Dwarf Fortress Arena Challenge: Season 5 - The Road To The Murderbowl!

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Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

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Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.
Antwoman has given birth to a boy.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 19:34

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# ? May 11, 2024 16:18

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

ZeeToo accidentally spawned a sponge man, fight's on hold until that gets resolved.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 19:36

Captaindirtnap: Apr 26, 2012

jon joe posted:

Day 253. Qwarf has successful managed to penetrate Simon Belmole's left hand by flinging his own sweat. Antwoman wakes up her two hundred day coma and proceeds to stub her left toe, passing back out again. Baldwin has been taken by a fey mood.

Day 255.

Manthulzokun, the wrath of ichor.

This is a minotaur bone shield. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is decorated with cow bone and serpent man scales and encircled with bands of dwarf bone and iron. This object menaces with spikes of iron and soldier ant carapace. On the item is a image of Braun Strowman the dwarf and Antwoman the soldier ant woman in cow blood. Braun Strowman is striking down Antwoman.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 20:04

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

Oh poo poo you guys, what if ZeeToo is crafting the fight write-up in a mood and can't find any shells or giant cave spider silk?! This could end very, very poorly.

# ? Mar 10, 2016 20:07

ZeeToo: Feb 20, 2008; I'm a kitty!

This did end very, very poorly.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 01:03

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

ZeeToo, Arena Commissioner, is stricken with melancholy!

# ? Mar 11, 2016 01:13

ZeeToo: Feb 20, 2008; I'm a kitty!

Round 11, Fight 8 :siren:

The Petting Zoo is on the left side of the arena.
Antwoman (Spermy Smurf) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields an iron large dagger, a copper large dagger, and a bronze large dagger and wears an iron helm, a copper mail shirt, copper greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper low boots.
A Lost Cowman (Locomotive breath) is a male minotaur. He is empty handed and wears a silver helm, leather armor, a steel mail shirt, copper greaves, silver gauntlets, and iron low boots.
Simon Belmole (Ablative) is a male molemarian. He wields a copper scourge and wears a copper helm, a copper mail shirt, and copper high boots.
Stephen Harper (ChickenWing) is a male serpent man. He wields a silver war hammer and a wooden shield and wears leather gauntlets and leather high boots.

Subterranean Animists is on the right side of the arena.
Braun Strowman (Frozen_Flame) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields three copper short swords and wears an iron helm, two copper mail shirts, iron leggings, and iron gauntlets.
Baldwin (captaindirtnap) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, iron gauntlets, and steel low boots.
Qwarf (C7ty1) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron breast plate, iron greaves, and iron gauntlets.
Dusseldwarf (decoy badger) is a female dwarf. She wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears an iron mail shirt, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots.

Subterranean Animists is a 2.99 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 8478.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 2831.00 dwarfbucks for The Petting Zoo.

Classic Cowman. He is in such a hurry he rushes across the midpoint, three spaces faster than Stephen. He takes a wild, missed swing at Braun, then gets stabbed by Qwarf. Good thing for his greaves.

Too far, Cowman. Dusseldwarf stabs him in the neck. He takes merely another bruise. It's a good thing he brought armor. The two fighters with three sharp things apiece consider each other, then Antwoman punches Braun. Good plan.

Time for Cowman to actually fight. He grabs Qwarf by the finger, and throws the dwarf away. In midair, Qwarf is punched in the hand, then he twists to avoid Stephen's attack, bounces adroitly off the floor, and stabs Cowman in the neck. Cowman has his spine torn, then punches back at Qwarf, but Qwarf activates his latent ghostly powers and becomes intangible to the attack. Cowman is still holding on tight, though, so he yanks Qwarf to the ground with the same finger.

Meanwhile, Braun stabs Antwoman in the thorax. Braun has also had a broken neck from Simon's scourge, but it doesn't seem to be bothering him any. Qwarf takes a stab from Antwoman, then a stomach blow from Stephen.

