|
We're going all the way to the top, boys!
|
#
?
Apr 20, 2016 22:14
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 10, 2024 17:03 |
|
|
Oh poo poo, I just won an underdog bet, wtffffff There goes my flawless betting streak. 
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 01:24
|
|
|
Hell yeaaah, once again being on the commissioner's team pays off. Many thanks to spermy for rigging the fight for me, Cowman will eat the good grains tonight.
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 04:16
|
|
|
LorrdErnie posted:agh my hubris agh your hubris
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 07:10
|
|
|
Figures I forget to bet on my own team this round haha
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 08:16
|
|
|
Bad Munki posted:Oh poo poo, I just won an underdog bet, wtffffff I have lost every bet and every match, get on my level.
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 10:40
|
|
|
FillInTheBlank posted:I have lost every bet and every match, get on my level. I am Bad Munki, I don't even have a level. I even fail at excelling in the field of failing.
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 14:25
|
|
|
Dirty Frank posted:agh your hubris It can't be my fault! It's rigged against us I tell you!
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 14:27
|
|
|
Bad Munki posted:I am Bad Munki, I don't even have a level. I even fail at excelling in the field of failing. You fail so hard that your attempt to create the worst gimmick fighter resulted in you winning a tournament. 
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 14:28
|
|
|
my dad posted:You fail so hard that your attempt to create the worst gimmick fighter resulted in you winning a tournament. It's a terrible thing. :'(
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 14:28
|
|
|
LorrdErnie posted:It can't be my fault! It's rigged against us I tell you! Spermy Smurf, coincidence? 
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 14:53
|
|
|
Just ran a fight and it was the best thing I've ever seen. A fan favorite plays a huge role.
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 21:22
|
|
|
But Lightly Whipped just had their fight for the round...?
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 22:21
|
|
|
 Round 15, Fight 5 A Tarantino Film (6-8) is on the left side of the arena. Uma Thurman (I R SMART LIKE ROCK) is a female human. She wields a steel two-handed sword and wears an iron helm, leather armor, and an iron mail shirt. Urist McLee (Fuubi) is a male dwarf. He is empty handed and wears a copper helm. Snarls Barkley (Bene Elim) is a female werewolf. She wields a bronze pike and a wooden shield and wears a bronze helm, leather armor, a bronze mail shirt, bronze gauntlets, and bronze high boots. Solomon Rabinowitz (Added Space) is a male serpent man. He is empty handed and wears a steel helm, a steel mail shirt, steel gauntlets, and steel high boots. Cool Rad Awesome Pals (5-9) is on the right side of the arena. Punc Hant (Silverminnow) is a female soldier ant woman. She is empty handed and wears an iron helm, a steel breast plate, and steel gauntlets. BS-45 "Apeliminator" (alcharagia) is a male strangler. He wields a copper pick and wears an iron cap. Jimbo Akimbo (Bad Munki) is a male dwarf. He wields two copper war hammers and wears an iron cap, an iron mail shirt, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots. The Krying Bowbold Returns! (Krysmphoenix) is a female kobold. She wields a steel bow and wears no armor.  A Tarantino Film is a 1.18 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 2005.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 1704.00 dwarfbucks for Cool Rad Awesome Pals.  Bowbold signals the start of the fight with an arrow. Uma wasn't paying attention and the arrow strikes her foot. A tendon is torn, bone is chipped, and she is grounded. That really set the tone for the fight.  This means that Snarls is the fastest fighter by a long shot on the left side of the arena. He slams into the 3 opponents well before anyone else on his team. To be honest he doesn't do badly. He blocks a few blows, misses a strike, and then Urist arrives to help.  