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I have to say that this game is reminding me heavily of 358/2 Days, in which there is some huge convoluted story involving some person who previously was never mentioned which seems to take up most of the story while the inevitable falling out between the protagonist and the evil faction is put off and bumped towards the end of the game unceremoniously.
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Mar 25, 2016 20:35
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That one-winged flying thing is the stupidest thing of this update. Even with the G copy. Ugh.
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Mar 25, 2016 22:45
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Chapter 13: They’ve Got A Gundam Down Here The time of flirting and mini-games is over! The time of killing things(and different mini-games) has begun! Also actual plot. You know, that thing that was still going on while Zack hosed off with Aerith. Music: Conflict  At some point Sephiroth walked his way back to Shinra tower and is murdering the poo poo out of dudes.  Cool guys don’t look back at enemies they explode.  Zack and Angeal come flying through a conveniently broken window and Zack is unceremoniously dumped off.   You’re late.Apparently the fact that Angeal has switched sides for the fourth time this game is not a big deal to Sephiroth who just rolls with it.  Between this and the world domination line at the end of Chapter 4 I can never bring myself to hate Angeal. Sure he’s going on about dreams and honor all the time, but he’s also a smart rear end. Humph.Oh, Sephiroth. Pull the Masamune out of your rear end. Which must be where he is hiding it? Sephiroth is the most guilty of abusing hammer space in this game. If Genesis is going to flourish his sword he usually arrives carrying it at least, though it is missing sometimes. Zack and Angeal keep their swords on their back. The devs just went “gently caress this noise” on trying to figure out how to sheath/attach Masamune without it being a clipping abomination though.  On to business. It is safe to assume Hollander has ordered Genesis to eliminate Hojo.  Hojo, the director of the Science Department? Yes. Then they’ll be targeting the Science Department floor upstairs. Forget about Hojo.  And then he just walks off. Well, nice seeing you again I guess. You’re in your usual mood, I see. Sephiroth, take the floors below. I’ll handle things outside. Zack. You go up. Hojo will be your responsibility. Understood. But we’re fighting side by side again, and that’s good enough for me.Music: The Skyscraper of Iron and Steel (from ''LAST ORDER FFVII'')  Seems like a great time to do some missions! The only thing of note is that in one of them in addition to the boss of it there is a Kactuar hanging out that is easy to miss because you need to circle past the boss without triggering his fight. This unlocks another mission leading to a summon.  Red Saucers are back. They now actually seem to have their Discharge attack which is kind of whatever. They die in two hits.  G Assailants are also back.  They at least give us a Cissnei memory.   Ngh… I missed up… Apparently she got trapped by Genesis copies a second time. Because this is in Loveless Ave, not the central part of Sector 8 where we saw her originally? Sometimes Memories are just weird and outright don’t fit the timeline we know happened.  Hrraaahhh!Hooray! Zack is here to help again! He charges forward and--   You were a little too late. Pretty good teamwork, huh? Hey, good ol’ lab and Jenova containment thing. She’s not home yet since she is currently stashed elsewhere at this point in the timeline. Up by the elevator we can snag an X-Potion and a Remedy.  When we head upstairs we find Hojo just chilling out at a very scientific looking machine.  Shh! Please, be more quiet… The building is under attack by the Genesis army. They may be after you, Professor Hojo.  In any case, we have to evacuate. Will you come with me? I like to imagine even back then Hojo was ready to juice himself with Jenova cells to survive if it came down to that and that is why he is so dismissive of Zack. Degrading monsters are nothing to fear. Are you talking about Genesis…? Indeed.  Unclassified life form? uh…Funnily enough that offhand comment makes Zack one of the most informed people on the planet about Jenova. Presumably Hollander, Genesis, and Sephiroth think it is an ancient if the notes we found in Reactor 5 are anything to go by. Your ignorance is of no consequence.  And now we just kind of hang out and gently caress around in Hojo’s lab until someone decides to put a knife in him or something.  Of course, how could we not mess with this random equipment in the lab of a guy who tried to kill us just last chapter. Aaagh!Huh. On second thought, maybe that was a bad idea.  And, now we are somehow in a desert of god knows where(the desert of you’ve been here 20 times in side missions)  I’m gonna pass out if I fight in this heat! ...Wait, what’s this!? This materia...it isn’t mine. Where did it come from? Well, no use thinking about it! Might as well use what I got!System: Experimental Materia Test Unit activated. Verifying experimental materia…  System: ...Experimental materia equipped. ...Sample monster deployed. ...User verification completed. Zack Fair SOLDIER 1st Class. Standing by… Commence experiment!  So apparently we get to rock out some test materia. The main thing of note is Proto Spellblade. It hits super hard in a wide area though it is a slow attack. (Not that it matters cause we’ll never see it again).  Funny enough we can actual level up this stuff.  So thirsty...I can barely see a thing… What’s gonna happen to me…? Am I gonna be stuck here...forever? How do I get home from here…? Ugh! Those guys again. Agh! Get away from mee!!! And then the screen just goes white and we are back in the lab. I see you are awake. I was just outside… I was able to gather some intriguing samples. But thanks to your excessive roughhousing, the rather expensive machine has been destroyed. I assumed you were familiar with virtual environments. Does SOLDIER not use them for training exercises? This was merely a test for a prototype materia. You will be responsible for the repair fees. 20% of your wages will be garnished every month. The debt should be paid off in roughly 10 years.Haha sucker! Zack hasn’t got paid by Shinra once this game. Twenty percent!? Ten years!? So yeah that has absolutely no gameplay effect going forward despite being an optional thing to do. It is fun though!  Not satisfied at breaking one machine today Zack goes to mess with another one that’s already out of order.  Basically it starts counting down from 5 seconds with a beep at each second. After 3 it stops displaying or sounding because it is broke and you need to hit X when the countdown would hit zero.  Depending on how good your timing is you can get up to 100 SP from this thing. It is so not worth your time though. The timing is super tight. And if you REALLY gently caress it up you can lose some SP.   Oh god, Zack. Don’t do it. He’s going to try to make you breed with something. Intriguing? Where? Professor, what… I warned you! Don’t be concerned. It’s merely a simple experiment. How can I not be concerned! Answer the following questions. Questions? Basically Hojo just does in fact have a few questions for us. Depending on how we answer them we’ll get varying amounts of SP.  Basically we just want to play to his ego for best results.  This one is kind of dumb luck to go with. But Hojo is a very “I do what I want, you’ll thank me later” kind of guy. Ahh...you are a most promising SOLDIER member. What’s this all about? In accordance with your wishes, I shall enhance your physical capabilities.And then we get blasted with searing white light. Aaaaaghhh! But hey, we got some SP out of it. Also we get a message about feeling slightly closer to Sephiroth. I thought I would feel more of a surge of power, or something. That’s just the limit of your cellular structure. Or perhaps you would like to be altered to the point of degradation?   