Twice, Simon lashes Braun. Dwarven chitin snaps, a leg gives out, and her guts are bruised. She's not doing well. Stephen flattens Qwarf's foot, and Qwarf checks out. Antwoman charges at Dusseldwarf, bounces off... but the dwarf is the only one stunned by that. It still gave Stephen a moment to attack Qwarf again, and Qwarf is slain.

Antwoman breaks Baldwin's shin, and Baldwin is out, as well. This has been going one way for a while. Antwoman and Stephen smash on Baldwin for a while, before Antwoman deals him a lethal blow.

Anxious to avoid this being a shut-out, Dusseldwarf stabs the most vulnerable member of the Petting Zoo, the broken-spined Cowman. Cowman catches her spear with his hand, which does not prove any further crippling an attack.

Braun is completely and efficiently surrounded. Simon's scourge scoops out much of her innards. Down she goes. All eyes turn to Dusseldwarf.

And Dusseldwarf has her moment. She is completely unharmed so far. The four members of the Petting Zoo chase her around, anxious to give her no chance to counter them. She proves their equal, for the moment. Her spear flicks out repeatedly, stabbing Cowman and Antwoman. Stephen steps up; all it takes is one bite and the fight is over. Dusseldwarf's spear strikes again. The snake's arm is broken; he drops his hammer and consciousness, his body proving a stumbling block for Antwoman, too. A moment later, Dusseldwarf's spear deals Stephen a lethal blow.

One down.

Simon steps up. The spear breaks his arm and spine. That's crippling. Antwoman executes a flying tackle, knocking Dusseldwarf down and away.

Dusseldwarf's fingers form a claw, and her fingers break through Antwoman's arm chitin. Another scratch, and that's too much. Antwoman gives into pain. Dusseldwarf finishes her with a spear.

Two down.

Dusseldwarf moves onto Cowman, putting a hole in his heart and several others in his limbs.

Suddenly, Dusseldwarf looks far less intimidating, but did she do enough damage already? The mole and minotaur are in terrible shape, and Dusseldwarf is still unscratched. Again and again she stabs Simon, but finally the duo manage to lay a hand on her. Cowman bruises her, then Simon bites Dusseldwarf in the tongue, then rips it bodily out of her mouth.

Dusseldwarf takes this as a cue, and begins biting, too, trying to kill Cowman with her teeth.

Cowman has lost a great number of teeth. There are over half a dozen flying in different directions and arcs and speeds. Dusseldwarf keeps attacking, but somehow Cowman will not die.

Death stalks him, but he stays up. What eventually puts him down is simple exhaustion. Unable to keep exerting himself, Cowman just simply passes out. This gives Dusseldwarf the chance to stab him in the head.

Three down.

Simon and Dusseldwarf remain.

Here are some of Cowman's teeth, which have sunk down beyond the arena borders. Dusseldwarf falls over from exhaustion himself. Somehow, even from there, she keeps stabbing at Simon, doing more damage.

Simon bleeds to death.

Kills
Dusseldwarf: 4
Stephen Harper: 1
Antwoman: 1
Simon Belmole: 1

Combat Log

# ? Mar 11, 2016 01:39

ZeeToo: Feb 20, 2008; I'm a kitty!

The round is over! :siren:

Everyone update your fighters and prepare your new bets for the next round of the tournament.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 01:40

Keru: Aug 2, 2004; 'n suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us 'n the sky was full of what looked like 'uge bats, all swooping 'n screeching 'n divin' around the ute.

Sweet jebus. :stonk:

# ? Mar 11, 2016 01:42

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

quote:

Another scratch, and that's too much. Antwoman gives into pain.

Lol nut up for once you pathetic sack of ichor

# ? Mar 11, 2016 01:47

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

Spermy Smurf, Novice Manager, is stricken with melancholy!

# ? Mar 11, 2016 01:48

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

Dusseldwarf

:stare:

# ? Mar 11, 2016 01:51

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

Spermy Smurf's terrible fighter and the beauty of a martial trance stealing the win from his team yet again aside, am I just confused about the between-round point bonus? I thought it was 50?