Help is a relative term for Urist. Apeliminator plants his pick into Urist's side, puncturing his kidney. Urist responds by punching one of Punc Hants hands to goo. Doesn't the antwoman have steel gauntlets? What the hell just happened? Bowbold releases a second arrow before Uma even gets close to the melee, and this one sends Snarls to the floor with a hosed up thigh. Jimbo looks over and sees Solomon shining in his steel armor and knows he's the only one with a chance to hurt the snake. The two begin dueling down south.  Ant-incisors tear into Urists' arm, and the dwarf passes out. Apeliminator picks Snarls in the arm and the werewolf drops his pike. Uma arrives on scene, crawling forward with a look of determination. Punc Hant loses a foot, then the sword clangs off of a steel breastplate (is that new?), steel gauntlet... and then Uma aims a bit higher and sends Punc Hants head flying. Jimbo smashes Solomon twice in rapid succession and the snakeman finally releases his bite on Jimbo's neck. Jimbo will have to do more than bruise bone, but I'm not sure if his copper hammers can do that through steel.  Solomon dives forward and bites Jimbo's head. His teeth must be just wide enough that the iron cap doesn't cover fully, and Jimbo is paralyzed. A steel arrow arrives, slamming into Solomons chest! Bowbold to the rescue! Or wait. It failed to penetrate through steel armor; instead just bruised a lung.  In the melee: Apeliminator goes to town on the grounded enemies. A pick breaks Snarls' leg and the werewolf passes out. Uma deflects one blow, but Apeliminator picks her arm and she passes out as well. Solomon begins shaking Jimbo around by the head and Jimbo will never wake up no matter how long he lives. Let me set the stage for you: Apeliminator has turned on the deadly and somehow he's the lone gladiator surrounded by 3 unconscious bodies. Apeliminator has a copper pick. Solomon is thrashing Jimbo around, but the dwarf will likely take 10 minutes before he dies of blood loss. Bowbold is zero'd in on Solomon and hasn't missed a shot yet. Steel arrrows vs Steel armor. Everyone on board?  Fast foward five minutes: Five arrows slammed into Solomon, armor preventing major injuries. Bowbold has not missed a single shot. Apeliminator is swinging his pick in a frenzy, the victory so close he can taste it. The only problem is that Uma has a helmet and his lovely pick can't get through it.  Snarls wakes up only to see Apeliminator fully erect (I am guessing) standing over the unconscious Uma. He does the only thing he can do: Snarls grabs at Apeliminator. Apeliminator dances back, swings a dozen times only to be turned aside by armor. Finally a blow gets through, sending a werewolf hand flying through the air. See, now Apeliminator is not fixated on Uma's helmet. From a game perspective I think he's got a better chance now than he did when they were both unconscious. Whats this? Uma wakes up too! She swings at Apeliminator who parries, then buries his pick in her leg. She passes out again. Snarls is still game though. Another arrow slams into Solomon, but armor holds yet again.  Apeliminator fixates on Uma's helmet again. Snarls finally rolls himself close enough to break Apeliminators concentration, but the werewolf gets a pick in the stomach for his troubles. Bowbold fires true with another arrow, but this time to the eye of Solomon and finally Jimbo dies from blood loss.  Apeliminator spills Snarls' foul guts. Solomon arrives, attacking Apeliminator from behind.  Snake jaws close on Apeliminators chest, bruising the heart and injecting venom. Urist wakes up and moves to help against Apeliminator...  The movement draws the attention of Bowbold who still has not missed a single shot. Urist passes out with a pair of arrows in him.  Whats this? Snarls bled to death. Let me just look at the logs to see who.... Ape...liminator? Apeliminator?  APELIMINATOR!  More arrows find their way into Urist while Uma regains consciousness. A single stab removes "Apeliminator the Blooded's" head.  Uma is not very quick, but Solomon doesn't really need help. 25 arrows clatter to the floor as Bowbold is paralyzed by Solomon. It should be noted that Bowbold fired 15 arrows and didn't miss once.  Shake shake shake and he bleeds out. A Tarantino Film pulls a 4-1 victory out of their collective asses. Kills: Uma: 2 Solomon: 2 Apeliminator: 1 Combat Log 
Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 22:29 on Apr 21, 2016 |
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 22:22
|
|
|
That's got to be the most effective use of venom all tournament. How many unblooded remain?
