EVE Online 2017: We are the Alphas, the Omegas and the Gankers.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > The MMO HMO > EVE Online 2017: We are the Alphas, the Omegas and the Gankers.

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FruitNYogurtParfait: Mar 29, 2006; Sion lied. Deadtear died for our sins. #VengeanceForDeadtear
#PunGateNeverForget
#ModLivesMatter

http://i.imgur.com/AhAniTH.webm

# ? Apr 29, 2016 02:18

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# ? May 13, 2024 22:35

pugnax: Oct 10, 2012; Specialization is for insects.

EVE Online: that elephant racked its dong hardcore

# ? Apr 29, 2016 03:04

Liquid Dinosaur: Dec 16, 2011; by Smythe

Lack of Gravitas posted:

I don't know if there's a lore story to go with skill injectors, but there is one that explains how a capsuleer can get a cybernetic implant for a talent he's never had:

https://community.eveonline.com/backstory/chronicles/the-resurrection-men/

What exactly was happening here? What were they doing to the dude's brain?

# ? Apr 29, 2016 03:23

ranbo das: Oct 16, 2013

I just spent like an hour flying from jita to amarr and back trying to figure out what i did with my plex stash. Checked contracts, corp assets, personal assets, nothing. Then i checked the cargo of the ibis i was flying. Whoops. Suicide gankers are really slacking these days.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 04:11

Wyatt Derp: Jul 9, 2014; Blue Lives matter

ranbo das posted:

I just spent like an hour flying from jita to amarr and back trying to figure out what i did with my plex stash. Checked contracts, corp assets, personal assets, nothing. Then i checked the cargo of the ibis i was flying. Whoops. Suicide gankers are really slacking these days.

I'm never in the right place at the right time.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 04:53

Lack of Gravitas: Oct 11, 2012; Grimey Drawer

Liquid Dinosaur posted:

What exactly was happening here? What were they doing to the dude's brain?

They were making one of these by

Liquid Dinosaur posted:

...Sucking knowledge out of someone's brain to shoot it into someone else's brain... Like some capsuleer taking a master violinist's talent and then playing violin for like a week before getting bored, and jetting off to the other side of the galaxy without giving the skills back to the violinist, who just lost his ability to do his passion and also his only source of income.

except it was going into a USB stick and I don't think the guy was going to be in any state to care about his passions or sources of income once they were finished with him :ohdear:

The constant in EVE fiction is that the whole universe is hosed up and especially even more so when it concerns capsuleers. Bodysnatchers kidnapping talented civilians to make implants for capsuleers is no big deal when there are teeming trillions of civilians to choose from and the amount of wealth a capsuleer can amass is more like that of a government rather than an individual.

The story that went with planetary interaction when it released had a planetary governor trying to negotiate for like a 6-month transition of industry and management with a capsuleer, who responded by lighting up the city with rangefinder lasers and giving the governor 30 minutes to evacuate a city before orbital bombardment and prefabricated starports started landing.

I like this story about what goes on in your station containers with all the janitors, exotic dancers, VIP's, and marines that you pick up along the way, though.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 05:12

Jon Von Anchovi: Sep 5, 2014

Jon Von Anchovi fucked around with this message at 05:58 on Apr 29, 2016

# ? Apr 29, 2016 05:53

CainFortea: Oct 15, 2004

Lack of Gravitas posted:

They were making one of these by

except it was going into a USB stick and I don't think the guy was going to be in any state to care about his passions or sources of income once they were finished with him

The constant in EVE fiction is that the whole universe is hosed up and especially even more so when it concerns capsuleers. Bodysnatchers kidnapping talented civilians to make implants for capsuleers is no big deal when there are teeming trillions of civilians to choose from and the amount of wealth a capsuleer can amass is more like that of a government rather than an individual.

The story that went with planetary interaction when it released had a planetary governor trying to negotiate for like a 6-month transition of industry and management with a capsuleer, who responded by lighting up the city with rangefinder lasers and giving the governor 30 minutes to evacuate a city before orbital bombardment and prefabricated starports started landing.

I like this story about what goes on in your station containers with all the janitors, exotic dancers, VIP's, and marines that you pick up along the way, though.

Or how your ships are crewed. And even though they have lifeboats, there are always some who don't make it out alive. I think someone did the math and figured that even assuming high survival rates of the crew, B-R killed billions of crewmen.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 06:02

FruitNYogurtParfait: Mar 29, 2006; Sion lied. Deadtear died for our sins. #VengeanceForDeadtear
#PunGateNeverForget
#ModLivesMatter

titans passing populated planets do the same

# ? Apr 29, 2016 06:28

FruitNYogurtParfait: Mar 29, 2006; Sion lied. Deadtear died for our sins. #VengeanceForDeadtear
#PunGateNeverForget
#ModLivesMatter

http://i.imgur.com/2cL91Uh.webm

# ? Apr 29, 2016 06:42

ullerrm: Dec 31, 2012; Oh, the network slogan is true -- "watch FOX and be damned for all eternity!"

