Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

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my girlfriend is Legos: Apr 24, 2013

Sillybones posted:

I never thought I would be taking screen caps of forum stuff, but this was a little too wtf for me.

In what reality does this make sense?

Ohhhh, I get it now. They've been making fun of a completely different Derek Smart the whole time

EDIT: I can't access my other cat pictures so I'll just repost this awful picture of the good friend Tjuormas

my girlfriend is Legos fucked around with this message at 18:57 on Apr 3, 2016

# ? Apr 3, 2016 18:53

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# ? May 9, 2024 08:54

Chalks: Sep 30, 2009

Cobblers posted:

http://pastebin.com/G8fNs8dT

You'll laugh, you'll cry, it'll change your life.

Chapter 5 scene 12.3 is my favourite:

quote:

[E1C05S12_3]
[Randall Graves]: ""
[Zeke]: ""
[Randall Graves]: ""
[Steve Colton]: ""
[Randall Graves]: ""
[Steve Colton]: ""
[Randall Graves]: ""
[Steve Colton]: ""
[Randall Graves]: ""

# ? Apr 3, 2016 18:53

Asema: Oct 2, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

somebody tell me the secret i'm impatient and lazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

# ? Apr 3, 2016 18:53

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

MeLKoR posted:

I live in a country where people start drinking 4 espressos a day around age 14, I listen to you gringos talking about this poo poo like it's magic but from my experience I've drank pretty great espressos in bumfuck nowhere taken by the retarded daughter of the illiterate tavern owner. Provided you have a good coffee blend and machine (which your coffee distributor gives you) it's not that hard to make a pretty good espresso.

It used to annoy me, specially since most coffee enthusiasts I've met aren't able to tell the difference. Got a friend with a coffee shop and sometimes he deliberately gives those friends something "wrong" to see if they notice: they don't, unless it's something loving obvious. He does this because they tend to be annoying douches and he wants to out-douche them. Nowadays I just indulge them, their fantasies do indeed make it taste better for them. And if it is more expensive it is even tastier! so my friend is also happy.

As for me? It is cafe con leche all the way (kids are drinking it at age 5). And yes, restaurants use expresso to make it but most people are not into esoteric bullshit about that (it's raining! better adjust for humidity!), it's either good or not good. Guess it is not a serious drink.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 18:55

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

Sillybones posted:

I never thought I would be taking screen caps of forum stuff, but this was a little too wtf for me.

In what reality does this make sense?

In one where Derek and any kind of truth or insight must always be separated, or it would destroy reality as they know it.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 18:55

G0RF: Mar 19, 2015; Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

Not that it matters, but I'm finally back online, have sped read through the thread and even watched the latest execrable Reverse the Verse to be current.

I've not looked at this encrypted mystery thing yet but if anybody wants to PM me to save me additional hassle, it would be appreciated. I'm assuming this is a You must have a Platinum Account to read this message thing; the Derek Smart equivalent of the "Drink your Ovaltine" secret message from Christmas Story.

"It's Over. They're hosed. THE END."

But would be happy to learn otherwise.

Thank you.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 18:55

orcinus: Feb 25, 2016; Fun Shoe

Ragequit posted:

I guess it was pretty loving dumb for him to explicitly say "I gave it to Beer, here you go, also here is some Davinci Code stuff to solve it, lol" then. Pretty easy to tie it to him.

He didn't.
Beer said Derek gave it to him.

Plausible deniability!

# ? Apr 3, 2016 18:56

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

Sunswipe posted:

And lo, the time of waiting was four and ten nights, giveth or taketh a year.

Sounds pretty accurate.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 18:56

orcinus: Feb 25, 2016; Fun Shoe

XK posted:

The first thing I thought of when reading this is when I added lighter fluid into a charcoal grill that wasn't quite started enough. The realization of my mistake was immediate, then seeing the cloud form in front of me, and explode in a fireball as I dove away, cemented the lesson with absolute permanence.

I only use cooking oil, balled-up newspaper, and a chimney starter, to start charcoal grilling anymore. Pro-tip: Lighter fluid sucks, and use chunk charcoal.

Did you lose an eyebrow?