Ok one last piece of fancy machinery for Zack to mess with! Third time’s the charm, right? Wh-what’s that noise? You released some test sample monsters onto the lower floor. Monsters!? They were too ferocious to be of any use. I was just about to get rid of them. The timing could not have been better. Take responsibility, and dispose of the samples. Who, me!? After how the rest of this day has gone, I’m not sure I want to know about things Hojo considers interesting. The detention cells on the 67th floor are currently being used as storage for surplus recovery items. The monsters you released each hold a Jail Cell Key for those cells. There may be some useful items lying around in those storage cells. If you’re interested, try to get the keys from the monsters. However, you’ll have to figure out how to get the keys from them first.Jesus, Hojo. You can let someone get a word in edgewise. I think he has the longest and second longest speech from any character at this point. Getting a Jail Cell Key from a monster, huh?...Also, Hojo. Why did you give monsters Jail Cell Keys? Maybe he is running some sort of life or death game show on the science floor. Get the monster key and get fabulous prizes! Fail to get it and get devoured! I could see it.  So we have three minutes to get the job done. It is plenty though. If we DON’T make it we get gassed along with the critters. If you can dispose of the monsters within that time, you are free to look around in the cells. Now get to it. I don’t have all day. Tranquilizer gas…? You’re not gonna tranquilize me as well, are you?Oh yeah he would. FOR SCIENCE. well, I just have to take the monsters out within three minutes, right? This will be a good test of your SOLDIER abilities… heh heh heh. These must be the test samples. I guess I’ll have to take care of them.  What…? Hey! Where are you going!? My SOLDIER pride is at stake here! Basically the Blood Tastes just kind of hang out in a static point in the hallway and we run into them to fight.  And that’s how you get your keys! Also time is stopped during battles. The three minutes is really pretty generous. Also technically this is experiment 97 but whatever.  FUN FACT: You can roll a Limit break before you can steal the Key and you are boned from getting it!   So here is where the Cursed Ring can be actually handy! With it on we can’t roll limit breaks so no chance of accidentally nuking the dumb bastards.   If we didn’t get all six keys we’d have to choose which cells to open(The ones that Cloud and company got locked away in)  Each room has 4ish chests in it, so we get a PILE of poo poo from these rooms. And from the clock you can see I’ll spend more time looting than I did hunting down the experiments. All told we get: Cell 1: Ether, Silence (M), ATK Up (M) Cell 2: Cure (M), 2000 Gil, 500 Gil Cell 3: Potion, HP Up (M), Blizzard (M) Cell 4: Hi-Potion, 2 Gil(???), Remedy Cell 5: Fire (M), Potion, Hi-Potion Cell 6: Soma, Thunder (M), 3000 Gil So if you missed out on an ATK Up from the numbers game here’s your chance for one.  ho, ho… You disposed of the samples, and you ransacked all the cells as well. Heh heh heh… I’ll have to accept you as a 1st. The data you provided was somewhat interesting. You may keep any items you found as a reward. But I have locked all of the cells again, so there will be no more poking about.   You don’t know the half of it buddy. On the upside we are done with random crap to do and it is about time to kick off the fireworks. It’s a good time to heal up and get rid of Curse if you used the ring. Also take off the ring. I didn’t forget to do that the first time, nosiree.  I wouldn’t say that, but… Did you not say I may have unwanted company? Are you prepared to defend this brilliant mind with your life? Basically this is a prompt for us to verify we want to move forward. This stuff we’ve been doing is all actually optional and talking to Hojo would have let us skip it all.  Fourth time this chapter, Zack! God! Heh heh heh… Most encouraging. I won’t abide any losses to some second-rate scientist’s creation. Hm…? Click to Watch  Hojo has no fucks to give about a sword armed man flying down from the ceiling and threatening him. You think that if you obey Hollander, he’ll stop your body from degrading, is that it? Also this is another one of those scenes that has strangely terrible quality. It’s like they lost the originals and didn’t notice until the last minute and had to use a version that had been uploaded to youtube. Genesis! Zack just pops into existence from the direction of the sample chamber. From the earlier angle we can see he wasn’t actually there until just now when he runs in from offscreen! Hahahaha! A second-rate hack like Hollander couldn’t cure a cold! Hey look who decided to join the party. Ah, what do we have here?  The arrow has left the bow of the goddess The entire cast of Hollander’s freak show! Shut up you! Loveless. Act IV. Everyone else goes “Huh!?” And turn to look at Hojo like “What the gently caress?” And no, don’t worry Hojo won’t start spouting poetry. An ancient epic. Hojo, you aren’t such a bad guy afterall. You know if loving HOJO thinks the whole thing is dumb bullshit, it is really dumb bullshit. How does the duel end? Unknown. The last act is missing, and yet to be discovered.  One of which is apparently a fireball.  And he just fucks off out the hole he just opened. Well, that was pretty anti-climactic. Hey! Hold, it Genesis! More ridiculous winged flying!  Genesis is really in peak Loveless BS mode this chapter. Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey in my own salvation. And your eternal slumber.  Gasp! Once again Genesis is dropping a summon on top of us instead of facing us head on. He’s summoning again!  Zack, I leave this to you. Huh? You can do this, trust me. Don’t leave me here! Up in the sky Genesis and Angeal are having at it. For once Angeal is actually using the Buster Sword.  And then the phone rings. At least this summon is taking a long time to go off I guess? Music: The Summoned (from FFVII ''Those Who Fight Further'') Listen, can I call you back later?  I’d imagine the random citizens of Midgar are making GBS threads their pants right now.  Hey, Bahamut. You are looking a little Gundam and Blinged out these days.   And once again we are more likely to get Aerith as our Limit Break.  Click to Watch the Boss Fight Meet our next boss, Bahamut Fury! I wasn’t joking in the least about im being a Gundam. He even has funnels he can use against us. He still has the swipe attack from OG Bahamut but he always just hangs out on the edge of the arena instead of flying around.  Hexafang fires the funnels away from his back and pummels them into the ground wherever Zack is standing. It’s a lot of hits so you should really block through it. Blocking: Still brokenly good.  Aerith decides to give us a hand out and peg our HP/AP/MP and give us a bit of Invincibility.  Fire gets mastered during that but it is godawful in this fight. I can punch him for about 800.  Cissnei decides to join in on the fun!  While I’m pounding away with criticals Bahamut Fury uses Cluster Sphere.  Basically it fires three big glowy projectiles at us. My Invincibility ran out right when I was about to get hit. Woops! It hits pretty hard, almost half our HP.  Thanks to Cissnei giving us Heavenly limit status we get Aerith’s limit AGAIN. And a memory to boot.  Is something wrong? It’s just so...cluttered.  Unfortunately, I feel right at home! Hooray! I knew you’d say that!   And with that Bahamut Fury goes down! Yeah I accidentally killed him so fast he never even got to use his signature attack. WOOPS. Let’s rewind a bit.  Fury does not bother with giga, terra, or even petaflares. He goes straight to Exaflare. Status: Still a gundam.  He fires off his funnels  Which makes some sort of energy ring around the moon.  Which he fires a gently caress off golden beam towards.  Yeah, sure why not weaponize the ENTIRE FREAKING MOON.  Also possibly destroy or severely gently caress it up. This is basically Supernova Beta.  RIP that part of the continent.  Or just the bit of the roof that is floating in Summon Space.   Holy poo poo snacks that stings. Once again Exaflare is gravity based so can’t kill you but boy howdy will it chew through all your resources. Like the Bahamut rematch it also knocks down AP and MP.  And now back to our schedule. Chunks of Bahamut fury are falling off him.  And he explodes.  Glowing bits of whatever make up a Summon are floating over the helipad.  But nothing else is to be seen.  And with that five chapters are down! Bonus Crap!  Tseng Memory. This one is pretty great  Angeal Memory. This one is still kind of dumb Cissnei Memory  Exaflare Nashun fucked around with this message at 02:23 on Mar 26, 2016 |
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Mar 26, 2016 02:18
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What I got from this chapter is that there's a section of Loveless that talks about dreams and honor, and I imagine that's why Angeal is always talking about it. Go figure that Hojo is the one dishing out all of the sick burns this chapter. Also, that has to be the weakest murder attempt ever.
