terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

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HoboMan: Nov 4, 2010

oh no, it's worse than i could have ever imagined. the files in this project aren't even supposed to run directly but are just there to get pulled from some other program that is not developed internally

maybe i should move this over to the coding horrors thread

# ? Mar 31, 2016 17:12

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# ? May 26, 2024 12:53

Jerry Bindle: May 16, 2003

CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:

I just quit and get another job when I get a merge conflict

i get the same feeling but never get any call backs

# ? Mar 31, 2016 17:19

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

HoboMan posted:

oh no, it's worse than i could have ever imagined. the files in this project aren't even supposed to run directly but are just there to get pulled from some other program that is not developed internally

maybe i should move this over to the coding horrors thread

thats pretty normal dude

# ? Mar 31, 2016 17:19

CRIP EATIN BREAD: Jun 24, 2002; Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T; Soiled Meat

Barnyard Protein posted:

i get the same feeling but never get any call backs

ive been sitting in on interviews and people have worked at banks state they have done development but have "no experience with version control"

:gonk:

# ? Mar 31, 2016 17:24

Jerry Bindle: May 16, 2003

CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:

ive been sitting in on interviews and people have worked at banks state they have done development but have "no experience with version control"

i have experience with git and svn, but not in an environment that has successfully used them as a part of a software development process. i don't feel like thats much better, maybe its worse!

# ? Mar 31, 2016 18:18

Jerry Bindle: May 16, 2003

lol "software development process" as if that is a thing that exists in my life

# ? Mar 31, 2016 18:19

HoboMan: Nov 4, 2010

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

thats pretty normal dude

ok so how do i debug this poo poo then?

# ? Mar 31, 2016 18:21

pointers: Sep 4, 2008

Luigi Thirty posted:

I fall into the "would get shot on sight" provision of the new laws being a liberal (that's what the L stands for right)

this joke pleases me greatly

# ? Mar 31, 2016 18:26

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

Barnyard Protein posted:

lol "software development process" as if that is a thing that exists in my life

"software development lifecycle" (sdlc) has become a big buzzphrase in recent years

# ? Mar 31, 2016 18:27

HoboMan: Nov 4, 2010

DEVOPS

e: not even the people putting that in the job requirements have any idea what it's supposed to mean

HoboMan fucked around with this message at 18:33 on Mar 31, 2016

# ? Mar 31, 2016 18:29

Jerry Bindle: May 16, 2003

i've had stress squirts for so long that i've become deficient in vitamin b12 which has caused nerve pain that radiates from the middle of my back, right behind my heart down through my arms and legs, god i loving hate computers. the idea of interviewing for another computer job and pretending like i give a poo poo is abhorrent

# ? Mar 31, 2016 18:37

Plorkyeran: Mar 22, 2007; To Escape The Shackles Of The Old Forums, We Must Reject The Tribal Negativity He Endorsed

eschaton posted:

how is it cool?

it's just the Windows NT POSIX layer resurrected with some new APIs layered atop it

and actually shipped in a version of the os people other than pirates actually have

# ? Mar 31, 2016 18:39

nexous: Jan 14, 2003; I just want to be pure

Barnyard Protein posted:

i've had stress squirts for so long that i've become deficient in vitamin b12 which has caused nerve pain that radiates from the middle of my back, right behind my heart down through my arms and legs, god i loving hate computers. the idea of interviewing for another computer job and pretending like i give a poo poo is abhorrent

You're me right before I went to the neurologist and he threatened to make me a quadriplegic by pushing gently on my forehead. Now I get to go on disability while they operate on my spine. Greatest day of my life.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 18:45

Jerry Bindle: May 16, 2003

nexous posted:

You're me right before I went to the neurologist and he threatened to make me a quadriplegic by pushing gently on my forehead. Now I get to go on disability while they operate on my spine. Greatest day of my life.

i'm missing something, how would pressing on your forehead make you a quadriplegic?

# ? Mar 31, 2016 18:48

fritz: Jul 26, 2003

Barnyard Protein posted:

i've had stress squirts for so long that i've become deficient in vitamin b12 which has caused nerve pain that radiates from the middle of my back, right behind my heart down through my arms and legs, god i loving hate computers. the idea of interviewing for another computer job and pretending like i give a poo poo is abhorrent

have you tried levsin?

