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Spermy Smurf posted:And why Krog Bonesmasha got his rear end handed to him by Sun Tzu.
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Apr 7, 2016 00:46
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It's not all on Bad Munki (Coward), the front line went down a bit too easily. The Skeletons are capable of getting very quick starts and steamrolling or stalling out and getting steamrolled.
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Apr 7, 2016 01:24
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Spermy Smurf posted:And why Krog Bonesmasha got his rear end handed to him by Sun Tzu. I know that Tzu isn't the killiest gladiator but it was pretty loving hardcore last time when he picked that fist fight with Abominable. I mean he got his arm bitten off but that's not really his fault. Everybody gets their arm but off by a yeti under certain circumstances.
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Apr 7, 2016 02:10
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AJ_Impy posted:It's not all on Bad Munki (Coward), the front line went down a bit too easily. The Skeletons are capable of getting very quick starts and steamrolling or stalling out and getting steamrolled. It's kind of you to say that, Impy, but I strongly feel that the archer needs to connect with that first arrow for the Skeletons to win through. Basically I'm saying this is all Bad Munki's fault.
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Apr 7, 2016 02:26
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Tash died nearly instantly and the other two didn't last much longer, I don't think your bowbold was the problem. Maybe if your team mates were all wrestler moles you'd have more luck? Splode fucked around with this message at 02:45 on Apr 7, 2016 |
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Apr 7, 2016 02:43
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TCWD is a glass cannon team. Fights against them to be very one sided, one way or another.
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Apr 7, 2016 02:54
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Coward posted:Basically I'm saying this is all Bad Munki's fault. It checks out
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Apr 7, 2016 05:13
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Haystack posted:TCWD is a glass cannon team. Fights against them to be very one sided, one way or another. The same goes for the Skeletons. 4-0 was a likely result, but for which team was unknown until the battle.
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Apr 7, 2016 11:47
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jupis was actually maybe the most effective whipfighter on my team from what i remember but that doesn't mean much, maybe he gave a few more bruises than the rest
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Apr 7, 2016 12:23
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 Round 14, Fight 3 A furry, a farmer, and two cows (4-9) is on the left side of the arena. Goku (Galick) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears an iron cap and an iron mail shirt. Dontellim Pike (John Charity Spring) is a male human. He wields an iron pike and wears an iron helm, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Min/Maxotaur (Anchors) is a female minotaur. She wields a copper large dagger and a wooden buckler and wears a copper helm, three copper mail shirts, a copper breast plate, copper greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Rob Ford (Tirius) is a male minotaur. He wields an iron two-handed sword and a wooden shield and wears a copper helm, an iron mail shirt, copper leggings, copper gauntlets, and leather high boots. Worse Munki (10-3) is on the right side of the arena. Experiment Twenty-Two (fallingdownjoe) is a female tigerman. She wields an iron long sword and wears an iron helm and an iron mail shirt. Strangler Than Fiction (Tunicate) is a female strangler. She is empty handed and wears an iron helm, leather armor, a copper mail shirt, a platinum mail shirt, bronze gauntlets, and copper low boots. SRIRACHA FARTSTORM RETURNS (Pittsburgh Lambic) is a male elf. He wields a silver war hammer and wears leather leggings and leather high boots. Chaz Steadyfist (Segway Rave) is a male werewolf. He wields an iron halberd and a wooden shield and wears a silver helm, leather armor, leather leggings, and leather gauntlets.  