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Khris Kruel posted:I humbly accept my loss and blame the fact I had never read a time travel fiction story and wanted to see what I could do. please do
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 03:19 |
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# ? May 21, 2024 18:07 |
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my next three dome stories will have a on them
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 03:32 |
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Khris Kruel posted:I humbly accept my loss and blame the fact I had never read a time travel fiction story and wanted to see what I could do. How dare you be humble you piece of poo poo
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 03:35 |
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I'm in.
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 03:57 |
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TD CXCI: We Talk Good OK CHUNDERDUDS, LISTEN UP. Your assignment this week is to write some dialogue that doesn't loving suck a giant turd out of a literary butthole. We are focusing on DIALOG this week. Like, the stuff in between still needs to matter, but the person who wins this week will give me the most engaging coversation. There are some contraints your entry must fall in: 1. The entire story must be one conversation between two characters. Your chars can change locations, etc, but it must be one unbroken convo. 2. At least half of your story must be dialog between these two chars. I will loving count, so don't try to scam me. 3. If you have more than two characters, THEY CAN'T loving TALK. 4. You may not use a dialog sentence shorter than 5 words. No "Yeah"s, etc. 5. No cussing. Use personal discretion here. I do not expect you to wrap up a story this week, so vignettes are cool. This is literally just you writing a loving good conversation between two characters. So that you can laser focus on the dialog, you have a small limit of 500 words. I want this poo poo edited. I want it sharp. I want Moonlighting meets Gilmore Girls meets Pulp Fiction. Wordcount: 500 Signup Deadline: Friday, April 1, 23:59 EST Submission Deadline:Sunday, April 3, 23:59 EST A few tips: Don't have characters say their emotions, and don't use words to advance the plot. For example "I can't believe you cheated on me, you jerk!" or "we must get to the movie theater!" are both loving stupid sentences to write. "I'm surprised you could find a floozy without a sense of smell," or "'Ghost' is playing at 10, and if we miss it I'll impale myself on a pottery wheel" are both better, because they tell you the same information but aren't just stating the obvious. These sentences further characterization while imparting information. Also, don't drone on and on and on back and forth. Break it up with actions. Write your story. Hit your story beats, then go back through and start thinking how you can tweak each sentence to say something interesting rather than something obvious. A good sentence will do both. Good luck! Judges: crabrock, ???, ??? Smooth talkers: 00. Jonked who is stupid and signed up early 01. flerp 02. Sitting Here 03. anime was right 04. newtestleper 05. 3.141592653 06. Grizzled Patriarch 07. curlingiron bad suggestions 08. ChairChucker bird story 09. A Classy Ghost 10. Paladinus 11. Lazy Beggar 12. hotsoupdinner 13. Spectres of Autism 14. Carl Killer Miller 15. SteveHarveyOswald 16. Jocoserious 17. sparksbloom 18. Kharmakazy 19. Titus82 no drugs 20. Mercedes far away 21. Thranguy new experience 22. Killer-of-Lawyers 23. Tyrannosaurus 24. Ironic Twist bad news 25. Kaishai crabrock fucked around with this message at 03:35 on Apr 4, 2016 |
# ? Mar 29, 2016 04:30 |
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yeah im in and also flashing myself: no dogs
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 04:34 |
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im in dickshits
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 04:36 |
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in this like guiness
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 04:37 |
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Dialogue is something I am not comfortable with, so in
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 04:44 |
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In!
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 05:01 |
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In.
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 05:17 |
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This sounds fun. In, and I'd like a flash rule.
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 05:25 |
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In and a flash rule please.
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 07:52 |
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Chairchucker posted:In and a flash rule please. your story has a bird in it, but it's not one of the speaking characters. however it can violate the normal restrictions and say some words if you want.
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 08:19 |
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crabrock posted:your story has a bird in it, but it's not one of the speaking characters. however it can violate the normal restrictions and say some words if you want. thats a good flash rule for a CLOWN to give in
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 11:10 |
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'You know, some people say my dialogues suck the least', he half-said half-screamed in a shrill voice with all possible speech impediments.
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 11:27 |
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"In."
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 13:23 |
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In.
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 16:42 |
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I have just been informed that Spectres of Autism wants in, though he doesn't have forums access at this moment.
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 16:47 |
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Grizzled Patriarch posted:Results! Thanks as always. More motivation to wreck this guy in our brawl. Edit: IN IN IN
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 19:21 |
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I am in.
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 20:54 |
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In.
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 20:58 |
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curlingiron posted:I'd like a flash rule. [at least] one of your characters must give bad suggestions
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# ? Mar 29, 2016 23:29 |
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In.