# ? Mar 11, 2016 01:51

Frozen_flame: Feb 14, 2012; Press A to Protect Earth!

Oh my god that was nailbiting. What a win.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 01:54

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

Frozen_flame posted:

What a loss.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 01:54

Locomotive breath: Feb 1, 2010

I, as always, blame Spermy for all my teams failings. If he would just cheat and fix our matches, we wouldn't be having this problem. :colbert:

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:01

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

Man, gently caress this game and gently caress all of you.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:06

Captaindirtnap: Apr 26, 2012

Spermy Smurf posted:

Man, gently caress this game and gently caress all of you.

gently caress yeah!

That was beautiful, congrats Decoy.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:08

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

Spermy Smurf posted:

Man, gently caress this game and gently caress all of you.

I doubt you could craft a fighter with the requisite stamina.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:08

Spermy Smurf: Jul 2, 2004

Man, gently caress this game and gently caress all of you.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:15

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

All in on the Plump Helmets.

Fight me, Klokwurk and Tunicate.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:21

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

Go team, I know you can do it!

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:24

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

So really though, someone fill me in on the between-round bonus points? I can't find anything about it in the OP or anywhere.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:27

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

Bad Munki posted:

So really though, someone fill me in on the between-round bonus points? I can't find anything about it in the OP or anywhere.

It's 50 points adjusted by race in some arcane way.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:32

Kinu Nishimura: Apr 24, 2008; SICK LOOT!

Metal.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:32

Ablative: Nov 9, 2012; Someone is getting this as an avatar. I don't know who, but it's gonna happen.

Well played, Dusseldwarf. Well played indeed.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 02:54

Ramc: May 4, 2008; Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

I empathize with having your win stolen by a last minute martial trance.

(But I had bet on the animists)

jon joe posted:

All in on the Plump Helmets.

Smart man.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 03:01

AJ_Impy: Jun 17, 2007; SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?; Yam Slacker

40 kills for the Animists. Forty. Only four gladiators they have faced, in the whole tournament, lived.

End of the round, end of another interdivisional struggle.

Boatmurdered vs Syrupleaf
1 win to 3
6 kills to 13
3 wins to 1
12 kills to 9
2 wins to 2
9 kills to 8
2 wins to 2
9 kills to 9

Series is tied, Syrupleaf take it on kill difference, 39 to 36.

Gemclod vs Bronzestabbed
1 win to 3
6 kills to 13
2 wins to 2
10 kills to 9
1 kill to 3
8 kills to 12
2 wins to 2
12 kills to 9

Bronzestabbed win 10-6, 43 kills to 36.

Syrupleaf tie again, as they did with Gemclod, but this time they edge the tiebreak by +3. Boatmurdered go from wrecking Bronzestabbed to par with Syrupleaf, losing out on kill difference. Bronzestabbed go from victim to victor, though not as comprehensively as their conqueror. Gemclod suffers their wrath.

So, we have an interesting quandry. No division has won two, no division has lost two.

Syrupleaf beat Boatmurdered on a tie, who beat Bronzestabbed comprehensively, who beat Gemclod comprehensively, who beat Syrupleaf on a tie.

Next up is Gemclod vs Boatmurdered and Bronzestabbed vs Syrupleaf. Will Bronzestabbed complete their straight as Syrupleaf collect three of a kind? Can Gemclod comprehensively beat the division that comprehensively beat the division that comprehensively beat them?

Cumulative kills:

Boatmurdered 83
Syrupleaf 77
Gemclod 75
Bronzestabbed 71

Kill leaderboard:

1st: Chaz Steadyfist 20 kills, better than Team Laser Explosion, Quadruple Ace.
2nd=: Dusseldwarf, James Largesausage, In Like Flynn, 16 kills, Division-slayers.
5th: Jimbo Akimbo, 15 kills, better than This Bites, Triple Ace.
6th: Sriracha Fartstorm Returns, 14 kills, better than A Furry, Farmer and 2 Cows.
7th=: 3 Wolf Moon Shirt, Qwarf, Snarls Barkley, 13 kills
10th=: Albrik the Insignificant, Simon Belmole, Stumpy, 11 kills.
13th=: Candy Corn Tiger, Dory, Jakob, Richard Kyanka, Three Gremlins in a Blender, Turquoise Tonic, 10 kills, Double Aces.
19th: Baldwin, 9 kills.

