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This is a thread for all sorts of jokes! Joke #1: What is the only fish with a cowboy hat and two guns? Billy the Squid Joke #2: What is the only thing no man wants to have, yet no man wants to lose? A lawsuit Joke #3: What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, it just waved |
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Mar 28, 2016 22:26
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| # ? May 21, 2024 20:58 |
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What has six wheels and flies? A garbage truck
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Mar 28, 2016 22:33
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my personal favorite joke (i get a chuckle every time) Where does the three-legged horse live? In the un-stable ---------------- |
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Mar 28, 2016 23:28
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I like my women like I like my Messiah Unable to get up until three days after I nail her |
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Mar 29, 2016 01:01
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Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? Because someone threw a refrigerator at him. |
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Mar 29, 2016 01:11
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Twerkteam Pizza posted:I like my women like I like my Messiah
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Mar 29, 2016 01:12
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how did Jill hurt her wrist helping Jack off a horse ---------------- |
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Mar 29, 2016 12:04
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| Squid aren't fish. | |
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Mar 29, 2016 12:53
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Here I am. |
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Mar 29, 2016 14:25
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this thread is a joke do super sick ice burns count as jokes?
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Mar 29, 2016 19:25
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MrWillsauce posted:this thread is a joke 
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Mar 30, 2016 13:42
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Bob was in a terrible motorcycle accident and his legs weren’t in great shape, to say the least. After a couple of weeks of therapy, it soon became clear to the Doctor that they were just pushing off the inevitable. Due however, to Bob’s frail condition, the Doctor was afraid to give him the bad news. Instead, he gave the sorry job to Bob’s wife of 40 years, hoping that she would know how to break the bad news to him ever so slowly and gently. “Honey”, said Bob’s wife Eva the next morning, “I’ve got good news and bad news, which one would you like to hear first?” Bob, always in a morbid state, responded in his usual grumpy voice, “what do I care? Just give me the bad news!” “Well dear,” said Eva cupping Bob’s hand with her two hands, “I hate to have to tell you this, but it seems like your legs are going to have to be taken off.” Bob, barely able to hold his voice from cracking croaked out, “Eva, what’s the good news?” “The good news” said Eva happily, “is that that the gardener that was in here just before, said he may be interested in buying your slippers from you!” |
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Mar 30, 2016 19:58
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what a thigh slapper! |
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Mar 30, 2016 19:58
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not for Bob
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Mar 30, 2016 20:01
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Why did the scarecrow win the award? he was outstanding in his field |
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Mar 30, 2016 21:37
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Laurenz posted:Why did the scarecrow win the award? |
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Mar 31, 2016 04:45
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If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive they would eventually find me attractive. |
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Mar 31, 2016 04:48
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When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, "A very good doctor". |
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Mar 31, 2016 04:49
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on any kind of form that has a field for "sex" I say "yes please"
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Mar 31, 2016 04:55
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A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. "I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. "I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars," the guy says. "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??" "Because the dog's a drat liar. He never did any of that poo poo." Thanks, trying to jack off! He's a good...what does FYAD have, idiot kings? He's cool. If anyone needs a good joke, post in FYAD and ask him for one. ---------------- |
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Mar 31, 2016 04:57
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zidane13 posted:
will do! |
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Mar 31, 2016 05:13
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a grasshopper walks into a bar. the bartender says, "hey, we have a drink named after you!" grasshopper's face lights up and he says "you have a drink named Frank?!" |
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Mar 31, 2016 06:36
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a man walks into a bar. Ouch, he says
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Mar 31, 2016 06:37
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knock knock |
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Mar 31, 2016 09:55
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Looke posted:knock knock who's there ---------------- |
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Mar 31, 2016 09:59
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ChairmanMeow posted:When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, "A very good doctor".
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Mar 31, 2016 15:52
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Did you hear the one about the cowboy who had 97 cows out to pasture? He rounded them up and went home with 100
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Mar 31, 2016 17:35
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blaise rascal posted:Did you hear the one about the cowboy who had 97 cows out to pasture? He rounded them up and went home with 100 I don't believe you.
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Mar 31, 2016 20:04
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What do you call a fast zombie? a zoombie |
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Mar 31, 2016 20:07
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Did you hear about the Polish hockey team? they all drowned during spring training ---------------- |
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Mar 31, 2016 21:25
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the xbox one |
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Mar 31, 2016 21:42
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| # ? May 21, 2024 20:58 |
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Lizard Wizard posted:the xbox one Tell me the one about the xbox |
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Mar 31, 2016 23:25
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