Worse Munki is a 2.50 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 12800.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 5112.00 dwarfbucks for A furry, a farmer, and two cows.  We've got the deadly Chaz bottom right, keep an eye on him folks!  The fighters clash and it's a really bad time to be a minotaur. SRIRACHA bashes Rob Ford in the hand, breaking the wrist and sending bone deep into the forearm. Rob Ford is in severe pain, and drops his huge sword. Chaz swipes his halberd at Min/Max and a minotaur hand flies through the air.  Chaz changes targets and puts Rob Ford down with a broken leg and severed muscles. Rob Ford passes out.  Strangler releases his bite on Dontellims head and Chaz chops deep into the humans arm. In the tiger battle up top: Experiment 22 stabs Goku in the arm and fractures bone.  Experiment 22 stabs Goku one more time and its lights out for Goku.  SRIRACHA and Experiment 22 begin bashing away at helmets, trying to be the first to get a kill for their team. Experiment 22 wins. Dontellim, in pain, lances his pike into Strangler's chest and the strangler is having problems breathing with a pierced lung. Strangler returns the favor by biting the human so hard that he bruises a lung. Min/Max knows he has no chance against Chaz, so he charges and sends the smaller werewolf to the floor stunned.  Dontellim can't keep track of everyone and Experiment 22 takes advantage. A huge sword pierces his mouth and the human passes out. SRIRACHA finally gets through Rob Fords helmet, crushing the skull beneath.  Chaz gets to his feet and forces Min/Max to dodge backwards. Three weapons come down on Dontellim, but it's Experiment 22's huge sword that does the deed. Min/Max drops his shield from a numb hand and Chaz yanks on the embedded halberd. Min/Max_FUR: Death... I am not upset by this. That's a really good attitude to have right now. Like, a really good attitude considering what's next.  Oh hey look what landed.  SRIRACHA shatters the minotaurs elbow and Min/Max passes out. Experiment 22 takes the kill. Worse Munki made that look easy in what might be the shortest fight of the tournament. I could have GIF'd the entire thing. Kills: Experiment 22: 3 SRIRACHA: 1 Combat Log 
Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 13:31 on Apr 7, 2016 |
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Apr 7, 2016 13:29
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I really need to get around to buying the FARTSTORM a heavier hammer or something 
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Apr 7, 2016 13:43
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Whelp, I'm poor again.
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Apr 7, 2016 13:48
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That's the second fight in a row that Experiment 22's got three kills. Whisper it, but have I accidentally made her... good?
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Apr 7, 2016 14:03
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fallingdownjoe posted:That's the second fight in a row that Experiment 22's got three kills. Whisper it, but have I accidentally made her... good? What did you do? I need to know for a friend.
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Apr 7, 2016 14:32
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Pretty much just sell most of her armour to buy an Iron Longsword and a bundle of ranks in Fighting.
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Apr 7, 2016 14:38
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I thought the sword was new, but I'm just too lazy to go back and look. Well done.
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Apr 7, 2016 14:43
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Yeah, she had a copper one which just slapped ineffectually against everyone's armour/skin.
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Apr 7, 2016 15:00
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Chaz Steadyfist's drought continues, he seems content to be a quad ace. Sriracha is just one clean sweep away from matching him, joining the ranks of those who have accounted for a division's worth of gladiators. On the broader scale, Boatmurdered are leading Gemclod 2-1 this round. The Zoo will face the Horrorshow in the deciding fixture: Will the swamp fortress maintain their lead over the elephant burners?
