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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:[Plinkett voice] they saw that deadpool had some success breaking the 4th wall and so they went full spaceballs
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Apr 8, 2016 18:36
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8-Bit Scholar posted:Also I was baffled that the water sequence seemed a perfect opportunity for Aquaman to show up and save Lois, contributing in a quiet way, but no, Superman just...yeah. ...god damnit. add it to the list of blatant missed opportunities
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Apr 8, 2016 18:40
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Why was the titular Batman vs Superman fight held in a gay bathhouse with a flooded basement anyways?
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Apr 8, 2016 19:05
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CJacobs posted:Congrats you've found the problem with Superman interacting with any other superhero that comic book writers have desperately tip-toed on eggshells around for the past 60 years Except goku
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Apr 8, 2016 19:51
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Why was the titular Batman vs Superman fight held in a gay bathhouse with a flooded basement anyways? Obviously the bathhouse setting was meant to underscore the homoerotic nature inherent in all superhero stories, where men in tights prefer to spend time grappling with one another above all else. The bathroom tiles and water pipes hint at steamy showers where struggling, slippery godmen could entwine in the nude like mighty Zeus intended. Batman beating his opponent in the face with a porcelain sink drives home the metaphor, displaying a desire to force his white butt-hole into Superman's greedy mouth. Did I do CD right?
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Apr 8, 2016 20:19
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Batman smashing a sink over Superman's head was the best part of the film.
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Apr 8, 2016 20:20
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I'm still starting to think it should have been a Wonder Woman vs. Superman movie. 10 straight minutes of Superman just getting his poo poo kicked in because he won't hit a woman. Also, fill it with all sorts of little poo poo so that people can comment how she's breaking Superman down with symbols of the patriarchy. Ripping urinals off the wall and smashing them into his head. An homage of the "Hey Superman!" scene from Superman 2 ("You see, Wonder Woman is attacking Superman with a 'man'hole cover. It's really quite clever.'). Etc. Lois shows up in stolen power suit of Lex's and goes, "Get away from him, you BITCH!"
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Apr 8, 2016 21:28
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stevie wonder woman is a movie i would watch
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Apr 8, 2016 21:32
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JediTalentAgent posted:I'm still starting to think it should have been a Wonder Woman vs. Superman movie. Wonder Woman should have been introduced to the fight like an angry parent. She abandons mankind after WW1 only to return because these two dopes are going to level two entire cities with their stupid grudge match. Superman can't overpower her, Batman's kryptonite has no effect and he doesn't have the time to plan anything else. Of course that would only work if the first hour of the movie was just SuperDickery. Batman creating fake emergencies for Superman only to have a bunch of machine guns and missile launchers pop out of manhole covers and fire on him as he arrives. Batman hangs back with a spiral ring notebook, on it listed: -LASERS -CHAINSAWS -HUGE rear end BOULDER as Batman works his way down the list trying to see how invulnerable Supes really is.
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Apr 8, 2016 21:58
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I'm going to recommend this movie to people who trust my opinion. I want all of them to waste three hours of their lives.
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Apr 8, 2016 21:58
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death to smoochie freakin owned edit: meant to post this in the ed norton thread but it's still worth thinking about
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Apr 8, 2016 22:00
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Nefarious 2.0 posted:death to smoochie freakin owned it's true
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Apr 8, 2016 22:06
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No, I want a Wonder Woman who is a hypocrite about being about peace and love while also being a vengeful, hateful violent killer when it suits her because she's grown bitter about the nature of the world. That's why she'd hate Superman. Just like Lex assumes as a human that gods cannot be all good and all powerful, she's a god that assumes this alien god is just as prone to violent use of his power as as she has been over the years.
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Apr 8, 2016 22:10
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Superman is a huge pussy, Batman is a mentally ill man who has murderphobia so we need Wonder Woman there to cut all the bad guys in half with her sword. Every time she does it a comically large splash of blood needs to hit both Superman and Batman
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Apr 8, 2016 22:17
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Otisburg posted:Disney magic has people legitimately excited for another Star Wars prequel. They have so much good will banked they could probably drop Two BvS's in a row and shrug it off. You will live the rest of your life having a new star wars movie every year. They bought the rights, now they are going to make the movies intill well after you are a skeleton.
