TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

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marshmonkey: Dec 5, 2003; I was sick of looking
at your stupid avatar
so
have a cool cat instead.; Switchblade Switcharoo

Congratulations Boosted.

# ? May 4, 2016 01:42

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 27, 2024 23:29

Mystery Goomba: Jun 4, 2011

He's a nasty guy!

# ? May 4, 2016 01:43

Korelle: Sep 18, 2010

John Kasich is now 4th in a 2 man race.

# ? May 4, 2016 01:43

Cygna: Mar 6, 2009; The ghost of a god is no man.

Trump ate them all. Every last one of them

# ? May 4, 2016 01:43

Bucswabe: May 2, 2009

Oompa loompa doompety doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

What label best fits a man so slime-y;
He oozes out tonsil stones live on T-V?
Zodiac, Fish monster, I recommend�
Will Lyin� Ted�s grue-some-ness end?

Do do do do do

At least Satan could make a friend�

Oompa loompa doompety da
If you're not melt-y, you will go far.
You can Make America Great too
Like the Donald Trumpa Drumpfety do!

# ? May 4, 2016 01:43

Colonel Corazon: Feb 12, 2011; A faction armed to the teeth hardly seems friendly to me.

SubstituTed

# ? May 4, 2016 01:43

Lemming: Apr 21, 2008

It's too bad the convention will be boring now

# ? May 4, 2016 01:43

Prof. Lurker: Mar 10, 2015; I've got the fire of human liberty!

I'm setting fires everywhere!

And humans are turning on everywhere!

HOLY poo poo TRUMP DID IT

# ? May 4, 2016 01:43

BGrifter: Mar 16, 2007; Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!

Sir Tonk posted:

Ted is a mess!

Ted is a waste!

# ? May 4, 2016 01:43

Good Citizen: Aug 12, 2008; trump trump trump trump trump trump trump trump trump trump

I've heard worse excuses to get wasTed

# ? May 4, 2016 01:43

Endless Trash: Aug 12, 2007

"Sun comin' up in New York City"

:ironicat:

# ? May 4, 2016 01:44

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I had no idea that I could feel surprise any more, not from this election cycle.

# ? May 4, 2016 01:44

gregday: May 23, 2003

Now the locusts that make him up will collapse and disperse

# ? May 4, 2016 01:44

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

And now the Clinton smackdown comes against Trump. :neckbeard:

# ? May 4, 2016 01:44

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Lemming posted:

It's too bad the convention will be boring now

On the bright side the GOP will have to bend the knee to the golden throne.

# ? May 4, 2016 01:44

bean mom: Jan 30, 2009

Princeps32 posted:

Whatever pain / hilarity we have to ensue in the next six months, we can all come together, at least here, to enjoy Cruz failing.

Someone requote that epic Cruz takedown post plz

sec

quote:

I just want to remind everyone of something.

One of the most loathsome people to ever loving live on this planet, Ted Cruz, backstabbed and hosed over every person he came in contact with for the past four years, forced his party into a bunch of no-win scenarios that made them look stupid and clueless, and generally called out everyone in his entire party as a bunch of commiesymp Islamolibs who want to dress up as a gay-married woman and gently caress a child in a public bathroom. He did all of these things knowingly, burning every bridge he's ever crossed, mauling every hand that's ever fed him, all in service of one dream: He would become the Republican nominee in 2016 and win the Presidency and then the trail of blood and nightmares he left behind wouldn't matter because gently caress you I'm POTUS that's why.

He sacrificed everything to this goal, and he's going to lose by a small number of delegates to the political equivalent of the Fukushima meltdown. His strategy would (probably) have worked! It's pretty clear that the JEB! never stood a chance regardless of how much money he raised because he's a loving walking Ambien who conservatives thoroughly despise, Scott Walker couldn't even figure out how to hire someone who understood things like "a budget," Ben Carson looks like an attractive candidate up until he has to speak in anything other than meaningless fortune-cookie platitudes, etc. All that work, all that planning, all that treachery, all that time.

ALL FOR loving NOTHING AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

He's been reaching for this brass ring his entire life, leaning farther and farther out from his carousel horse. What would he lose first, his balance, or his nerve? But he never flinched, leaning out further and further with each turn of the carousel, and then just before, just before his fingertip brushed it an orange hand came out of nowhere and took that bitch right away from him, right in front of him, and there was never anything he could do to stop it. Now all that's left is the fall.

