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H5N1
Mar 8, 2005

heil satan
I can't believe how excited I am about the Jeb campaign!

H5N1 fucked around with this message at 23:44 on Oct 18, 2016

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No Mans Land 2
May 2, 2016

by Shine
Cruz and Carly 2016 - The pride comes before the fall

Al!
Apr 2, 2010

:coolspot::coolspot::coolspot::coolspot::coolspot:
i bet if you took a vote right now, most people would vote to have ted cruz executed

SLOSifl
Aug 10, 2002


Did he actually quit in his speech yet? Hopefully the only people who don't know are in that room.

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc

Joementum posted:

Uhh, he's still a US Senator

And will probably win again in 2018.

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

Joementum posted:

Uhh, he's still a US Senator

For two more years. In a Senate that hates his guts.

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc


:stare: that was quick

Colonel Corazon
Feb 12, 2011

A faction armed to the teeth hardly seems friendly to me.

I'm elaTed.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.
What is Ted Cruz's wife doing? She keeps sinking down off camera. I thought she might have been giving Ted a BJ.

Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009
Wow. WOW.

BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!
Robbing children running lemonade stands is what built the Cruz campaign.

Why does Cruz steal from small business owners?

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc
lol thanking Fiorina

AceRimmer
Mar 18, 2009

Super Ninja Fish posted:

What is Ted Cruz's wife doing? She keeps sinking down off camera. I thought she might have been giving Ted a BJ.
Comforting his poor children, who are probably about to cry.

edit: yep, she's just got them off the stage

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

Sir Tonk posted:

And will probably win again in 2018.

He won't, he is toast, every that can fund his next election hates his guts.

Lemming
Apr 21, 2008
The afterburners are on, my friends. This rocket is aimed right at the ground, so I hope you're buckled up.

Kazzah
Jul 15, 2011

Formerly known as
Krazyface
Hair Elf
Please Mr President, please stop winning, I'm sick of winning, I don't want to win any more.

SLOSifl
Aug 10, 2002


Super Ninja Fish posted:

What is Ted Cruz's wife doing? She keeps sinking down off camera. I thought she might have been giving Ted a BJ.

She's coughing up blood.

This is the most retarTed concession speech.

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Sir Tonk posted:



:stare: that was quick

Lyin' Ted rage quits after getting stumped by Trump

iustorum_anime
Apr 4, 2016



Serious question: does Trump (or Kasich, I guess) now get any of Ted's delegates, or are they all still bound to vote for him on the first ballot?

Von Sloneker
Jul 6, 2009

as if all this was something more
than another footnote on a postcard from nowhere,
another chapter in the handbook for exercises in futility
YOU SUCK

MysteriousStranger
Mar 3, 2016
My "vacation" is a euphemism for war tourism in Ukraine for some "bloody work" to escape my boring techie job and family.

Ask me about my warcrimes.
quitter!

BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!
Carly was a fantastic running mate for the fifteen minutes she was on the ticket.

Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009

New thread title

Beef Hardcheese
Jan 21, 2003

HOW ABOUT I LASH YOUR SHIT


hooooooooly poo poo :staredog:

Endless Trash
Aug 12, 2007


Carly logs onto her computer, selects the folder titled "VP stuff", and presses delete.

Herv
Mar 24, 2005

Soiled Meat
holy loving poo poo

Lemming
Apr 21, 2008
I'm getting to watch Cruz drop out live on TV

I'm so loving happy T_T

Cygna
Mar 6, 2009

The ghost of a god is no man.
holy gently caress, it's really over

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc

Three Olives posted:

He won't, he is toast, every that can fund his next election hates his guts.

Have you seen how Texas elections have been since Ann Richards lost?

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.
NOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But Rocks Hurt Head
Jun 30, 2003

by Hand Knit
Pillbug
honestly anything less than cruz killing himself on live tv would be a disappointing concession speech, but I"ll take what i can get

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc
:sad:

BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!
I wish Ted Cruz would suspend intaking oxygen.

OhFunny
Jun 26, 2013

EXTREMELY PISSED AT THE DNC
Ted's dead.

Endless Trash
Aug 12, 2007


That guy doing the Game of Thrones parody is hosed. In Game of Thrones the evil guy always wins.

mastershakeman
Oct 28, 2008

by vyelkin
gently caress I wanted a contested convention so bad

Sir Tonk
Apr 18, 2006
Young Orc
Ted is a mess!

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

Sir Tonk posted:

Have you seen how Texas elections have been since Ann Richards lost?

He's going to be primaried out with a shitload of money.

SLOSifl
Aug 10, 2002


Oh poo poo I love that the dude behind Cruz is crying.

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Princeps32
Nov 9, 2012
Whatever pain / hilarity we have to ensue in the next six months, we can all come together, at least here, to enjoy Cruz failing.

Someone requote that epic Cruz takedown post plz

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