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Apr 7, 2016 15:03
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Round 14, Fight 5 Go big and/or go home (6-7) is on the left side of the arena. Snowshank Redemption (A good poster) is a male yeti. He wields a copper large dagger and wears an iron mail shirt, copper greaves, and copper gauntlets. Tyler Durden is Hobbes (habituallyred) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm and leather armor. 3 Wolf Moon Shirt (iLonie) is a male werewolf. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a leather cap, leather armor, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Slam Whale Willy (potatomanjack) is a male werewolf. He wields a silver mace and a wooden buckler and wears an iron cap, a copper mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. A Tarantino Film (6-7) is on the right side of the arena. Uma Thurman (I R SMART LIKE ROCK) is a female human. She wields a steel two-handed sword and wears an iron helm, leather armor, and an iron mail shirt. Urist McLee (Fuubi) is a male dwarf. He is empty handed and wears a copper helm. Snarls Barkley (Bene Elim) is a female werewolf. She wields a bronze pike and a wooden shield and wears a bronze helm, leather armor, a bronze mail shirt, bronze gauntlets, and bronze high boots. Solomon Rabinowitz (Added Space) is a male serpent man. He is empty handed and wears a steel helm, a steel mail shirt, steel gauntlets, and steel high boots.  A Tarantino Film is a 1.25 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 8772.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 7003.00 dwarfbucks for Go big and/or go home.  Again we've got size on the left and a smaller team on the right.  The fight starts off with Uma's hanzo steel sword (is it hanzo? Hanjo? Banjo? what is it that nerds talk about all the time?) striking Hobbes in the paw, sending the tigerman to the floor. A second swing sends his entire right arm flying through the air. Hobbes does not pass out, but he's already pale and in pain.  Uma stabs Hobbes again which should by all rights have knocked him unconscious. Hobbes takes the blow, and then Snowshank stabs Uma in the arm which fractures. The yeti presses the advantage with a charge, sending Uma down to the floor. Hobbes uses that second to grab a hold of Uma's throat! Uma is defenseless for a second, and Snowshank stabs her foot. She falls to the floor where the tigerman places her in a choke hold! Urist punches Hobbes repeatedly to make him let go, but the tiger ignores the blows. Uma passes out from the choke hold.  Hobbes strangles for a few more seconds and Uma's trachea is crushed. Hobbes gets a kill which is impressive as poo poo considering he only has one arm. I've said zero about the other 5 gladiators but that's because they aren't doing anything.  Hobbes isn't done yet! He grabs Urist by the teeth and throws him into the air. Slam Whale Willy makes his presence known by smashing Snarls Barkley's shoulder to pieces. A shield drops from a useless arm.  Urist lands and is immediately stabbed by Snowshank which fractures his hand. A second stab fractures his leg and the dwarf passes out just as Hobbes lands a punch to his guts.  3 Wolf Moon has been dueling with Solomon down bottom right but the wolf can't get through Solomons steel armor. Solomon's teeth penetrate leather though, so 3 Wolf Moon is paralyzed.  Solomon the snake thrashes 3 Wolf Moon around and the werewolf will never wake up for this fight. Everything is torn to poo poo and what wasn't torn to poo poo is soon broken to pieces via Solomon. Hobbes breaks a few of Urist's bones, and finally Slam Whale Willy crushes the dwarven skull. Snarls Barkley tumbles backwards, mouth chopped open by Snowshanks dagger with the yeti in hot pursuit.  A yeti bite to the face will knock anyone unconscious, and Snarls is no different. Solomon continues to thrash the enemy around, but not able to kill the werewolf.  Snowshank plants his dagger in Snarls' head.  Solomon manages to dodge pretty well for a second.  And then it turns to poo poo as it's 3v1. The log at this point is the same length on top vs the bottom. So that means there's a shitload of lines like "doing nothing through the mail shirt" and "deflected by the steel gauntlets" or whatever. The end result is easy to figure out.  Go big and/or go home wins with a 4-0 victory. Kills: Slam Whale: 2 Snowshank: 1 Hobbes: 1 Combat Log 
Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 18:45 on Apr 7, 2016 |
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Apr 7, 2016 18:42
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I have never seen a serpent man bite through leather hard enough to use his venom before. 
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Apr 7, 2016 18:47
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I did my job.  Once again I blame everyone else.
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Apr 7, 2016 19:17
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Looks like new management paid off.
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Apr 7, 2016 20:10
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My power level is rising once more! 
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Apr 7, 2016 20:26
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I R SMART LIKE ROCK posted:I originally went with Iron Gauntlets this round since Uma's arms tend to get hosed up a lot. I then double checked who was on Animists saw Iron Spears, and quickly switched to an Iron Mail Shirt; seems to have paid off in spades. Spermy Smurf posted:Uma stabs Hobbes again which should by all rights have knocked him unconscious. Hobbes takes the blow, and then Snowshank stabs Uma in the arm which fractures. The yeti presses the advantage with a charge, sending Uma down to the floor. Hobbes uses that second to grab a hold of Uma's throat! Well I sure did call that one. Anyway I'm pretty sure that knocks us out of contention for 8th place, now it's time to drag other teams down with us. 