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Apr 8, 2016 22:37
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CJacobs posted:Congrats you've found the problem with Superman interacting with any other superhero that comic book writers have desperately tip-toed on eggshells around for the past 60 years It is legitimately canon that Wonder Woman could beat the dogshit out of Superman. She's just as strong, and she's smarter and far more skilled in combat. But having them fight is pointless because the whole thing with Superman isn't that he battles things stronger than him, it's that he's a hero who stops awful poo poo from happening because of people who are just stronger in some fashion than regular humans. The reason there's not a huge pantheon of world-destroying mega-powered villains in Superman stories isn't because the writers didn't think to do that, it's that they thought better of doing that. Superman is far more interesting as a hero who always tries to do the right thing than just a dumb brute who can punch a hole through a building. That poo poo is boooooooring. Likewise, Batman is more interesting as a guy who outsmarts his enemies and does cool detective poo poo. And doesn't kill. Any rear end in a top hat can put on robot armor and shoot people with a machine gun. Batman is awesome because he doesn't do that. Unless you're Zack Snyder. Then Superman is the mindless smash version of the Incredible Hulk and Batman is a bat-themed Punisher because, as Zack Snyder, you are retarded and have never read anything but Ayn Rand books and you don't understand human beings or emotions or human interaction.
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Apr 8, 2016 22:47
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:It is legitimately canon that Wonder Woman could beat the dogshit out of Superman. She's just as strong, and she's smarter and far more skilled in combat. Also, far more ruthless. Supes and Batman wouldn't have killed Maxwell Lord, despite the Lasso of Truth compelling him to say that the only way to stop him is to kill him. But Wonder Woman did.
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Apr 8, 2016 23:04
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Ben Affleck was acting like Christen Steward.... No facial expression at all.
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Apr 8, 2016 23:12
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I don't know anything about Wonder Woman besides this movie and google image. I still think she is a worse design than Superman. I think Zack Snyder intentionally cast a flat chested woman to make WWr more "contemporary", except he cast a supermodel who can't speak English. Having a bunch of overpowered and very boring superheroes is why DC can't make decent comic book movie except Batman.
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Apr 9, 2016 00:34
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Frankly, an Amazon with both tits is a shameful Amazon.
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Apr 9, 2016 00:40
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whatever7 posted:I don't know anything about Wonder Woman besides this movie and google image. I still think she is a worse design than Superman. I think Zack Snyder intentionally cast a flat chested woman to make WWr more "contemporary", except he cast a supermodel who can't speak English. It's amazing how this loving idiot miscast everyone in BvS.
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Apr 9, 2016 00:45
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JediTalentAgent posted:I'm still starting to think it should have been a Wonder Woman vs. Superman movie. lol if you think zack snyder's notion of superman won't hit a woman. i bet some script consultant had to talk him down from having the man of steel do rapes.
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Apr 9, 2016 01:34
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whatever7 posted:I don't know anything about Wonder Woman besides this movie and google image. I still think she is a worse design than Superman. I think Zack Snyder intentionally cast a flat chested woman to make WWr more "contemporary", except he cast a supermodel who can't speak English.
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Apr 9, 2016 01:57
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Otisburg posted:they saw that deadpool had some success breaking the 4th wall and so they went full spaceballs Deadpool was better since it had more consistent tone and at least brought out the cheesy fun of the character.
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Apr 9, 2016 01:59
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am i the only one here who really hopes that zack snyder gets to direct the fountainhead, and then it flops horribly and crushes all his hopes and dreams?
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Apr 9, 2016 02:00
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whatever7 posted:I don't know anything about Wonder Woman besides this movie and google image. I still think she is a worse design than Superman. I think Zack Snyder intentionally cast a flat chested woman to make WWr more "contemporary", except he cast a supermodel who can't speak English. The problem is that Hollywood doesn't cast ballbreakers anymore and that's kinda who you'd need for a "super-serious" Wonder Woman. If it there was no Lynda Carter, an '80s Wonder Woman would likely be Brigitte Nielsen with a brunette dye-job. There's no modern contemporary to her or Sybil Danning or Sandal Bergmann, etc. Gina Carano really should have been Wonder Woman, but I guess Snyder felt she was too threatening.
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Apr 9, 2016 02:06
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Pitdragon posted:am i the only one here who really hopes that zack snyder gets to direct the fountainhead, and then it flops horribly and crushes all his hopes and dreams? no, you are not. i want it to be every bit the success atlas shrugged was
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Apr 9, 2016 02:07
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8-Bit Scholar posted:I am legit really pumped for the Suicide Squad movie and I expect it will be excellent. your brain is severely broken.
