shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: TRUE WISDOM FROM WHERE YOU EXPECT IT LEAST. AMEN!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: TRUE WISDOM FROM WHERE YOU EXPECT IT LEAST. AMEN!

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NonzeroCircle: Apr 12, 2010; El Camino

I've heard the phrase "he's gone cuckoo" a fair few times but 'cloud cuckoo land' is totally new to me as a lifelong UK dweller.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 18:09

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# ? May 23, 2024 20:51

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

NonzeroCircle posted:

I've heard the phrase "he's gone cuckoo" a fair few times but 'cloud cuckoo land' is totally new to me as a lifelong UK dweller.

Same and in the US. I have never, ever heard or seen "cloud cuckoo land" before reading it yesterday in this very thread.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 18:22

Lady Naga: Apr 25, 2008; Voyons Donc!

Let's all share our personal perspective on what words we may or may not have heard.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 18:28

MariusLecter: Sep 5, 2009; NI MUERTE NI MIEDO

For years I've been under the impression that a ski mask has a big opening over the eyes for snow goggles and the balaclava had the iconic stitched together bit between the eyes.

Wait, this isn't the poo poo you just figured out thread :v:

# ? Mar 30, 2016 18:50

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Judge Tesla posted:

Its the name of a level in Banjo Tooie, Cloud Cuckooland was basically wackyland where nothing made sense.

Its explained better above but the trope name I'm 99% sure comes from the game.

TIL that Aristophanes's favorite video game was Banjo Tooie.

The Greeks really were ahead of their time.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 19:00

RNG: Jul 9, 2009

Lady Naga posted:

Let's all share our personal perspective on what words we may or may not have heard.

Never heard Cloud Cuckooland, been calling it a balaclava since I was a kid.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 19:07

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Wastrel_ posted:

As a teacher, can certainly testify that that poo poo doesn't happen. Furthest we'll go is the occasional idle comment that this or that couple of students might make a good pairing.

me & my coworkers talk about shipping kids

to siberia

# ? Mar 30, 2016 21:09

Alaois: Feb 7, 2012

Lady Naga posted:

Let's all share our personal perspective on what words we may or may not have heard.

People around here don't use kitty corner!

# ? Mar 30, 2016 21:30

oldpainless: Oct 30, 2009; This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲^TM� #ad📢

I call it soda. What do you call it?

# ? Mar 30, 2016 23:03

RareAcumen: Dec 28, 2012

oldpainless posted:

I call it soda. What do you call it?

# ? Mar 30, 2016 23:25

Tardigrade: Jul 13, 2012; Half arthropod, half marshmallow, all cute.

Wastrel_ posted:

As a teacher, can certainly testify that that poo poo doesn't happen. Furthest we'll go is the occasional idle comment that this or that couple of students might make a good pairing.

Why would you want to "pair" students? More like the occasional idle comment that this or that couple of students really should be separated to opposite ends of the classroom because they just won't shut up.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 23:53

veni veni veni: Jun 5, 2005

Lady Naga posted:

Let's all share our personal perspective on what words we may or may not have heard.

How about "The trots" for diarrhea? I heard that one recently.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 01:38

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Lady Naga posted:

Let's all share our personal perspective on what words we may or may not have heard.

OK.

Words I have heard: The, a, cheese, cow, hat, fart, and combine harvester among others

Words I haven't heard: gfkhg, nibbltyfrojkarp, bumblewomper, zigazighaa and dlipweed among others.

I hope that has been both helpful and entertaining.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 02:03

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

stdh: there was a good derail in PYF, whose new forum subtitle is exquisitely apt

quote:

Don�t Mocha Good Sense Of Humor
COFFEE SHOP | OGDEN, UT, USA | AT THE CHECKOUT, AWESOME WORKERS, BIZARRE/SILLY
(I am a frequent customer at this coffee shop, so most of the baristas know me by my order. I go through the drive-thru this time, since it�s a hot summer day, and I have my dog in the car with me.)

Barista: �Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get started for you?�

Me: �A large iced white mocha with hazelnut, please.�

Barista: �Sounds great! I�ll get going on that and have your total at the window!�

(I pull up to the window, and wait for a bit. This shop isn�t known for being fast, but since I�m not in a hurry, I don�t mind. The window opens suddenly. I look up, but there�s no one at the window. Slowly, I see a drink start rising up from behind the counter. The drink slides onto the counter and stops. Then a straw comes flying through the window, and lands on the top of my car. I�m laughing so hard at this point, I can hardly breathe.)

