They cancelled the FPS module and have started stripping features from SC wholesale. The Alpha is more broken than it was when Chris poo poo the bed live. Most of CIG is being devoted to getting the single player campaign out the door but they don't have any showable footage of the game, rumors are that its a late 2017 release at the earliest.

runsamok
Jan 12, 2011

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

this is a good cat with a good haircut

She weighs about 5 pounds, eats every 12 hours & sleeps 22 hours a day on a heating pad. She was born around Christmas 1994 & I got her as a hand me down when she was 7. She sounds like Nanny Fine in cat form & hates my other 3 cats more than anything else in this world. She's cranky & demanding & exceedingly vocal. A little blind, a little deaf, a little bit of dementia. I love her so much & treasure every day I have with her.

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless


CptUnderpants, can't you drop by ones of these days and take a couple of minutes to clear up some things we have been mistaken about? There is no reason your voice should remain silent.

Chin
Dec 12, 2005

GET LOST 2013
-RALPH

A Neurotic Jew posted:

:lol:

this is so great. I hope a great studio is picking him up.
Sean Tracy is not a plucky tech whiz who got caught up in the scam. He's high level, has been around a long time, and seems fine with lying on camera to reinforce the backers' delusions. Dude's complicit.

Unless he goes full whistleblower he should come out of this looking pretty scummy.

Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
It isn't coffee if there is no french press.

PewDewpie or whatever got famous for yelling "RAPE RAPE OMG IT GONNA RAPE ME " while playing games with fright scares. This world is culturaly stunted forever.

On longhair cats, the older they get the less they care about grooming, I think they do it on purpose just to spite. Clippers rule. Lion hair cut cats rule.

Star citizen is er,uhm,hmm this day.

paarp

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Wait, can you buy SQ42 now? I remember they split the packages, but is there a way to buy just SQ42 today?

What do you get? Do they at least call it a pre-order?

starkebn
May 18, 2004

"Oooh, got a little too serious. You okay there, little buddy?"

Lime Tonics posted:

It isn't coffee if there is no french press.

get this weak, grainy poo poo out of this thread

Blunderstorm
Mar 1, 2016

my grandfather just posts and all i got was this lousy joke, so what

starkebn posted:

get this weak, grainy poo poo out of this thread

hey not nice to talk about LOD like that

it has its own thread

Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

starkebn posted:

get this weak, grainy poo poo out of this thread

Drip coffee is for losers. It is what everyone is thinking.

orcinus
Feb 25, 2016

Fun Shoe

Lime Tonics posted:

It isn't coffee if there is no french press.

French press is like turkish coffee, only for pansies.
And without taste.

Blunderstorm
Mar 1, 2016

my grandfather just posts and all i got was this lousy joke, so what

Madcosby posted:

Wait, can you buy SQ42 now? I remember they split the packages, but is there a way to buy just SQ42 today?

What do you get? Do they at least call it a pre-order?

regular "pledge" poo poo

also seems they didn't update their store page cause on the sq42 page it says the game is in alpha lol

also the pc requirements are the vaguest poo poo ever

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Lime Tonics posted:

It isn't coffee if there is no french press.

Uhhh... sorry friend, but unless you completely decant all of the coffee immediately after brewing, the grounds remaining in contact with the water will continue to leach acidity into the coffee.

Aeropress all the way.

Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

Madcosby posted:

Wait, can you buy SQ42 now? I remember they split the packages, but is there a way to buy just SQ42 today?

What do you get? Do they at least call it a pre-order?

Squadron 42 Standalone Pledge

PLEDGE NOW AND GET THE HOLY GHOST MIRACLE WATER!!!111 etc.

VealCutlet
Dec 21, 2015

I am a marketing god, shave that shit

runsamok posted:



My little old lady cat, when we used to get her hair cut during the summer. She's 21 now, but 15ish in the picture.

THREAD FIXED

You've done the Stimperor proud, this is one pussy that should not be shaved.

Kavak
Aug 23, 2009


Posting from page 2294: My first real song edit, Psycho Shitizen! It did not require a lot of changes.

quote:

You can't seem to face up to the facts
You're tense and nervous and ya
Can't relax
You can't play 'cause the code's on fire
Don't fund Chris, he's a real bad writer

Psycho Shitizen,
gently caress this game
pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa parp, better
re re re re refund right away
Psycho Shitizen,
gently caress this game
pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa parp, better
re re re re refund right away

They started Star Marine and didn't even finish it.
Chris is talkin' a lot, but he's not sayin' anything.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
Say something once, why say it again?

