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maporfic posted:I think my kid is faking being sick to get out of going to school. He's a good kid, but I fear he is starting to really hate school. He's in 7th grade. We want education to be important to our children, what might we do to turn this situation around? I guess this is kind of the reverse of your situation but I was frequently genuinely sick around that time and my mom mostly didn't believe me - take his temperature, tell him if he stays home from school he's going to go see the doctor (and presumably get a shot, if he's not into that kind of thing), and that he'll have to stay in bed and not watch television or play video games, and eat soup and drink water. Basically treat him like a sick person and he'll pretty quickly catch on that it sucks to be sick. Didn't work on me because all I wanted was to stay home and rest until I felt better, but it certainly stopped me from ever faking it.
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Mar 17, 2016 17:05
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My son, at eighteen months, finally slept through the night for the first time. The secret? We forgot to turn on his white noise machine.  He slept twelve hours straight. And now he either wakes up once or not at all, every night, as long as the cursed machine is off.Of course, now the hormones are telling me it's an excellent time to have another baby and start the sleeplessness all over again!
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Mar 18, 2016 02:30
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They're 2, they're 4, they're 6, they're 8 A fight over which pajamas to wear on Pajama Day made us very late
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Mar 18, 2016 17:24
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Daughter (6.5 y/o) and I both needed a vaccine today, and showed up at the vaccine clinic (in our regular medical office building) together today. This was not the pediatrics office but a family medicine clinic - all adults in the waiting room. No appointments necessary. They take the last patient at 4:30 and we come scootching in at 4:20. Handfull of people in the waiting room (maybe 5-10 in a waiting room with 20-25 chairs). There are two people doing check in, receptionist #1 is helping someone and receptionist #2 isn't. He invites us right over and starts checking us in. Daughter tells me in the car on the way over that she has to potty, I tell her that the place takes the last walk-in at 4:30 and it's now 4:20 so we're going to check in first and go potty after, which is opposite of what our normal routine would be. She's cool with that. Standing there checking in, daughter reminds me she has to go potty. I look right and left down the hallway, there is a restroom near the elevator we just exited, 10 or 20 yards down the hallway. She is in Kindy and can read (and likes making a show of it), and I ask her if she sees the sign for the bathroom, and she does, so I send her off to potty while I finish checking us in (which, for any of you who have ever checked in for a medical appointment know means that I have to verify my name, address, birthday, then various trivia regarding my medical record since birth). Daughter heads down hallway and receptionist #1 (whom I am not interacting with at all) says, loudly enough to attract the attention of the whole waiting room, "you can't let her go to the bathroom", so I look at the receptionist. It was ambiguous at that moment, what she meant - that the bathroom was closed, that there wasn't really a bathroom there, that is was restricted for some reason... but the lady does not elaborate and just repeats it, this time louder, and anyone in the waiting area who was briefly napping or someone absorbed in their phone is now paying 100% full attention. So I say "why?" and she lays into me about how her (my daughter's) mom wouldn't approve and if my wife were there she wouldn't let this happen, and... is seriously making a show of it, in front of the patient she is actively checking in as well as (the absolutely silent, devoid of even elevator music) waiting room. So I ask for her name, and, as if it's part of the show, she gets out her badge, and shows it to me, and announces her name (in the same "talking to the whole waiting room" voice), and tells me if I want to complain I should contact (some department name). So I ask my receptionist guy (who looks like he is trying to actually dissolve into the chair in the hopes that he will disappear and this scene will just stop) for a piece of paper, and he slides one over to me, and I take note of her name, and she (thankfully) shuts the gently caress up. Later, when I'm sitting in the waiting room, she calls me over and apologizes, then launches into more of what she was saying, at which point I cut her off and tell her it would be best if I didn't discuss it further right now. Questions for you: 1) Is it out of line to send your 6.5 year old to the bathroom alone in this scenario 2) What would you do, if anything, about the behavior of the receptionist?