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 22:34
|
|
|
Dancing, we're dancing! You're not the greatest 'cause I am the greatest! No, we're both great! OKAY! WAHHH! *flies off* OOOOOOO, FEVERRRRR!
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 22:34
|
|
|
I'm so proud. This round has been pleasantly surprising.
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 22:37
|
|
|
That was a great fight. Uma living up to her name yet again.
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 22:39
|
|
|
Hmm. If I was going to the finals, I might switch out that steel bow for something with a bit more piercing power. Coward, take note?
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 22:53
|
|
|
So how many ranks do you need in archery for it to actually hit things?
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 22:53
|
|
|
Tunicate posted:So how many ranks do you need in archery for it to actually hit things? The weird thing is Bowbold has had 10 Archery since the beginning.
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 23:36
|
|
|
Dumber targets I bet.
|
|
#
?
Apr 21, 2016 23:44
|
|
|
Hmmm. Function of the archer's skill or matchup against opponents that no one shield blocked or dodged the arrows? Nice work, though, Krysm. I'm not quite sure what's going to be all-round better than steel aside from the shining blue that I don't think I have any chance of being able to purchase.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 00:07
|
|
|
I don't like Apeliminator's edgy reboot. I liked it back when Apeliminator was comically inept. I know that Alcharagia Industries has a lot of Apeliminator merch to move but I don't think this is fair to his fans.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 00:57
|
|
|
Apeliminator stole Jimbo's mojo
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 01:43
|
|
|
Coward posted:
From what I recall from bow and crossbow testing some several tournaments ago, arrows actually benefit somewhat from being heavier. In another team tournament, I had an ant archer make it all the way to the championship match with a silver bow that fairly consistently pierced steel. With that in mind, I'd probably just go with steel and skills.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 06:19
|
|
|
Also, Apeliminator was not fully erect. He is not equipped with those ports. It's part of his kid-friendly image.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 06:39
|
|
|
Decoy Badger posted:That's got to be the most effective use of venom all tournament. How many unblooded remain? Still four, Apeliminator has been blooded for a while. Half of Lightly Whipped and half of This Bites are the remaining worthless scrubs. Indeed, Apeliminator isn't at the bottom of the C.R.A.P. pile any more, since he just surpassed Punc Hant and is one kill behind Bowbold. However, all three don't have as many kills as Lightly Whipped, which is the benchmark for being worth a drat. Jimbo is the only piece of C.R.A.P. who is. A Tarantino Film have just overtaken Laser Explosion, who are yet to fight, despite having the same kill difference. Syrupleaf has no real irredeemable side.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 08:28
|
|
|
Splode posted:That was a great fight. Uma living up to her name yet again. Uma has earned herself a nice bottle of scotch, you did good kid.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 13:36
|
|
|
I just read through the log and HOLY CRAP Urist took a beating!Spermy Smurf posted:Urist responds by punching one of Punc Hants hands to goo. Doesn't the antwoman have steel gauntlets? What the hell just happened? Well... he actually turned a foot into goo, not a hand... mystery solved!
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 16:35
|
|
|
Did we ever work out how big a yeti's dagger would be?
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 16:37
|
|
|
goatface posted:Did we ever work out how big a yeti's dagger would be? Dick jokes aside, the same size as everyone else's, which is exactly why they're so deadly under the right circumstances. All the strength of a yeti, focused into a single point at the tip of the dagger.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 16:40
|
|
|
Vindication!