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 03:08 |
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BRAWL vs newtestleper, judged on by sebmojo: 'First Flight of the Kormorans' (482 words) The regal kormoran nests on a plateau about five hundred feet from the warm Pacific surrounded by a dense, dangerous grassland . We have identified a classic nest with the father departed, the mother literally ruling the roost, and gaggle of fledgling birds, flapping their tiny wings, following their matron. We've followed it from the first branch laid down. Early on, they were almost indistinguishable from pigeons, a cluster of cheepingly adorable hungry gullets in a nest built from small sticks and, clearly, the lifeblood of their mother. As the hatchlings grew and left their nest, our crew fell in love with two. Julian had a gorgeous tuft of feathers just above his beak and Ricky wandered dumbly around the peak with ignorant impunity. As Julian grew, his fellow hatchlings followed him across and around. He was a strutter. Ricky grew fat and sat near his nest, still full of eggshells. Their maturity was, however, mirrored below. Just as it was the season for the kormoran hatchlings' first flight, it was time for the shade fox kits' first meals. Their fur had just begun to redden. The cubs crept clumsily through the grass below. They'd learn to hunt as their prey learned to fly. When their mother hen deemed it appropriate, she marshalled the hatchlings into a stiff line at the side of their cliff home. Her walk morphed from a casual waddle into a near-perfect Patton. She marched the line, from end to end then paused briefly, planted one webbed foot on clumsy Ricky, then kicked her child off the cliff. Our hearts stopped as he tumbled, turning end-over-end for a second that to us, a crew who had watched him hatch, felt like an eternity. Then, instinct kicked. Little Ricky's wings seemed to burst from his body. The first flap was uncoordinated and unsure, the second more sure, and the third in harmony. As the fox kits yipped, Ricky crossed the plain. We watched and waited as he hit the water, going under entirely and disappearing. Yet, we couldn't focus on the churning waters long as our bold friend Julian was booted from the cliff. He tumbled like Ricky, though his wings unfurled a moment later than his brother's. As he began his first flight, a pit opened in my stomach: only one of his wings had opened. Two hundred feet from the water, he hit the plain and tumbled violently. We learned then that kormorans can run, but foxes run much faster. Julian had taken a dozen steps before the kits, having slavered for weeks, were upon him. We looked on, tears in our eyes, as our tiny friend was consumed. Then, we noticed that Ricky had bobbed to the surface. He could swim and the foxes could not. The mother hen continued to kick hatchlings from the ledge as Ricky swam victoriously, having survived the flight of the kormorans.
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 04:35 |
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edited out.
newtestleper fucked around with this message at 11:36 on Jan 7, 2017 |
# ? Mar 30, 2016 05:18 |
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Anybody up for a crit for crit on week CXC?
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 05:56 |
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skwidmonster posted:Anybody up for a crit for crit on week CXC? me! me! pick me!
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 05:59 |
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judgment These were both riddled with irritating flaws, crappy punctuation mistakes and way too many adverbs. But one of them delivered a jumbled mound of (mildly engaging) story bits with the wrappers and price tags still on and the other actually built me a little story house in a few hundred words. Newt takes it with a metre or two to spare.
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 06:00 |
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sebmojo posted:
terrible judging! I can only find one adverb in my whole story! (I'll grant you the irritating errors and punctuation)
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 06:22 |
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newtestleper posted:terrible judging! I can only find one adverb in my whole story! It was a really bad one.
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 07:31 |
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newtestleper posted:terrible judging! I can only find one adverb in my whole story! I just woke up so i probably missed a few newtestleper posted:was like
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 13:49 |
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If those count as adverbs, then the guidance to avoid using adverbs is useless garbage and should be ignored by everyone.
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 13:58 |
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How Can Adverbs Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 14:07 |
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i wasn't passing any judgement on whether or not they were appropriate, just fact checking that he "only used 1." PANTS ON FIRE
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 14:12 |
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flerp posted:me! me! pick me! Done and done
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 14:58 |
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Tyrannosaurus posted:How Can Adverbs Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real? Where we're going, we don't need adverbs Edit: anyone with a high tolerance for poo poo mind critting my last 2 subs? The brawl entry and the 3-part flash fiction from last week, or either, or both, or just send me a word doc that says 'gently caress you' in 40 point Arial. Carl Killer Miller fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Mar 30, 2016 |
# ? Mar 30, 2016 18:04 |
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Carl Killer Miller posted:Where we're going, we don't need adverbs https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vFOeky9ewLi6RSq4Zv09hWQU0yG1TdZSptu62ZV5TCo/edit?usp=sharing
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 19:43 |
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Carl Killer Miller posted:Where we're going, we don't need adverbs You'll get crits from the judges. Sometimes it takes a while.
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 21:07 |
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# ? May 21, 2024 18:07 |
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A Classy Ghost posted:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vFOeky9ewLi6RSq4Zv09hWQU0yG1TdZSptu62ZV5TCo/edit?usp=sharing I feel really bad for you.
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# ? Mar 30, 2016 21:28 |