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Mar 26, 2016 03:18
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I think I agree with the sentiment about Hojo and talking poo poo about Loveless. None of Genesis' quotes have been particularly profound up until now, no reason to suspect the rest of it's any better.
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Mar 26, 2016 03:35
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I don't remember anything about Bahamut Fury. I also never knew that the Hojo scenes existed. This game is strangely memorable yet forgettable at the same time.
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Mar 26, 2016 19:10
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Here's a no-prize explanation for the Cissnei memory discrepancy: FFVII is to some extent about the unreliability of memories, so it's entirely thematically appropriate for Zack's flashbacks to be inaccurate.
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Mar 27, 2016 13:56
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Wow. Hojo just gives absolutely zero fucks. I always... respected that about the man, at least.
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Mar 28, 2016 02:55
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As far as Hojo is concerned the only time he has been wrong was the time he thought he might have been wrong. You really have to admire that sort of monomaniacal confidence like that to a certain extent. Oh, SURE it makes them a terrible person but by god they get things done. Hojo has done more to show the lows of ethics in science than any other 10 people combined!
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Mar 28, 2016 03:02
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I'm pretty sure you have to skirt the low of ethics to even be employed by ShinRa.
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Mar 28, 2016 04:30
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Reeve was ethical. He just had OTHER mental issues to deal with. Considering his ties with Dirge it is actually surprisingly we won't come across him directly in Crisis Core. Also god drat Chapter 5 has a poo poo ton of extra crap to do in it before the main mission. I think I'm just breaking it up and putting some at the end of each other update so it's not unbearable.
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Mar 29, 2016 03:57
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So did this LP die? I would be sad.
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Apr 21, 2016 01:51
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Kalenn Istarion posted:So did this LP die? I would be sad. I hope not, this LP was really good.
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Apr 21, 2016 03:49
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Been a wonky few weeks IRL. I fully intend to carry on and should actually have an update tomorrow. Sorry for lack of updates!
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Apr 21, 2016 04:05
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Nashun posted:Been a wonky few weeks IRL. I fully intend to carry on and should actually have an update tomorrow. Sorry for lack of updates! Thanks for letting us know!
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Apr 21, 2016 04:32
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Nashun posted:Been a wonky few weeks IRL. I fully intend to carry on and should actually have an update tomorrow. Sorry for lack of updates! Awesome! Can't wait. Love LPs like this.
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Apr 21, 2016 21:32
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Chapter 14: Classified Ads Been a while! So as a recap: Zack and Aerith met and are kind of sort of dating after knowing each other for about 4 hours. Professor Hollander is a gently caress up even by Shinra standards and Genesis is dying off young from hosed up genes. Also we killed Bahamut again while Angeal and Genesis vanished while fighting. Because Angeal has switched sides again! But onto the show. Music: The Mako City  Luxiere: Who are you trying to call? Don’t be too confused if you don’t recognize the name. Luxiere just kind of shows up with no fanfare this chapter. He and Zack seem to know each other fairly well and we’ll start getting mail from him as well. He’s more of the regular ground pounder SOLDIER view to go with Kunsel’s insider stuff. Sephiroth. I haven’t been able to reach him in ages.Luxiere: Haven’t you heard?  ...Although Luxiere still knows more than Zack does as a first. Luxiere: Handsets are prohibited in the data room, so there’s not much you can do. Data room?Luxiere: He is apparently researching the history of the Shinra Science Department. Oh… Um, I wanted to ask… When will you make it for me? Make wha...oh! The flower wagon, did you forget? No, of course I didn’t forget! Hold on, I’ll be right there.As usual we’re about to get very distracted. This chapter is really overkill on side missions and random rear end missions to do. Hey, at least we are disappointing our girlfriend instead of our boss this time! Wait, that’s not quite right…  We swing by the Materia room because I realize I forgot to talk to these guys after picking up the mako stones from the missions they gave us. Researcher: That’s why locales rich in mako become sites for new mako reactors. Though you’ll find opposition in droves. Even the war with Wutai had its origins in Wutai being named as a reactor site.  Researcher: ...that he was going to blast the Shinra Building to hell someday. Now, maybe that was drinks talking, but I guess he meant what he said… Remember folks. If you see something, say something.  Researcher: Wait! What do you have there? Is that a sample of SPR Mako Stone? If you’d hand that over to us, we can generate materia out of it! If you’d like you’re welcome to stay and watch us generate materia.  Click to Watch Music: On the Verge of Assault Yes. This does involve battle music kicking in. This is just too silly and overdramatic not to make a video for. Researcher: All hands! Confirm status! Researcher 2: Ready, sir! Researcher 3: Main engine on standby! Ready when you are!  Researcher 2: Concentration rate at 20...30...40… Steady at 50%, sir! Researcher: Increase main engine output! The first 30 seconds into concentration is critical! Researcher 3: Aye-aye, sir! Researcher 2: Output, 80% and rising!  Critical. Exclamation. Marks...Reached, sir! Researcher: Grr! Ready cooling system! Increase mako energy output to maximum! Researcher 3: Output at 120%! 1 minute left until we reach the critical point! Researcher 2: Mako energy concentration rate is rising! 70...80...90% and still going up! Researcher: All RIght! Hang on, we’re almost there!  Researcher: Stop main engine! Researcher 2: Main engine stop confirmed! Gentleman, we have our materia!!!  Researcher: Here’s the materia. And none too shabby! It was made from your mako stone, so this materia is yours. It’s actually been a while since we made any materia here in the Materia Room. We have our share of problems, too. -End Video- For our effort in materia hunting and watching SCIENCE be performed we get an Esuna. Which I already have, but whatever maybe I’ll fuse it into something. We also get a Poison, Silence, Gravity. After we do a few of these he has something new to say to us. Researcher: Thanks for visiting us again. But it looks like the Materia Room’s not long for this world. You see, Arms Development under Director Scarlet is spearheading materia R&D. But we belong to the SOLDIER Department. And we’re not performing because we’re low on funds and understaffed...unlike Arms Development.  