Barista: *slowly rises up from behind the counter, giggling* �That will be [price].�

Me: *laughing as I hand her my card* �That just made my whole day!�

Barista: �I thought you might like it! Have a great day!�

"i have the sense of humor of a 4 month old"

# ? Mar 31, 2016 02:07

cash crab: Apr 5, 2015; all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology

Ha-ha! Object impermanence!

# ? Mar 31, 2016 02:18

veni veni veni: Jun 5, 2005

Good thing they hid the name of the coffee shop, like it's not obviously a Starbucks with that sugar bomb milkshake of a drink.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 04:01

RareAcumen: Dec 28, 2012

sweeperbravo posted:

stdh: there was a good derail in PYF, whose new forum subtitle is exquisitely apt

Post Your Favorite (or Request)?

# ? Mar 31, 2016 05:49

BgRdMchne: Oct 31, 2011

NESguerilla posted:

How about "The trots" for diarrhea? I heard that one recently.

I always just call it "the shits."

# ? Mar 31, 2016 05:51

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

RareAcumen posted:

Post Your Favorite (or Request)?

I missed the part where it got changed back from being "Pedant Wasteland."

# ? Mar 31, 2016 11:31

moerketid: Jul 3, 2012

BgRdMchne posted:

I always just call it "the shits."

My grandpa would call it "a case of the Londons"

For London Blitz :shrug:

# ? Mar 31, 2016 12:40

Creamed Cormp: Jan 8, 2011; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Back when I was training to become a teacher I read about how we're supposed to "couple" kids when they have to work on a project in a team. Obviously putting good students with those who don't do too well is a thing that you can do (within reason obvs) and just letting them pick their partner mostly works (with some caveats, whatever...) and saves you a headache, but I don't ever remember reading anything about making cute couples.

I mean poo poo, I'm gonna be stuck in a room full of horny, hormone overdozing teenagers, the last thing I want is for them to NOT PAY ATTENTION TO THE loving LESSON.

(plot twist, even though I passed my exams I realized teaching wasn't for me and I quit. Would have been a lousy teach anyway)

# ? Mar 31, 2016 22:06

EVG: Dec 17, 2005; If I Saw It, Here's How It Happened.

From a chat earlier tonight:

"I've had enough people want to kick My rear end for good reasons. I had one guy want to kick My rear end, because I'm a "freak", and trust Me, had we traded blows, I would probably not have survived the first blow. There was also no escaping by just walking away. Instead, and I got this idea from someone else that once did it, I grabbed My own head and slammed it into a wall hard enough that I was bleeding at the cheek, turned around, smiled at him, and asked, "Can you do worse?" He backed down.

It sucked, but I'll take the horrible headache over being broken in a ditch."

Yeaaaaaah, sure. Looking back, my favorite bit is that he capitalizes My and Me. He must be Important.

# ? Apr 1, 2016 00:36

LibrarianCroaker: Mar 30, 2010

quote:

This morning, my boyfriend and I went to the deli to get breakfast. On our way out, we saw a girl in front of us who my boyfriend told me he hated. I was shocked because he�s such a sweet person and that isn�t like him so I asked him what happened. He told me she used to make fun of him with her friend and put stuff in his hood when she sat behind him in his junior year chemistry class. I was mad, but, whatever. Nothing I could do about it, right? nope.

Fast forward to later and I�m walking into the indoor pool in my apartment complex with my 6 year old little sister, her friend, my boyfriend, my cousin and my mom and THE LIFEGUARD IS THE GIRL FROM HIS CHEM CLASS. So she�s sitting in the guard chair fully dressed, wearing a North Face and sneakers, reading a book, eating snacks, texting and not paying any attention at all to the pool. ok. bet. These are my babies in the pool and you�re not gonna pay attention? watch. On my way out, i spoke to the lady at the front desk and reported her for negligence. Normally, I would have left it alone because I�m a guard too and I know the struggle of being bored on the job but this was the girl that tormented my boy. So, sorry not sorry. Have fun with unemployment.

# ? Apr 1, 2016 01:20

jodai: Mar 2, 2010; Banging with all due hardness.

So if that lady hadn't picked on her boyfriend, she would have been fine with that level of just straight up not giving a gently caress?

# ? Apr 1, 2016 02:28

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Nah, it just adds to the levels of the humblebragging.

1) I have a boyfriend
2) He is so sweet that I am surprised that he hates another human being
3) Other women are bitches, (not like me)
4) I also used to be a lifeguard because I am virtuous and care for other peoples lives.
5)Take that bitch who upset my boyfriend, I am become vengeance!

# ? Apr 1, 2016 02:47

cash crab: Apr 5, 2015; all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology

Possible reposts of mostly cringey tumblr poo poo YOUR FAVOURITE MMM

I just want to say my least favourite STDH is really bad jokes thinly disguised as dreams people had. Just admit you had a weak joke but you wanted to share it.

