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Cthulhu Dreams
Dec 11, 2010

If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Pander posted:

Liked the preview. Always learn new things about dudes when you write, Smasher.

I'm curious about your deadball reliever theory Smasher. I agree with the hypothesis, I just wonder if there's a reasonable statistical test for it. Inherited runner strand rates seems like a good start.

Anyways starting flights to Japan again. God it's getting routine. I'll get my preview done during a layover in San Francisco in a few hours.

I suspect it's also that when you have runners on base 0 or 1 outs, it's late and close a ball in play can be devastating even if it results in an out. I suspect the better your defence is the less this matters, but when you have a shakey defence I feel this matters a lot.

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Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



Cthulhu Dreams posted:

I suspect it's also that when you have runners on base 0 or 1 outs, it's late and close a ball in play can be devastating even if it results in an out. I suspect the better your defence is the less this matters, but when you have a shakey defence I feel this matters a lot.
Defense would have to be a factor you take into consideration, one of many.

TheMcD: that seemed like an unnecessarily angry preview! So much swearing and fist-shaking at poor comrade Grinnblade. Is this some kind of latent German hatred of potatoes, favored cuisine of Slavic peoples? Are you marshalling an army TheMcD, should we be concerned?

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Pander posted:

TheMcD: that seemed like an unnecessarily angry preview! So much swearing and fist-shaking at poor comrade Grinnblade. Is this some kind of latent German hatred of potatoes, favored cuisine of Slavic peoples? Are you marshalling an army TheMcD, should we be concerned?

I like my potatoes mashed, thank you very much. Take that statement for what you will, be it that I actually like potatoes and just really don't like the way this team is going, or that I am indeed going to stomp the entire Slavic world into the dust and destroy all of their accursed potatoes.

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa
German potato salad is the best part of visiting in-laws on the holidays

Pash
Sep 10, 2009

The First of the Adorable Dead

DannoMack posted:

German potato salad is the best part of visiting in-laws on the holidays

German potato salad is great because it does not make me eat piles of mayo like normal potato salad. I can enjoy a little mayo on things but mayo potato salad is just too much.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
Super-League XIX, Preseason Pick 'em

Pick, lest you be picked by the grimmest fates...

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Detroit Wolverines
Mitchell Kernels
Slaughterhouse Nine
Upstate Highlanders

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Glastonbury Knights
Hoboken Zehpyrs
Rochester Generics
Rockford Losers

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP
Sindhi Sheikhs
South Dakota Marmosets
South Shore Gumshoes

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Detroit Wolverines
Glastonbury Knights
Hoboken Zephyrs
Mitchell Kernels
RCMP
Rochester Generics
Rockford Losers
Sindhi Sheikhs
Slaughterhouse Nine
South Dakota Marmosets
South Shore Gumshoes
Upstate Highlanders

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom
Minnesota Commission
St. Maarten Storm
World Warriors

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Houston Hol Horses
Oklahoma City Bombers
Portland Panderers
Trump Baseball

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
Akabira Killer Mikes
Kobe Crows
Porthcawl Rakers
South Bolton Eazy W's

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Akabira Killer Mikes
Houston Hol Horses
Khartoum Doom
Kobe Crows
Minnesota Commission
Oklahoma City Bombers
Porthcawl Rakers
Portland Panderers
South Bolton Eazy W's
St. Maarten Storm
Trump Baseball
World Warriors

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Aperture Scientists
Cuyahoga Flames
Genoa Janus
Kozmic Space Fish
Small Market Superstars

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Centralia Mines
Dusty Baker's Base Cloggers
Krakow Dragons
Mexico City Mexicutioners
Seattle Cagey Bees

Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Achewood Stoned Lightning
Glacier Werebears
Jersey City Jobbers
Omaha Forgettables

Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Brookings Dinos
Idaho Potatoes
The Gay Agenda
Your Dad's Beer League Team

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Mitchell Kernels

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Rockford Losers

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Hoboken Zephyrs
Sindhi Sheikhs

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
Akabira Killer Mikes

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Porthcawl Rakers
St. Maarten Storm

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Genoa Janus

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Mexico City Mexicutioners

Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Achewood Stoned Lightning

Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Your Dad's Beer League Team

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Pre-Season Pick'Em:

Memento Mori: Mitchell Kernels
Vae Victis: Hoboken Zephyrs
Sic Transit Vir: RCMP

Dynamo League Wildcards: Rockford Losers, Sindhi Sheikhs

Mark Bellhorn: Khartoum Doom
Senor Goodtimes: Oklahoma City Bombers
Norris-Smythe: Akabira Killer Mikes

Smasher League Wildcards: Portland Panderers, South Bolton Eazy W's

Punjabi Prison: Kozmic Space Fish
Kennel From Hell: Krakow Dragons
Monster's Ball: Jersey City Jobbers
Feast or Fired: The Gay Agenda

shepard.shouldgo
Feb 2, 2016

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Mitchell Kernels


Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Rockford Losers

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP


Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)

Rochester Generics
Sindhi Sheikhs


Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom


Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Portland Panderers


Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
Akabira Killer Mikes


Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)

Oklahoma City Bombers
South Bolton Eazy W's


Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Aperture Scientists


Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Dusty Baker's Base Cloggers


Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Glacier Werebears


Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Your Dad's Beer League Team

shepard.shouldgo fucked around with this message at 17:32 on Apr 28, 2016

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Mitchell Kernels

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Hoboken Zehpyrs

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Rockford Losers
Sindhi Sheikhs

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
South Bolton Eazy W's

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Kobe Crows
Portland Panderers

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Aperture Scientists

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Mexico City Mexicutioners

Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Achewood Stoned Lightning

Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Brookings Dinos

Pungry
Feb 26, 2011

JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.
Super-League XIX, Preseason Pick 'em

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Mitchell Kernels

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Rockford Losers

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Hoboken Zephyrs
Sindhi Sheikhs

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
Porthcawl Rakers

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Akabira Killer Mikes
Portland Panderers

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Aperture Scientists

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Seattle Cagey Bees

Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Jersey City Jobbers

Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Brookings Dinos

Yaya
Nov 14, 2012

vancloober cablucks
Phone posting so bear with me
Super-League XIX, Preseason Pick 'em

Pick, lest you be picked by the grimmest fates...

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Mitchell Kernels

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Rockford Losers

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Hoboken Zephyrs
Sindhi Sheikhs

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
Akabira Killer Mikes

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Houston Hol Horses
Portland Panderers

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Aperture Scientists

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Krakow Dragons

Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Jersey City Jobbers

Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Your Dad's Beer League Team

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company
Super-League XIX, Preseason Pick 'em

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Mitchell Kernels

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Glastonbury Knights

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Detroit Wolverines
Slaughterhouse Nine

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Portland Panderers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
Akabira Killer Mikes

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Kobe Crows
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Aperture Scientists

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Centralia Mines
(optimism springs eternal)

Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Jersey City Jobbers

Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Brookings Dinos

Pash
Sep 10, 2009

The First of the Adorable Dead
Super-League XIX, Preseason Pick 'em

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Mitchell Kernels


Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Hoboken Zehpyrs



Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Sindhi Sheikhs
South Dakota Marmosets


Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom


Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Oklahoma City Bombers


Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
Akabira Killer Mikes


Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Minnesota Commission
Portland Panderers


Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Kozmic Space Fish

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Dusty Baker's Base Cloggers


Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Jersey City Jobbers


Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Brookings Dinos

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

Hey HulkaMatt, are you going to track preseason pick 'em again, or do I need to set up a Google Form for people to fill out? Because ALL PICK 'EM THAT I DO THIS SEASON WILL NEED TO BE FILLED OUT VIA GOOGLE FORM (as well as on SA to confirm the picks)

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


I'll handle Pre-Season pick'em. You will do no pick'em this season, unless you do the playoff pickem

HulkaMatt fucked around with this message at 19:09 on Apr 28, 2016

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


Also BEET! You're the last one! I hope you can get your roster up soon!

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Mitchell Kernels

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Hoboken Zehpyrs

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Rochester Generics
Sindhi Sheikhs

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
Akabira Killer Mikes

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Portland Panderers
South Bolton Eazy W's

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Kozmic Space Fish

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Dusty Baker's Base Cloggers

Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Jersey City Jobbers

Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Your Dad's Beer League Team

Monathin
Sep 1, 2011

?????????
?

HulkaMatt posted:

I'll handle Pre-Season pick'em. You will do no pick'em this season, unless you do the playoff pickem

Like hell he gets to take my playoff season preemptive falling-on-my-sword away from me!

rabidsquid
Oct 11, 2004

LOVES THE KOG


Super-League XIX, Preseason Pick 'em

Pick, lest you be picked by the grimmest fates...

