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muscles like this? posted:The thing that bugged me about Timeline was that it seemed like he kept forgetting it wasn't actually time travel. Ryoshi posted:It's even worse than that because the characters keep insisting its not actual time travel while completely ignoring that literally none of the plot makes any kind of sense if it's not. That's not even the worst part. The worst part is when he explains how the time travel actually works, because not only is it not actually time travel, it doesn't do what the characters say they want it to do either. The whole thing is based on the idea that there are infinite universes splitting off from every point in time, so in some universe, anything that's possible is happening. So in some parallel universe, the present is exactly like our universe was at some arbitrary point in the past. So far so good. The big problem arises from the fact that they don't actually have the technology to travel between universes. They've got the transmission down, and they can look into other universes, but they have no way to reconstruct you on over there when you arrive. But there is some parallel universe where it's exactly like our universe was in the past except that you just suddenly appeared out of nowhere, so if they look at that universe it seems like you were transmitted there and reconstructed. What they're actually doing is disintegrating people and then hoping the universe spontaneously recreates them later. For every universe where that actually happens, there are infinitely many more universes where it doesn't. The only reason the plot doesn't end with all the characters just vanishing never to be seen again is because we're looking at one of the minority of universes where that didn't happen. And nothing anyone does has any meaning because everything that could have happened did happen in some alternate universe and we're just looking at one arbitrarily chosen universe. I'm probably getting some of that wrong, but it was all at least that nonsensical.
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Mar 26, 2016 16:46
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Danielewski's Only Revolutions - while I loved House of Leaves, this is just unreadable: While this review is closest to my heart, there's apparently this happening in the book: quote:To give an idea of the degree to which this book sucked, here's the summary of a typical scenario from each character's perspective. And as much as you may think that I'm making this up because you don't believe that something this bad could possibly have been published, let me assure you that I am not. Let me repeat - you may find this scene summary to be offensive. It is Danielewski's scene, straight out of the book, not embellished, not made up: I'm currently reading The Familiar, and while it's simply boring, it's not as crazy as the abovementioned, and it's sticking to Danielewski's gimmicks. Another one though - Kingdoms of the Wall by Robert Silverberg - there's a village at the bottom of the mountain; every year 40 people travel from the village, trying to reach the summit. Some return, but they are either insane or stop talking. During the travel, the villagers find previous people that tried to climb the mountain, that have undergone mutations. The problems I've had with the books are - it, early on, starts to read like an RPG; throw dice to see how many of your people died in yellow river that you've stumbled upon; places where previous pilgrims have stayed have no sense - great, two of my villagers have merged together and one of them started glowing; but the biggest issue was this: quote:I had my first mating, for one thing, when I turned thirteen. Her name was Lilim, and as is usual she was a woman of my mother’s family, about twenty-five years old. Her face was round and rosy, her breasts were full and comforting. The lines of age were evident on her face but she seemed very beautiful to me. My mother must have told her that I was ready. At a gathering of our family she came over to me and sang the little song that a woman sings when she is choosing a man, and though I was very startled at first, and even a little frightened, I recovered quickly and sang the song that a man is supposed to make in reply.  aside - there are many sex scenes in this book and every time it's maleness, and every time it's awkward:quote:I understood. She had not come to me for Changes. She had a strange self-sufficiency, that woman: many Witches do. I forced myself back toward the neuter state, but it was difficult for me. My control kept breaking, my body slid again and again toward readiness. But I could tell that Thissa was in the state without breasts just now and I knew that if I touched her between the thighs I would find no aperture waiting for me. She was utterly neuter and intended to stay that way. I had no choice but to respect that. I struggled for control, and attained it, finally. We lay together calmly. Her head was against my chest, her legs were entwined with mine. She sobbed from weariness, but it was a soft, easy sobbing. edit: I also haven't seen mentioned The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice. While I've not read the book, the reviews make it seem delightful read. And apparently it's being adapted as tv series. Yay! canis minor has a new favorite as of 00:52 on Mar 28, 2016 |
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Mar 28, 2016 00:35
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canis minor posted:While this review is closest to my heart, there's apparently this happening in the book: Wow, that's some serious Rashomon poo poo, right there. canis minor posted:
Was this written by an insect that learned human speech?