# ? Apr 1, 2016 03:19

CROWS EVERYWHERE: Dec 17, 2012; CAW CAW CAW; Dinosaur Gum

Kid was mean to me and/or my SO in middle school? Heck yeah you bet I'm gonna make their life a living hell when we're both grown-rear end adults. How dare you imply I'm a petty vindictive asshat

# ? Apr 1, 2016 03:22

The Shame Boy: Jan 27, 2014; Dead weight, just like this post.

cash crab posted:

Possible reposts of mostly cringey tumblr poo poo YOUR FAVOURITE MMM

I just want to say my least favourite STDH is really bad jokes thinly disguised as dreams people had. Just admit you had a weak joke but you wanted to share it.

Can totally see the second happeing but only because the exchange student is thinking "oh god not another one"

# ? Apr 1, 2016 03:24

LITERALLY A BIRD: Sep 27, 2008; I knew you were trouble
when you flew in

cash crab posted:

And then my sister was brought up on child pornography distribution charges, the end.

# ? Apr 1, 2016 03:29

System Metternich: Feb 28, 2010; But what did he mean by that?

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Kid was mean to me and/or my SO in middle school? Heck yeah you bet I'm gonna make their life a living hell when we're both grown-rear end adults. How dare you imply I'm a petty vindictive asshat

B-but she put things in his hood! :qq:

# ? Apr 1, 2016 03:42

CROWS EVERYWHERE: Dec 17, 2012; CAW CAW CAW; Dinosaur Gum

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

And then my sister was brought up on child pornography distribution charges, the end.

She's going places, all right. Sadly, that place is jail.

# ? Apr 1, 2016 04:27

CROWS EVERYWHERE: Dec 17, 2012; CAW CAW CAW; Dinosaur Gum

Like, even if they were able to argue that a dickpic taken by a 16yo and sent to another 16yo is not child pornography and shouldn't be judged as such, it's still 1) extortion/blackmail and 2) distributing porn without the subject's permission. Both of which are pretty illegal, not to mention downright scummy.

# ? Apr 1, 2016 04:29

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Like, even if they were able to argue that a dickpic taken by a 16yo and sent to another 16yo is not child pornography and shouldn't be judged as such, it's still 1) extortion/blackmail and 2) distributing porn without the subject's permission. Both of which are pretty illegal, not to mention downright scummy.

Dunno about America, but Australia has got new Anti-'revenge porn" laws for just this exact situation.

# ? Apr 1, 2016 05:18

walrusman: Aug 4, 2006

Oregon too, thanks to a chick I knew in high school.

# ? Apr 1, 2016 05:28

My Lovely Horse: Aug 21, 2010

EVG posted:

Yeaaaaaah, sure. Looking back, my favorite bit is that he capitalizes My and Me. He must be Important.

It's just the way he distinguishes himself from Tyler.

# ? Apr 1, 2016 06:41

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

cash crab posted:

Possible reposts of mostly cringey tumblr poo poo YOUR FAVOURITE MMM

I'm guessing she's never met her dad, and that there's never any check to cash.

# ? Apr 1, 2016 06:43

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Why do Americans insist on saying stuff like "ski mask" instead of "balaclava" because the foreigny-sounding word is too intimidating/foreigny? Oh wait I answered my own question

I sincerely hope this poo poo DH because if it is true that's creepy as gently caress.

It's a stupid word and everything you said is stupid and also, as a teacher, no, we don't do that. If anything, we pray everyone stays single so we don't have to break up emotional fights and/or impregnation sessions.

# ? Apr 1, 2016 10:02

A Classy Ghost: Jul 21, 2003; this wine has a fantastic booquet

This recent front page article is relevant: http://www.somethingawful.com/news/livetweet-baby-airplane/

# ? Apr 1, 2016 10:09

CROWS EVERYWHERE: Dec 17, 2012; CAW CAW CAW; Dinosaur Gum

A Classy Ghost posted:

This recent front page article is relevant: http://www.somethingawful.com/news/livetweet-baby-airplane/

I want to believe that this is just a parody of these kind of non-articles... I want to believe... :negative:

# ? Apr 1, 2016 10:49

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# ? May 23, 2024 20:51

A Classy Ghost: Jul 21, 2003; this wine has a fantastic booquet

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

I want to believe that this is just a parody of these kind of non-articles... I want to believe...

unfortunately comedy website Something Awful is known to only post true stories and never any jokes

# ? Apr 1, 2016 11:05

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: TRUE WISDOM FROM WHERE YOU EXPECT IT LEAST. AMEN!

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