There aren't words in any language to describe the joy it brings me to see such a heinous, hateful motherfucker destroyed in such a gut-wrenching, miserable way. Tonight was the beginning of Ted Cruz's descent to a talk radio host saying things like, "Well, when *I* was in the United States Senate, let me tell you..."

Ted is a mess.
Ted is a waste.

# ? May 4, 2016 01:44

discoukulele: Jan 16, 2010; Yes Sir, I Can Boogie

Oh my god. Maybe I'm still bitter about growing up as a gay in a Texan evangelical household, but watching Cruz go down is giving me depths of schadenfreude that I didn't even know were possible.

:fap:

# ? May 4, 2016 01:44

BGrifter: Mar 16, 2007; Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!

Lemming posted:

It's too bad the convention will be boring now

I can't imagine a universe where the coronation of Donald J. Trump, Republican nominee for President, will be boring. Maybe this year we'll get the Holo-Reagan they were afraid would upstage Mitt Romney?

# ? May 4, 2016 01:44

some bust on that guy: Jan 21, 2006; This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

Prof. Lurker posted:

HOLY poo poo TRUMP DID IT

Not if John Kasick has anything to say about it

# ? May 4, 2016 01:45

Scrub-Niggurath: Nov 27, 2007

Lemming posted:

It's too bad the convention will be boring now

there is absolutely zero chance that a Donald Trump nomination convention is anything close to boring

# ? May 4, 2016 01:45

No Mans Land 2: May 2, 2016; by Shine

Cruz was never a worthy opponent, just more detritus to be pushed aside. His only value would have been if he joined Trump's campaign earlier on.

# ? May 4, 2016 01:45

Lemming: Apr 21, 2008

BGrifter posted:

I can't imagine a universe where the coronation of Donald J. Trump, Republican nominee for President, will be boring. Maybe this year we'll get the Holo-Reagan they were afraid would upstage Mitt Romney?

Well, I mean relatively. If the convention was contested there would have been fist fights, and I was really looking forward to it

# ? May 4, 2016 01:45

nachos: Jun 27, 2004; Wario Chalmers! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

"One of the best fields in modern history"
- Jake Tapper

# ? May 4, 2016 01:46

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

mastershakeman posted:

gently caress I wanted a contested convention so bad

there was never going to be one

# ? May 4, 2016 01:46

ass cobra: May 28, 2004; by Azathoth

L
M
A
O

it all too funny

# ? May 4, 2016 01:46

Full Battle Rattle: Aug 29, 2009; As long as the times refuse to change, we're going to make a hell of a racket.

I'm in shock. Well, now the race is officially Trump and Kasich, who has won exactly one state up to this point.

FrensaGeran posted:

That guy doing the Game of Thrones parody is hosed. In Game of Thrones the evil guy always wins.

This is the kind of twist that GRRM loves. Instead of an epic Cruz/Trump showdown Cruz is unceremoniously mowed down in a skirmish

# ? May 4, 2016 01:46

bean mom: Jan 30, 2009

nachos posted:

"One of the best fields in modern history"
- Jake Tapper

well, for humor, he's not wrong

# ? May 4, 2016 01:46

Colonel Corazon: Feb 12, 2011; A faction armed to the teeth hardly seems friendly to me.

Trump has perfecTed his game

# ? May 4, 2016 01:46

BGrifter: Mar 16, 2007; Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!

Lemming posted:

Well, I mean relatively. If the convention was contested there would have been fist fights, and I was really looking forward to it

On the upside this is early enough for Trump to have everything on stage coated in gold paint and giant TRUMP logos plastered all over everything. It'll be yooge and very classy.

# ? May 4, 2016 01:47

Slate Action: Feb 13, 2012; by exmarx

https://twitter.com/tedcruz/status/498211667818586112

# ? May 4, 2016 01:47

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

https://twitter.com/jason_a_w/status/727654911232475140

it begins

# ? May 4, 2016 01:47

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

The party............. decides

# ? May 4, 2016 01:47

Pepe Silvia Browne: Jan 1, 2007

Bucswabe posted:

Oompa loompa doompety doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

What label best fits a man so slime-y;
He oozes out tonsil stones live on T-V?
Zodiac, Fish monster, I recommend�
Will Lyin� Ted�s grue-some-ness end?

Do do do do do

At least Satan could make a friend�

Oompa loompa doompety da
If you're not melt-y, you will go far.
You can Make America Great too
Like the Donald Trumpa Drumpfety do!