Lack of Gravitas posted:

The constant in EVE fiction is that the whole universe is hosed up and especially even more so when it concerns capsuleers. Bodysnatchers kidnapping talented civilians to make implants for capsuleers is no big deal when there are teeming trillions of civilians to choose from and the amount of wealth a capsuleer can amass is more like that of a government rather than an individual.

Capsuleer income more resembles that of an entire planet, or even entire solar systems. In one of the Eve novelizations, 1 isk was equivalent to a middle-class person's salary for a year. There was a lore piece in which someone got their hands on a shuttle that a capsuleer had discarded, and selling the shuttle was sufficient for a family to live in luxury for multiple generations.

That's part of the reason that capsuleers are frightening to the average person in the Eve universe; they're basically gods.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 07:03

Wyatt Derp: Jul 9, 2014; Blue Lives matter

Gods with dreadlocks, sunglasses and a nice leather jacket

# ? Apr 29, 2016 07:08

CainFortea: Oct 15, 2004

Gods with questionable planning skills in charge of weapons that fire voltswagen bus sized bullets.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 07:10

Carth Dookie: Jan 28, 2013

Wyatt Derp posted:

Gods with dreadlocks, sunglasses and a nice leather jacket

Gods who will self destruct their entire ship just to get home faster.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 07:13

Xolve: Oct 12, 2012; Well, shoot! We ain't come this far just to dump this thing in the drink. What's the nearest target opportunity?

CainFortea posted:

Gods with questionable planning skills in charge of weapons that fire voltswagen bus sized bullets.

Can you tell me what that is in Escalades?

I refuse your silly German measuring mechanics.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 07:17

CainFortea: Oct 15, 2004

Xolve posted:

Can you tell me what that is in Escalades?

I refuse your silly German measuring mechanics.

Well, mass wise that's about .6 Escalades. Volume wise, very similar dimensions.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 07:21

Wyatt Derp: Jul 9, 2014; Blue Lives matter

CainFortea posted:

Gods with questionable planning skills in charge of weapons that fire Volkswagen bus sized bullets.

Hitler still getting his revenge in New Eden

# ? Apr 29, 2016 07:21

DiggityDoink: Dec 9, 2007

Xolve posted:

Can you tell me what that is in Escalades?

I refuse your silly German measuring mechanics.

The largest gun is what? 1600mm? So like 1/3 of an Escalade at once.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 07:22

ullerrm: Dec 31, 2012; Oh, the network slogan is true -- "watch FOX and be damned for all eternity!"

DiggityDoink posted:

The largest gun is what? 1600mm? So like 1/3 of an Escalade at once.

Biggest gun with a known size is 3500mm (XL artillery). I say "known size" because we don't know how big, say, the barrel of an Ion Siege Blaster is.

Three and a half meters, in diameter, though -- that's probably enough to fit an Escalade through.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 07:36

Wyatt Derp: Jul 9, 2014; Blue Lives matter

ullerrm posted:

Biggest gun with a known size is 3500mm (XL artillery). I say "known size" because we don't know how big, say, the barrel of an Ion Siege Blaster is.

Three and a half meters, in diameter, though -- that's probably enough to fit an Escalade through.

Or Lady Scarlet's rear end

# ? Apr 29, 2016 07:36

Zephyrine: Jun 10, 2014; This is what meat is supposed to be like, dingus

I'm Swedish. I demand localization to Volvos for all these measurements.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 07:44

Zephyrine: Jun 10, 2014; This is what meat is supposed to be like, dingus

Also I need to update the Eve fan fiction I wrote a month ago.

Zephyrine posted:

Turns out that was just an imposter pretending to be DJ.

The real DJ perished during the great war. Unbeknownst to everyone. With the help of CCP BoB had built 40 Titans inside a wormhole. This fleet was unleashed near the end of the war. Poised for victory the fleet approached Goon battle lines by passing through a secret wormhole network. Darius was alerted to this. Knowing that the knowledge of such a force would demoralize the rest of Goonfleet, he took a small rifter fleet of his most trusted lieutenants and went into wormhole space to face the BoB Titans. The fighting was viscous and DJ was seen to destroy five Titans single-handedly before taking a glancing hit from a Doomsday weapon. Ejecting from his rifter, DJ used his pod to crash the exit wormhole. Making it go critical and trapping the remaining BoB Titans in wormhole space forever. His pod however exploded as the wormhole sealed. His frozen corpse was recovered and taken back home to be interned into the golden throne. Now the throne rests in the undercroft of VFK. Our enemies suspect this and they know that DJs frozen corpse is the key to recovering the lost Titan fleet that they need to win this war.