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Mar 28, 2016 01:45
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canis minor posted:edit: I also haven't seen mentioned The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice. While I've not read the book, the reviews make it seem delightful read. And apparently it's being adapted as tv series. Yay! Wha? That poo poo is straight up hard-core BSDM porn. I'm curious as to what kind of story is left after they sanitize it for TV. If you cut out all the whipping, bondage, and hard-core sex there's probably only 20 to 30 pages you can adapt out of few hundred. It's also not very good and was surprisingly boring. I have no idea about the sequels.
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Mar 28, 2016 02:41
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flosofl posted:Wha? That poo poo is straight up hard-core BSDM porn. I'm curious as to what kind of story is left after they sanitize it for TV. If you cut out all the whipping, bondage, and hard-core sex there's probably only 20 to 30 pages you can adapt out of few hundred. Hey they made a movie of 50 Shades of Grey
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Mar 28, 2016 03:04
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The Vosgian Beast posted:Hey they made a movie of 50 Shades of Grey Probably why it got greenlit.
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Mar 28, 2016 03:13
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flosofl posted:Probably why it got greenlit. Maybe that's an influence, but Interview with a Vampire was a pretty big success albeit some years ago. E: Oh wait sorry, there was that Queen of the Vampires with Aaliyah (rest in peace) that didn't draw any crowds.
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Mar 28, 2016 03:35
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Snapchat A Titty posted:E: Oh wait sorry, there was that Queen of the Vampires with Aaliyah (rest in peace) that didn't draw any crowds. That's one for the terrible movies thread - the option was about to run out, so they just made a piece of Ricesploitation as absolutely quickly and shoddily as they could. Here's a review from the extras.
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Mar 28, 2016 09:36
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Oh yes, I blocked out only revolutions. I'm a big House of Leaves fan(I enjoy it as a clever horror novel, not high literature or anything) so I was excited for only revolutions but that book is a hot mess. Still want to check out the familiar though
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Mar 28, 2016 12:05
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divabot posted:That's one for the terrible movies thread - the option was about to run out, so they just made a piece of Ricesploitation as absolutely quickly and shoddily as they could. Here's a review from the extras. Queen of the Damned was still a pretty terrible book. After Interview with a Vampire that series really went straight off the rails. The first sequel was The Vampire Lestat where he told his side of the story which, big surprise, was that he was actually secretly super awesome and all those times in the first book where he looked bad were actually him being extra good. The Queen of the Damned introduced all the stupid history of the vampires thing where they were made Egyptian for some reason and Lestat, being the best vampire ever, gets a huge power boost by drinking the blood of the first vampire. The third book also introduces the first straight male vampire but he doesn't actually have a personality or talk ever.
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Mar 28, 2016 12:29
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I got Only Revolutions for like four dollars new at a Borders and I feel like I overpaid. I've never tried reading it the "proper" way which is reading every seventh page then starting at the back and reading every fifth page or whatever absurdist way you're supposed to do it but seriously, what a mess. It's a shame because that kind of ultra-meta-surreal storytelling is a cool idea but I've never seen it done well on the scale Only Revolutions attempted.
