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“It’s not easy to tick me off. I don’t get angry often, but you mess with my wife, you mess with my kids, that’ll do it every time. Donald, you’re a sniveling coward and leave Heidi the hell alone,” / 
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Mar 25, 2016 03:36
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He's absolutely referred to his dong as "the Cruz missile", maybe not out loud, but definitely in his head.
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Mar 25, 2016 03:49
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Ted Cruz and you laughing on the couch, subtly getting closer as you look deeper into his eyes
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Mar 25, 2016 04:03
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You and Cruz go for a bike ride. Later on, you collapse into each other's arms in freshly cut grass
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Mar 25, 2016 04:04
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Ted Cruz kisses you gently on the forehead and leaves. You know he's going back to his wife but you don't mind. You are carrying Ted's child now.
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Mar 25, 2016 04:06
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driving with cruz riding shotgun. as you're talking he throws a bit of sass. 'oh you little bitch' you say to him with a smirk. he bites his lip as he grips your thigh
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Mar 25, 2016 04:06
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Ted comes less and less - in both ways. In an argument he calls you fat and you tell him the truth. He storms out and that's the last you see of presidential hopeful Ted Cruz.
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Mar 25, 2016 04:08
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Ted Cruz is worse at sex than Hillary Clinton
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Mar 25, 2016 04:08
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The child is three now. You practically see his face on every corner and nightly during the mandatory prayer broadcasts.
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Mar 25, 2016 04:09
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An unwed mother they said. Bad for public decency they said. The hood goes over your head and you choke back bitter tears.
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Mar 25, 2016 04:10
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Three Olives posted:Imagine looking up at Ted Cruz, his penis inside of you as he makes his o face, a tonsil stone falls out of his mouth onto your lips as you are thinking "How did this happen?"
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Mar 25, 2016 04:10
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Gonna show her my Ew face
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Mar 25, 2016 04:43
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Do you think Cruz ever hosed a prostitute with that dick-knife thing from seven?
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Mar 25, 2016 04:47
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every plank of ted cruz' platform, every moment of his life, all his oleaginous hypocrisies are devoted to making the handmaid's tale real edit: topical humor (has colin mochrie done anything or does he just have the right face) https://twitter.com/Deadspin/status/713217285817831425 googling indicates he's doing shows in india right now so i guess people just think he looks wrong oystertoadfish has issued a correction as of 05:38 on Mar 25, 2016 |
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Mar 25, 2016 04:52
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Necc0 posted:driving with cruz riding shotgun. as you're talking he throws a bit of sass. 'oh you little bitch' you say to him with a smirk. he bites his lip as he grips your thigh All you had to do was say that you were Cruzing down the street and we would have know what you were talking about.
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Mar 25, 2016 06:03
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Al! posted:An unwed mother they said. Bad for public decency they said. The hood goes over your head and you choke back bitter tears. this was a really good series of posts
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Mar 25, 2016 06:53
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Ted Cruz hosed hell? Yeah probably...
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Mar 25, 2016 07:59
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"I hosed Ted"
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Mar 25, 2016 07:59
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Top Bunk Wanker posted:He's absolutely referred to his dong as "the Cruz missile", maybe not out loud, but definitely in his head.
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Mar 25, 2016 08:03
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im imagining ted cruz taking a leak and making 6 year old jet fighter machine gun noises "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee rat-tatata-t-at-a-tat-a" "heh, hows that for a carpetbomb, heh"
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Mar 25, 2016 08:03
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One of the people cruz allegedly slept with tweeted a picture of a "cruz missile"
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Mar 25, 2016 08:18
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"I hosed Ted"
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Mar 25, 2016 08:22
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Typo posted:"I hosed Ted" gross
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Mar 25, 2016 08:31
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That DICK! posted:Gonna show her my Ew face
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Mar 25, 2016 09:01
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oystertoadfish posted:every plank of ted cruz' platform, every moment of his life, all his oleaginous hypocrisies are devoted to making the handmaid's tale real He's Canadian.
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Mar 25, 2016 12:34
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Despera posted:One of the people cruz allegedly slept with tweeted a picture of a "cruz missile" link
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Mar 25, 2016 12:38
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2016 is the year Cruz got hosed
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Mar 25, 2016 13:10
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I'm just waiting for a similar scandal to happen to Trump and for it to inexplicably make him even more popular.
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Mar 25, 2016 13:13
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Ted made a mess
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Mar 25, 2016 14:09
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Mar 25, 2016 14:19
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Tokamak posted:Ted made a mess a ted cruz santorum
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Mar 25, 2016 14:35
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LoL Republicans
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Mar 25, 2016 14:37
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Did anyone else feel like his response was fake? (I mean more fake than any of the other poo poo he says)
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Mar 25, 2016 14:44
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LITERALL CUCKHOLDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Mar 25, 2016 14:46
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Baloogan posted:LITERALL CUCKHOLDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please Ted leave my wife alone boo hoo hooooooooo
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Mar 25, 2016 14:51
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gently caressTED
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Mar 25, 2016 15:45
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Foreign Born Cute Ted
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Mar 25, 2016 16:15
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https://twitter.com/cass_jens/status/713373356452544512
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Mar 25, 2016 16:38
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Killin_Like_Bronson posted:gently caressTED I much prefer FUCTED As in duct
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Mar 25, 2016 16:39
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| # ? Jun 2, 2024 14:50 |
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https://twitter.com/TheStudyofEric/status/713375200411123712
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Mar 25, 2016 16:54
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