Psycho Shitizen,
gently caress this game
pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa parp, better
re re re re refund right away
Psycho Shitizen,
gently caress this game
pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa parp, better
re re re re refund right away

Ce que j'ai fais, ce soir la
Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir la
Realisant mon espoir
Laissez-moi putain finition ... OK
Sandy's vain and Ben is wide
They ban people when they're not polite
THREAD CLOSED!

Psycho Shitizen,
gently caress this game
pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa parp, better
re re re re refund right away
Psycho Shitizen,
gently caress this game
pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa parp, better
re re re re refund right away
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh....

VealCutlet
Dec 21, 2015

I am a marketing god, shave that shit

SomethingJones posted:

Hi Sandi!

How does it feel to be marketing a product that is being surpassed and overtaken in every substantial way by a growing number of titles in the same genre?

You talking about Braben? He has the hairiest johnson on the planet, his games fidelity is like his manhood.

NEXT!

starkebn
May 18, 2004

"Oooh, got a little too serious. You okay there, little buddy?"

Lime Tonics posted:

Drip coffee is for losers. It is what everyone is thinking.

Only americans drink that rubbish

VealCutlet
Dec 21, 2015

I am a marketing god, shave that shit

orcinus posted:

French press is like turkish coffee, only for pansies.
And without taste.

I can speak Turkish.

Merhaba.

VealCutlet
Dec 21, 2015

I am a marketing god, shave that shit


I'm looking at adopting a cat and I think this little guy is the front runner.

Problem is I have commitment issues and no idea of how much effort it will take to care for this little fluff ball (the only thing I care for is me and a few fish).

Help me goons, you're my only hope.

orcinus
Feb 25, 2016

Fun Shoe
Take him, he's cute and fidelitous.

xxEightxx
Mar 5, 2010

Oh, it's true. You are Brock Landers!
Salad Prong

VealCutlet posted:



I'm looking at adopting a cat and I think this little guy is the front runner.

Problem is I have commitment issues and no idea of how much effort it will take to care for this little fluff ball (the only thing I care for is me and a few fish).

Help me goons, you're my only hope.

Name him Star Citizen: Carrier and start a Kickstarter, I bet you could clear 50k before anyone caught on.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


VealCutlet posted:



I'm looking at adopting a cat and I think this little guy is the front runner.

Problem is I have commitment issues and no idea of how much effort it will take to care for this little fluff ball (the only thing I care for is me and a few fish).

Help me goons, you're my only hope.

Kitty is adorbs.

Name him Citizen Cat.

And cats are super easy: Put him in the litter box once. Trained.

Feed and love and let sleep 20 hours per day.

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon
Open Development 101.

Step 1: See what Harebrained Schemes is doing.

Step 2: Go do that.

Example: Their latest update showing off more in one update than CIG has done in a year of ATV.

OMG JPEGS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5OdR033_MI

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

VealCutlet posted:



I'm looking at adopting a cat and I think this little guy is the front runner.

Problem is I have commitment issues and no idea of how much effort it will take to care for this little fluff ball (the only thing I care for is me and a few fish).

Help me goons, you're my only hope.

Shave that pussy.

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde
gonna laugh when veal cutlet is exposed as Sandi Gardiner after she posts that cat on her twitter, and starts claiming she is a puppet master or something

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

MeLKoR posted:

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, they are on to us. What's the plan for extracting Ben? :derp:

We're gonna need a bigger bus.

Haskell9
Sep 23, 2008

post it live
The Great Twist

Ash1138 posted:

This can't be a serious post. I refuse to believe it.

So did I, but the preponderance of the evidence at this point suggests he is legit nuts.

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

...assuming you can get out of the loving bed, you moron.

Hobold
Jan 10, 2012


I love my Cutlass
I love big stompy mechs
I love my HOTAS
I love to salvage wrecks
I love Star Citizen, and all it's craziness
GOONDEYADA, GOONDEYADA, GOONDEYADA
College Slice
gently caress all of you and your lovely coffee talk. Give me some good Turkish tea in those teeny little classes that I feel like I'm going to break just trying to pick them up.

VealCutlet
Dec 21, 2015

I am a marketing god, shave that shit

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

gonna laugh when veal cutlet is exposed as Sandi Gardiner after she posts that cat on her twitter, and starts claiming she is a puppet master or something

I am the puppet master...

orcinus
Feb 25, 2016

Fun Shoe

VealCutlet posted:

I am the puppet master...

I am the or something.

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Mirificus
Oct 29, 2004

Kings need not raise their voices to be heard
Merchantman Trading System: Will it work like this?