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Mar 29, 2016 03:49
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Ryoshi posted:I got Only Revolutions for like four dollars new at a Borders and I feel like I overpaid. I've never tried reading it the "proper" way which is reading every seventh page then starting at the back and reading every fifth page or whatever absurdist way you're supposed to do it but seriously, what a mess. Only Revolutions reminds me of Tree of Codes by Jonathan Safran Foer, I don't know why though - maybe it's the randomness of words + one gimmick. Haven't read that one though as I don't really feel comfortable spending ~£150 on a book. Seeing Bruno Schulz on Amazon reminded me of another book - Ferdydurke by Witold Gombrowicz. While the book is semi-coherent, there's a lot of... stream of conciousness inclusions. But the biggest problem of the book is the rear end. rear end is used everywhere, to quote goodreads: quote:The translation of this novel, as the introduction will pound into your head, attempted to maintain Gombrowicz style and nuances as best as possible. This includes using a variety of diminutives and not translating certain key phrases, including many of the Latin and french idioms that would have been intentionally left untranslated in it's native polish. This choice also gives us a great new word that you will use constantly, probably to the annoyance of others, after this novel: 'the pupa' . The pupa is a very encompassing word that most often literally means the butt. Yes, assess play a large part of this novel. There are hilarious bits of 'mommy's and aunties' peeping through holes in the fence around the playground to talk amongst each other about 'what cute little pupas, pupas, pupas our little darlings have!'. The pupa is used very freely, often times standing in for various ideas of immaturity and youth. This novel is teeming with immaturity symbolism, so keep a sharp eye out. And to pre-answer a question "maybe he's writing about pupae?". Nope - he means rear end. Asses everywhere - https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=7MCrlZEQIpwC&q=pupa#v=snippet&q=pupa&f=false There's also a scene, which stuck in my mind, about the rape (albeit non-literal) through ears:  To get it out of the way - it's not a bad book; probably I should return to it at some point (don't know if I'll will though, as it's a heavy read, and for that I simply don't have time), but having read it in high school I found it bad - the scene is absurd, the plot is hard to follow and asses jump at you from everywhere. To quote the book: quote:From the pupa, however, there is absolutely no escape. edit: to clarify - he doesn't have obsession with asses, calves or mugs (other two appear as frequently). Those are symbols; taken literally though (and it's easy to take things literally when reading this book - that's my impression though from ~15 years ago) the book is grotesque. canis minor has a new favorite as of 13:12 on Mar 29, 2016 |
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Mar 29, 2016 13:03
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Ryoshi posted:I got Only Revolutions for like four dollars new at a Borders and I feel like I overpaid. I've never tried reading it the "proper" way which is reading every seventh page then starting at the back and reading every fifth page or whatever absurdist way you're supposed to do it but seriously, what a mess. Choose Your Own Adventure?
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Mar 29, 2016 13:13
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flosofl posted:Wha? That poo poo is straight up hard-core BSDM porn. I'm curious as to what kind of story is left after they sanitize it for TV. If you cut out all the whipping, bondage, and hard-core sex there's probably only 20 to 30 pages you can adapt out of few hundred. They made a movie of Exit to Eden (I dunno if it's related to the Sleeping Beauty novels, but it is more Anne Ramplingrice BDSM erotica). Except now it's a detective comedy. Starring Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Akyroyd.  
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Mar 29, 2016 13:46
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canis minor posted:Danielewski's Only Revolutions - while I loved House of Leaves, this is just unreadable: As an artistic exercise, I found it fascinating--exactly 180 words per page, 360 pages, rotating the book to get both sides of the story, etc. It was a really neat concept and executed fairly well, and I like that he included his fans by asking them to compile a timeline of historical events that he had printed along the side of every page. As a literary work, 
GOTTA STAY FAI has a new favorite as of 15:04 on Mar 29, 2016 |
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Mar 29, 2016 15:02
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I'm reading Ready Player One because of this thread and I Don't Even Own A Television. I'll report on it as I go.
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Apr 6, 2016 21:34
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grittyreboot posted:I'm reading Ready Player One because of this thread and I Don't Even Own A Television. I'll report on it as I go. How much do you hate yourself right now?