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Mitchell Kernels

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Hoboken Zehpyrs


Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Detroit Wolverines
Sindhi Sheikhs

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Portland Panderers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
Akabira Killer Mikes

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Oklahoma City Bombers
South Bolton Eazy W's

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Genoa Janus

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Mexico City Mexicutioners


Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Jersey City Jobbers

Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Brookings Dinos

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


I'm pretty much done with my contest entry.

I just need to record all of it.

Here's part 1.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPyG8kcQxi4

GenericGirlName
Apr 10, 2012

Why did you post that?

HulkaMatt posted:

I'm pretty much done with my contest entry.

I just need to record all of it.

Here's part 1.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPyG8kcQxi4

This is amazing, I made the mistake of watching it at work!!!!!!!!! :supaburn::munch::allears:

Monathin
Sep 1, 2011

?????????
?

HulkaMatt posted:

I'm pretty much done with my contest entry.

I just need to record all of it.

Here's part 1.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPyG8kcQxi4

God drat, Hulkamatt.

tadashi
Feb 20, 2006

Super-League XIX, Preseason Pick 'em


Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Upstate Highlanders

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)

Rockford Losers

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
South Dakota Marmosets

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Detroit Wolverines
Mitchell Kernels


Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Minnesota Commission

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
South Bolton Eazy W's

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Akabira Killer Mikes
Houston Hol Horses
Kobe Crows


Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Aperture Scientists

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Mexico City Mexicutioners


Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Jersey City Jobbers


Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
The Gay Agenda


I figured, if I somehow pull this off against the 500/1 odds, I guarantee myself 10 points nobody else is getting.

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe

tadashi posted:

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Akabira Killer Mikes
Houston Hol Horses
Kobe Crows

Why stop at 3? You can put down every SL team and score an easy 10 points, guaranteed.

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe
Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Mitchell Kernels

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Hoboken Zehpyrs

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Rockford Losers
Sindhi Sheikhs

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
South Bolton Eazy W's

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Portland Panderers
Akabira Killer Mikes

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Genoa Janus

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Mexico City Mexicutioners

Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Omaha Forgettables

Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Brookings Dinos

Faustoan Bargain
Dec 24, 2009

I'd sell my soul for a pitcher with a power sinker...
Super-League XIX, Preseason Pick 'em: My Bad Choices That Don't Result In A Shallow Roster With Bad Platoons

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)

Mitchell Kernels

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Hoboken Zehpyrs

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Detroit Wolverines
Sindhi Sheikhs

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)

Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
South Bolton Eazy W's

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)

Akabira Killer Mikes
Portland Panderers

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Aperture Scientists

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Krakow Dragons


Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)

Jersey City Jobbers

Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)

Idaho Potatoes

PASS THE MASH
Oct 30, 2013


Smasher Dynamo posted:

Super-League XIX, Preseason Pick 'em

Pick, lest you be picked by the grimmest fates...

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Mitchell Kernels

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Glastonbury Knights

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP


Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Hoboken Zephyrs
Sindhi Sheikhs


Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
Kobe Crows

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Portland Panderers
St. Maarten Storm

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Genoa Janus

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Krakow Dragons

Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Jersey City Jobbers

Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Your Dad's Beer League Team

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Der Kommander

HulkaMatt posted:

I'm pretty much done with my contest entry.

I just need to record all of it.

Here's part 1.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPyG8kcQxi4

Well poo poo, what hope do I have now?

You guys are seriously doing your damnedest not to let any of the magical adventure elements of this come in. But hey, that's what I get for leaving it up to a vote.

Part 3 of My "Make Smasher Happy, Win a Draft Pick" Entry

FairGame shrugged, figuring whatever was in the top hat could wait until later. Not like it was at risk of getting stolen. Hats were Craig's gimmick and exclusively his. Nobody was going to try and wear one of his hats.

Well, maybe if it was one of those South Carolina Gamecocks hats that just said "COCKS". Those were very popular, what with this being a combined middle and high school.

"Sure, let's go get lunch."

FairGame and Sarah walked toward the cafeteria, and as such they didn't notice something crawling out of the hat.

"So, what are you up to this weekend?" Sarah asked.

FairGame smirked to himself. Small talk, eh? I'm loving amazing at small talk. "Oh, not a whole lot. I'm going to draw a bunch of bluenotes on things, see how many toasted ravioli I can eat, and then probably work on Moving the Goalposts."