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 17:14
|
|
|
LOVE IT
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 17:42
|
|
|
Round 15, Fight 7 Worker Cooperative (9-5) is on the left side of the arena. Combat Liberalism (Jack the Lad) is a female gremlin. She wields an iron large dagger and wears no armor. Unthrottle the Axolotl (Zwingley) is a female kobold. She wields a bronze scourge and wears a copper helm, leather armor, a copper mail shirt, leather leggings, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Jameson the Unruly (Cathode Raymond) is a male human. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a copper cap, a copper breast plate, copper leggings, copper gauntlets, and copper low boots. Albrik the Insignificant (Tiler Kiwi) is a male kobold. He wields an iron battleaxe and wears a bronze cap, a bronze mail shirt, bronze leggings, bronze gauntlets, and leather low boots. Subterranean Animists (12-2) is on the right side of the arena. Braun Strowman (Frozen_Flame) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields an iron short sword and two copper short swords and wears an iron helm, two copper mail shirts, iron leggings, and iron gauntlets. Baldwin (captaindirtnap) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, leather leggings, iron gauntlets, and steel low boots. Qwarf (C7ty1) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron breast plate, iron greaves, and steel gauntlets. Dusseldwarf (decoy badger) is a female dwarf. She wields an iron spear and a wooden shield and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, iron leggings, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots.  Subterranean Animists is a 2.10 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 7604.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 3617.00 dwarfbucks for Worker Cooperative.  Wow, I just realized who was on these teams and I'm pretty excited for this fight. Deadly on both sides.  We lead off with Unthrottle dodging one spear only to land in the way of a second. Baldwins spear pierces the kobolds hip and pins her to the floor. Unthrottle passes out immediately. That's okay though, the other 3 fighters are still alive and very deadly. They can do this.  Baldwin casually kills Unthrottle at the same time Combat Liberalism grounds Qwarf with a slash to the foot. It's not quite even, but Qwarf is in pain. They can still do this!  Jamesons sword does not pierce Dusseldorfs armor, but Jamesons armor of the exact same material fails to Dusseldorfs weapon of the exact same material. Jameson is grounded, then stabbed in the neck and he passes out immediately. Qwarf is grounded, but still manages to chop Combat Liberalism's arm deeply. It's pretty uneven now, but they can still do it...  It should be noted that I'm like 20 lines deep into the combat log and we've got 2 dead fighters on one of the best teams in the tournament. Another fighter is in extreme pain. Baldwin with the kill.  Baldwin joins in against Combat Liberalism and the gremlin is out with his chest pierced. It's not at all even, but I believe in Albrik!  Albrik is sprayed with his teammates blood and faces 4 opponents. Dusseldorf with the kill.  Albrik sends Brauns foot flying. Go Albrik!   Baldwin's head snaps back as his lip is mangled by Albriks axe. Baldwin turns in his man card and is in severe pain from a bloody lip. Albrik is knocked backwards and rolls away from the enemies after a charge by Baldwin. Atta boy Albrik!  Albriks attacks against Braun are turned by copper mail despite the iron axe. Baldwin, crying like a baby over his split lip, charges through the tears and sends Albrik backward stunned. Aww man, c'mon Albrik!  Poor Albrik.  Yay Albrik!  It was only a matter of time. Dusseldorf takes the kill. Subterranean Animists absolutely manhandled their deadly opponents for a 4-0 victory. Kills: Dusseldorf: 3 Baldwin: 1 Combat Log 
Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 18:45 on Apr 22, 2016 |
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 18:42
|
|
|
drat. I'm happy with the result, but I was definitely expecting it to be closer than that. 
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 18:46
|
|
|
I've been rooting for the coop since the beginning and this was difficult for me because them losing improved my playoff chances. I'm kinda glad it wasn't a closer fight I would've been having trouble choosing who to root for.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 19:03
|
|
|
The Subterranean Animists must love cards, because Dusseldwarf just hit Blackjack and the whole squad's list of kills? 52, Pick 'em up. Duss is starting to pull away from her teammates, having five more than Qwarf.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 19:23
|
|
|
Subterranean Animists either dominate spectacularly or die spectacularly. There's no in between (barring a martial trance). Edit: quote:Baldwin_SUB charges at Dusseldorf_SUB! Thanks, jerk. Decoy Badger fucked around with this message at 19:38 on Apr 22, 2016 |
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 19:36
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 10, 2024 17:03 |
|
|
They've only done the latter twice.
|
|
#
?
Apr 22, 2016 19:37
|
|