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Mar 19, 2016 05:06
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I don't think it's out of line. I don't know what I'd do about the receptionist though.
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Mar 19, 2016 05:11
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Not out of line, come in without your daughter and ask to talk to the clinic manager I have a kid of very similar age and he's more than capable of pointing his equipment in approximately the right direction with a closed stall door
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Mar 19, 2016 06:13
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Kalenn Istarion posted:Not out of line, come in without your daughter and ask to talk to the clinic manager I'm guessing the lady's train of thought was more about the child's safety than ability to pee on her own. Not too say she was right in how she did it, but some people can get really scared about what could happen to your kid if you take your eyes off of them for a few seconds. (E.g. "what if there's a drug addict shooting up in the washroom as they walk in")
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Mar 19, 2016 06:27
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rgocs posted:I'm guessing the lady's train of thought was more about the child's safety than ability to pee on her own. Not too say she was right in how she did it, but some people can get really scared about what could happen to your kid if you take your eyes off of them for a few seconds. (E.g. "what if there's a drug addict shooting up in the washroom as they walk in") I was mildly buzzed when I wrote that so the meaning didn't come quite through  The point I was trying to make was what you highlighted - you've made the decision around what you're comfortable with, she needs to gently caress off.
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Mar 19, 2016 11:24
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photomikey posted:Questions for you: This is how we end up with lines of SUV's idling at the end of a suburban dead end street, waiting to drive their kids home from the bus stop. Because everyone is afraid if THEY don't do it, they'll be the "bad parents", so they follow along with what the most neurotic are doing. I'd be more worried my child heard her and is now going to be afraid to go to the bathroom on their own because some nurse stuck her nose where she shouldn't have. That's why I'd talk to the supervisor.
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Mar 19, 2016 16:14
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photomikey posted:1) Is it out of line to send your 6.5 year old to the bathroom alone in this scenario 1) No, not at all. I'd have done the same thing, and have done the same type of thing. (Mine are newly turned 5, and almost 8.) I don't trust the 5 y.o. to go to the bathroom by himself, but that's because he's a goon and will dick around and lock himself in the stall, pee errantly, wash his hands forever, etc... But the 7 y.o. has been being sent to public bathrooms by himself for a while now. I wait near by, outside, and he knows that he is to do his business, wash, and come back out straight away. I routinely send them both to drinking fountains that are nearby in public places, and they go get drinks and come right back. They both just did it this morning at a crowded farmer's market. We have to parent on balance, and fight our urges to helicopter (everything sudont said), or poo poo gets ridiculous. The 7 y.o. gets off the bus and has to walk up the street to get home--I leave the garage open so he can get in easily, and that's it. I don't give his abject safety a second thought in that situation. He knows how to cross the (albeit quiet, suburban) street, and comes home. 2) I would absolutely have a word with the clinic manager (or whomever is directly in charge) about her behavior. Couch it like, you know she had your daughter's best interest in mind, but you had it well under control and the loud public shaming was way out of line. Hell, depending on what kind of day I was having, I would have shown less restraint in the heat of the moment than you did. She was out of line. If she had any concerns about what you were doing, she should have spoken to you privately--with kindness and respect. The "her mom wouldn't approve" bit was especially grating. There's no need to go all, "moms know best" on a dad like that. That's bullshit. I guarantee everyone there that bore witness was dying inside for you, and maybe even thinking twice about coming back--lest they be the target next time.
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Mar 19, 2016 18:04
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My 5 year old is now keenly aware of being in the women's restroom versus being in the men's room, and if I have my hands full with his younger siblings or we are somewhere like Disneyland I send him in to the men's room on his own. The first few times I have been worried for him, but he still pees on the toilet so he's not standing at a urinal with strange dudes. Once he masters peeing into a urinal (he likes to pull his pants all the way down to pee, so we have some work to do...) I'll make sure he knows proper bathroom interactions.