Researcher: In fact, we’re supplying other SOLDIER members with copies of the new materia we make for you. If we keep churning out high-quality materia, maybe that would change the Materia Room’s reputation…   At some point I find a Tonberry in a side mission. He must be murdered so we can find more Tonberries later. Highlights include slowly walking, stabbing at us with a cleaver, and 10,000 HP. Somewhere around there I hit level 20 as well.  Receptionist: So you were born in Gongaga, you’re 6’3”, you’re an only child, and you like to do squats… Hmmm, interesting… What? Oh, it’s nothing. Ahahahaha! Well, THAT wasn’t creepy at all. Also why does it seem the instant you get a girlfriend all kinds of other women are interested as well?  City Planning Director: I’ll tell you what.  poo poo, son. You’ve got me sold with a delivery like that. City Planning Secretary: Though known as the world’s greatest commercial city, Midgar still has many problems that need to be addressed. Urban decay beneath the plate and increasing mako energy consumption are just some of those problems. City Planning Director: We at the City Planning Dept. are committed to improving the lives of Midgar citizens.  City Planning Director: Would SOLDIER be interested in extending a helping hand? Midgar’s urban development, huh? Sure, I’d be happy to help you guys. Just let me know whenever you need me. SOLDIER really is a flexible workplace. They are like the Google of oppressive military dictatorships. You can work on any project you like as long as it helps the company!  City Planning Secretary: Isn’t he inspiring? (Well, he’s actually a daydreamer, which isn’t really the same as having big dreams..) You know, with how much they loved throwing in references and cameos I’m really surprised this isn’t Reeve giving us this mission line.  Infantryman: But inspections have been made difficult lately due to the presence of monsters in the areas surrounding Midgar, sir! I must admit that I am concerned for my fellow troops who have been assigned to escort the inspectors, sir! Though we don’t actually agree to anything this gets us a quest for hunting monsters in Midgar. There is a WHOLE series of these we get from various dorks around the city. We need to find and do them all for a special reward.  SOLDIER 2nd Class: With Genesis behind the incident, he’s taking the heat from the Security Department. I also get around to doing the next mission for that SOLDIER 3rd that was down in the dumps and thinking of leaving SOLDIER.  Glad to hear it! So you’re ready to take on the next mission yourself, right?SOLDIER 3rd Class: ...Well, knowing me, I’m probably gonna screw something up again… Maybe I should write to Ma and Pa back home about how cold city life is…  SOLDIER 3rd Class: Really!? *sigh* What have I gotten myself into…Today someone learns a valuable lesson about saying no.  Good! Then you’re ready. You go on your next mission yourself, okay?SOLDIER 3rd Class: Yes. You’re right. I can’t argue with you, Zack. You can do it. You’re in SOLDIER. You have to believe in yourself  . What the-- Oh, fine, I get it! But this next one is going to be the last! SOLDIER 3rd Class: I’m so sorry… *whimper* Seriously, how did Cloud NOT make the cut for SOLDIER? SOLDIER 3rd Class: Thank you, Zack! I’m taking in so much information by watching!  Also this guy is totally leeching on our XP. He’s up to level 4 now and hasn’t fought a thing. What a jerk. SOLDIER 3rd Class: I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I’ve decided to go myself! Ah! So you’re finally up for it?SOLDIER 3rd Class: ...But I would like to see you in action just one last time!  SOLDIER 3rd Class: You’ve become my Idol, Zack! I want to become a SOLDIER operative just like you! Aww, you don’t have to take it that far. All right. I’ll help you out one last time. SOLDIER 3rd Class: Thank you so much!  SOLDIER 3rd Class: I’m forever in your debt, boss. Whoa, you’ve certainly toughened up, haven’t you?SOLDIER 3rd Class: Yes, sorry. I mean… Yeah, boss! I’m on my way to my next job to show those nincompoops who’s boss, boss!  SOLDIER 3rd Class: Till we meet again, Boss! Now he reminds me of all the soldiers on Motherbase in MGS5 that thank you for beating the poo poo out of them. He even is a faceless mook! He doesn’t have a sweet codename like Striking Mongoose though.  ...No further comment needed.  Well, seems that didn’t go over so well. Although I’m really going to blame this one on Shinra deploying the wrong asset for the job. If it’s rated Hard for Zack it’s suicide for a 3rd Class.  Hey, it was too bad about last time. But it even happens to the best of us. That’s a lie, Zack! Though I guess if it wasn’t for the nice potion lady that would be true. SOLDIER 3rd Class: Hmph… That was a situation where my lack of combat experience impacted my performance. Things don’t happen on the battlefield the way you imagined they would, theoretically.   Uhh...okay. SOLDIER 3rd Class: Farewell.  ...Someone really needs to fire this dispatcher.  We need to go back to the briefing room to have a chat with the poor guy this time. What happened? SOLDIER 3rd Class: You’ve taught me a lot, Zack, but I’m still screwing up. I just don’t think I have what it takes to be in SOLDIER...  SOLDIER 3rd Class: I’ve decided to quite SOLDIER and go back home…  SOLDIER 3rd Class: Yes… I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused you. SOLDIER 2nd Class: Did you find out the most important thing about being a SOLDIER operative? SOLDIER 3rd Class: ...No, I never did. But I do know what it is that kept me going until today.  SOLDIER 3rd Class: That was the dream that kept me going this far. SOLDIER 2nd Class: Hm… there was something my mentor used to tell me when I was a rookie.  SOLDIER 3rd Class: “Embrace your dreams”? SOLDIER 2nd Class: My mentor used to help me with my missions just like Zack helped you with yours. Wait a minute, could that mentor be...?No, Zack, it’s the other SOLDIER 1st that talks about dreams and honor. SOLDIER 2nd Class: The most important thing about being a SOLDIER operative… is to embrace your dreams. My mentor taught me that. SOLDIER 3rd Class: ...To embrace my dreams…  ...Thanks? This will go great on...my..car? Well, maybe I’ll own one someday after I pay off the science dept. for Hojo’s machine. It’s kind of weird that this scene is stuffed behind what is a pretty missable mission line. I think it’s pretty important to where Zack is going as a character. As a first class he’s more than just a guy that cut things in half, he’s an important part of the machinery of SOLDIER. From here on out he is a mentor to the lower ranked troops and someone they look up to and respect. Angeal isn’t really in a spot where he can be the soul of SOLDIER any more, Sephiroth is too distant for most people, so Zack is forced to take on that mantle. But now, what everyone has been waiting for with baited breath. SQUATS  Researcher: It’s important that we get accurate evaluations of your physical abilities. Are you ready to take the test?  It’s less COMPLEX than the FF7 mini game, but it gets more difficult. Basically at the right point in the downstroke you press X.   Our first opponent is a standard Shinra Infantrymen.  Every five squats in a row you successfully do you get this message! And Zack starts doing the squats faster until you do another five or you screw up. There are 3 speed ups total if I remember right. Messing up takes you all the way to the starting speed.  Got 31 this time! Took me quite a few to really get the flow down again. We only needed 21 to beat the Infantrymen.  