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quote:That is one thing I will do differently with my daughter. She will grow up thinking we are poor. There is no reason she needs to know we have enough assets to live very comfortably, I want her to think that we have just enough to get by because it will teach her to value the money that she has. I also want to make sure that she knows we are this way because we choose to spend time with eachtoher rather than working all the time. Both my wife's and my parents worked demanding jobs as we grew up, so it resulted in us having "stuff" but no real relationship with them. I refuse to do this. It kills me that my daughter is in daycare full time while I finish school, but with a little luck I will be done by the time she goes to school so we can homeschool her. https://www.reddit.com/r/Frugal/comments/4gcj9c/could_you_come_up_with_400_if_disaster_struck/d2gn1os Emphasis mine
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Apr 26, 2016 00:55
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BarbarianElephant posted:That's too far in the opposite direction. That makes you seem like a skinflint. Just don't take a girl to a restaurant you can't afford. if you are broke, make the first date coffee at Starbucks or whatever. What if you're gay
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Apr 26, 2016 01:11
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Go for coffee dates and cheap poo poo until you know they're not in it just to treat you like an ATM, this is not rocket science. If you are otherwise respectful and interesting to be around, those who balk at you not dropping dough on them are filtering themselves out for you. Don't invite people out to expensive places if you're not paying, duh. Acting like a dickless wallet and being surprised when people take advantage of it is BWM and BWL.
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Apr 26, 2016 01:28
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Hashtag Banterzone posted:Emphasis mine
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Apr 26, 2016 01:48
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Hashtag Banterzone posted:https://www.reddit.com/r/Frugal/comments/4gcj9c/could_you_come_up_with_400_if_disaster_struck/d2gn1os She will grow up with no conception of what poverty actually is and will find it difficult to truly sympathize with the actual poor or contextualize her experiences. Thats just great.
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Apr 26, 2016 02:12
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Also probably develop an anxiety disorder because she'll never feel her family is stable. What a great idea. Has he considered how much money he could really save with a vasectomy?
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Apr 26, 2016 02:46
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Existing: BWM
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Apr 26, 2016 02:52
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NancyPants posted:Also probably develop an anxiety disorder because she'll never feel her family is stable. What a great idea. This. My parents, whether they meant to or not, used a similar tactic when I was growing up. When I was 8-10, my parents ordered pizza for lunch, and I asked if we could open a can of olives to sprinkle on top. My dad pitched a huge fit and stormed off, ranting about how I was going to eat us out of house and home (I was skinny as a rail when I was that age). And my parents weren't poor, either. My father made good money in IT (somewhere in the six-figures) and my mom also worked, though I don't know how much she pulled down at the time. Now I can't stop impulsively hoarding money in retirement accounts just to be able to sleep at night without worrying that I'll end up homeless someday. Basically what I'm getting at is, if you have kids, don't do this. Find a safe middle ground, or just sit your kids down and talk about your finances and how money works in the real world. Having a foundation of safety and security is pretty important in a child's formative years.
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Apr 26, 2016 02:57
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DACK FAYDEN posted:Didn't Mr. Money Mustache or one of the other FI people have a similar opinion? edit: didn't find that article, but did find this one: http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2015/05/20/what-im-teaching-my-son-about-money/ quote:In our household, money is an open subject without any attached baggage or taboos . Our 9-year old knows exactly how money is earned, what happens when you spend it (it’s gone), and what happens if you invest it instead (it works for you, for life). Cicero fucked around with this message at 03:10 on Apr 26, 2016 |
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Apr 26, 2016 02:59
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Hashtag Banterzone posted:https://www.reddit.com/r/Frugal/comments/4gcj9c/could_you_come_up_with_400_if_disaster_struck/d2gn1os I also like this part. I have no idea why every parent thinks they'd be the best teacher, or that their kid wouldn't want or need the social interaction that a school provides. I get that some school districts suck, but I think a lot of people think they are worse than they actually are. Your average person is going to be lousy at teaching past a relatively young age without some educational background. Stay dual income, ship kids off to school, good with money and life.
