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My dorfbux!  This has been a crazy round for upsets.
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Apr 1, 2016 15:42
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Congrats to Tarantino Film! I'm happy for you guys, but what the hell is up with that fight? Two instances of Leather Armor stopping a stab to the guts. Dusseldwarf finally paying for the lack of a helmet this whole time. Way of the Dragon Urist absolutely crushing people through armor. Crazy stuff.
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Apr 1, 2016 15:50
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Captaindirtnap posted:Way of the Dragon Urist absolutely crushing people through armor. Crazy stuff. The punch of Urists to the antwoman head has me scared that Sun Tzu will finally become blooded by punching Antwoman in my fight.
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Apr 1, 2016 15:53
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Spermy Smurf posted:The punch of Urists to the antwoman head has me scared that Sun Tzu will finally become blooded by punching Antwoman in my fight. Imagine the Infinite Shame.
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Apr 1, 2016 15:55
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That clean sweep breaks the Animist's streak of always killing at least one dude per fight, win or lose, too.
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Apr 1, 2016 16:41
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Ramc posted:That clean sweep breaks the Animist's streak of always killing at least one dude per fight, win or lose, too. No it doesn't. The other match they've lost was also a shutout.
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Apr 1, 2016 16:53
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Hahahahaha, yessss, the Arena strikes again.Captaindirtnap posted:Congrats to Tarantino Film! It was actually stopped by the mail shirt above, the log just shows the last armor layer that got in the way of the weapon's attack. So the mail stopped the spear from penetrating, and the leather armor softened the force of impact.
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Apr 1, 2016 16:53
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Ablative posted:No it doesn't. The other match they've lost was also a shutout. I am illiterate and all my posts are procedurally generated by a fully deterministic AI.
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Apr 1, 2016 16:57
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Ramc posted:I am illiterate and all my posts are procedurally generated by a fully deterministic AI. Ditto. I reread my poo poo half the time and wonder what I was even trying to say.
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Apr 1, 2016 17:20
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my dad posted:It was actually stopped by the mail shirt above, the log just shows the last armor layer that got in the way of the weapon's attack. So the mail stopped the spear from penetrating, and the leather armor softened the force of impact. I originally went with Iron Gauntlets this round since Uma's arms tend to get hosed up a lot. I then double checked who was on Animists saw Iron Spears, and quickly switched to an Iron Mail Shirt; seems to have paid off in spades.
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Apr 1, 2016 17:21
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quote:Uma turns her chopped up foot into a diving roll and when she comes to rest Dusseldorfs head slowly slides off of his body. ...and the girl's finally getting good with it! Did not expect that win, especially remembering our performance in the early rounds. Maybe we've finally managed to patch our builds to the point of usefulness, or maybe the shame tickets are working. I R SMART LIKE ROCK posted:I originally went with Iron Gauntlets this round since Uma's arms tend to get hosed up a lot. I then double checked who was on Animists saw Iron Spears, and quickly switched to an Iron Mail Shirt; seems to have paid off in spades.