# ? Mar 31, 2016 18:56

nexous: Jan 14, 2003; I just want to be pure

Barnyard Protein posted:

i'm missing something, how would pressing on your forehead make you a quadriplegic?

He was emphasizing how messed up my neck was, and shaming me for not seeing him sooner. Moral of the story is make sure it's b12 deficiency and not something wrong with your spine.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 19:15

oh no blimp issue: Feb 23, 2011

HoboMan posted:

ok so how do i debug this poo poo then?

very carefully

# ? Mar 31, 2016 19:49

oh no blimp issue: Feb 23, 2011

set breakpoints and normal and when you hit that point in the code itll break as normal

# ? Mar 31, 2016 19:49

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

HoboMan posted:

DEVOPS

e: not even the people putting that in the job requirements have any idea what it's supposed to mean

deployment janitor afaik

# ? Mar 31, 2016 19:51

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

devops -> victim

# ? Mar 31, 2016 19:57

JewKiller 3000: Nov 28, 2006; by Lowtax

fritz posted:

have you tried levsin?

i had an old doctor prescribe me this stuff once, it works great, but most doctors i've talked to since have no idea wtf it is

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:01

Finster Dexter: Oct 20, 2014; Beyond is Finster's mad vision of Earth transformed.

CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:

ive been sitting in on interviews and people have worked at banks state they have done development but have "no experience with version control"

I just left a financial industry job. What you describe seems pretty normal. Where do you think I was debugging classic asp/vbscript? That was like 3 months ago.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 20:39

CRIP EATIN BREAD: Jun 24, 2002; Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T; Soiled Meat

Finster Dexter posted:

I just left a financial industry job. What you describe seems pretty normal. Where do you think I was debugging classic asp/vbscript? That was like 3 months ago.

When I did classic ASP/VB6 COM objects it was like 12 years ago and we used visual source safe.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 21:03

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

HoboMan posted:

ok so how do i debug this poo poo then?

if the software youre working with doesnt have a dev kit that lets you debug within it, your options are either to build a test project that mocks the poo poo from that program that your stuff needs to run and then debug within that, or to use the time-honored method of putting a bunch of logging into your code and then running it normally to get the datas. youre working with ancient technology (i know the feeling), so the latter is probably less of a pain in the rear end.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 21:06

Finster Dexter: Oct 20, 2014; Beyond is Finster's mad vision of Earth transformed.

Sometimes the old ways are best

# ? Mar 31, 2016 21:30

HoboMan: Nov 4, 2010

yeah, i broke out notepad to directly edit a dummy copy i snuck into live and logged everything to a file

code:

hello from buttFunctionForButts
fart="smelly"
goodbye from buttFunctionForButts

# ? Mar 31, 2016 22:09

piratepilates: Mar 28, 2004; So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.

HoboMan posted:

a dummy copy i snuck into live

good poo poo my man

# ? Mar 31, 2016 22:16

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

HoboMan posted:

yeah, i broke out notepad to directly edit a dummy copy i snuck into live and logged everything to a file
code:
hello from buttFunctionForButts
fart="smelly"
goodbye from buttFunctionForButts

wait you guys dont have like a test environment or anything? horry cow

# ? Mar 31, 2016 22:45

The Leck: Feb 27, 2001

Soricidus posted:

but why are we talking about linux in the terrible programmers thread? let's talk about terrible programming instead.

for example, right now i'm parsing html with regular expressions

at a previous job, i replaced a big chunk of vb code that was parsing xml without even using regular expressions (like, find the index of the string "<tag>", move forward 5, then read until the index of the string "</tag>") with some library calls. all of a sudden, a lot of weird bugs disappeared!