Five on 8 kills.
Five on 7 kills. Better than Lightly Whipped.
Three on 6 kills.
Three on 5 kills. Aces.
Eight on 4 kills.
Four on 3 kills.
Seven on 2 kills.
Six on 1 kill.
Four nameless unblooded.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 03:09

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

Tunicate posted:

It's 50 points adjusted by race in some arcane way.

Oh, it's racially adjusted? Okay, I guess that's why I was confused, since I got 48 this time around. Was thinking I'd gotten 50 before but I guess maybe not.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 03:12

Pickled Tink: Apr 28, 2012; Have you heard about First Dog? It's a very good comic I just love.

Also, wear your bike helmets kids. I copped several blows to the head but my helmet left me totally unscathed.

Finally you should check out First Dog as it's a good comic I like it very much.; Fun Shoe

Tunicate posted:

It's 50 points adjusted by race in some arcane way.

I only get 30 for my yeti, which is kind of annoying because I am pretty sure armour is also more expensive for yetis, so I get dinged twice.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 03:19

ChickenWing: Jul 22, 2010

what

the

gently caress

# ? Mar 11, 2016 03:27

Ramc: May 4, 2008; Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

Pickled Tink posted:

I only get 30 for my yeti, which is kind of annoying because I am pretty sure armour is also more expensive for yetis, so I get dinged twice.

Then don't buy armor!

# ? Mar 11, 2016 03:30

Kinu Nishimura: Apr 24, 2008; SICK LOOT!

AJ_Impy posted:

Seven on 2 kills.

It feels good. I'm gonna buy Apeliminator some ice cream to reward him for finally hitting the big time.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 03:33

AJ_Impy: Jun 17, 2007; SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?; Yam Slacker

alcharagia posted:

It feels good. I'm gonna buy Apeliminator some ice cream to reward him for finally hitting the big time.

Careful now, if the big time hits back, it won't be pretty.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 03:45

Kinu Nishimura: Apr 24, 2008; SICK LOOT!

AJ_Impy posted:

Careful now, if the big time hits back, it won't be pretty.

Eh, he could not get a kill for the rest of the season and I'd be satisfied, really. He did good. :shobon:

# ? Mar 11, 2016 04:05

Ramc: May 4, 2008; Bringing your thread to a screeching halt, guaranteed.

AJ_Impy posted:

End of the round, end of another interdivisional struggle.

How do you see the competition for playoff spots heating up going into the home stretch?

# ? Mar 11, 2016 04:11

AJ_Impy: Jun 17, 2007; SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?; Yam Slacker

Ramc posted:

How do you see the competition for playoff spots heating up going into the home stretch?

Hardest to judge is in Gemclod, with the Petting Zoo and the Skeletons, two inconsistent but potentially powerful teams, level on wins. The key matches will be those two against the Horrorshow, third in Boatmurdered but with a fractionally better record than either. The Pals and Go Big of Bronzestabbed are also contending for what will likely be a single spot when it all goes down.

Worse Munki, the Dentists, the Helmets and the Animists are out in front. Two Chicks W/Dicks are almost there, it depends which of the Gemclod teams show up. If Boatmurdered curbstomps Gemclod, they could potentially end with three teams with top eight records.

In the home/away return fixtures, Skeletons-Zoo and Two Chicks-Horrorshow will be massive.

# ? Mar 11, 2016 04:35

Pickled Tink: Apr 28, 2012; Have you heard about First Dog? It's a very good comic I just love.

Also, wear your bike helmets kids. I copped several blows to the head but my helmet left me totally unscathed.

Finally you should check out First Dog as it's a good comic I like it very much.; Fun Shoe