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Apr 1, 2016 20:04
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 Round 13, Fight 6 The Plump Helmets (8-4) is on the left side of the arena. Dory (my dad) is a female minotaur. She wields two copper spears and wears a bronze cap, leather armor, a bronze mail shirt, bronze gauntlets, and bronze high boots. James LargeSausage (Afriscipio) is a male human. He wields an iron halberd and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, iron leggings, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots. Josie the Bludgeonatrix (Ramc) is a female elf. She wields a copper mace and a wooden shield and wears leather armor, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Return of Panty Thief (Mr. Vile) is a male yeti. He is empty handed and wears a bronze helm, a bronze breast plate, bronze greaves, bronze gauntlets, and bronze low boots. Go big and/or go home (6-6) is on the right side of the arena. Snowshank Redemption (A good poster) is a male yeti. He wields a copper large dagger and wears an iron mail shirt, copper greaves, and copper gauntlets. Tyler Durden is Hobbes (habituallyred) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm and leather armor. 3 Wolf Moon Shirt (iLonie) is a male werewolf. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a leather cap, leather armor, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Slam Whale Willy (potatomanjack) is a male werewolf. He wields a silver mace and a wooden buckler and wears an iron cap, a copper mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots.  The Plump Helmets is a 1.35 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 3843.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 2854.00 dwarfbucks for Go big and/or go home.  Size is definitely bigger on the right, lets see if the weapons and skill can win the day for Plump Helmets.  First blood goes to James Largesausage. Technically it belongs to Snowshank, but teeth go flying due to James' kick. Dory follows that up immediately with a stab to the yeti's hand that breaks the bone.  Snowshank got one attack the whole fight. Dory's next strike chops his right arm to poo poo, and Snowshank passes out.  There is a lot of bruising and dodging, and then James fractures Slam Whale's right arm, and the backswing takes off Hobbes' left hand. That is Slam Whale and Josie stunned.  Slam Whale is in pain from that broken arm.  James brings that huge halberd around once again and Hobbes falls over with his spine broken/severed. Dory chips the bone in his left leg before he hits the floor. James takes off the entire left leg a moment later.  Hobbes bleeds to death after James chops off his hand, then his arm, and then embeds his halberd in the neck for a second time which is cloven asunder.  Dory was having problems breaking through Snowshanks skull, so James helps out by taking the skull off entirely. Down below we've had a lot of bruising, some grabs, some punches, but nothing concrete yet. Josie is having problems breathing with bruised lungs, but that's about all to be honest.  The fighters pair up in two separate 2v1's. James and Dory up top vs 3 Wolf Moon. Josie and Panty down bottom vs Slam Whale. Can either werewolf win despite overwhelming odds?  Slam Whale Willy charges Josie, sending her to the floor stunned. His hammer comes down and shatters her face. He stands over the elf with the killing blow poised, and then gets slammed two tiles backwards by the charging Panty Thief. Slam Whale looks dazed there on the floor. Up top: James and Dory laugh manically while carving up 3 Wolf Moon. Dory_HELM: Death... I am not upset by this. James Largesausage_HELM: Death... The horror consumes me! Okay, I guess only Dory laughs.  James removes his head after 3 Wolf Moon passes out from 'lack of hand' syndrome.  It turns into a 4v1, but Panty Thief hasn't let up since his life-saving charge. Slam Whale Willy has knees and legs bent in all sorts of different directions. He finally passes out from pain before sadistic Dory and lethal James arrive.  Panty Thief bends limbs some more, but James takes splits his head open. The Plump Helmets win with a 4-0 victory. Kills: James: 4 Combat Log 
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Apr 1, 2016 20:13
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Why the gently caress did I bet on Go Big? I think Plump Helmets are going to win it all, and I bet against them? Dumb dumb dumb. Also: Last fight this round is mine, so we'll see if ZeeToo has time to run one this weekend. If not, maybe one of the other guys can do it.
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Apr 1, 2016 20:16
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You bet like Antwoman fights. Poorly, and with many losses.
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Apr 1, 2016 21:32
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It's impossible for me to lose my bet on this next fight though.
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Apr 1, 2016 21:34
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Spermy Smurf posted:It's impossible for me to lose my bet on this next fight though. The way I see it, you lose no matter what.
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Apr 1, 2016 21:36
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Mega dunked. Excellent.
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Apr 1, 2016 22:13
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James Largesausage is now the new king of kills! That clean sweep takes him to an unmatched 21. Maybe Chaz Steadyfist will get over his stage fright now. On the broader picture, Go Big went home having now dropped below the Skeletons on kill difference to hand them that coveted 8th playoff spot. It is ridiculously tight in that midtable brawl, the difference between the Skeletons in 8th and Team Laser Explosion in 9th, with identical win/loss and identical kill difference, goes to the Skeletons' superior kills scored, by two skulls. There is just one fight left this round, but it won't impact the standings, the Zoo will remain in 7th even if they get whitewashed or go on a murder spree.