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Mar 19, 2016 19:53
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I have never been so pissed in a public setting. I really held myself together because I think I couldn't process it all so fast. I went and sat down and just seethed, and she called me over a few minutes later - she immediately apologized (good impulse) and then launched into why she said what she said - I cut her off and started to read her the riot act, and managed to pull myself together again and STFU. I will say that when I started to go off on her she didn't try and interrupt or anything, she looked like maybe it was setting in what had happened and she was really embarrassed. I just don't know what my next move is. The nurse who did my shots told me to call "Member Services"; he said that if you file a complaint with them, it's quite serious. My goal here isn't really to get her fired, it's that maybe she could learn a little bit about proper human interaction and that maybe dads are parents too. I don't know how to go about that. I told the lady that if she could track down her supervisor that the three of us could have a little chat together, but the supervisor had gone home (which I verified through someone else).
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Mar 19, 2016 23:25
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My almost-four-year-old daughter is quite independent and will just head into the women's restroom of her own accord. I try to hang around outside and occasionally have the awkward moment of hoping there are no other women in the restroom and peeking my head in to ask if my daughter's okay. She's actually really good about doing it all herself with no supervision, she just can't always reach the sink to wash up, so I try to help her with that. By 6? I'll be sitting over here looking at my phone and just don't dawdle please.
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Mar 20, 2016 00:08
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photomikey posted:I have never been so pissed in a public setting. I really held myself together because I think I couldn't process it all so fast. I went and sat down and just seethed, and she called me over a few minutes later - she immediately apologized (good impulse) and then launched into why she said what she said - I cut her off and started to read her the riot act, and managed to pull myself together again and STFU. I will say that when I started to go off on her she didn't try and interrupt or anything, she looked like maybe it was setting in what had happened and she was really embarrassed. I work in a large outpatient medical group and at least here she wouldn't get fired for this if it's a first time thing, She would most likely get a written warning and a talking to. I'd report it, they should take something like this seriously, I know we would.
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Mar 20, 2016 01:10
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Bathroom down the hallway? gently caress, my oldest has been allowed to walk home from school by himself since he was six and a half. About 1.5 kilometers.
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Mar 20, 2016 13:24
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Agree, I let my kid walk the fairly-short distance home when I knew she could handle it(7 or so for her I think) Screw whatever people think. I would report her. I wouldn't think she'd get fired, but should have a good talking to and a warning. They don't know you, what might be going on with you, and they shouldn't be taking their bad day out on random patients. If someone said that crap to my partner while he was there with our daughter, I would probably be more pissed than him. Big Bug Hug fucked around with this message at 14:10 on Mar 20, 2016 |
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Mar 20, 2016 14:05
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quote:how her (my daughter's) mom wouldn't approve and if my wife were there she wouldn't let this happen This is completely inappropriate and is worth filing a complaint on its own. What if mom is dead or simply not part of the family?
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Mar 21, 2016 17:33
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flashy_mcflash posted:This is completely inappropriate and is worth filing a complaint on its own. What if mom is dead or simply not part of the family? What if mom's alive and well and I'm still married to her and we had breakfast this morning and we'll have dinner this evening and regardless of any of that I am a loving parent too, completely able to make simple parenting decisions like when and where my daughter can take a leak? This is the most infuriating part of the whole thing to me.
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Mar 21, 2016 20:29
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People say to treasure the first few months. gently caress that. I'll treasure him a lot more when he's not keeping us up until 2:00am crying at every little thing  I shouldn't be so frustrated but I am. Is it normal for a ~ 1 month old to just decide 9:00pm-2:00am is his awake time and sleep like the dead the rest of the time?
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Mar 21, 2016 20:33
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Irritated Goat posted:People say to treasure the first few months. gently caress that. I'll treasure him a lot more when he's not keeping us up until 2:00am crying at every little thing For the first part, I'm right there with you. I'm still not 100% in love with our 5-month-old, but it's a helluva lot better than it was a couple months ago. For the second part, I'd say probably not normal, but I have a sample size of 1 so YMMV.