Man this is just the update of weird quest rewards.  Next time we need to beat a Shinra Captain. We only need to beat 29 and he gives us a Shinra Ceramic. This may sound like armor, but it is not! And you’ll probably be confused when you can’t find it in your equipment list.  Finally some real competition! SOLDIER 2nd Class takes 41 squats to beat. You can mess up a little bit here, but not consistently. We get some Shinra Treads from him. Nope, not boots and not accessories! Just more random poo poo to keep in the bag.  Click to Watch You have very little wiggle room on screwing up on this one. You can mess up early, or you can mess up really late, but you can’t mess up in the middle. If you do before you get to full speed and stay there for a while you’ll never be able to get to the 52 squats you need to beat the Soldier 2nd Class.    Well, it actually says that after every successful squat race, but it is way more fun to save that to the end. Also we get some Shinra Solder? I guess Zack is ready in case he gets into Raspberry Pis and microcontrollers or something. Next time! We hunt the mysterious Nashun fucked around with this message at 02:33 on Apr 22, 2016 |
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Apr 22, 2016 01:02
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I'm glad the game acknowledges the true reward of all those squats
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Apr 22, 2016 02:03
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I always assumed Cloud didn't make SOLIDER because he was incompatible with Mako-infusing rather than his skill. But I may be misremembering/making poo poo up.
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Apr 22, 2016 02:08
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hopeandjoy posted:I always assumed Cloud didn't make SOLIDER because he was incompatible with Mako-infusing rather than his skill. But I may be misremembering/making poo poo up. You would be correct. Granted, I can't get explain it more, due to it being spoilers, though.
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Apr 22, 2016 02:26
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... So what I'm getting from this is the fastest way to rise through the ranks in Shinra is to be Squat master.
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Apr 22, 2016 02:27
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...are we collecting random materials for Aerith to bang together into a cart?
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Apr 22, 2016 02:28
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Glazius posted:...are we collecting random materials for Aerith to bang together into a cart? Of course not! Zach is going to do the banging! Wait... that came out wrong.
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Apr 22, 2016 03:03
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I hope it becomes a minigame where you customize a flower cart for speed and maneuverability, and the race other flower carts around the streets.
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Apr 22, 2016 03:23
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I never knew half of this content existed. How much have I missed? 
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Apr 22, 2016 16:32
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How many more chapters are in this game, There's only one more MYSTERY PERSON WHO WE DON'T KNOW to plop on our brain slot machine, does it pull an FFXIII and make one chapter take 14 hours?
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Apr 22, 2016 16:45
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11 chapters total. Final mystery character will show once our real mission starts this chapter. Things really start moving soon
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Apr 22, 2016 18:01
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Silegna posted:You would be correct. Granted, I can't get explain it more, due to it being spoilers, though. Well, we already know from FF7 that whatever the gently caress Hojo did to him affected him WAY more than it did Zack, so...he's either very incompatible with MAKO, or he's super compatible. I'd guess the former, since Jenova Juice is made from ALIENS.
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Apr 22, 2016 18:38
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Should have another update tonight. Still aiming for two a week but the days are going to be a lot less stable about when they come out. Thursday is probably a good bet, the other one will be ???
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Apr 26, 2016 21:16
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Chapter 15: Further Adventures in Part Time Jobs Despite doing a lot last time, very little of it was actually important other than getting some sweet leg muscles. Why don’t we give a check on Lazard, the ol’ boy sounded like he was having a rough time of it.  No, not really.Well, hopefully Lazard can drive this conversation because apparently Zack just wanted to bug his boss for no real purpose.  I’m sorry, but I’m rather tied up at the moment. The attacks on our building have created far too many issues I must attend to.  Sounds like a hassle. Security is busy getting ready to annihilate both Angeal and Genesis.Hope they have a lot of boxes ready to bury the dead THAT mission will cause.  ...He is still a risk factor. At least that’s how the company views him. If that’s the way things have to be around here, I’m leaving the company…Smartest thing Zack has ever said. Obviously he’ll never act on it though. Hehe… There’s always a high price to pay for freedom. have you ever thought that, Director? Have you ever wanted to leave the company? Never. Not once.  when you are trying to realize a truly worthy goal, obstacles and difficulties don’t amount to anything. What sort of “goal” are you talking about? Never mind. That’s enough chitchat for now. I must get back to work. Probably for the best. We know the rate at which Zack learns things. Lazard just doesn’t have that kind of free time.  Ah, friend Heidegger. I’m ok without seeing your ugly face in person this game.  So 10 mini-quests ago we told Aerith we’d swing by and help with the flower wagon. Of course nothing ever goes according to plan in this game. Where have you been!? Apologies. But, I am a busy man.  Has something happened? Not really. He’s just been holed up in the data room, reading old reports and such.  Conveniently there is no one in the thriving slum market while we are talking to the guy with a giant wing sticking out of his back. Hey! Now where are you off to? I just don’t know with you, these days. Genesis and Hollander are in Modeoheim.  I do wonder what a guy wanted by everyone important with exactly 2 friends to his name does in his spare time. I’m still SOLDIER at heart I suppose. I’ve informed Lazard as well. They’ll come pick you up soon. Well, I guess we finally have a goal for the chapter! Not that will stop us from bugging more people for work.  What’s wrong? Are you looking for someone?Girl: No I’m waiting for Uncle to come back. I heard there are a lot of monsters outside Midgar.  and he hasn’t come back, huh? Girl: He IS coming back! If I keep waiting here, he has to come back… Girl: Uncle’s really nice. When I told him I wanted to marry him, he smiled and said okay… He’ll be back soon, you just have to keep believing. Girl: Yeah… Keep this conversation in mind so you can be properly horrified in a few updates! Also we got another job to clean out monsters from Midgar from talking to her.  