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Apr 26, 2016 03:12
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It's not that simple I think. I'm pretty tempted to homeschool my kids. I was never challenged in public school and it made me place all my worth in how fast I could pick something up which really put me through some emotional roller coasters and scrambling to learn actual learning techniques a bit in college and very much so in my doctoral studies. I've seen studies showing homeschooled adults aren't any less socialized than traditionally schooled adults - homeschooled adults tend to be socialized in volunteering environments around adults and therefore are less likely to be targeted by bullying which causes social anxiety in adulthood. Not to mention all public schools are supposed to let you enroll your homeschooled child into their extra-curriculars. I know some people pull it off with both parents still working full time. I don't know if I could manage that kind of sacrifice for my kids, but in the last 3 years I've watched one brother graduate from an amazing private school to go onto a top 3 ivy league with a full scholarship and one brother graduate from the best public school in the same area (with a long list of awards and high GPA/SAT as well, and better extra-curriculars) to be rejected from every reach school (many many of them). Our area is known for very good public system for the US, and I'm pretty appalled at what is considered 'very good' here in the US coming from a very competitive Canadian public system. I'm also planning on doing Montessori in the home so yeah I guess I'm turning into that bourgeois nightmare parent. Rurutia fucked around with this message at 03:24 on Apr 26, 2016 |
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Apr 26, 2016 03:21
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Anyone have a link to the story about the kid having terminal cancer or something and then the parents fraudulently took out loans in his name, hoping the debt would die with him but OOPS he beat cancer and now is $80k in debt?
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Apr 26, 2016 03:23
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Hashtag Banterzone posted:https://www.reddit.com/r/Frugal/comments/4gcj9c/could_you_come_up_with_400_if_disaster_struck/d2gn1os  How people define poor is bizarre.
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Apr 26, 2016 03:39
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Devian666 posted:The ultimate in buyers remorse. Surely he must do other ridiculous stuff, you need to get more information. I don't know him all that well, and aside from hopping between good jobs for bad reasons, the car thing seems to be it.
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Apr 26, 2016 03:48
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Suspicious Lump posted:If you can afford the basics, health food and some entertainment, you're not poor wtf I mean, I know people in the Bay Area who earn well a quarter of a million dollars who describe themselves as poor...
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Apr 26, 2016 03:50
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Cicero posted:I believe MMM has told his kid about them being financially independent. I seem to recall an article where he said his son wished that he was FI himself, too. This'n?
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Apr 26, 2016 04:16
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TwoSheds posted:This. My parents, whether they meant to or not, used a similar tactic when I was growing up. When I was 8-10, my parents ordered pizza for lunch, and I asked if we could open a can of olives to sprinkle on top. My dad pitched a huge fit and stormed off, ranting about how I was going to eat us out of house and home (I was skinny as a rail when I was that age). And my parents weren't poor, either. My father made good money in IT (somewhere in the six-figures) and my mom also worked, though I don't know how much she pulled down at the time. This is bad. quote:Now I can't stop impulsively hoarding money in retirement accounts just to be able to sleep at night without worrying that I'll end up homeless someday. This is good though.
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Apr 26, 2016 13:17
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Inverse Icarus posted:If I came back from the bathroom and there was a bottle of wine at the table I didn't order, I'd ask how much it cost. I mean I certainly hope I'd do that but real life has all these unexpected social pressures and poo poo that this girl is obviously good at taking advantage of and I'd probably just politely sit down and continue the meal (though definitely not go on more dates) Nail Rat posted:This is bad. See my dad was like that too but I got the opposite result in that I got the whole "gently caress u dad" thing and now I spend way too much money on way too much dumb garbage 
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Apr 26, 2016 15:09
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Hashtag Banterzone posted:https://www.reddit.com/r/Frugal/comments/4gcj9c/could_you_come_up_with_400_if_disaster_struck/d2gn1os Why can't people just be loving normal?