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Apr 1, 2016 22:16
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I am currently 4th in betting which makes me better than most all of you. Many of you may not have realized this yet, so I'm telling you before This Bites wins and Goatface takes my spot, which will make me 5th overall. Thank you for your time. If you have any further questions about my current standing on the leaderboard I'll be happy to answer them.
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Apr 1, 2016 22:25
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I've had my miraculous win of the round.
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Apr 1, 2016 22:38
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Yeah, that isnt happening. I just realized Eyeteeth doesnt carry any weapons. Our moley will make short work of him. Edit: The strangler has a copper knife. He cant hurt Ant or Cow. I feel much more confident now. Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 23:08 on Apr 1, 2016 |
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Apr 1, 2016 22:49
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Spermy Smurf posted:Edit: The strangler has a copper knife. He cant hurt Ant or Cow. I feel much more confident now. Well, stranglers ARE very strong. Mydad would know for sure, but they might be able to punch through armor on a lucky stab? Also mail shirts have a %% chance of not working, setting you up for RNG dunking.
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Apr 1, 2016 23:52
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Stop it, I was feeling better about Antwoman for a bit.
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Apr 2, 2016 00:10
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Spermy Smurf posted:Stop it, I was feeling better about Antwoman for a bit. Look on the bright side, she's blooded.
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Apr 2, 2016 00:22
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Spermy Smurf posted:Stop it, I was feeling better about Antwoman for a bit. Because you have no skull, just chitin, a punch dude can trivially collapse your head.
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Apr 2, 2016 00:28
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You guys are going to look like idiots when Antwoman 4-0's the opponents while her teammates play hopscotch on their starting tiles.
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Apr 2, 2016 00:39
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AJ_Impy posted:Look on the bright side, she's blooded. Hell, she's second on the team in kills.
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Apr 2, 2016 00:41
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Ablative posted:Hell, she's second on the team in kills. Not to mention a double ace with nearly twice the kills of Lightly Whipped by herself.
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Apr 2, 2016 00:44
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AJ_Impy posted:Not to mention a double ace with nearly twice the kills of Lightly Whipped by herself. To be fair, 2 of those were stolen from Cowman, and one from snakey.
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Apr 2, 2016 00:47
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Cathode Raymond posted:Thank you for your time. If you have any further questions about my current standing on the leaderboard I'll be happy to answer them. Ah, yes. Who is currently directly above you?
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Apr 2, 2016 01:07
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While I don't want to pretend I have any real understanding of the mechanics, I'm pretty confident about this match. I'm looking forward Cowman letting the 
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Apr 2, 2016 02:17
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AJ_Impy posted:James Largesausage is now the new king of kills! That clean sweep takes him to an unmatched 21. Maybe Chaz Steadyfist will get over his stage fright now. Chaz Steadyfist is very graciously ceding the spotlight to some of his less fortunate teammates. What a gentleman.
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Apr 2, 2016 05:29
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AJ_Impy posted:The difference between the Skeletons in 8th and Team Laser Explosion in 9th, with identical win/loss and identical kill difference, goes to the Skeletons' superior kills scored, by two skulls. I got all excited by this as I didn't think Laser Explosion were in with any sort of chance. Then I looked at our remaining scheduled opponents. We aren't.
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Apr 2, 2016 08:09
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Did we win yet?
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Apr 3, 2016 00:26
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Spermy Smurf posted:Did we win yet? No. They ran the fight and you lost.
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Apr 3, 2016 00:44
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Sounds right. Did antwoman die quickly and embarassingly?
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Apr 3, 2016 01:32
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I keep seeing that this thread has 1 new post and getting excited and then it doesn't say 'killed by Zeetoo' and I'm deeply disappointed.
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Apr 3, 2016 01:37
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killed by Zeetoo
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Apr 3, 2016 01:38
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Splode posted:I keep seeing that this thread has 1 new post and getting excited and then it doesn't say 'killed by Zeetoo' and I'm deeply disappointed. Seeing more than one post and the last one being by AJ Impy is usually means a fight too.
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Apr 3, 2016 01:44
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Spermy Smurf posted:Sounds right. Did antwoman die quickly and embarassingly? Emphatically so.
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Apr 3, 2016 01:44
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