Zack, it’s the Shinra building. Maybe he’s on break. I mean, you went on a date with a girl you just met while your headquarters was literally on fire. You don’t have much room to talk here. Researcher: You Science Department puppets are not allowed to speak to me. What? Puppets? Did you say “puppets”!? You’d better not be talking about SOLDIER, pal! Hey! We’re out there fighting all over the world to defend Midgar! Fighting to protect you! I’d say my contributions to the world outweigh those of a geek sitting at his desk reading all day!  Researcher: Let me ask one question. Shoot. Huh? What’s up?While we answer the phone the researcher just peaces out on us.  Have you heard? About the recent monster outbreaks in Midgar and Kalm? Sure. Everyone’s talking about them.  Really? You mean the monsters broke out of Shinra’s cages? Come on. Do you really think they could make it through this building’s security by themselves? Then that can only mean..HOJO! If in doubt always blame Hojo when science is involved.  You could be called in, too. But keep all this to yourself for now. Right. Got it. Shinra’s monsters… What’s happening to this place?And now to actually do all those side missions we vacuumed up. We’ll head right back to the Researcher because he’s the only thing that REALLY says anything exciting.  I kind of like how neither side of this conversation has no respect for each other. The scientist basically thinks SOLDIER is a bunch of kids playing with their swords at a game though don’t understand. Zack thinks the scientist is a giant dork with no concept what the reality of a guy fighting on the ground is. Researcher: If I were in your shoes, I would find it unbearable to have to fight for Shinra  Researcher: Have you ever heard of the term… “Cetra”? Cetra? No, can’t say that I have.  Researcher: It is said that the Promised Land is fertile with an overabundance of mako energy. So if the Promised Land becomes ours, we would have all the energy we needed, without mako reactors. The Cetra are thought to know the location of this wonderful Promised Land. Sounds like a fairy tale to me.  They also invested money into researching the Gift of the Goddess and see where THAT got them. Researcher: Even if it means means making the most inhuman sacrifices. I’m not getting you, Doc. What are you talking about?Researcher: My point is this…   Whoa-whoa. What’s going on? We now know that he has been releasing test monsters from Professor Hojo’s laboratory with the intention of them attacking Midgar. Why would you do a thing like that!? Researcher: The time has come to atone for our sins. Nothing less, nothing more. you’re not making any sense! You want to destroy Midgar to atone for your sins? Researcher: To atone for that, we could destroy Midgar twice and it still would not be enough.   He was always a well-respected member of the department. What could have happened to him…?He’s kind of a huge hypocrite, but it is nice seeing a scientist within Shinra realizing what utter fucks they are. Aerith still exists but she’ll never be Ifalna, and even if she has kids they’ll be even less Cetra than her. Shinra may have been able to make a real difference if they weren’t comic book villains in their handling of Ifalna. Instead they used her to make weapons and do hosed up research products that were killing the planet so they could have a short term gain. Basically at this point between what Shinra’s done to the planet and basically causing the extinction of the Cetra any normal folk caught in the crossfire of taking down Shinra is a rounding error to him.  ...I’m not even sure where we gets these from. Maybe the Researcher was carrying them around and we stole them from his intake locker.  After that nice chat we clearly need more Fan Club time! Genesis Fan: First, Genesis gets killed in action, and now our merch is making lousy sales… I...I...I just don’t know what to do! I’ve gotta run!  Angeal Fan: I wanted to continue our activities in honor of Angeal, who watches over us from heaven, but I don’t see any more hope in life. Please leave me alone for a while. I guess I can see how these people feel. People have certainly been having a rough time of it with all the cool celebrities dying this year. David Bowie and Prince are way cooler than Angeal and Gackt will ever be though   Son: I thought Mom would come back for sure this time, but now she’s so depressed, she can’t do anything. I didn’t like it when she did nothing around the house, but seeing her like that is even worse…  Sephiroth Fan: It’s apparently comprised of only select members out of the hardcorest of the hardcore fans. I hear the members get insider information and rare photos that ordinary fans could never get. I’m going to join the Silver Elite, no matter what it takes!  Reporter: ...Oh, I thought you were with the Shinra army. Someone’s after me, so I’m hiding out. I don’t want to look suspicious. Please, go away! The first thing I do when wanted by an organization is to tell people from that organization that weren’t aware of me is that they should be after me. Reporter: ...You’re SOLDIER!? The continuing trend of “Everybody loving splooges themselves over SOLDIER members or wants to grow up to be in SOLDIER” vs. “nobody has any loving idea what SOLDIER looks like apparently despite the uniform not being remotely secret”  ...Well, you certainly don’t look like a bad person. Well, at least we know Zack isn’t racist.  Hell, last time we kept quiet we got paid a pile of hush money. What are we going to get this time!? Reporter: Oh, thank you! I owe you, bigtime. So who are you, anyway? Reporter: Heh… My name isn’t important.  Reporter: Our readers are always searching for the truth. It’s my mission to give it to them. Why don’t you give me your contact info? I’ll send you my articles for free. Just my way of saying thanks. drat. More spam. Guess I should have turned this bastard in. I’m not gonna tell you to stop snooping around Shinra. Just don’t go overboard, all right?Reporter: Yeah, I know. I’ll see you around.  Man this guy is a lovely writer. He’s got good info though. I’m saying Kunsel is his source. That guy knows everything.  Heh. Some “Weapons” they were! Just ordinary monsters. Piece of cake! Man: Hmph. You Shinra people are never going to get it. But remember--it’s the planet that’s in deep trouble. ...Are you a member of AVALANCHE or something? Man: They claim justice for the planet, but murder is still their method of choice--no different from Shinra.  Man: SOLDIER, fighting to protect everyone in the world from its dangers. Is that what you want to say?  Man: That’s the real danger this planet is facing. Tell me how you’re going to fight that. …The theme of this chapter is “Zack gets it pounded into his head Shinra is a pretty crappy organization”  Woman: Hmm...I don’t know.   I’ll just leave you two love birds alone.Ok! We are FINALLY 90% done with the pre-mission poo poo. We still need to deal with some Wutai spies, but that will go pretty quick then we’re off to
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Apr 26, 2016 23:24
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I wonder if they might be trying to hint to Zack that Shinra's a bad company and everything he thought was great is actually total bullshit? Just a thought.
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Apr 27, 2016 00:31
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It seems like being in SOLDIER is 10% actual missions, 90% being hazed by literally everyone else in the
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Apr 27, 2016 07:13
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Aerith is never getting that cart, is she.