# ? Apr 3, 2016 18:57

Xaerael: Aug 25, 2010; Marching Powder is objectively the worst poster known. He also needs to learn how a keyboard works.

orcinus posted:

They've gotten a bit better in the last few generations (wearing these now: http://www.essilor.med-cis.com/en/Products/PhotochromicLenses/Pages/transitionsVII.aspx) but the scratch resistance still seems to wear out after 2 years and it drives me loving insane, because i can't stand the idea of having a scratch in the lense (even if it's not in my field of vision). Not sure if OCD or just side effects of my photog days from years ago.

That's just wear and tear over time, scratch resistance (proper name: Hard coats) can't wear off, so to speak unless it's a garbage lens. Also, Hard coats are only ever on the front side of lens, since the surfacing process grinds the back surface of a blank away to create the sag that give the lens it's power, and you can't retroactively put a hard coat on a lens, since that is applied in a crazy lab while the lens is in it's blank state.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 18:57

RuckusRouser: Sep 28, 2015; Theres a lot of close ups of landing gear

OK you Johnny Mnemonic-types, how did you figure this out without the page number? Or the people yesterday who got it without the volume number?

# ? Apr 3, 2016 18:58

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Skellybones posted:

I like to think the left one isn't wearing a skirt or sarong but rather just bums around all day in a sagging towel like they just got out of the shower.

I was actually thinking the same thing. Space cats have to be lazy. Can't even be assed to put shirts on. Might sit around all day making expensive coffee until it's time to steal a ship.

Reharakhti posted:

I made some peter gabriel fanart
Hope you see it peter, your videos are the best :3

Haaa I love this

# ? Apr 3, 2016 18:58

G0RF: Mar 19, 2015; Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

By the way, Derek, your presence has been requested at Quarter to Three:

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:01

orcinus: Feb 25, 2016; Fun Shoe

Xaerael posted:

That's just wear and tear over time, scratch resistance (proper name: Hard coats) can't wear off, so to speak unless it's a garbage lens. Also, Hard coats are only ever on the front side of lens, since the surfacing process grinds the back surface of a blank away to create the sag that give the lens it's power, and you can't retroactively put a hard coat on a lens, since that is applied in a crazy lab while the lens is in it's blank state.

I might be completely off on this, but i believe Crizal AR/hard coat is actually applied on both sides, post-ground.
These are polycarbonate high-index lenses we're talking about, BTW, not glass. And very far from cheap.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:02

Galarox: Sep 23, 2015; Fun Shoe

Also could someone give me a link to the orig 4th Stimpire post/text. TIA

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:02

D1E: Nov 25, 2001

Ragequit posted:

I guess it was pretty loving dumb for him to explicitly say "I gave it to Beer, here you go, also here is some Davinci Code stuff to solve it, lol" then. Pretty easy to tie it to him.

I know, right?

And then he later stated he had "plausible deniability".

Derek is just as hosed as CIG.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:04

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

orcinus posted:

Did you lose an eyebrow?

No, I did that once while trying to light a problematic gas furnace, then ending up with the whole room going *fwoom*. The lighter fluid in a hot grill was just a great adrenaline rush and life lesson.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:04

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

G0RF posted:

Not that it matters, but I'm finally back online, have sped read through the thread and even watched the latest execrable Reverse the Verse to be current.

I've not looked at this encrypted mystery thing yet but if anybody wants to PM me to save me additional hassle, it would be appreciated. I'm assuming this is a You must have a Platinum Account to read this message thing; the Derek Smart equivalent of the "Drink your Ovaltine" secret message from Christmas Story.

"It's Over. They're hosed. THE END."

But would be happy to learn otherwise.

Thank you.

Welcome back G0RF. Please check your PMs.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:05

Berious: Nov 13, 2005

D_Smart posted:

I do applaud him for calling me out and coming after me though. Had he not done that, starting from the attempts (they lied) at using PR spin (e.g. the PC Gamer press release they sent out) surrounding my refund, down to the masterpiece clusterfuck that was The Escapist/DSmart diatribe, I won't have paid too much attention to him. He unwittingly set in motion yet another of the biggest gaming industry fiascos of modern times; and with me at the glorious center of it all. Decades from now, when people are talking about the Star Citizen clusterfuck, they will forever have no choice but to mention my name. And that, to me, is the biggest payback in all of this. Then again, I would still love to see someone get jail time from the collapse of this poo poo-show.