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Mar 21, 2016 20:36
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I'm starting to read parenting books (still 4 months out). Any thoughts on Waldorf vs Montessori, is the extra money for those preschools worth it? At home I'm thinking about doing a Montessori bedroom for the baby, but with less restrictive rules on the toys. I picked up these books so far: The Joyful Child Montessori from the Start You are your child's first teacher
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Mar 21, 2016 20:39
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Irritated Goat posted:
Yep.
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Mar 21, 2016 21:22
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Irritated Goat posted:People say to treasure the first few months. gently caress that. I'll treasure him a lot more when he's not keeping us up until 2:00am crying at every little thing A baby NOT sleeping normal at that age is the single most normal thing that will happen  . And yeah once Nora got out of the meatloaf stage it's so much more fun. I mean it has an infinite amount of challenges that will exhaust you to the core more than any lack of sleep ever could... but it's fantastic! We're currently dealing with: Tantrums - don't get what you want the MILLISECOND you ask for it? It's face down on the floor (licking it which is gross but whatever) and screaming. Oh that thing you wanted is sitting right beside your face now? Too bad I asked for it two seconds ago... now I don't want it. "No" - she doesn't say yes or no yet, but she shakes her head no and says "stop" for both stop and no. Potty Training - I actually feel like we're getting a good jump on this. She's 19 months and we started introducing the potty at about 14 months. Took about 2 months for her to not cry at the sight of it. Now she will sit on it and knows about peeing/pooping. But can't do it on command (the one time she did pee in the potty we gave her a treat - she still hasn't made that connection yet) obviously because she's freakin' 19 months. However whenever she sits on it, she'll get up and use toilet paper to wipe herself. We didn't even teach her that. She just learned from mom having to let her be in the bathroom with her when she peed all the time when she was younger (and would freak out at being left). Biting and hitting at daycare. She's pretty good with it. The kids ALL bit each other. I mean she comes home from daycare looking like she's been in a prison fight. The caretakers said she doesn't instigate fights, but she's not a pushover. The other day they said Nora was just playing and a boy walked over and bit her just out of the blue. Instead of crying, they said she calmly went and got this little toy guitar and walked over and gave the girl one good smack with it. I was a little mortified but the caretakers were all "hey... she's setting the rules of the floor!" (they don't really let the kids fight club it out, but you get my drift). Not wanting to brush her teeth. Jesus H Christ this is the worst nightly and morning struggle. She does almost everything else loving great, but just will NOT let me brush her teeth well. Standing on everything. She'll find the smallest objects, stack them, and then see if she can get on top and balance. Gives her mom a heartattack. I actually let her when she does it, but kind of guard her to make sure she doesn't have a terrible spill. I'm probably being a bad father, but I want her to not be scared of climbing and balancing and being athletic... so I don't to yank her down every time and eventually make her scared of it. So, she may sleep through the night (and she's the best loving sleeper ever), but I'd wager that her mom and I are ten times more exhausted than those first few months. I love it though... super eager to get home each night and see her and Wednesday is her first easter egg hunt at school. Cant wait to see how that goes. I'm guessing "not well" and "will likely end in tears."
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Mar 21, 2016 22:02
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BonoMan posted:
We've been dealing with daycare issues ourselves recently. The frustrating part is I sort of feel like its the daycare's fault and there's not much we can do about it. I'm trying hard to be objective and not think that my kid can do no wrong. Its frustrating when you really have no other options for childcare. Jasper is in the young 3's room currently. Thankfully he'll be graduating to the middle 3'd room at the end of the month or next month. Out of the blue the daycare workers started telling us Jasper has been having problems with his hands (IE keeping his hands off of other kids) My husband is primarily the one that they've been talking to about this. He asked them if he's hurting anyone or what exactly they mean. They clarified that out of the 15 kids in the room, 13 are over-energetic boys and it can cause trouble. He never starts anything or actually hurts any of the other kids, but if another kid does something to him he'll pin them to the ground and not let them up. Part of me thinks its hilarious because he's the smallest boy in the room. There's one kid in his room who is already a bully. He's about the size of a 5 year old. My husband and I have both witnessed this kid bullying other kids. We've seen him walk up to a random kid and smack them in the back of the head and when said bully gets in trouble HE"S the one that starts crying and throwing a fit. We've been working with him about if someone is being mean, you go talk to the teacher. Its sort of hard to feel bad if its this big bully picking on him for no reason and he's just neutralizing the situation.