Sarah arched an eyebrow. "Moving the Goalposts? What's that."

Heh. Everyone digs my creative writing.

"It's a game I'm building in RPGMaker. In it, you play a NHL goalie who is actually an adventurer from a world where magic exists. He learns that the Stanley Cup is actually an artifact of great power and the only way to return to his land and save the kingdom." FairGame felt himself sweating again, but this time it was the sweat of excitement. The sweat of good ideas.

"Oh, I think I saw an anime about that once," said Sarah. "Does the goalie have a sidekick that only he can see? And to everyone else he just looks like a mundane object?"

"Yeah! Wait, what? There's an anime about that? Wait, what?? You watch anime? FairGame swooned. "SWOON," he said aloud.

"Don't be weird about it," she replied. "Anyway, I stopped watching because it didn't really seem all that interesting."

But FairGame wasn't going to be dissuaded. "No, it's super interesting! I promise! Maybe you could come over and play test it for me one of these days. Right now I'm kinda stuck at the part where it turns out that every other goalie in the league is an evil demon in disguise who wants to use the Stanley Cup's power to conquer other dimensions. But it leaves me without a big bad guy to fight at the end. Everyone's kinda equally evil, ya know?"

Sarah shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe someone who's not a goalie. Or who has the power to control the goalies. Anyway, I can play sometime, sure. But do me a favor?"

"Sure, anything!"

"Don't talk about it again while we're in here."

FairGame, in his excitement, hadn't noticed that they'd reached the cafeteria. The comingled smells of sweaty teenagers, reheated processed food, and bagged PB&J filled the room. But there was some kind of commotion holding up the lunch line. That's why FairGame hadn't noticed they'd already arrived; they were still pretty far back from where lunch got served.

"Of course," FairGame said, standing on his tiptoes to try and see what was going on. "I know as teenagers, the most important thing we can do is not discuss our different interests and instead bottle them up inside in an effort to conform to societal norms that will likely result in varying levels of psychological trauma on a person-by-person basis."

"Cool, thanks," replied Sarah. "What do you think is going on up there?"

FairGame craned his neck. "I can't tell, but...ah, jeez. I think it's Craig. Maybe."

As if on queue, the crowd parted, revealing Craig wearing a very stylish goalie mask painted in the style of Goku, star of the best anime in the world. And he was having a tough go of it.

Two seniors, who FairGame only knew by their nicknames, Hulk and Facebones, were playing keep-away from Craig using what must've been his lunch.

Hulk tossed two hotdogs through the air. "C'mon, nerd! Get your lunch!" he taunted.

Craig swiped at the flying hotdogs, but was too slow. Both landed safely in the sweaty palms of Facebones. "Too slow, nerd!" the skinnier of the two bullies replied.

"Give me back my hotdogs!" shouted Craig. But while he was shouting, Facebones tossed them back to Hulk, keeping the game of keep-away going.

Hulk laughed, his multiple chins rippling with the gesture. "Tell you what, loser. If you don't get these back in the next toss, I'm gonna eat 'em."

Sarah elbowed FairGame in his ribs, hard. "Do something! I've had it with bullies!"

FairGame wanted no part of messing with seniors, but he also didn't want to ruin his chances with Sarah. He nervously took a step forward.

"Hey, uh," he shouted. "Give him back his lunch. You've already had enough, oh Prince of Wales, because you're so fat and it's a homonym of 'whale' and also because that's the name of an NHL conference."

Nice one. Literary, pertinent, and on-point. You nailed this.

FairGame was too busy thinking he'd succeeded to notice Facebones sneaking up behind him and sweeping his legs out from beneath him. He hit the ground, hard.

"Ohhhhhh!" shouted Hulk. "Get 'im a body bag yeahhhhhhhh,"

But FairGame wasn't defeated so easily. Not by superior fantasy historical fantasy baseball teams. Not by superior entries in contests. And certainly not by a couple of second-rate bullies. He got to his knees and prepared to stand.

Wait.

FairGame felt the message in his head more than actually heard it. That was weird. He hadn't gone down that hard.

I can help you. I can give you the power to take down bullies. And to do so much more.

"Who are you?" FairGame whispered.

Don't worry about who I am. We can talk about that later. Nobody else can see me but you. And that's what I'm counting on if you're going to defeat M I K E K E E N A N.