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Apr 6, 2016 22:11
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CroatianAlzheimers posted:How much do you hate yourself right now? And I just started on the sequel to Cory Doctorow's Little Brother, Homeland  So far, it's exactly what I expected it to be. I got the audiobook version, narrated by Wil Wheaton. It starts off with a preface narrated by the author, on the evils of DRM and why that means his book is not on Audible. Main character Marcus is still a stand-in for the author, same hobbies, same interests. At the beginning of the book, the main character up meets some of his biggest heroes (Founders of the EFF, and Wil Wheaton who is also there for some reason) and then they share some of those hobbies (Burning Man, D&D) together. The book is showing its age already though, TrueCrypt is no longer considered secure.
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Apr 6, 2016 22:41
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bringmyfishback posted:They made a movie of Exit to Eden (I dunno if it's related to the Sleeping Beauty novels, but it is more Anne Ramplingrice BDSM erotica). Except now it's a detective comedy. Starring Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Akyroyd. The movie that somehow managed to ruin the concept of putting Dana Delaney in skintight leather.
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Apr 6, 2016 23:57
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Senior Woodchuck posted:The movie that somehow managed to ruin the concept of putting Dana Delaney in skintight leather. Black leather just isn't a look that works for everyone. 
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Apr 7, 2016 01:33
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If the first 40 pages of Blood Infernal by James Rollins is any indication, this is Dan Brown on steroids. One of the protagonists has a book called the Blood Gospel which was written by Christ in his own blood; it gives her an RPG main questline where she has to reforge Lucifer's Chalice before he destroys the world, a vampire priest (one who repented from drinking blood by devoting himself to God and only drinking blessed wine  ) is searching through one of the deserts of Egypt for solidified drops of blood from a battle two thousand years ago when Satan tried to assassinate Jesus (when he was a baby) and was stopped by Gabriel. It just goes on like this.It's terrible and great. 
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Apr 20, 2016 18:58
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I'm re-reading Rendezvous with Rama and while that book is good it is just reminding me of how terrible the sequel (not written by Clarke) Rama II is. You know you're in for a "good" book when the opening is a lengthy prologue to explain how a book set hundreds of years in the future and previously shown to have mankind colonizing most of the solar system is just like the late 80s. With all the hoops Gentry Lee had to jump through to change the setting you have to wonder why he even bothered in the first place and why he didn't just make an entirely new setting just with a similar premise.
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Apr 20, 2016 22:14
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muscles like this? posted:I'm re-reading Rendezvous with Rama and while that book is good it is just reminding me of how terrible the sequel (not written by Clarke) Rama II is. You know you're in for a "good" book when the opening is a lengthy prologue to explain how a book set hundreds of years in the future and previously shown to have mankind colonizing most of the solar system is just like the late 80s. With all the hoops Gentry Lee had to jump through to change the setting you have to wonder why he even bothered in the first place and why he didn't just make an entirely new setting just with a similar premise. Oh god yes. To quote the OP (and myself): Lamprey Cannon posted:
I mean, they're up there with the Star Wars prequels and the Brian Herbert/Keven Anderson Dune novels in terms of "Doesn't understand the source material in the least", plus they've got all of Gentry Lee's weird sex stuff.
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Apr 20, 2016 23:07
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This American Life did a story recently about a teenage boy running away from home to try and live with Piers Anthony and thanks to this thread I spent the entire episode doing a slow motion noooo in my head.
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Apr 20, 2016 23:48
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I've gotta admit, Mafia hitman Lincoln sounds awesome.
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Apr 20, 2016 23:51
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Leavemywife posted:I've gotta admit, Mafia hitman Lincoln sounds awesome. For the right price, he'll emancipate the hit's brain from his skull.
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Apr 20, 2016 23:58
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I want you to imagine a man over 6'3, immensely hairy, wearing a suit and carrying a well-worn hatchet. "Vinnie's the rat," he says -- his voice is high and girlish -- "and when I find him, I'm gonna emancipate his head from his body."
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Apr 21, 2016 04:23
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Lamprey Cannon posted:Oh god yes. To quote the OP (and myself): The TEN billion names of God.