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Mar 21, 2016 22:18
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Irritated Goat posted:People say to treasure the first few months. gently caress that. I'll treasure him a lot more when he's not keeping us up until 2:00am crying at every little thing Very normal. Remember that the mini you was stuck in a cramped dark bag for 9 months and so doesn't really know it's supposed to only move around when the larger people do Just be as consistent as possible with your schedule and they'll adjust eventually
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Mar 22, 2016 05:50
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Irritated Goat posted:People say to treasure the first few months. gently caress that. I'll treasure him a lot more when he's not keeping us up until 2:00am crying at every little thing Yeah, with newborns and sleep, it's a total crapshoot. I haaaaaaaated the first three months, all we did was waddle around with an angry baby in a sling and argue about idiotic poo poo. Hang in there, it's okay to feel awful too.
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Mar 22, 2016 10:50
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My daughter just started preschool last month, and I appreciate a lot of the good things that the school does but a couple of little things are really starting to get to me. The school really encourages healthy eating, which I agree and support. My daughter usually has a veggie, 2 pieces of fruit and a sandwich. I don't expect her to eat it all, but I like a bit of variety. Anyways, the other day I didn't get time to go by the supermarket and so we didn't have any fruit. I packed her usually snack: carrot sticks with hummus, with a sandwich for lunch. Then on a quick last minute decisions, I went and placed a couple of marshmallows in the box. When I come home from work I noticed that the marshmallows were still there, and when I asked why my daughter mentioned that her teacher had told her that "marshmallows are for eating at home". Considering this was the first time my daughter ever took something sweet to school, I thought it was a bit of an overkill but whatever. Then today my husband tells me that my daughter had told him that she didn't eat her cheese sandwich because the teacher had said that she couldn't eat the sandwich until she had eaten her fruit. So my daughter just ate the fruit and didn't eat the sandwich. Which personally doesn't go well with me because I struggle to get her to eat anything other than fruit. She'll eat 6 bananas in a day and not touch a slice of cheese. I know I'm probably exaggerating about this and just not taking it well that someone else gets to tell my little girl what to eat and what not to eat, but come on. Am I crazy for feeling like they're overdoing the healthy eating?
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Mar 22, 2016 14:16
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Kitiara posted:My daughter just started preschool last month, and I appreciate a lot of the good things that the school does but a couple of little things are really starting to get to me. They're probably not overdoing it as much as they have directives until otherwise noted. So if you go talk to them and tell them that it's ok for her to have her sammie before her fruit or whatever, they'll probably be pretty fine with making that change. The marshmallows probably still won't fly, but whatever that's not really a battle worth fighting.
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Mar 22, 2016 14:49
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Irritated Goat posted:People say to treasure the first few months. gently caress that. I'll treasure him a lot more when he's not keeping us up until 2:00am crying at every little thing I'm with you. For me, there was very little to treasure - he was just a little squirming, crying, making GBS threads lump that you couldn't interact with and it was exhausting. Of course we loved him more than anything, but it wasn't much fun at all. It'll be over in a flash, though, and you'll be looking back wistfully on when things were simpler in a year or two 
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Mar 22, 2016 17:33
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Bardeh posted:It'll be over in a flash, though, and you'll be looking back wistfully on when things were simpler in a year or two Babies are cute and all, but to me they're infinitely more tiring than my 2 year old, tantrums and all. I don't look back on any part of that first year with much joy. Of course, there are those who LOVE babies and think that part is their favourite. It's so individual, and you don't have to feel bad about not feeling super happy all the time at any particular stage of parenting.