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Apr 9, 2016 02:07
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Pitdragon posted:am i the only one here who really hopes that zack snyder gets to direct the fountainhead, and then it flops horribly and crushes all his hopes and dreams? There's already a movie version of the Fountainhead, though. I came across it while channel flipping and was really confused when the protagonist blew up a building and then got acquitted for no logical reason whatsoever.
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Apr 9, 2016 03:25
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Pvt.Scott posted:Frankly, an Amazon with both tits is a shameful Amazon. Also like an idiot I tried posting in the CineD thread for this movie. I should have known better. Like, I'd like to think I wasn't saying anything outlandish, but some of the film's defenders are acting like I'm a literal crazy person. I, just, I don't even know 
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Apr 9, 2016 04:04
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Xenomrph posted:Gal Gadot actually talked about this very point on Conan recently, it was pretty entertaining. You should know better than to state that Transformers 4, Attack of the Clones, or BvS are in any way bad while posting in CineD. If a movie is widely regarded as a monumental piece of poo poo, it is literally the best movie ever made to CD posters. Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time is the best loving cinematic masterpiece, you heathen gently caress. The shittiness was INTENTIONAL. READ ZIZEK YOU gently caress. YOU loving gently caress. Side note: BvS is still underperforming Deadpool domestically heading into its third weekend. But thanks to international box office receipts it may earn the dubious honor of earning back its conservatively estimated budget by week 5. Given the rumored astronomical advertising budget, it may not see a profit until home video sales. Other side note: Ryan Reynolds and JJ Abrams are buying mansions just to store surplus cocaine and hookers in them.
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Apr 9, 2016 04:22
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Full disclosure: I liked Transformers 4 the most out of any of the Transformers movies. Like yeah it's not high art, but the plot made sense, the characters were easy to tell apart, the action was cool and easy to follow, and the three villains were cool and interesting while having distinct motivations that were easy to understand.
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Apr 9, 2016 04:31
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This is a real quote from a real human being.Yoshifan823 posted:I want DC to hire Harmony Korine or Lars von Trier or Nicholas Winding Refn to direct a movie. Marvel would never do that, whereas DC might get it in their nose that they should be the guys who hire all the "artsy" directors. I, too, can't wait to see an Aqua Man movie that is a washed-out-palette home video of a retard masturbating in a bathtub. Marvel would never do something as bold as shoot a movie that would only be daring and revolutionary if you've literally never seen porn or had done a sex. [Italian chef kissing fingers] Itsa Good Art
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Apr 9, 2016 04:38
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Xenomrph posted:Gal Gadot actually talked about this very point on Conan recently, it was pretty entertaining.
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Apr 9, 2016 04:41
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:This is a real quote from a real human being. imagine gal gadot crushing batman's testicles with a hammer
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Apr 9, 2016 05:17
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Indian Superman is best Superman. http://i.imgur.com/OrXEm5E.webm
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Apr 9, 2016 05:34
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Young Freud posted:The problem is that Hollywood doesn't cast ballbreakers anymore and that's kinda who you'd need for a "super-serious" Wonder Woman. If it there was no Lynda Carter, an '80s Wonder Woman would likely be Brigitte Nielsen with a brunette dye-job. There's no modern contemporary to her or Sybil Danning or Sandal Bergmann, etc. They should have just got Lynda Carter. Sure, she's over 60 now, but they could write that into the script. This is how she looked in 2011/2012.   Still Wonder Woman to me.
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Apr 9, 2016 05:39
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Xenomrph posted:Full disclosure: I liked Transformers 4 the most out of any of the Transformers movies. Like yeah it's not high art, but the plot made sense, the characters were easy to tell apart, the action was cool and easy to follow, and the three villains were cool and interesting while having distinct motivations that were easy to understand. As long as Michael Bay keeps having hot skanks stand next to robots and explosions we're good.
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Apr 9, 2016 05:49
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Immortan posted:As long as Michael Bay keeps having hot skanks stand next to robots and explosions we're good. And don't worry if they're under age. Michael Bay will literally pause the film to explain when, where, how, and why loving kids is legal. In a kids movie. About plastic car toys.
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Apr 9, 2016 05:55
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:And don't worry if they're under age. Michael Bay will literally pause the film to explain when, where, how, and why loving kids is legal. dude, it's called the ~whatever~ law! look it up!
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Apr 9, 2016 06:18
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