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Apr 21, 2016 04:53
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Al Cu Ad Solte posted:If the first 40 pages of Blood Infernal by James Rollins is any indication, this is Dan Brown on steroids. One of the protagonists has a book called the Blood Gospel which was written by Christ in his own blood; it gives her an RPG main questline where she has to reforge Lucifer's Chalice before he destroys the world, a vampire priest (one who repented from drinking blood by devoting himself to God and only drinking blessed wine gently caress I think I gotta read this now
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Apr 21, 2016 13:38
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Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:gently caress I think I gotta read this now It is shitmazing. I loved it for all the reasons I suspect the author wasn't aiming for.
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Apr 21, 2016 13:40
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RNG posted:The TEN billion names of God. Except that's a good short story.
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Apr 21, 2016 14:37
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Oh gently caress that is the END BOOK OF A TRILOGY OF SHITMAZING. God drat I gotta grab these.
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Apr 21, 2016 14:43
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I just randomly picked up Blood Infernal off a shelf at a grocery store and had no idea what to expect, so I just ordered the previous two books and I'm going to put this whole godamned stupid rear end trilogy right into my eyeballs and I can't wait.
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Apr 25, 2016 19:06
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James Rollins is good in a "dumb fun adventure story for when you can't or don't want to expend the brainpower on anything serious" kind of way. Or at least his Sigma Force novels are, which is basically Indiana Jones if instead of an archaeologist Indy was instead a team of special forces soldiers who are also scientists working for DARPA. I don't know about this vampire thing.Lamprey Cannon posted:Brian Herbert/Keven Anderson Dune novels Are the Frank Herbert Dune sequels any good? I'm about a third of the way through reading Dune for the first time now and I'm really digging it, I can't remember if I've heard that you're supposed to avoid all its sequels or just the ones by other people.
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Apr 25, 2016 19:57
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I enjoyed the first four Dune books but I haven't read beyond that. I liked the first and fourth books the most (for completely different reasons) while the second and third are merely okay, but they're kind of a necessary read to enjoy God Emperor.
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Apr 25, 2016 20:06
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WeaponGradeSadness posted:James Rollins is good in a "dumb fun adventure story for when you can't or don't want to expend the brainpower on anything serious" kind of way. Or at least his Sigma Force novels are, which is basically Indiana Jones if instead of an archaeologist Indy was instead a team of special forces soldiers who are also scientists working for DARPA. I don't know about this vampire thing. Frank's are good. It's all (sort of) one story that spans a huge amount of time, and each novel ties in with the others well. Keep in mind, though, that he was never able to finish the story he had planned, so the sixth book ends kind of abruptly and may or may not make a lot of sense. There are dozens upon dozens of theories about what the last chapter meant and how things might've played out in hypothetical future works, but nobody knows for sure, despite what his son has said about "finding lost notes about Dune7." Oh, by the way... Do not under any circumstances read any of the garbage put out by his son and that fan fiction author, be they prequels, sequels, whatever. Don't do it. Don't.
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Apr 25, 2016 20:14
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GOTTA STAY FAI posted:Do not under any circumstances read any of the garbage put out by his son and that fan fiction author https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/10/15/honesty-time
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Apr 25, 2016 20:21
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Dune and Children of Dune are great (I mean, you need to read dune messiah for children of dune but that one's mediocre) and past that it's still worth reading one or two but you lose nothing by stopping any time past children, imo. It really gets up its own rear end by the end of the series but Dune and Children of Dune are still two of my favourite books.
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Apr 25, 2016 20:39
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God Emperor was hilariously bizarre and I still can't tell whether it was intended to be as funny as it is.
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Apr 25, 2016 21:43
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Heath posted:God Emperor was hilariously bizarre and I still can't tell whether it was intended to be as funny as it is. Possibly  , now that I look back at it:Absurd Alhazred posted:http://i.imgur.com/Nhezls0.jpg
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Apr 25, 2016 21:51
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