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Apr 7, 2016 20:34
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I R SMART LIKE ROCK posted:Well I sure did call that one. Anyway I'm pretty sure that knocks us out of contention for 8th place, now it's time to drag other teams down with us. Sell everything, buy whips.
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Apr 7, 2016 20:42
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No-one is out of contention just yet (Except Lightly Whipped who are mathematically incapable of reaching the playoffs. And incapable in most other ways.), but Go Big and/or Go Home have risen above the fray to claim the playoff place from Laser Explosion. However, their mere +2 kill difference means they are far from home at this stage. (And far from big, too.)
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Apr 7, 2016 21:03
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Honestly, I'm a little jealous that my team can't be a little shittier so we could be the best at being worst like Lightly Whipped.
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Apr 7, 2016 21:23
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I R SMART LIKE ROCK posted:Well I sure did call that one. Anyway I'm pretty sure that knocks us out of contention for 8th place, now it's time to drag other teams down with us. To be fair, no amount of iron would have saved you from getting stabbed by a Yeti with a dagger.
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Apr 7, 2016 21:41
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drat, random betting is not being my friend this round.
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Apr 7, 2016 22:19
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my dad posted:To be fair, no amount of iron would have saved you from getting stabbed by a Yeti with a dagger. Oh yeah I wasn't questioning that at all. I've just noticed that Uma's arms getting stabbed tends to be her tipping point.
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Apr 7, 2016 22:40
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AJ_Impy posted:No-one is out of contention just yet (Except Lightly Whipped who are mathematically incapable of reaching the playoffs. And incapable in most other ways.), but Go Big and/or Go Home have risen above the fray to claim the playoff place from Laser Explosion. However, their mere +2 kill difference means they are far from home at this stage. (And far from big, too.) I wonder how many more we have to win before we are in regardless of what else happens... I'm gonna go ahead and jinx it and say I think we probably are gonna make it though
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Apr 7, 2016 22:42
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LorrdErnie posted:I wonder how many more we have to win before we are in regardless of what else happens... I'm gonna go ahead and jinx it and say I think we probably are gonna make it though
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Apr 7, 2016 22:44
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Coward posted:Huh. Are there people who are actually offended or weirded out that I always bet against my own team? This is like the second or third time this has come up. I can kind of understand that it might be viewed as sort of disloyal or that I'm deliberately taking a dive or something, is that it? I may be enticingly serious when I say YOU R SCUM
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Apr 7, 2016 22:48
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Dirty Frank posted:LorrdErnie! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Two of our remaining 4 matches have a teams at 3-11 and 4-10. So it'll be really embarrassing when we lose all 4 of our remaining matches and miss the playoffs 
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Apr 7, 2016 22:49
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LorrdErnie posted:Two of our remaining 4 matches have a teams at 3-11 and 4-10. Here is Fate ->  < -here is youMaybe you are the coach we need not the one we want :O
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Apr 7, 2016 22:53
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Dirty Frank posted:Here is Fate -> Believe me when I say that fighting with overconfidence and style is the only way to win in the arena. That's why my fighter before this wore a full suit of silver armor and Richard is never ever going to buy pants. Edit: Really what I'm saying is that I learn from my mistakes and I'm pretty sure that my mistake was wearing pants. The ideology eater fucked around with this message at 23:06 on Apr 7, 2016 |
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Apr 7, 2016 23:02
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LorrdErnie posted:Two of our remaining 4 matches have a teams at 3-11 and 4-10. Cough cough homefield advantage is coming back cough cough.
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Apr 8, 2016 00:01
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Spermy Smurf posted:Cough cough homefield advantage is coming back cough cough. This is true. And upsets have happened. But as I've already stated I'm not going to be wearing pants.
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Apr 8, 2016 00:09
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my dad posted:I have never seen a serpent man bite through leather hard enough to use his venom before. Hell, they can bite through adamantium mail.
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Apr 8, 2016 00:09
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Tunicate posted:Hell, they can bite through adamantium mail. Mail has a 20% fail rate so
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Apr 8, 2016 00:11
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