Fuzzy Modem posted:

You've been out on the border of Vanduul territory for a week. Your Vanguard, The Lonely Bear , is mostly undamaged save for a short in the sensor computer, but you are all out of ammo, missiles, insta-zum packets, and toilet paper.

Your radar picks up a new signal, and you are about to call back to your gunner, Frank, who is hiding in the head with your dirty magazines again, when the sound of a Banu comm's signal hits you like the song of an ice cream truck on a hot day.

You hail the Merchantman Guillermo Del Toro, and speak to her Captain, who assures you they have a little bit of everything to suit every need. As neither of you have an airlock, you propose a rendezvous on a volcanic moon, roughly 2/3rds of the way from you to the Banu.

It takes a little while to get there, but the system if mostly free of asteroids, so you leave the Bear in the hands of your gunner after he's washed them, and use the time go through inventory and suit up, as the moon doesn't have much in the way of breathable atmosphere.

As you approach the moon, you see the Merchantman has already landed, and you hone in on her signal, taking care to avoid the flammable cloud formations and geyser eruptions. Your gunner gets his helmet on, and reaches for his triple barreled "thunder-whak" rapid fire grenade launcher, when you remind him that weapons aren't allowed aboard the Banu vessel.

You fire ventral thrusters and extend landing gear, touching down a bit farther from the Banu than you'd like. Your tank treads slowly but reliably carry you across the harsh obsidian surface of the small planetoid, and you parallel park with your rear exit ramp facing the Banu's forward entrance ramp.

You open your ramp and quickly close it behind you and Frank, wondering what the interior is going to smell like once the oxygen has replenished. You trot over to the Merchantman, minding the glass stalagmites, and up her ramp to the lift, which opens invitingly.

You remove your helmets and the elevator carries you past the cargo hold (which is locked) and stops before it reaches the upper decks and bridge (which are locked) you step out into the Negotiation Room of the Guillermo Del Toro, where her second in command is waiting for you.

You are sure his Banu features mean to convey genuine hospitality, but you get something of a predatory snake-oil salesman vibe, and counter with the poker face and bearing of a veteran haggler. Frank scratches his rear end.

You look down into the massive cargo hold of the Merchantman and see 31 flavors of cargo container. Battered military grey, scorched industrial yellow, the occasional rusty green of a slave cage, (marked to indicate live cargo) and a plethora of other shapes and colors.

Ammo and missiles are first off the list, and the price seems fair. A little too fair. You decide to slow things down and take a seat, chatting with the Banu about politics, gossip, and a variety of other subjects until he begins to look bored. You mention the short in your sensors and he perks up again, hopping on a console and referencing the part number. He has a workable alternative in stock and a hologram appears at the center of the table. It's a used part from a Freelancer DUR but can be modified to work with your input ports for a fee that's just about unreasonable enough to get your haggle going.

Now that you've established a rapport, it's time to talk food and toilet paper. Most of the rations he's carrying are Vanduul cuisine, which speaks to his purpose in the area. It's inedible for humans as well as horrifying, and the Banu scrolls quickly past it to the Earther fare. Frank salivates at the projected images of protein sandwiches, vitamin crackers and starch bars.

Suddenly you spot something. You ask the Banu to stop and go back, which he does with great theatricality. Limes. Real limes. And two bottles of real Mexican beer, all the way from Earth. They cost you more than you spent on missiles and ammo, but when the Banu offers to throw in the dirty magazines Frank is now flipping through on the holo-viewer, negotiations are concluded.

As the credits are deducted from your account, the Merchantman's massive machinery rumbles to life, rotating and lowering storage containers on a conveyor belt like an old-time juke-box. A Banu crew member in the cargo hold gathers the items on a hand truck and rolls it into the lift, then locks the door behind him. The platform raises and the door opens behind you, revealing all your purchases. You say goodbye and step into the lift.

You practically skip back across the moon's low gravity surface and into The Lonely Bear , while Frank pulls the hand truck. It's wheels both pop along the way, and Frank looks embarrassed after returning it. Your twin engines roar as you take to the sky, a little poorer, but content, and ready to take down some more Vanduul. Frank takes a magazine and moves toward the head, but you hand him the salvaged sensor component and tell him to get to work installing it.

Leaning back in your cockpit seat, you look out at the stars and crack the top off a beer, then slide a fresh juicy lime wedge into the bottle and take a gulp. It's a good day to be in the 'Verse... but you were right, the ships interior really smells like farts now. Next time you trade with the Banu you'll remember to buy some air freshener. drat! You forgot the toilet paper!

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