FairGame stayed still. This was very confusing.

"Gonna eat the hot dogggggggs," crowed Hulk, preparing to lower one into his mouth.

Get up. Put on the mask. Become a hero.

It was clear what FairGame needed to do next. But then again...

DECISION POINT
A.) Put on Craig's goalie mask
B.) Fight the bullies using your strength
C.) Fight the bullies using your guile
D.) Run away to the library and play Magic: The Gathering

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
D!

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

by exmarx

Smasher Dynamo posted:

Super-League XIX, Preseason Pick 'em

Pick, lest you be picked by the grimmest fates...

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Mitchell Kernels

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Rockford Losers

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Detroit Wolverines
Sindhi Sheikhs

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom


Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
South Bolton Eazy W's

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Portland Panderers
World Warriors

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Genoa Janus

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Krakow Dragons

Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Jersey City Jobbers


Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Your Dad's Beer League Team

shepard.shouldgo
Feb 2, 2016

I choose whichever option gives us fantasy creatures .

ForeverBWFC
Oct 19, 2011

Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!
Super-League XIX, Preseason Pick 'em

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Detroit Wolverines
Mitchell Kernels
Slaughterhouse Nine
Upstate Highlanders

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Glastonbury Knights
Hoboken Zehpyrs
Rochester Generics
Rockford Losers

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP
Sindhi Sheikhs
South Dakota Marmosets
South Shore Gumshoes

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Detroit Wolverines
Glastonbury Knights
Hoboken Zephyrs
Mitchell Kernels
RCMP
Rochester Generics
Rockford Losers
Sindhi Sheikhs
Slaughterhouse Nine
South Dakota Marmosets
South Shore Gumshoes
Upstate Highlanders

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
Porthcawl Rakers

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Portland Panderers
South Bolton Eazy W's

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Aperture Scientists

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Krakow Dragons

Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Achewood Stoned Lightning

Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
The Gay Agenda

Yaya
Nov 14, 2012

vancloober cablucks
I'm glad at least CraigK believes in the Warriors

TKBomber7285
Feb 20, 2011
Super-League XIX, Preseason Pick 'em

Pick, lest you be picked by the grimmest fates...

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Mitchell Kernels

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Rockford Losers

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
Sinhdi Sheikhs

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Hoboken Zephyrs
RCMP

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
Porthcawl Rakers

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Portland Panderers
Minnesota Commission

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Aperture Scientists

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Krakow Dragons

Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Achewood Stoned Lightning

Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Your Dad's Beer League Team

CraigK
Nov 4, 2008

by exmarx

Yaya posted:

I'm glad at least CraigK believes in the Warriors

The Warriors are my Surprise Pick For The Team That Everybody Wonders How The gently caress They Got To The Postseason

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiwBhIsGtLA

rabidsquid
Oct 11, 2004

LOVES THE KOG


I am really enjoying these videos but I was hearing a lot of weird background noise in that one.

Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician
Super-League XIX, Preseason Pick 'em

Who Will Win the Memento Mori Division? (10 Points)
Mitchell Kernels

Who Will Win the Vae Victis Division? (10 Points)
Hoboken Zehpyrs

Who Will Win the Sic Transit Vir Division (10 Points)
RCMP

Who Will be the TWO Dynamo League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Sindhi Sheikhs
Slaughterhouse Nine

Who Will Win the Mark Bellhorn Division (10 Points)
Khartoum Doom

Who Will Win the Senor Goodtimes Division (10 Points)
Oklahoma City Bombers

Who Will Win the Norris-Smythe Division (10 Points)
Porthcawl Rakers

Who Will Be the TWO Smasher League Wildcards (5 Points Each)
Akabira Killer Mikes
Portland Panderers

Who Will Win the Punjabi Prison? (5 Points)
Aperture Scientists

Who Will Win the Kennel From Hell? (5 Points)
Krakow Dragons

Who Will Win the Monster's Ball? (5 Points)
Jersey City Jobbers

Who Will Win the Feast or Fired? (5 Points)
Your Dad's Beer League Team

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Monicro
Oct 21, 2010

And you could feel his features in the air
A wide smile and perfect hair
He had complete control of the rising tides
And a medicine bag hanging at his side

In the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

rabidsquid posted:

I am really enjoying these videos but I was hearing a lot of weird background noise in that one.

I think that's just the ingame rain you're hearing. SNES ambience was, uh, not perfect yet

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