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Apr 26, 2016 15:17
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I don't get how they seriously think not spoiling their kids is acting like they are poor. I wouldn't shower my kids with bullshit that they are going to play with once and toss but I sure would let them do the things I never got to do when I was growing up - legitimately poor. Not having to use powdered milk and other goods from the foodbank is a real step up. Summer camps, sports, tutors, music, what ever they need to have a fun childhood that also helps them get a head in life. gently caress most of the consumer stuff though. It is just clutter.
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Apr 26, 2016 15:59
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Are allowances and chores no longer considered effective in teaching kids about work, money, and saving?
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Apr 26, 2016 18:22
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Golluk posted:Are allowances and chores no longer considered effective in teaching kids about work, money, and saving? Isn't it a little unfair to expect children to be better with money than their parents? - "Remember, Jimmy, once you've spent your money this week you won't get any more until next week, because that's how Real Life works. Also, the electricity's being cut off next week because your mother and I overspent on horse candles again."
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Apr 26, 2016 18:38
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so I could say that I finally figured out what this god damned cube is doing. Get well Lowtax.
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As the parent of a teenager, it isn't working. It's gone the second it hits her wallet. I think getting a summer job where you have to work your rear end off for minimum wage and adhere to a schedule and standards without the leeway a parent may offer you is a better education.
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Apr 26, 2016 18:38
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Paying for chores hurts the important sense of contributing to a shared household.
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Apr 26, 2016 18:42
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My parents taught me to be good with money by not giving me an allowance  It also meant that I had to plan months in advance to make sure I had the money for the newest Legend of Zelda game coming out, so I guess they taught me to plan for the future. It stuck with me, because as an adult I'm obsessive about saving.
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Apr 26, 2016 18:45
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Subjunctive posted:Paying for chores hurts the important sense of contributing to a shared household. We have a system of one chore a day for an allowance, and collaboration on bigger projects because "you live here too." So she puts away the dishes out of self interest, but helps me now the lawn or mop the floors because it needs to get done. No money for things like doing your own laundry or studying for SATs. She's also aware of budgeting and will ask "do we have any fun money left?" before proceeding to badger me for the thing she wants regardless.
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Apr 26, 2016 18:50
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Chorechat is great and all, but...from the Reddit files, I bring you a guy who got kicked out of medical school after racking up 350k in debt. https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/4gjs1k/350k_medical_school_loan_debt_no_degree_no_degree/ quote:I'm a screwup! I've been dismissed from med school after failing the step 1 board exam. I did ok during my first 2 years, but was crippled by procrastination, would end up waiting until a week before the exam to starting to seriously study. Anyway, I passed all of my classes, but mostly by last-minute memorization, not really learning the material. This really caught up to me in 2014, after my second year, when beginning 2 months of dedicated prep for step 1. Anyway, I could never seem to get started studying, I postponed step 1, lied about why to add extra time, failed on 1st attempt in May 2015, delayed for another year, then finally kicked out after postponing the exam again last month. Like I said, I'm a complete gently caress-up! So at this point I have $350,000 in student loan debt, $100k in private loans from undergrad and postbacc, the rest federal loans for medical school. I have a B.A. in Biology, which currently qualifies me for tech jobs paying ~35k, or teaching, with similar salaries. Do I have any options for a career to pay off this debt? I've considered pharmacy or PA programs, but would need to complete 1-2 years of pre-req courses, but I seriously doubt I'd be admitted if I disclose my medical school failure, with a 3.25 undergrad GPA. Do I have any options for escaping this complete mess I've made of my life?
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Apr 26, 2016 19:03
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I'm kind of impressed that he got into medical school at all with a 3.25gpa, and somehow didn't crash and burn for two years. At least he's bright enough to realize that pharmacy/PA programs don't want people who procrastinated their way out of med school.