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Apr 27, 2016 20:21
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It's easy to confuse Zack with somebody who isn't in SOLDIER. After all, you can see his eyes.
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Apr 29, 2016 02:36
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Chapter 16: Tinker, Tailor, SOLDIER, Spy Our long time of sorrow and fetch quests is JUST about over. One more to wrap it up and we’ll actually be heading to our mission this update.  SOLDIER 2nd Class: Zack, did you know? Remnants of the Wutai are on the move to form an anti-Shinra organization. The Wutai? Really? Woops. I guess we didn’t do QUITE enough genocide back in Wutai. We’ll do better next time, I swear! SOLDIER 2nd Class: ...And their spies have already infiltrated Midgar. Are you serious?SOLDIER 2nd Class: We now know that there are six of them, trying to blend in, here in Midgar. We’re scanning every area based on our intel, but we haven’t managed to find one yet…  Zack seems like an awful guy for this job, but hey, you take what you can get I guess. In general SOLDIER seems the wrong tool for this task. Turks must be loving off on some other job instead of this. SOLDIER 2nd Class: We appreciate your help. Let’s split up. Here are clues on the first spy we want to catch. We know he’s somewhere in Sector 8. If you find anyone suspicious, please detain him on the spot. The Wutai are masters of disguise! Don’t let their looks fool you! He’s not joking. Some of the disguises are outright ridiculous. So target one we really don’t have anything to go on. Basically we think it’s a man and he’s either in this or the next zone over. Also not a fangirl. So that only leaves a few actually!  This guy is hanging out at the end of LOVELESS alley. Man: N-n-nothing. It’s nothing! I-I-I’m a civi-civi-civilian! And I’m very busy! Don’t talk to me! Well, they may be master of disguise but not of blending in. We actually have to talk to the spies all three times to make the be revealed.  Second shot is just more LEAVE ME ALOOOONE. And finally: Man: … Curses! I’ve been found out!  And he sprints off while Zack stands around waiting for the other SOLDIER to answer.  Zack makes a quick catch up though.  A running theme is as the spies run away they’ll often pass behind something and come out the other side in Wutai warrior gear. Because that will help them escape in a town of people in normal clothes?   Well, scratch one off the list. Five to go.  SOLDIER 2nd Class: We’re currently interrogating the Wutai spy about the Remnants. If he drops any clues as to their location, that equals a mission for us. Here’s some info on the second spy.  SOLDIER 2nd Class: We’ve been searching for him in Sector 8, but there’s no sign of him. Now that we know what he looks like, I doubt he would return to the Shinra Building again… This one isn’t too bad to figure out if you’ve been making your rounds between missions. There are only two Shinra troops outside of Midgar Tower, and only one outside of Sector 8. So to the Sector 5 Market!  Infantryman: Oh, nothing, sir. I’m a Shinra infantryman on patrol. Second chat we get: Infantryman: All clear, SOLDIER sir! (What’s this guy want? I wish he wouldn’t talk to me.)  And the classic answer for talk three! Infantryman: … Uh-oh! He’s onto me! Zack calls his fellow SOLDIER buddy up and we’re on the chase again!  Angle of this transformation worked out a bit better for catching in action than the first.   SOLDIER 2nd Class: This one seems to have made off with classified information by sneaking onto the SOLDIER floor. Based on how brazen he is, he could be disguised as someone who has business with Shinra. poo poo! Those two we caught doing it in the VR room were Wutai spies! The blood is on my hands(and their money in my wallet)  For this one we just need to harass businessmen in Shinra Tower. This guy pops out of the elevator after about 15 seconds and wanders a bit. Employee: Could the Shinra Company have possibly built a more convoluted building? I mean, how could a building as giant as this only have two elevators. It’s ridiculous.  Employee: There is nothing suspicious about me. Please stop looking at me like that. I like to imagine Zack’s strategy is just to walk up to randomly people and stare intently at them until they start talking. If they don’t respond as he thinks they should, he stares even MORE intently until they are like “What the gently caress is your problem” or yell “I’m a Wutai spy, just stop the staring!” Employee: I already told you once. … What? The jig’s up!? You’re not going anywhere! The transform sequences are funny to me because they make sense(ish) from our camera perspective, but must be really weird to Zack who can see what is going on. I guess it could just be a materia illusion wearing off.   Blah blah blah, thanks for capturing the spy, blah blah. Seriously, we get the same speech of THANKS FOR DOING THIS, WE ARE INVESTIGATING after every spy. Same exact words. Laaazy. SOLDIER 2nd Class: This one is also a sucker for money, apparently, but that’s not much to go on… Hey! We got this one easy. It’s the gold digger from last update!  Woman: (His face earns him three stars. The rest is up to what’s in his wallet.)  Woman: (SOLDIER… I hope he goes away soon…) What do you want, SOLDIER man? … … …What? You know!?  The wonders of transformation really start kicking in. Though I guess Wutai armor hides gender pretty well.  SOLDIER 2nd Class: It’s possible that the spy was somehow involved with the Space Development Department… This one isn’t too bad either. The only thing to do with space is the model of the Shinra No. 26 in the display room of Shinra Tower.  Employee: Shinra took away my dreams of going to space. I am never going to forgive them for that. Now I want to see the Shinra version of the Right Stuff. You’ve done enough spin offs Squeenix, why not that?  Employee: You bet I do! So what of it? … What? You know!?  Apparently they have been training this pilot or whatever the hell he is as a Wutai ground trooper. He is, The Last Samurai. Starring Tom Cruise in blackface for half the movie because it wasn’t racist enough.  And onto our last spy and the end of this chapter’s drudgery. drat near killed me! SOLDIER 2nd Class: This one apparently has a grudge against a SOLDIER operative who was in the Wutai operation. That probably means you, Zack. But that’s all we know at this point… If he’s not in our intelligence network, that might mean he specializes in espionage. This one can honestly be a real pain. I almost guarantee it will be just about the last person in the last place you look.  Yep! It’s a kid playing in the park in Sector 5. Boy: I can take the whole Shinra army! SOLDIER can’t beat me! I mean, it’s pretty obvious once he actually starts talking. But I can see easily passing these kids by and getting real frustrated.  Boy: Um, what is it, big guy? … Dang! They got me!  It’s really creepy that a grown man has just been hanging around in this park playing with kids. It’s clear from the other kids in park he wasn’t just standing around.  SOLDIER 2nd Class: It’s all thanks to you, Zack. All that’s left now is to crush the Wutai remnants’ bases. Oh boy more side missions! We’ll get to it...eventually.  Zack is basically carrying around a hardware store at this point.  Son of a bitch! Haven’t we suffered enough game? The Silver Elite?Sephiroth Fan: Some people don’t even think we’re real. It’s a miracle that you have the chance to join.  