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Mar 22, 2016 19:17
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That sandwich thing sounds super weird to me. Why on earth would you micro-manage eating like that! (Also that eating order sounds messed to me, what kid doesn't like fruit? It's dessert!) The marshmallow thing I can understand, though. Sweets weren't allowed when I was a kid either. A lot of parents didn't allow sweets on school days and if one kid brings candy everybody will want some, and as the teacher you're now trying to not piss off parents by accidentally letting their offspring have a skittle with lunch, while trying to explain to a bunch of preschoolers why they can't have some but somebody else can.
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Mar 22, 2016 19:55
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I love the baby stage but I think part of it stems from hating pregnancy so much, so the first few months I feel so much happier just because I can actually sleep properly (when I get the chance) and don't have heartburn all the time. No one else I know feels like that though, most people see it as a stage to be endured.
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Mar 22, 2016 19:58
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It depends on your baby. My son was a great sleeper and an all around easy baby. We were still sleep deprived but there wasn't anything above and beyond the normal. We missed out on all the crap my brother and his wife went through (fussy baby, colic, sleep trouble) with their first.
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Mar 22, 2016 21:02
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hookerbot 5000 posted:No one else I know feels like that though, most people see it as a stage to be endured.
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Mar 23, 2016 00:21
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photomikey posted:Also, that stage is hard to remember because of sleep deprivation. This must also be a result of evolution. Ancient human parents who were incapable of forgetting that stage would have resented their offspring for life, eventually neglecting their kids, who in turn would likely not survive, thus removing the inability to forget from the gene pool.
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Mar 23, 2016 00:53
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We got our daughter an exer-saucer about a month ago, and she's already on the 3rd height setting of four. The instructions indicated that the ball of your baby's foot should be on the ground, but not the whole sole of the foot. Why is that? I feel like we'll have gotten less than two months' use out of this rather expensive thing.
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Mar 23, 2016 14:35
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It's so that when they jump/bounce, their full weight isn't coming down on their legs, which are not really capable of carrying that weight yet. If just the ball of their foot is touching the ground, then most of their weight is being caught by the saucer, as designed. If you think about it, you wouldn't just drop your kid from the bounce height and expect them to stick the landing, right? Also, having the full foot on the ground gives your kid more push/leverage, which makes it a little more likely that they could rock or even tip the saucer (although I don't think this is very likely). hooah posted:I feel like we'll have gotten less than two months' use out of this rather expensive thing. Welcome to parenthood.  (I recommend buying as much stuff used as you can for the first few years, because kids grow out of everything before their put wear on it for that long)
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Mar 23, 2016 14:43
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Going to one of these in a more affluent area is a great way to get stuff like that: http://www.onceuponachild.com/
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Mar 23, 2016 14:51
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Alterian posted:Going to one of these in a more affluent area is a great way to get stuff like that: This is what I would've said immediately as well. We got a ton of stuff for my son there super cheap. Most we paid for something was $25. This becomes a life saver. I didn't budge on car seat or crib but you could probably find those cheap too
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Mar 23, 2016 15:07
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| # ? May 28, 2024 22:45 |
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Irritated Goat posted:People say to treasure the first few months. gently caress that. I'll treasure him a lot more when he's not keeping us up until 2:00am crying at every little thing Just going to add onto the general support you got. My son is now 6 months old and the first 3 months were not fun. Sure there were some awesome moments, but mostly it was being tired all the time and learning to deal with a ton of things. The past month or two were far more enjoyable, but I still believe that it'll only get more fun as he grows older. But right now his sleep is great and he's always happy so it's nice. Just wish he would be better at being alone and that he could nap in his crib. But anyway, all the little things are much easier to deal with once you get 6+ straight hours of sleep every day.
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Mar 23, 2016 15:21
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