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Apr 26, 2016 19:15
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Nail Rat posted:Chorechat is great and all, but...from the Reddit files, I bring you a guy who got kicked out of medical school after racking up 350k in debt. Correction: $450k in debt "I'm such a goofy screwup :iamafag:"
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Apr 26, 2016 19:15
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We've considered homeschooling our kid(s). I think conventional schooling is slow and soul-crushing, and the social benefits are exaggerated, since in real life you tend to be around mixed age groups where people are choosing, on some level, to be where they are, rather than grade school which is basically kid prison.Rurutia posted:It's not that simple I think. I'm pretty tempted to homeschool my kids. I was never challenged in public school and it made me place all my worth in how fast I could pick something up which really put me through some emotional roller coasters and scrambling to learn actual learning techniques a bit in college and very much so in my doctoral studies. I'm mormon, and when I was a missionary I had two partners who were homeschooled. Once was from a small town in Idaho where his family would only let their kids watch old black and white TV, whereas the other one was from LA and a huge movie buff. The former was very awkward and didn't really know how to interact normally, the latter guy was extremely charismatic/affable and everyone loved him.
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Apr 26, 2016 19:44
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The grade school system is so inherently flawed that i cant blame people who want to take their children's education in their own hands A high school diploma is definitely not worth 12 years of someone's life
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Apr 26, 2016 19:52
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On the other hand, you have to have somewhere to lock these little people up for most of the time because most households need two people working unless we really change our consumerist ways. And then there would be no bad for money stuff for anyone to post in this thread.
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Apr 26, 2016 19:53
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Parallel Paraplegic posted:Correction: $450k in debt No, it's 350. quote:So at this point I have $350,000 in student loan debt, $100k in private loans from undergrad and postbacc, the rest federal loans for medical school.
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Apr 26, 2016 20:06
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Cicero posted:We've considered homeschooling our kid(s). I think conventional schooling is slow and soul-crushing, and the social benefits are exaggerated, since in real life you tend to be around mixed age groups where people are choosing, on some level, to be where they are, rather than grade school which is basically kid prison. The biggest educational bang for buck is in the very early years. Invest a lot of time reading and talking to kids before three. It doesnt matter that they dont understand what youre saying, theyre trying to figure it out and thats the key. With enough early parent investment and continued support, school is only important for socialization and getting points for college applications. Good students with home support will be good students regardless of school or teacher. Kids who are behind or have weak home support though really benefit from good schools and strong student role models. Basically public education functions to try and set a minimum on achievement and isnt that great at getting kids to excel. Home support is more important there. Try not to rely on public schools to actually educate your kid if you can avoid it. But social skills are as important, if not more important, than straight up knowledge so don't overlook the socialization aspect of schooling. Engineers dont run poo poo and never will. Also what you call soul crushing is learning to put up with other peoples bullshit and discovering that the people in charge arent better or smarter and are just as petty and stupid as anyone else, but you still have to pretend to listen anyways because the world isnt fair. Its a good lesson thats hard to learn.
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Apr 26, 2016 20:07
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Super Dan posted:No, it's 350. However, it'll grow to 450 before too long because there's no way he can pay enough principal to keep it from doing so.
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Apr 26, 2016 21:00
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I mean really, what is there left to do with such a debt burden? Short of going on SSI disability for life, fleeing the country, or committing suicide?
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Apr 26, 2016 21:13
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If he somehow manages to get a public service job and gets PSLF in ten years, it's conceivable he could pay off his private by the time he's in his early to mid 40s. That's a long, hard road but it's probably his best course of action. Not many first world countries want a foreigner with no assets and no marketable skills, so fleeing the country is kind of tough too.
Nail Rat fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Apr 26, 2016 |
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Apr 26, 2016 21:17
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Just get any job on IBR for 20 years or whatever, plus or minus PSLF.
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Apr 26, 2016 21:47
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Wickerman posted:I mean really, what is there left to do with such a debt burden? Short of going on SSI disability for life, fleeing the country, or committing suicide? Won't the military pay off a big chunk? They always need combat medics and they can't collect his debts if he's shot in Syria or whatever.
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Apr 26, 2016 21:51
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Wickerman posted:I mean really, what is there left to do with such a debt burden? Short of going on SSI disability for life, fleeing the country, or committing suicide?  (I know it's not dischargeable)
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Apr 26, 2016 21:52
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