Uhh… Is that so?Sephiroth Fan: Then let’s begin the entrance exam. Wait, wait! Aren’t you supposed to ASK me if I want to join the--Even Zack is getting concerned with fanclubs at this point. Sephiroth Fan: Question 1. What is the name of Sephiroth’s sword?  Sephiroth Fan: You better answer before time is up!  Let the ambush begin! ⅔ of the questions are super easy. One requires paying some attention. Sephiroth Fan: Correct! Question 2. What is the name of Sephiroth’s ultimate attack?  This one raises a lot of questions. Has he always had the ability to destroy the sun? Does he use it often? Did he have a much more tame version of it when he was still mostly human?  Sephiroth Fan: Correct! Question 3. In which hand does Sephiroth hold his sword?  Basically for this you really need know FF7 minutiae or have paid attention during gently caress off crazy FMV while we hunted down Genesis. Sephiroth Fan: Congratulations. You are now a chosen member of the Silver Elite.  Sephiroth Fan: Oh? Looks like you got your first mail.  My god. What have we done. What have we gotten into. How do these people know this?   Looks like Aerith isn’t the only one that wants a piece of that Zack action.Ok. It’s been about 4 updates, and an hour and a half of wandering Midgar. Finally we can make it to Aerith and make that drat wagon.  Click to Watch God drat it, Tseng! I thought we were friends. I know, just give me a minute.  Aerith isn’t there. Problem? This is one fabulous pose, that I don’t think we get to see again. It’s complicated. Daaaamn. Knew we should have Facebook stalked her and checked her status. Reeeallly… Did she tell you anything? Then I won’t either.  Grrr… Well, whatever, I guess.  *Insert explosion and the whistling of an engine spooling down here*  Well, uh, that was sudden and unexpected.  Zack is taking the crash well. Also showing off his hick background.  Zack calling out for them apparently made them pop into existence. They totally aren’t there two screenshots back! And they are standing up like they were thrown clear, not like they just crawled out of the wreckage. No signal out here.  Thankfully, we have someone used to this kind of terrain. Yeah, yeah, I’m a country boy… Alright, then. We would have reached Modeoheim by now if we hadn’t crashed. So we’re going to need to need to make up for lost time.  -End Video- Music: March on the Frontier (from ''LAST ORDER FFVII'')  Apparently the mountain wildlife around here are giant bare-legged emus(Replicons???) and Bizarre Bugs, because insects are also known for their cold resistance.  The current load out! Fire Ring gives most of our attacks fire element, Venom Shock can poison(It’s awful and I swap it out fairly soon), and Diamond Gloves boost STR and MAG. I decided to tone back my power level a bit after slaughtering things left and right the last few combat bits.  Click to Watch Music: A Moment of Courtesy At least someone’s keeping up! Infantryman: Well, I’m a country boy too. From where?  Hahahaha!Infantryman: How about you? Me? Gongaga. Infantryman: Heh heh  Infantryman: No, but it’s such a backwater name. Ditto Nibelheim. Infantryman: Like you’ve been there. I haven’t. But there’s a reactor there right? A mako reactor outside Midgar usually means…  The hicks solidly agree on this fact and say it at the same time.  Finally! An Infantryman Zack can bond with and doesn’t actively loathe him! Good news, Tseng! Me and…  It is a fine day when a schmuck earns the right to have a portrait. Cloud will henceforth ignore regulations and wander around without his helmet on for most of the rest of the game. Me and Cloud here are both backwater experts. Oh yeah!  Tseng just stand there going “gently caress my life” for a good five seconds after that line. Really should have gone with function over style and brought a parka, Tseng. And now we have Cloud on the DMW and the last of the normal slots are full! We also get heightened emotions with him after bonding as  kids.  Let’s wait a bit. Tseng and the other Infantryman are still dragging behind. God drat city slickers.  Hm? Um… What’s it like to be SOLDIER…? I don’t quite get the question. Um… Young Cloud is not the most well spoken guy. Loves him some ums and ...s  Not that Zack is an all star at clarifying things. “What’s it like” “poo poo if I know!”  Don’t sweat it! If I can do it, you can, too. Cloud, look.  They are both the worst at sneaking. Derp de derp, wearing dark clothes in pure white snow and silhouetting ourselves.   Hey, Tseng. Nice to finally join us. How’s the frost bite? I’ll go check it out. Our primary objective is to investigate Modeoheim. We can’t afford to lose people here. At the same time, we can’t ignore the activities of the Genesis Army. Therefore… Exactly.I don’t know how either one of them came think this is a great plan. Zack is at his best when acting more like a hand grenade thrown into an enemy compound. Loud and deadly. There’s an entrance at the back of that warehouse.  You can’t risk yourself getting inside so can risk yourself! You got it! I’ll prove that SOLDIER isn’t all about muscle and brawn. You watch carefully too, Cloud.  Zack, this is a sneaking mission. If you get caught, the enemy will destroy valuable supply caches.  Shinra is incapable of properly supplying you for a mission so if you stand in place too long you’ll freeze to death. To prevent this you’ll have to do squats. Squats? Right. You’ll have to press X on your controller with the right timing to execute them.  Good luck, Zack. Call me on your cell phone if you need any mission support.As long as we move fast that whole temperature thing really doesn’t matter much. And the only way you are getting all the loot tucked away here without getting spotted is to do it fast.  We go behind a guy as he walks away and swing to the left for a Power Attack Materia.  Then the hallway straight in front of the entrance is clear.  Well, clear in terms of   Don’t mind me sir.  This is at the front right corner with respect to the entrance.  Pretty much in the clear now. Further down the right hallway. These don’t grant haste like in FF7 since hate doesn’t exist. Instead it prevents Stop. Which is super valuable still!  The path hooks back to the left and we get our last piece of loot.  Some guy sees me at the last minute but peace out, suckers.
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May 15, 2016 19:58
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Nashun posted:
I'm going to say yes to all of the above, just because it seems like it'd be funnier in-universe that way.
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May 15, 2016 20:24
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Hell I would play a dedicated stealth game set in the FF7 Universe (Make the joke I dare you)
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May 15, 2016 22:23
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Squats, the solution to most of life's problems.
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May 15, 2016 22:43
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cokerpilot posted:Hell I would play a dedicated stealth game set in the FF7 Universe So a game where you play as the Turks?
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May 15, 2016 23:09
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Finally, a canon source of information on Sephiroth's showering habits!cokerpilot posted:Hell I would play a dedicated stealth game set in the FF7 Universe Then you'd love the missions in Dirge of Cerberus where you play as the cat part of Cait Sith sneaking around facilities! No you wouldn't. No one would.
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May 16, 2016 04:16
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