# ? Mar 31, 2016 23:16

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

The Leck posted:

at a previous job, i replaced a big chunk of vb code that was parsing xml without even using regular expressions (like, find the index of the string "<tag>", move forward 5, then read until the index of the string "</tag>") with some library calls. all of a sudden, a lot of weird bugs disappeared!

guess how eclipse extracts documentation from javadoc output

Soricidus fucked around with this message at 23:45 on Mar 31, 2016

# ? Mar 31, 2016 23:43

Share Bear: Apr 27, 2004

Finster Dexter posted:

I just left a financial industry job. What you describe seems pretty normal. Where do you think I was debugging classic asp/vbscript? That was like 3 months ago.

they usually have a proprietary source control thing that predates svn/git afaik

# ? Apr 1, 2016 00:24

Deep Dish Fuckfest: Sep 6, 2006; Advanced
Computer Touching; Toilet Rascal

HoboMan posted:

yeah, i broke out notepad to directly edit a dummy copy i snuck into live and logged everything to a file

good for you. next time you update your resume, you can add devops. you're a dev and you're loving with ops stuff, so that clears the bar for that

# ? Apr 1, 2016 00:24

HoboMan: Nov 4, 2010

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

wait you guys dont have like a test environment or anything? horry cow

YeOldeButchere posted:

good for you. next time you update your resume, you can add devops. you're a dev and you're loving with ops stuff, so that clears the bar for that

this felt like a hazing ritual.
the ticket was 4 years old.
i was told "good luck" by like five different people when i told them what i was working on.
i had to find the one greybeard who only vaguely remembers working on this project several years ago, from them I at least got the server the poo poo was being hosted on.
after that i needed to get access so i waited until the sys admin was about to go to lunch and then said i needed access to the server to get a copy of the live files. i stalled and was evasive on the followup questions until he gave up and just gave me admin on it.
i spent the rest of the day loving around in notepad and doing student project level debugging.

but hey i found the bug and was hailed as a loving wizard. it was a typo on one line.

i already got assigned three more tickets for this system. :smithicide:

HoboMan fucked around with this message at 01:04 on Apr 1, 2016

# ? Apr 1, 2016 01:02

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

success is always punished

# ? Apr 1, 2016 01:24

Lutha Mahtin: Oct 10, 2010; Your brokebrain sin is absolved...go and shitpost no more!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QM1iUe6IofM

# ? Apr 1, 2016 01:42

ErIog: Jul 11, 2001

HoboMan posted:

the ticket was 4 years old.
i was told "good luck" by like five different people when i told them what i was working on.

i spent the rest of the day loving around in notepad and doing student project level debugging.

but hey i found the bug and was hailed as a loving wizard. it was a typo on one line.

i already got assigned three more tickets for this system.

I don't know what the rest of the dev environment looks like where you are, but it could just be that the past 4 years of activity got stalled out on "how I attach debugger?" whereas you decided to use logical thinking and problem solving skills to actually accomplish something.

Knocking out years old tickets on a system nobody seems to understand or want to work with is one of those things that gets noticed if you have semi-competent management.

# ? Apr 1, 2016 01:45

Finster Dexter: Oct 20, 2014; Beyond is Finster's mad vision of Earth transformed.

ErIog posted:

I don't know what the rest of the dev environment looks like where you are, but it could just be that the past 4 years of activity got stalled out on "how I attach debugger?" whereas you decided to use logical thinking and problem solving skills to actually accomplish something.

Knocking out years old tickets on a system nobody seems to understand or want to work with is one of those things that gets noticed if you have semi-competent management.

Welp, he's doomed

# ? Apr 1, 2016 01:50

JawnV6: Jul 4, 2004; So hot ...

ErIog posted:

Knocking out years old tickets on a system nobody seems to understand or want to work with is one of those things that gets noticed if you have semi-competent management.

yeah, but to anything up to and including semi-competent he's now an irreplaceable expert who can't move to a new system/team or ever be promoted

# ? Apr 1, 2016 01:53

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

ErIog posted:

I don't know what the rest of the dev environment looks like where you are, but it could just be that the past 4 years of activity got stalled out on "how I attach debugger?" whereas you decided to use logical thinking and problem solving skills to actually accomplish something.

Knocking out years old tickets on a system nobody seems to understand or want to work with is one of those things that gets noticed if you have semi-competent management.

the oldest ticket i have assigned to me is 500 days old and the person it was originally assigned to hasn't worked here in at least a year for some dynamic sql nightmare that should probably have specs written by a dba and not a terrible programmer

# ? Apr 1, 2016 01:54

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# ? May 26, 2024 12:53

ErIog: Jul 11, 2001

JawnV6 posted:

yeah, but to anything up to and including semi-competent he's now an irreplaceable expert who can't move to a new system/team or ever be promoted

I said noticed. I didn't say treated well or paid adequately, lol.

# ? Apr 1, 2016 01:56

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

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