One of his last edicts before he crashed his pod was the formation of hole squad. To serve as the eternal guardians of goonkind. Their destined task was to search out and close wormholes that lead to the trapped BoB Titan fleet. Making sure that these Titans remain sealed inside wormhole space forever.

After capturing VFK and recovering the frozen corpse of DJ. NCdot used forbidden magics to resurrect him. PL planted the Goonswarm Alliance in his hands like a burning sword, and he was sent forth to dismantle the current Goonswarm Federation.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 08:29

xtothez: Jan 4, 2004; College Slice

Zephyrine posted:

Also I need to update the Eve fan fiction I wrote a month ago.

I had actually set this as the description of VFK station last month but the contemptible cockgoblins in NCdot have removed it to write something about a HVAC repairman.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 08:51

VideoGames: Aug 18, 2003

Thank you for all the explanations on skills and implants and all the surrounding issues.

Right when I was in the middle of alloting skills for flying a procurer (they look awesome! Like a mantis!) my internet died on me and I couldn't get it back. So many apologies to those in game chat.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 08:53

Xolve: Oct 12, 2012; Well, shoot! We ain't come this far just to dump this thing in the drink. What's the nearest target opportunity?

Zephyrine posted:

Also I need to update the Eve fan fiction I wrote a month ago.

After capturing VFK and recovering the frozen corpse of DJ. NCdot used forbidden magics to resurrect him. PL planted the Goonswarm Alliance in his hands like a burning sword, and he was sent forth to dismantle the current Goonswarm Federation.

Should name change to Gurmswarm.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 10:57

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

VideoGames posted:

Thank you for all the explanations on skills and implants and all the surrounding issues.

Right when I was in the middle of alloting skills for flying a procurer (they look awesome! Like a mantis!) my internet died on me and I couldn't get it back. So many apologies to those in game chat.

I hope the gurmista's didn't pop you. :ohdear:

# ? Apr 29, 2016 11:01

VideoGames: Aug 18, 2003

Oodles posted:

I hope the gurmista's didn't pop you.

Luckily I was chilling in the HQ making Rock twirl around in the hangar bay.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 11:08

Orions Lord: May 21, 2012

Xolve posted:

Should name change to Gurmswarm.

Ticker Video

# ? Apr 29, 2016 11:09

Lack of Gravitas: Oct 11, 2012; Grimey Drawer

VideoGames posted:

Luckily I was chilling in the HQ making Rock twirl around in the hangar bay.

look at the bottom of the screen after you've spun Rock more than ten times

# ? Apr 29, 2016 11:11

ugh its Troika: May 2, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Being on the opposite side of the galaxy from all of the most annoying people in EVE is gonna be pretty great.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 11:26

Zephyrine: Jun 10, 2014; This is what meat is supposed to be like, dingus

-Troika- posted:

Being on the opposite side of the galaxy from all of the most annoying people in EVE is gonna be pretty great.

Tell me of this magical land of mystery.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 13:51

dragonstalking: Oct 6, 2013; by Shine

VideoGames posted:

Thank you for all the explanations on skills and implants and all the surrounding issues.

Right when I was in the middle of alloting skills for flying a procurer (they look awesome! Like a mantis!) my internet died on me and I couldn't get it back. So many apologies to those in game chat.

Mining ships are unironically some of the coolest looking ships in eve.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 13:56

Zephyrine: Jun 10, 2014; This is what meat is supposed to be like, dingus

http://i.imgur.com/1rbSek0.webm

Edit:

ullerrm posted:

requesting a copy-paste of this to :blawrf: in the next jabber smiley pack

GSF should probably leave Blawrf alone at this point.

Zephyrine fucked around with this message at 14:27 on Apr 29, 2016

# ? Apr 29, 2016 14:01

Xachariah: Jul 26, 2004

Zephyrine posted:

Tell me of this magical land of mystery.

It's the exact opposite galactic antipode to Troika

He was complimenting us on our luck

# ? Apr 29, 2016 14:02

Drythe: Aug 26, 2012

Zephyrine posted:

I'm Swedish. I demand localization to Volvos for all these measurements.

I need this poo poo in Ford F-150s please

# ? Apr 29, 2016 14:09

CainFortea: Oct 15, 2004

Drythe posted:

I need this poo poo in Ford F-150s please

Never been out of alabama or something?

# ? Apr 29, 2016 14:32

Maneck: Sep 11, 2011

CainFortea posted:

Never been out of alabama or something?

In North America, that's most anywhere rural.

# ? Apr 29, 2016 15:05

ChickenWing: Jul 22, 2010

FruitNYogurtParfait posted:

titans passing populated planets do the same

Only Iapetan titans do. Regular titans don't affect tides.

e: my favourite "capsuleers are assholes" story is the one The Scope video where the ticker mentioned thousands of grieving families being mad at a capsuleer because he didn't care about losing his titan and "it's already replaced"

ChickenWing fucked around with this message at 15:16 on Apr 29, 2016

# ? Apr 29, 2016 15:13