Agreed, I'm glad Derek Smart and a dying comedy forum will be written into the annals of gaming history with a fake game company that sells digital pictures of spaceships as their main source of income. The internet is a weird and hilarious place.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:07

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:09

Ragequit: Jun 1, 2006; Lipstick Apathy

orcinus posted:

He didn't.
Beer said Derek gave it to him.

Plausible deniability!

And then he confirmed it.

D_Smart posted:

confirmed

// posting from the past

Whoops!

If I had been told the internet would evolve from ARPANET to Simpsons sound board prank calling via AOL to whatever this poo poo is with people on all sides trying to out idiot each other I never would have believed it. God bless technology.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:10

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Do you think the Concern forum is working as intended?

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:10

D1E: Nov 25, 2001

D1E posted:

I know, right?

And then he later stated he had "plausible deniability".

Derek is just as hosed as CIG.

I should clarify that someone helped me figure out the encryption earlier.

I was stunned when I read it.

But I still think Derek is just as hosed as CIG in releasing this information.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:11

Ponzi: Feb 21, 2016; DEPORTED FROM FLAVOR TOWN

ICSA 67 LOSER; Fun Shoe

D_Smart posted:

As was written in volume 11 of Genesis, when sons of man decided to construct what became the tower of Babel, God confounded their speech and scattered them to all corners of the Earth.

I gave up trying to work out the code, but shouldn't that be chapter 11?

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:11

TODD BONZALEZ: Jul 3, 2010

Galarox posted:

Also could someone give me a link to the orig 4th Stimpire post/text. TIA

https://imgur.com/a/vCHI9

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:12

Fat Shat Sings: Jan 24, 2016

Berious posted:

Agreed, I'm glad Derek Smart and a dying comedy forum will be written into the annals of gaming history with a fake game company that sells digital pictures of spaceships as their main source of income. The internet is a weird and hilarious place.

Wars will be fought. Entire Continents decimated in the year 3000 AD over whether or not Star Citizen was a scam or if Derek Smart was Lucifer holding humanity back from the 'verse

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:13

Kilmers Elbow: Jun 15, 2012

Someone PM me the decoded message pls, thnx.

Don't worry I am a space lawyer.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:13

RuckusRouser: Sep 28, 2015; Theres a lot of close ups of landing gear

D1E posted:

I should clarify that someone helped me figure out the encryption earlier.

I was stunned when I read it.

But I still think Derek is just as hosed as CIG in releasing this information.

Just tell me the page number!

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:13

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Grand Admiral - $2500+

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:16

Ohtsam: Feb 5, 2010; Not this shit again.

If its really as explosive as ya'll are saying shouldn't someone inform Lowtax so he can take actions to reduce his criminal liability or avoid a subpeona?

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:16

Kramjacks: Jul 5, 2007

I cracked Derek's code and it revealed he was a new hire at CIG and that Star Citizen is coming out and its gonna be really good.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:16

Ohtsam: Feb 5, 2010; Not this shit again.

*quote is not edit*

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:18

orcinus: Feb 25, 2016; Fun Shoe

Ragequit posted:

And then he confirmed it.

But did he confirm the message, that he gave it to him, or that Beer said not to gently caress up? :o

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:18

Cobblers: Feb 5, 2016; Come commandos, on wings of joy we'll fly
To where my bower hangs on high;
Come, and make thy calm retreat,
Among procedurally generated green leaves and blossoms sweet.

Asema posted:

somebody tell me the secret i'm impatient and lazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ben ate the warrant canary and everyone is mad.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:18

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

D_Smart posted:

If I were hiring, and they were qualified for the job, of course. Why not? I don't blame any of them for the poo poo-show that's going on atm. It's all on croberts.

I would amend that to say croberts and cabal (Sandi, Disco Hobo, Ben et al). That's why when people started bitching that the lower level CIG staff were evil, I argued they weren't. And then they said they should quite, and I argued it isn't quite that easy.

# ? Apr 3, 2016 19:18